‘Teen Mom 2’ Season 7 Episode 7 Recap: David Gets Mad & Javi Saves the World

"I can probably save the world and still be back for Season 8..."
“I can probably save the world and still be back for Season 8…”

Howdy y’all! Tonight on Teen Mom 2, it seems that everyone is leavin’ or screamin”! You know it’s going to be a good episode when the preview is basically just one long ugly cry fest. The Ashley can hardly wait to dive right into this crap.

We kick things off with everyone’s favorite almost-felon, Jenelle, who is getting all gussied up for an important date. No, she’s not heading out for a romantic evening of Instagram photo snapping with her boyfriend, Lurch, no sir! This “Mary Kay experience” is for her ex, Nathan Griffith, whom Jenelle is meeting up with to talk about Jenelle holding their lovechild Kaiser hostage, as well as the assault charges against her. It’s basically the same things that everyone talks about over lunch.

"Leah was right! This Mary Kay bronzer is fab!"
“Leah was right! This Mary Kay bronzer is fab!”

As per usual, though, Lurch is hovering over his meal ticket soulmate, and will probably be sitting at home, staring at the wall until she returns to their humble abode. Jenelle then offers Lurch the opportunity to come with her and “sit from a distance” while she speaks to Nathan. (Nothing spoils a lunch more than having ol’ Lurch giving you that dead-behind-the-eyes stare from 20 feet away over at the Burger King.)

Jenelle says she’s happy to be able to have a conversation with Nathan one-on-one, without Nathan’s new squeeze Jessica sitting over his shoulder. (Um…didn’t you just invite your new squeeze to sit over your shoulder? WTF?) Lurch opts to come along for the ride to “protect” Jenelle from Nathan (and possibly get a free Whopper meal out of MTV).

"Me mad. Me punch Nathan. Me get free lunch."
“Me mad. Me punch Nathan. Me get free lunch.”

Lurch isn’t thrilled that Jenelle is having a lunch date with Nathan to discuss their issues, rather than her just calling him.

He also seems to notice that Jenelle’s got her hair and makeup done like she’s going to the prom, but Jenelle defends her actions as David slams himself into the bathroom to pout. He gets all jealous and threatens to beat Nathan’s spray-tanned ass should he raise his voice at Jenelle.

Ahhh….as always, Jenelle’s relationship is the picture of perfection and stability. Well, Juh-nelle, ya never disappoint with the booooooyfriends, do ya?!

Also…did anyone else notice the half-empty bottle of tequila sitting on Jenelle’s nightstand? She must be on the Amber & Matt “Sober Living Plan.”

"All y'all kids watch out for radioactive potholes now, ya hear?"
“All y’all kids watch out for radioactive potholes now, ya hear?”

We move on to check in with Leah, who is hanging out at the park with her entire litter of girls. To be fair, I’m being very generous when I call it a “park.” It actually looks more like a playground in Chernobyl. The grass is all sad and patchy brown, and the play gym is just randomly behind some brick building that may or may not be the county jail.

Anyway, it’s a special day for Leah’s girls because…well, they get lunch. Leah’s done stopped at the gas station and picked up a pizza and some wings for her, the girls and her long-lost friend Kayla to stuff into their gullets. (Unfortunately for us, Chasity wasn’t invited to the Chernobyl park outing. It would have been fantastic to watch her try to give Leah “advice” while slopping down a box ‘o’ wings.)

When there's some creepy dude prowling the playground behind you but you don't notice 'cause there's pizza...
When there’s some creepy dude prowling the playground behind you but you don’t notice ’cause there’s pizza…

Anyway, Leah’s all giddy as she explains to Kayla that she had a “great talk” with Jeremy over a dinner. Leah admits that she’s not “completely over” Jeremy but that she doesn’t want to be in a relationship with anyone right now. That’s good, of course, because Jeremy obviously would rather claw his own eyes out with an icepick than be in a relationship with Leah again.

Also…Leah was living with T.R. Dues when this scene was filmed…but that’s none of my business…


Next, Kayla seems to remember that Leah has a bunch of kids, so she asks how Ali is doing. Leah explains to her pal that soon Ali’s condition will start “affecting other organs that’s muscle.”

Kayla stares at her like she has no clue what the hell Leah is talking about. I miss Chasity. What Leah just said would have made complete sense to her.

Meanwhile, in South Dakota, Other Chelsey is hanging out at Chelsea‘s zoo cabin, and the girls begin gabbing about Chelsea’s upcoming wedding. Pigs, dogs and other assorted critters are running all over. Speaking of critters, the conversation soon turns to Adam and the fact that Chelsea’s planning on getting more child support money from him.

I think even the dog's tired of hearing about Adam at this point...
I think even the dog’s tired of hearing about Adam at this point…

Chelsea tells us that, in regard to child support, Adam goes in spurts. (Anyone else feel mildly queasy at the thought of Adam “spurting?”) Apparently, Chelsea means that Adam pays child support whenever he happens to have a few extra bucks left over after he buys his protein shakes and muscle tanks for the month.

Chelsea reveals that Adam currently pays about $150 a month for his child, but Chelsea is hoping to bump that up big time, now that Adam has a job teaching Jazzercise (or something), not to mention that GIANT check he gets from MTV every so often.

"I feel like you've been leaving for like five episodes already!"
“I feel like you’ve been leaving for like five episodes already!”

