‘Kendra On Top’ Season 5 Finale Recap: Kendronce Ruins Music & Everybody’s Day

Whatever is happening here needs to stop...
Whatever is happening here needs to stop…

It’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for…it’s time for the season finale of Kendra On Top! We’ve made it through shameless on-camera flirting, drunken stepmother sex stories and a whole lot of fake drama to get to this point!

We start out with Kendra meeting with producers about the music video for the song she recorded. Naturally, the video will be space-themed and…well, awful.

"Four years of film school and this is what my life has become? Sigh."
“Four years of film school and this is what my life has become? Sigh.”

Once on set, Kendra keeps referring to herself as Kendronce.

Oh girl, no…

Kendra seems to be confused about how a music video actually works.

“I’m supposed to be singing? Like for real?” she asks.

The answer to that question is always gonna be NO, Kendra. You should NEVER be singing. EVER!

#KillingIt
#KillingIt

Kendra starts to act like the music superstar that she is…not. She doesn’t like the green onesie she is supposed to wear for her alien costume.

The producer goes out to tell the director that Kendra is having issues but the director doesn’t care. He actually says he would rather work with just the robot and not Kendra anyway. This director is probably our favorite person to ever appear on this show.

Kendra is actually worried that the alien costume will make her look “like a joke.”

UM!?!

This whole song is a joke, Kendra. In fact, this whole show is a joke! Come on!

Kendra comes out looking like Kermit the Frog. They suspend her in the air and she flails around and finishes this horrible music video.

"Do you guys need anything? Some water, something to eat...a U-Haul?"
“Do you guys need anything? Some water, something to eat…a U-Haul?”

Back at the house, GrandDude and Amy are wearing out their welcome (and most likely all the shot glasses in the house). Hank is ready for them to get out and get their own house.

Before they can do that, however, it’s time to discuss the feud between GrandDude and Kendra’s brother Colin. As we know, GrandDude took off and left Kendra and Colin when he divorced their mother, Parti Patti. While Kendra was able to forgive and forget, Colin was not. Kendra has wanted them to meet to work it out, but Colin has refused in the past.

Kendra calls and invites Colin to a softball game she is hosting. She assures him that GrandDude will not be there because he is going to Florida with his sobriety-challenged new wife, Amy.

Hmmm…Anyone else think that something fishy is about to happen?

"If only I could just tell my dad not to come..."
“If only I could just tell my dad not to come…”

The next day, Kendra and her friend Jessica are driving to the game with Little Hank and Alijah trapped in the backseat. Kendra is, of course, ignoring the children and bragging about how she made that horrible music video “her own.”

Of course you did, girl…no one else would have wanted it!

“I just hope they put the video together better than I imagined,” she says as they arrive at the softball game.

Colin is there, and Kendra says she’s “trying her hardest” to keep Colin and GrandDude from running into each other. Mmmm-hmmm

“That’s the last thing I want,” she says.

Sure, Kendra. We all know how you just hate manufactured drama.

"My feuding father and brother together in the same place. This...is..a..disaster!"
“My feuding father and brother together in the same place with cameras rolling. This…is..a..disaster!”

Everything is going well at the softball game. Later, they are waiting out a rain delay when Kendra gets a text. You’ll NEVER guess who it is! Surprise, surprise, it’s GrandDude and he says he is on his way to the softball field. Kendra pretends to scramble to “avoid” the uncomfortable situation.

Um..why not just tell your dad not to come? He can crack open a couple dozen beers and wait at home for you.

“I really don’t want my brother to think that I’m trying to set him up into running into our dad. I would never do that,” Kendra says.

Mmmm-hmmmmm….

When you realize you got set up by your sister for ratings...
When you realize you got set up by your sister for ratings…

Kendra approaches Colin and asks if he would be willing to meet with GrandDude. He says no and bails. Poor Colin. GrandDude arrives and Kendra tells him that Colin left because of him.

“You just missed him by a hair,” Kendra tells GrandDude.

The next day, Kendra is chillin’ at home with GrandDude when the doorbell rings. Surprise! It’s Girls Next Door Bridget and her fiancé. Bridget brought Kendra a digital photo album of all of her favorite photos from their time at the Mansion because apparently Kendra destroyed all of her photos from that time because they had that evil biotch, Holly, in them.

Kendra takes Bridget in to meet Little Hank.

"'Member when we used to have to bone the old guy in order to get on TV?!"
“‘Member when we used to have to bone the old guy in order to get on TV?!”

“We used to live together,” she tells the little boy. Luckily, she leaves out the fact that they also lived and took turns sleeping with an 80-year-old man during that same time.

Kendra and Bridget seem to be rekindling their friendship. They make plans to go to lunch in the future.

"Next time one of your Playmate friends pays a visit, you're gonna need to let your dear ol' dad know..."
“Next time one of your Playmate friends pays a visit, you’re gonna need to let your dear ol’ dad know…”

Later, GrandDude sits Kendra down and talks to her about the rift in the family. GrandDude basically says that even though he hates Parti Patti he hopes that Kendra is able to reconcile with her. Kendra says she’s open to making up with Patti in the future.

It’s time to stick a fork in this crapsteak of a season. It’s done.

“I don’t know what my future holds but with my family and my friends supporting me, I can’t go wrong,” Kendra says.

Until next season, of course….

To read our recap of the previous episode of ‘Kendra On Top,’ click here!

(Photos: WEtv)

9 Comments

  1. Well Colin at least she didn’t make you pretend to have an affair with a transsexual like poor ol Hank. Looks like he got off easy. And considering how close Colin is to Patty I don’t see him ever talking to that a-hole ever.


  2. The Ashley, I’m curious- Have you read Holly’s book? In my opinion, it was fantastic and I think you should if you haven’t!

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