‘Counting On’ Season 2 Episode 1 Recap: Starting a Courtship & Slumming it for Jesus

"Did someone say more babies!?"
“Did someone say more babies!?”

It’s been a while since we’ve taken a stroll into Duggarland, and luckily, TLC is giving us a full new season of the family’s reality show, 19 Kids and Counting er…. Jill & Jessa: Counting On er…. Counting On. Grab your fertility tests and your denim skirt, because the Duggars are back, biotches!

The new season kicks off at Jessa and Ben‘s house, where Jessa is telling us how much she loves her son, The Spurge.

“I can’t even explain it really,” Jessa says.

Well, if you do decide to explain it, be sure to use small words because Ben’s looking awfully confused. To be fair, he’s at the same reading comprehension level as The Spurge, so it’s understandable.

When you tell people you're baby-proofing your house to protect your kid but it's really to keep your husband from maiming himself...
When you tell people you’re baby-proofing your house to protect your kid but it’s really to keep your husband from maiming himself…

Jessa and Ben are always desperate to get their mitts on new kids, so they agree to babysit for their friends. To prepare, Jessa decides to baby-proof their house because she don’t want The Spurge or their friends’ kids to electrocute themselves or something. (And, let’s be honest, it’s probably not safe to have Ben around uncovered outlets, either.)

"Phew, I dodged a bullet there!"
“Phew, I dodged a bullet there!”

Meanwhile, Jill and Derick are still in Central America, saving heathens and battling scorpions.

Jessa describes what her sister’s life is like down in the jungle, and you can see her gloating just a little, and thanking the Good Lord (and Daddy Jim Bob) that she wasn’t the one chosen to marry “missionary” Derick. Queen Jessa isn’t exactly the type who enjoys roughing it.

Jessa says that it’s cool that she and Jill are both newly married and mothers to baby boys, but admits it sucks that she can’t enjoy it because Jill lives so far away. (Not to mention, with Jill in Zika territory, all of the baby-making has been left up to Jessa, basically.)

Jessa is showing off her stellar parenting knowledge...
Jessa is showing off her stellar parenting knowledge…

Jessa recruits Anna and Jinger to come over to baby-proof her house. (Ben, of course, isn’t allowed to use sharp objects so he won’t be much help.) They want to get rid of anything that’s dangerous or unhealthy to have around kids.

Hey, guys. You might wanna start by covering up that creepy drawn portrait of yourselves on your wall. That could scare the BeJesus out of any kid.

Over in the jungle, Derick (and his new man-bun) is talking about all the disgusting things they live alongside– tarantulas, bugs, scorpions, etc. (Hey, Jill is used to living with disgusting things! After all, she lived in a house with Josh Duggar for years!)

"I'm having a great time down here...honest."
“I’m having a great time down here…honest.”

Jill tells us that she has basically become a shut-in now that Israel is older. She says she’s too scared to leave her home because she will probably be kidnapped and held for ransom by the various street heathens floating around her part of the jungle. She’s especially worried about her “gringo” son sticking out in the crowd.

Unfortunately for our favorite missionaries, life in the jungle isn’t much fun. They have gone days without power or water. (This may be why Derick has looked like a Yeti in recent photos.) They are basically forced to live in a dark, damp hut with dirty dishes and smelly diapers all over the place. Good times! #SlummingItForJesus

Meanwhile in Arkansas, Anna and her litter, along with Jinger, are heading to Jessa’s house to baby-proof things.

"Josh is all better now...yeah, that's it...life is great!"
“Josh is all better now…yeah, that’s it…life is great!”

Speaking of Anna, she’s once again got that glazed-over look in her eye that’s typical of the married Duggar gals. She tells us that “Joshua” is now out of rehab and that she has a “lot of hope” that she can forget and forgive him for cheating on her/making her look like a fool/touching his sisters inappropriately/etc.

“It brings a lot of joy,” Anna says of seeing Josh keep his grubby mitts to himself finally. “It helps heal the pain that we’ve walked through.”