Lastly, we head to Delaware, where Kail is preparing for Javi to leave on deployment. She’s making him a going away video to show at the party they are throwing to celebrate him leaving. Kail gets Lincoln to film first, and although she’s trying to get him to say goodbye to his dad, Lincoln simply busts out his signature slogan “NO!” (Hey, at least he didn’t call Javi a ‘puta’ this time. That would have been awkward…and amazing.)

The next day, Kail & Co. are planning to drive to Philadelphia, where they’ll be hosting a big party for Javi before he ships off. Javi is sad thinking about having to leave his home, but Kail is still pretty emotionless about the whole thing. Javi seems sad that his wife can’t even squeeze out one tear over his departure. She promises she’ll bust out a few tears before he leaves.

When you don't want to be on your friend's stupid show but you still want to be part of the group...
When you don’t want to be on your friend’s stupid show but you still want to be part of the group…

Javi bids his dogs and home farewell, but perks up once he arrives at his deployment party.  A bunch of Javi’s friends toast to Javi (but a few apparently didn’t sign the release form so they are sporting “Blur Face.”) Kail tells her friends that she is hoping that Javi being gone will help her like him more.

It’s time for Kail to play the goodbye video for Javi, and everyone gathers ’round to watch it. Everyone’s on there– Sterling, Javi’s family, Isaac and Lincoln– and finally Kail starts bawling and soon everyone in the room is crying. Good times.

"Dern this phone!"
“Dern this phone!”

In West Virginia, some sort of PDF arrives via text for Leah. She struggles to read it, not because of all the big words but because her phone screen is so horribly cracked that she literally can’t make out what the papers say. She’s gonna have to start borrowing Mama Dawn‘s Jitterbug phone pretty soon if she doesn’t get that dingdang glass fixed!

Anyway, Leah sits down on her laundry pile so she can call up Chasity and tell her what the papers said. Apparently, the papers were from the courts, and they were informing Leah that her motion to have the twins’ custody reexamined has been approved.

"I don't know why Corey thinks I'm a mess. Nothin' in my life is a mess!"
“I don’t know why Corey thinks I’m a mess. Nothin’ in my life is a mess!”

“We have a date, me and Corey!” Leah says, to which Chasity starts “Ooooohing” like she’s in the audience of a Full House episode taping and DJ and Steve just kissed.

I know Leah means court date, but…something tells me she wouldn’t mind taking ol’ Corey on one of them other kind of dates, you know, the ones where boxer shorts go down and the unplanned pregnancy rate goes up.


Leah’s thrilled that the courts are reconsidering the custody. After all, as she puts it, she’s totally got her s**t together. (As she says this, she’s sitting in a room full of clothes and trash, her cat is literally about to choke on a plastic pacifier and her daughter is chewing the plastic off of some muffins. As you do.)

"I saw Addie do this a few episodes ago and I have to try it!"
“I saw Addie do this a few episodes ago and I have to try it!”

Meanwhile, in South Carolina, Nathan and Jessica are having a fancy dinner. Nathan starts dumping Splenda into his drink (Addie-style) as Jessica proclaims that she’s “made out of artificial sweetener.”

Seriously? Is she just reading a CD insert of a 2005 Ashlee Simpson album or something? Also, for some reason, she’s all dressed up like Janice from Friends, with big hoop earings and a coat with a giant black fur collar. She’s obviously attempting to look “more classier” than Jenelle.

All I hear is "Chaaaaandler Bing!"
All I hear is “Ohhhh….My…Goooood.”

Anyway, Nathan tells his girlfriend about Jenelle’s grand plan to meet up for lunch to talk about “Kaiser.” Since Nathan hasn’t seen his son since he was Jenelle’s soulmate, he’s hoping that Jenelle will at least bring his son to the meeting. Jessica is suspicious as to why Jenelle suddenly wants to meet up. Nathan suspects that Jenelle is going to try to beg him to have Jessica drop the charges against her, but Nathan promises that will not happen.

Nathan uses his phone to look up Lurch’s rap sheet (and mugshot collection). It’s impressive, and Nathan is scared because Jenelle has essentially made Lurch Kaiser’s new daddy.

"If I was Leah or Jenelle, yes, every two to three years."
“If I was Leah or Jenelle, yes, every two to three years.”

In South Dakota, Chelsea getting Aubree’s opinion on how long she should wait after the wedding to get sperminated by Cole. Aubree advises her mom to wait until two days after the wedding to get pregnant. Hey, that’s longer than most of these girls wait to get knocked up!

Later, Chelsea tells Cole that as soon as that wedding band goes on, the sperm better come out, because she wants babies right away. Cole seems OK with that plan, but Chelsea is sad that Aubree will have a different last name than the rest of her family. Chelsea is thinking about asking her lawyer if they can change Aubree’s last name from Lind to DeBoer-Lind.


"Do I have to be there when you tell Adam about the name? He might bench-press me!"
“Do I have to be there when you tell Adam about the name? He might bench-press me!”

Can you picture the ‘roid rage Adam’s gonna have when he hears this one? Let’s hope an MTV camera crew is there to capture that Kodak moment!

Adam, meanwhile, is bragging about having spent $500 on toys for his dogs. He tells his friend that he is frustrated that he has to spend “double” for Aubree, since he’s paying child support and for the food etc that Aubree eats while she’s at his house. This is the man that literally just said he spent $500 on dog toys. Jesus God (Leah).

"I TOLD you! Everyone wears fake eyelashes when they meet up with their ex to talk about custody!"
“I TOLD you! Everyone wears fake eyelashes when they meet up with their ex to talk about custody!”

It’s time for Jenelle’s big “date” with Nathan, and Lurch is still all butt-hurt about it. He finally agrees to go along because…well, he has nothing better to do.  They head out to the restaurant and Lurch and Jenelle discuss how Nathan is such an unfit parent because he has a one-bedroom apartment and no highchair for Kaiser.

Speaking of Kaiser…um, where the hell is he? Did they forget him in his crib in the dark room or something? Perhaps Jenelle just wants to be a “bitch of a baby mama” and not let Nate see his son, so she dumped him off on Tori/Lurch’s mom/Babs/the UPS man who just happened to arrive at her door at the moment she realized she needed a sitter.

Jenelle and David pull up to whatever fine dining establishment this godforsaken meeting with Nathan will be taking place at.

Lurch is getting all bug-eyed and sweaty, which means he’s about to have some weird violent outburst.

I'm sorry...what?
I’m sorry…what?

“I feel like I’m about to fill this entire street with uppercut!” Lurch mutters. (The Ashley watched it back with closed captioning and that is, indeed, what he was muttering. What the hell it means is anyone’s guess.)

It’s almost cruel to make fun of Lurch. He’s kind of like Forest Gump…with a rap sheet and a puffy face.

"I've already eaten all the sugar packets off the table. Now what?"
“I’ve already eaten all the sugar packets off the table. Now what?”

Nathan’s already at the restaurant waiting, as Jenelle walks in. Lurch is sitting in the car, just waiting for the signal to come in and “fill a street with uppercut.”

Nathan is unhappy to see that Jenelle has “forgotten” Kaiser because he feels that he misses his daddy. (Jenelle smiles wickedly at that remark.) They start talking over each other and Nathan insists that he has all necessary equipment to keep Kaiser alive.

My face when Jenelle protests that Lurch isn't dangerous...even though he literally just threatened to beat up Nathan...
My face when Jenelle protests that Lurch isn’t dangerous…even though he literally just threatened to beat up Nathan…

“You live with a felon, I don’t!” Nathan says.

HEY! Being a felon ain’t illegal, Nate!

“He just got out of prison for domestic violence!” Nathan says of Lurch.

Jenelle defends Lurch.

“He wasn’t found guilty!” she insists.

Seriously, at this point, I think Luigi, the fry boy at the restaurant they’re at would be a better parental unit for Kaiser than any of these degenerates.

Nathan advises Jenelle to make wiser decisions in her life.

UM…ya think!?

"Just get back together with me and be my soulmate again..."
“Just get back together with me and be my soulmate again…”

Nate requests that he can bring Kaiser some Christmas presents, and Jenelle says that’s Ok if…Nathan will just drop those darn glass-throwing assault charges against her. She starts bawling and begging Nathan to not “ruin” her life by keeping them going in the court.

“I’m just trying to be a better person by letting you see Kaiser so I just hope you do the right thing,” Jenelle says.

If Jenelle had a dollar for every time someone told her that, she wouldn't have to been on this stupid show anymore!
If Jenelle had a dollar for every time someone told her that, she wouldn’t have to been on this stupid show anymore!

Uh….she’s only being a “better person” and letting Nathan see his kid because she needs something from Nathan. You better believe that if Jenelle didn’t need him to drop those charges, Nathan wouldn’t see Kaiser again until the kid was old enough to call Jenelle a bitch of a mother.

Also…what does custody have to do with assault charges? They’re two different things!

Meanwhile, Leah, Corey and Corey’s dad have made their way to Ohio to attend Ali’s appointment with her doctor.

They tell Ali’s doctor that Ali falls frequently and the doctor keeps repeating what he’s been saying for months: put the kid in a power wheelchair!

If looks could kill, that social worker would have suffered by death by Corey Tyler...
If looks could kill, that social worker would have suffered death by Corey Tyler…

Later, a hospital social worker comes in to make things all awkward. She asks if there have been any changes regarding the custody of Ali and Corey looks like he wants to “power wheelchair” over the lady’s face for bringing up the subject.

“That’s uncomfortable, I’m sorry,” the social worker says, obviously realizing that she’s basically opened up Pandora’s Box and will now be subjected to Leah spouting off about how Corey done took her kids away for no dingdang reason and how them Simms always lie when it comes to the youngins.

The social worker gets the answers to her questions and gets out of there fast so she doesn’t have to be involved in whatever the hell is happening with these people.

"Is it something I said?"
“Is it something I said?”

Before the social worker left, however, Leah made sure to let her know that she and Corey  would be heading to court next month. Ali is in the room during all of this, of course, but luckily is more focused on shoveling Skittles into her mouth than the adults’ conversation.

Afterward, it’s a lot of awkward silence between Leah and Corey, as Corey takes Ali home and Leah goes home kid-less. Corey and his dad talk in the parking lot about how uncomfortable it was talking to the social worker, and how wrong it was of Leah to mention the court date in front of Ali. He says that dealing with Leah is like dealing with a child.

"And then I told that dern-tootin' social worker that we wasn't done goin' to court yet!"
“And then I told that dern-tootin’ social worker that we wasn’t done goin’ to court yet!”

Leah can’t wait to call up Chasity to report on Ali what that dern Corey Tyler did. Chasity’s face pops up on Leah’s splintered phone and it’s mildly disturbing. Leah explains that Ali’s fine, or whatever, but that she could feel the tension between her and that smart ass, Corey, when the social worker asked about custody.

“I think that he knows that I’m doing better and that pisses him off,” Leah says.

Um…why would the father of your child be upset that you are doing better? Why would he be mad that you are now (possibly) feeding your kids and getting them to bed before the bars close at night?

Ahhh, this scene is heartbreaking.
Ahhh, this scene is heartbreaking.

In Pennsylvanian, it’s the day of Javi’s departure. Javi is feeling so sentimental, talking about how much his life has changed since he met Kail, and Kail reflects on how hard it will be without Javi. She is nervous that her relationship with Javi won’t be able to withstand the six months he’s gone. Javi proclaims that he’s going off to save the world.

They all head down to the street to see Javi off, and everyone is getting emotional. Kail advises her husband to go to the gym, and Javi tells her that she’s his best friend. Soon, everyone is crying. Javi tells Isaac that he’s his best friend (OMG, tears) and that he’s the man of the house now.

Javi loads into the car and drives off, leaving the family standing there crying as the episode ends.

To read The Ashley’s recap of the previous episode of ‘Teen Mom 2,’ click here!

(Photos: MTV)

79 Responses

  1. Jennelle is going to end up dead from one of these abusive, controlling boyfriends. Every relationship is the same. She is in constant safety risk. I doubt she will ever seek help. Pray she does not get pregnant by Dave. Sad. *shudder*

  2. WTF was up with Nathan’s hair? Did I see that correctly? Did he have a high ponytail with the bottom half of his head shaved? Please tell me I’m wrong. That looks even worse than his “Leave It To Beaver” greasy ‘do.

  3. Why does Jenelle always wear turtlenecks anytime she has to look good/professional? Not knocking turtlenecks, I just find her and them an odd combination.

    Also I found it a bit much that Javi KEPT telling Isaac he had to be the man of the house. He said it like 10 times. Probably more off-screen. It seemed like a lot of pressure and made everything so much more serious, making Isaac more upset.

    1. I agree with the “man of the house” comments. I would cringe every time Kail or Javi said it. Kids take things literally. Plus, Isaac is already a sensitive kid. I would think those constant comments would cause him anxiety.

  4. “Fill this whole street with uppercut” is a common redneck threat, if y’all were wondering. He did not say incorrect or anything. There is a popular viral Scooby skit from back in the day where a redneck says it. Jenelle’s new man is a country boy. I like him a lot better than any of her past boyfriends, although her previous soul mates were much more entertaining.

  5. Just my random thoughts on the episode
    Why does jenelle look like the love child of rose McGowan and a vh1 mob wife?
    How could Leah not feel weird lying when she knows she’s on camera? That woman never asked about the court date she said it totally on her own.
    What’s up wit Nathan’s hair? Dennis the menace meets steroids with a combover
    This reunion with Leah all alone is going to be a sob fest of her talking about all the mean people in her life

    If I had to live in Leah’s trash heap or drive around in her garbage filled car I sure as heck would want my mtv paycheck… Wake up TR dues
    Does anyone else think Kail is happy to see javi go?
    Kaiser might be better off going with javi rather than remaining at hotel de Felon in his dark bedroom eating whole hot dogs with creepy uncle Dave lurking around

  6. I could not stop laughing, your picture captions get me every time! ? I find most of these people creepy (uncle Dave?!??) and delusional (looking at you Leah). I’m continually amazed at how Leah thinks she is fooling everyone and genuinely believes she’s amazing and together. Really? Saying you don’t want a relationship but professing your feelings for ex-husbands and secretly living with someone? And thinking that Corey is mad that you “got your shit together”? Right because it’s all about you and not your girls. Ugh
    I thought the going away party was sweet but awkward. Javi kept crying and saying how much he’ll miss his family and Kail’s like “absence makes the heart grow fonder…I hope.” My heart breaks for Isaac, he is so sweet and it’s touching to see what a wonderful relationship he and Javi have. Say what you will about Javi and Kail but it’s obvious Javi is a good parent figure for him. Lincoln is a cutie too.
    I also think it’s only a matter of time before we see an Instagram rant from Adam.

  7. I know everyone here is pretty pro-Chelsea, but she needs to accept the fact Adam is Aubree’s father. Nothing can change that. Changing Aubree’s last name would be ridiculous, and wouldn’t Adam have to agree to it? It’s just so petty. Chelsea chose Adam to be the father of Aubree. She needs to learn to live with that choice she made when she was 16.

    1. I kind of agree. It does stink that Aubree is stuck with Adam but that is consequence of Chelsea getting pregnant at 16. I think changing her name would be appropriate if Adam decided to give up his rights (which at this point would only be a blessing because he’s such a deadbeat dad anyway). Chelsea should’ve changed Aubree’s name a long time ago to Houska but now it’s too late.

      1. It’s too late. Adam IS Aubree’s father and who Aubree knows as dad. To try and manipulate the situation to make her think otherwise is ridiculous and a disservice to her. Whenever my husband and his ex wife divorced, she attempted to get their daughters name changed to her maiden name (which she kept while they were married). It was laughed out of court, as my husband would have to agree to the name change as well as a judge.

        Whenever my husband complains about how crappy of a mom his ex wife is, I tell him I’m sorry, but that’s who you chose to be the mother of your child and now we are all dealing with the consequences of that action. When your daughter is older, teach her the importance of not rushing into marriage and kids like you did. For now, deal with parenting her on your time and don’t count on the other parent to parent to your standard.

        It’s the same concept. Don’t like how your ex parents? You’re also responsible for picking them. Chelsea CHOSE to have Aubree, and part of Aubree’s DNA is Adam. The fact it’s six years later and she still cant grasp that concept says to me she needs to dig down deep and seek therapy.

        1. I don’t think Chelsea needs therapy. For years she’s tried to have Adam involved in Aubree’s life and he’s always been in and out, more interested in cars etc. He’s also been rude and hurtful to both of them many times so I think that’s where Chelsea’s frustration and anger come from. I also think no one is trying to manipulate Aubree, however when your own father doesn’t pay that much attention to you but your future step-father does it’s easy to see which relationship is more positive. Also, Cole is very loving and respectful of Chelsea and Aubree and it’s nice for them to have a man in their life they can count on. But I do agree that changing her last name or even getting a hyphen is a little far fetched because Adam would never agree to it and that’s the reality of the situation. That’s where dealing with the consequences of your actions come in and you are right in you can’t change the past. Even if Aubree still has Lind as her last name doesn’t mean she won’t be an important part of her family. Unfortunately she was born to two people who cannot be together because they were 16 and had a lot of growing up to do.

          1. Chelsea has been manipulating Aubree for years. Talking crap about Adam blatantly in front of her IS manipulation. Doesn’t matter if she attempts to spell his name in front of her, it’s still a form of manipulation. And If you believe Chelsea hasn’t harmed her daughter by continually putting her father down in front of her, you’re naive.

          2. I thought that Chelsea changed Aubrees last name when she was a baby? When they went to see the lawyer with randy and her friend? I think it was on 16&P after he sent her that lovely “mistake” text..

          3. yeah what happened, I thought in the 16 and preg episode she changed aubree’s last name to houska and said she “never change her mind about the name” what happened??

          4. I don’t think that Chelsea is talking “crap” on Adam in front of Aubree. It’s more like she’s stating facts. Adam is not a bad dad, but he’s not a good one…Chelsea doesn’t have to do any manipulation to Aubree because Adams actions towards Aubree speak louder than Chelsea’s words. Aubree sits there and says that her dad won’t even play with her, he doesn’t come to events, Adam called her a mistake on national TV, and besides Jenelles BD Andrew, Adam is the worst dad in the teen mom franchise. He’s got the most mug shots and has said and done the most evil and irresponsible things. And as far as the last name thing, I think Chelsea is saying that because she wants Aubree to feel like an equal in the family. She is just trying to hyphenate the name, not completely take away Lind. She doesn’t want Aubree to feel like the red headed step child when her and Cole start having babies.

  8. Ashley you are absolutely REAL and outrageously funny take that look forward to reading much watching show. ?

  9. I’m so bored with Chelsea and would not miss her if she was gone. It’s the same old same old. I also root for Adam. It’s not right or fair that she does everything she can to try to turn Aubree against him. It does seem like he’s trying. Chelsea is always forcing Cole on Aubrey. I don’t like her parents either. Such enablers. Where would she be without her Dad’s money and MTV.

    1. I’m sorry but you can’t be absent from a child’s life for almost 6 years and to have the mother of your child chase you and beg you to come and pay some attention to your own flesh and blood, and then one day to just wake up and decide to step in. He had his CHANCES, and blew them all, but decided to “look more involved” only after Chelasea gave up on him and met someone who can be an actual role model for Aubrey. And even now it’s obvious that it’s all just a show for the cameras. Complaining about the amount of money he has to pay for child support and food when she’s around (which isn’t even that often) not showing up when it’s supposed to be his weekend, always being on his phone. If a 6 years old can notice that her dad doesn’t play with her, then he really is a piece of work, cuz usually kids are not that hard to impress and are more likely to remember the good moments.

      1. I agree with most of what you said, but I can’t relate to the sadness people feel when Aubree says that Adam doesn’t play with her. My parents never played with me and I turned out fine. My Mom was even a stay at home Mom, but she mostly cooked and cleaned – there was no playing with me. And I probably won’t play with my kids because it’s a foreign concept to me. You don’t have to play with your kids to be a good Dad. I think that at this point in his life, Adam doesn’t appear to be very paternal. Maybe that’s something he’s noticed as well and could be why he got a vasectomy.

  10. I say this every week but I absolutely love your recaps! Especially your written Leah “darn tootin'” West Virginny accent!

  11. I’m sorry why does MTV even still associate with Leah or do they have a thing for trash? She always worried bout herself to pay attention to her kids she will NEVER have the title of a mom yes she is a mother but not a Mom.
    N jenelle she only cares about herself she needs to stop letting anyone that shows her attention sleep in her bed. .
    Chelsea I like but for Pete sakes shut the **** up about Adam U sure U U don’t still want his junk.

  12. You missed the part where Leah was watching her kids at the chernoble park and Ali fell off and cracked her head. Leah didnt care

    1. And Ali’s Dr. keeps telling Leah to make sure that Ali doesn’t fall and to specifically not let her hit her head! Then Ali goes and smacks her head hard! I could never sit with my back to my kids while they are at the park AND when some strange guy is right there next to my child!!!! Leah you have a long way to go to be considered a good mother and just because you keep saying you’re a good mother doesn’t make it true!!!

    2. That was soooo sad when she fell off that swing! My heart broke. Poor Ali…she needs to be monitored more closely and they have got to put her in that wheel chair. She’s lucky Ali fell on soil and not concrete.

  13. somebody needs to tell Adam having a mowhawk is not a good plan B for a receding hairline. He looks a mess and he needs to go ahead and accept the fact he’s going bald and just cut that off….Nathan makes me queezy. He is just so unintelligent…every episode he butchers words that are not hard to pronounce for any other English speaking human, but clearly they’re too big for him because completely slaughters them…dramastically? and then he tried to pronounce paraphernalia and he said “paranalia”. He’s just the epitome of a meat head. That entire crew, Jenelle, Nathan, Nathan’s girlfriend that dresses and acts like she’s stuck in 2002….its like her as a person stopped maturing at the age of 20, but her body kept aging, and Uncle Dave….they’re all so STUPID! As soon as any of them open their mouths, stupid just comes out.

    1. then the other week he said electronical lmao. and he’s taking trig, right. he didn’t say he was passing though. jenelle misses chance after chance to cut him down properly, but she’s too stupid too. when he said, you’re not of the same caliber as me’, she should’ said, i’ll never insult you again if you can spell caliber right now. it could’ve been great lol

      1. Didn’t The Nathan take his ironic condescension a step further even and confuse caliber with “calliper” when he made that remark?? I mean I could have dreamed that but it doesn’t seem far off.

        1. And normally I’m pretty forgiving of people slipping up with words; I’m in academia and discussion in seminars where students are required to express complex ideas about things on the spot, often using terminology they’ve only encountered in readings and therefore don’t know how to use/pronounce in conversation, can get messy. My parents also don’t have English as a first language and correcting anyone like that who is trying to express themselves to you as best as they can with the tools available to them is just dickish imo. But Nathan has shown himself to be such a trash bag person that if I were in Jenelle’s place I would not hesitate at all to be like “Yeah dude, you’re right, I’m definitely not of the same ‘calliper’ as you. For one thing, I’m a human being and not a metal tool.” lmao

        2. LOL he did say caliber! and once again I just sat there and lost a few more brain cells watching him….it’s seriously not even entertaining how incredibly stupid he is, and clearly he doesn’t have a clue how dumb he is since he keeps using the words incorrectly over and over. And then he tried to hit Jenelle with that “involuntary parental alienation” thing and he could barely spit that out! The sheer and utter stupidity that comes out of that man childs mouth totally baffles me.

      2. BAHAHA! He did say electronical! There are honestly no words in the English dictionary that can describe the village idiot that is The Nathan.

        1. and i get downvoted 3 times lol. wonder what was wrong and/or offensive about pointing out his butchery of the english language? he may have said caliper lol, i can’t hear that great and i was laughing. but that episode with him drinking and saying the most awful things to jenelle is what sticks with me when i think of him getting custody. he’s already got anger issues and brain damage that makes his temper even worse, then he drinks liquor. it could be worse for kai with him, damn sure no better.

  14. Listen, I think Leah is unfit as the rest of ya’ll but I have to say that Gino’s pizza & wings is far from gas station food. That stuff is so good and not found in any gas station(that I’m awake of anyway). And also, I think that playground is at a school, which explains the building. As for the patchy grass, it’s close to winter when this was filmed and that’s what our West Virginia grass does. Put down Leah all you want but leave the poor playground and food out of it 😉

    1. Gino’s is flippin’ delicious, but I’d never order it to a park with my kids? I guess there’s really nothing wrong with it and I wouldn’t turn down a Gino’s pizza, it just seems odd park food.

  15. did anyone else watch the closer look special after this episode and notice when Amber tried to get snippy with Nessa like she does with the producers and Nessa was not having it? lol Amber has been coming off very arrogant lately whit her nasty attitude.

    1. I’m guessing once you reach the point where you realize that everyone around you was right about your “better half” and you’ve been fooled again, you either admit to being wrong or you do what Amber is doing and turn on the “attack mode”

    2. WHERE CAN I WATCH THESE THINGS? Everyone always talks about after shows/specials and I have no idea how to find them. I always watch on mtv.ca

  16. ‘I’m bout ta fill this whole street with upper cut’ reminds me in White Chicks when they threaten to have a BF (B*tch Fit) ?
    I’m picturing that at any moment his eyes will gloss over as he has some Hulk-like transformation, rips his shirt apart, tears off one of his shirt sleeves and proceeds to charge up and down the street upper-cutting the air (at a rate of like 90 upper cuts a minute) as though he’s fighting an invisible army, doing so until his arm can literally upper cut no more, and God help any small children of frail old ladies that might find themselves in his path! What a total bafoon.

    1. Hahaha like in don’t be a menace to south central while drinking juice in the hood. He just starts punching everything and you see her 15 kids flying everywhere.

      1. OMGosh !! Haven’t seen that movie in like 20yrs and forgot about that scene, until reading your message and then it all came flooding back? Good one lol!
        Cool name too – I had a feeling this ridiculous upper cut nonsense from Lurch would inspire some funny usernames on this site!??

  17. pretty sure all we’ve seen of javi since he left is him posting pics shopping and touring with some hot chick. if that’s saving the world, i’m in! nathan said domestic violence as if he didn’t just get arrested for the same damn thing. i don’t give a fuck how much jenelle runs her mouth, u don’t ‘wrestle’ a woman. he didn’t even pay for the damn ring, but he was hell bent on getting it back. probably to hurt jenelle and to pawn. now he’s found himself a yes girl to properly worship him. and no one mentions how babs also told jenelle to tell nathan he could see kai if he got the charges dropped. apple, tree. babs is y jenelle is the way she is so i don’t think she’s saved jace from shit. leah really does believe her own lies lol. she still swears jeremy felt the same that night. jeremy just looked disgusted the whole time. i think she’s added some uppers to stop passing out all over the place. problem solved in her mind. i feel so bad for isaac, he’s so upset for javi to leave for even six months, imagine if they divorce. i hope he’ll be ok. lincoln is just way too cute, love that kid. chelsea, your one big mistake was not taking adam up on signing off his rights. he’d be long gone by now. love randy for calling him out over the dog toy thing lol, thank you!

  18. Leah is a wreck; a total and complete disaster of a mother. But I honestly think she’s right about Corey wanting her to stay a wreck and doesn’t like to see her doing good. Corey gets all the “great dad” comments and he is really living that up right now. And why wouldn’t he? It keeps people from remembering that he chose to cheat on his WIFE with Leah just – what – a year or so ago?! I think Miranda probably feels “safer” that Corey won’t cheat on her again with Leah as long as Leah stays the hot mess she is now. I think both Corey and Miranda have gotten off on the fact that they look so wonderful – in large part – because Leah is such a mess. (I mean, look at poor Addie! She forgot her in the car just an episode or two ago!)

    I guess I just don’t think Corey is all that great a person. He’s a good dad – but great? He is just doing what a dad SHOULD do anyway. Compared to Adam he’s a good dad; but compared to the general population of good dad’s, meh, he’s just a dad. And one that cheated on his wife not long ago!

  19. Ashley! How dare you not give Nate his proper title? He will now and forever always be The Nathan. Give the man some respect, for shoot’s sake!

    Janice from FRIENDS had my dying of laughter, oh my god. You’re amazing.

  20. This episode was so boring. I think they should just call it a wrap after this season. You can tell a lot of them are just over all the drama.

    1. They aren’t over the paychecks. Being “over the drama” is just bad trying to act real skills on their part. But do agree…some overhauls need to be orchestrated.

  21. Leah is getting more and more annoying by the episode, always waving the victim card and always telling everyone how she “has her sh*t together” ; the comment about Corey being “pissed off” cuz she is doing so good atm was ridiculous (not surprising thous it’s Leah after all) .We all see your mess of a house, your trash mobile, which changes to a newer, more expensive ride all the time (like how does she even find the time to get it this dirty in such a short period of time????) cats jumping all over the place, cigarettes and what not. How is it always her and Adam who are portrayed in such a bad light?
    Besides, it’s such a shame that he needs to pay so much money for Aubrey, that’s 150 bucks a month that can go towards his dog and protein shakes. By the way, why does he still live in the small gray house since he already purchased a new one?

    As for Jenelle I’ve never liked her, but I’ve had a strong disliking for Nathan since the first time he showed up on the show, so I wouldn’t mind someone finally putting him in his place. And him talking about David’s charges was so out of place, because he is not much different either.
    As for Uncle Dave, he really does resemble a really tall-weird-faced Forrest Gump which makes me feel even worse to talk bad about him. He seems to be on the same mentally developed level as Kaiser.
    And Jenelle’s little drama spectacle in the fast food place was pathetic. Honey, you’ve been in front of the camera for the past 7 years, I’m sure you can do better than this!

    Kail and Javi’s part was painful to watch, not because of her, but because of Isaac. She seemed like she felt obligated to shed some tears, other than that she wasn’t very saddened by his deployment.

    1. I’m starting to think Adam and Leah should just get together because no one else will deal with their bs.

      1. That’s exactly what I was thinking but forgot to add it to my comment. After all they both apparently think that their kids don’t need food on regular basis and that’s waste of time and money (especially) to buy it.

        1. I’m so tired of Leah playing the victim card. Her fan girls are crazy and must be doing the same drugs she is. The girls are better off with Corey. If you have to keep telling people you have your shit together, than you probably don’t have your shit together.

    2. Right? People with their shit together generally don’t have to shout it in the face of anyone that might be listening. It’s usually one of those things that people can just…tell. Ugh. It just kills me that she actually believes that the whole custody thing is about her- not the girlses. That sort of self-centered thinking shows such a lack of maturity. It’s almost like she just doesn’t possess the ability to look at situations from a different angle. Initially I thought she just wouldn’t, but now I wonder if she can’t…like is this some sort of developmental delay issue? I don’t mean that in an insulting way either. It just seems like a possibility.

    3. I agree with you on everything. I CANNOT STAND NATHAN. He’s like the village idiot of teen mom 2! Every time he pops up on my screen, I just sit there in complete disgust.

      Leah will forever be the victim. Doesn’t matter how much someone speaks the truth about her actions, it will always be an attack on Leah. Girl can never ever take accountability. Even when she would cheat on either husband it was always because THEY weren’t giving HER enough attention.

      And I said it last episode. I think Kail was a little relieved to get some space from Javi…that entire miscarriage was a hugeeeee strain on them. Kail especially…from what I can gather, she feels like if Javi was able to abandon her emotionally during something as traumatic as THAT, then what else is he capable of?…But I feel like with them absence does make the heart grow fonder and when he gets back everything will be ok for a while. But yea, I think she started crying when she saw how upset Isaac was that Javi was leaving, not the fact that Javi was actually leaving lol

  22. Jenelle makes me intensely angry. Uncle Creepy is my least favorite soul mate. I never thought I would long for the days of Kieffer. Leah is an absolute joke. I really wonder if she actually believes her own lies. Does she really think Jeremy wanted her back? That she has it all together? Corey just wants to punish her? Her family seems to be tiring of her crap too. I don’t care for Kailyn or Javi, more so Javi. I do think it’s great Kailyn and Jo get along better than before for Isaac, he’s the sweetest! Glad Chelsea is happy but the whole changing Aubree’s last name was silly. She has a sister with that last name (yes she counts Chelsea) plus it’s not really that big a deal anyway. Maybe wait til she’s old enough to know and let her decide for herself. After all it is her name.

  23. You’re the BEST, Ashley! Your TM2 recaps are pure snark/comedic genius. I totally missed the cat with the pacifier when I watched on Monday. Holy hell! Thank you for making my evening, once again.

  24. The way Jenelle uses her son to get what she wants pisses me off so much. He is a human being, not a pawn. If she had been found guilty, she would have thrown an epic tantrum about how her life had been ruined forever and how it’s Jessica’s fault that she won’t be able to save lives. She isn’t capable of taking responsibility for anything she does wrong. It’s not like it’s hard to avoid having a violent charge on your record. If you make the choice to assault someone by throwing a glass at them, you make the choice to suffer the consequences of your actions. It’s BS that she wasn’t convicted; she should have been. She shouldn’t be allowed to work in the medical field. Her reaction to anyone that pisses her off has always been violence. She can’t even talk respectfully to someone that she thinks has done something wrong to her. How is she going to react to a patient that pisses her off? I hope her previous drug charges will be enough to keep anyone from hiring her. They may be misdemeanors, but it wasn’t a one time thing

    1. What always gets me is how she thinks one charge is going to prevent her from getting her dream job. Um, how about the fact that 95% of your mess of a life is on NATIONAL TELEVISION? Jenelle better enjoy these days of free meals and boob jobs, because this is the best it’s gonna get for her. She’s screwed herself over in the public eye too many times.

  25. Pretty sure he says “fill these skreets with uppercuts”. But maybe I don’t speak redneck hillbilly??

    1. That’s what I heard but even with close captions they usually put the word it’s supposed to be. But he definitely said skreet hahaha.

  26. It pissed me off when jenelle started crying about the charges ruining her life. Hey why don’t you cry about not having custody of your son you narcissistic b*tch.

    Leah, no one believes your lies. Just stop. Did anyone see the video jenelle posted with them singing leah happy birthday? Girl was tweaking bad. Seems like she’s a meth head now, with the drastic weight loss and jerk movements. How in the hell did she get more time with the girlses back!!???

    1. That video gave me the serious heeby jeebies. I’ve mentioned my horrible drug radar on here before, but even I could tell she was on some serious sh*t.

      1. I think Leah looks bad in the face. Her hair seems thinner, her face taut and pale..like she has aged very quickly, far beyond her years.

  27. Does anyone else get really annoyed when Leah talks and acts like she is so great? I feel like I lose brain cells when she talks lol

  28. I thought that Chelsea went to a lawyer years ago and changed Aubree’s name from Lind to Houska. It was during the time that Adam called Chelsea a stretch mark bitch, called Aubree a mistake and told her to get papers drawn up so that he could sign off on any and all rights to Aubree. When and why did she change it back to Lind? Big mistake.

    1. I think I remember reading somewhere that she never actually followed through with changing it. So its been Lind this whole time.

    2. I think it is currently hyphenated Lind-Houska I don’t think she was ever able to get rid of Lind completely

    3. Although Chelsea’s story is dull now…remembering the a-hole that her kids dad was (is) makes it nice that she found a sweet man like Cole. I can’t help but notice she doesn’t appear to be into him as more then a friend.

    4. Once Adam was on the birth certificate I think he got a say in whether or not to change the name, so it was too late when she tried to do it in 16 and Pregnant. Remember the lawyer was asking stuff like her reasons for changing it, and asked Megan for a statment that it was in Aubree’s best interests? If it had been a simple process that wouldn’t have been necessary. I think they probably took all that and applied to the court, and the court said no.

  29. Wtf is “fill this street with uppercut”?

    Another winning man for Jenelle. Not violent at all. I give her until August before cops are called for DV at her pad and that is being very generous. The blind sites have already stated that they have been physically fighting for the past couple of months.

    1. Literally was going to say just this! I’ve lurked this site for a VERY long time and never felt compelled to comment until this. Keep up the amazing work! 🙂

  30. I about died when you said leah was gonna have to start using mama Dawn’s jitterbug phone???That was the best.

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