But, enough about Anna–it’s time to baby-proof Jessa’s house!

Anna releases her son Marcus to go get into things. He opens one of Jessa’s dresser drawers and we see that they have blurred out something that looks like Jessa’s unmentionables! The horror!

"I'm starting to get the feeling that you only matter in this family if you're courting or shooting babies from your loins on the regular."
“I’m starting to get the feeling that you only matter in this family if you’re courting or shooting babies from your loins on the regular.”

Back on the Duggar compound, Josiah is practicing for his commercial drivers license test. John David is attempting to teach him to drive big equipment. Of course, no one really cares about John David and Josiah, unless it’s to find out if they are courting anyone. Naturally, this is the first question the guys are asked. Both reveal they are not currently courting anyone so…we don’t really care about them. Why would we want to watch them drive trucks when we can go watch Jessa & Co. go shopping!?

Jessa and the gang head to the hardware store to go buy supplies to keep the kids/Ben from permanently injuring/maiming themselves. Jinger tells us that she is happy to be along on the shopping trip because it will prepare her for when she has a “whole houseful of kids” someday. Sigh.

"Is it too late to just call Jana and make her do all of this for us?"
“Is it too late to just call Jana and make her do all of this for us?”

The girls bring all the baby-proofing crap back to Jessa’s house. There are kids crawling around everywhere, and the girls are having trouble getting everything installed before their friends’ kids arrive.

Also…why the hell are they putting all of these baby-proofing gadgets around the house before they babysit? These kids are about five! Jess, we all know you’re doing this for Ben’s sake, let’s just be honest here…

Once the chores are done, Jinger and Anna leave and Jessa throws some sort of “Helper” on the stove for the kids to eat. The family arrives and the kids seems scared to death to be left with Jessa and Ben. (Who can blame them!?)

One of the kids (Ethics? Entity? Eternity? I have no idea what the hell they named this poor kid) is giving Ben some attitude but things seem to go decently well. Ben is stumped by all the baby-proofing apparatuses in the house. It’s hard for him, y’all!

When the babies can figure out how to open the baby-proofed cabinets but you still can't...
When the babies can figure out how to open the baby-proofed cabinets but you still can’t…

Jessa tells us that she and Ben are still planning to adopt a kid, but they aren’t able to do it until The Spurge is at least nine months old.

Next, the producers corner all the older kids to get the scoop on Jinger. They want to know if she’s in love, and Jessa and the gang all confirm that something is definitely up with Jinger. She tells the producers that she isn’t officially courting anyone, but that her “friend” Jeremy is coming to visit her from Texas.

Jinger is getting all tingly in the loins just thinking about Jeremy. Apparently, he was good friends with Ben and Jessa, which is how he met with Jinger. They hung out on a mission trip and everyone could see their chemistry.

"I'd like to eventually turn your daughter into a baby machine, if that's OK with you?"
“I’d like to eventually turn your daughter into a baby machine, if that’s OK with you?”

Jim Bob picks up Jeremy at the airport and they chat about Jeremy getting dibs on Jinger. All the siblings say that Jinger is head-over-heels for Jeremy, and apparently the feelings are mutual. Jeremy asks ol’ Jim Bob if it’s OK to court Jinger. Jim Bob gives him the OK to have Jinger.

Finally, Jim Bob brings Jeremy home and after a lot of awkward side hugs, he finally gets to see his girl. Jeremy asks her if she’d like to chat and Jinger obviously knows what’s about to happen. He finally spits it out and asks her to court and Jinger looks like she can’t wait to jump on him in the special way reserved for married couples…and heathens.

"No more babysitting and making tater tot casserole?! I'm in!"
“No more babysitting and making tater tot casserole?! I’m in!”

They declare their love for each other and then go back inside to announce to the family that they are courting.

Jeremy gets to do his first couch interview, and they tell us they want to get hitched as soon as possible.

But…all the hitching will have to wait because the episode ends there!

Until next week!

To read some of The Ashley’s other reality TV recaps, click here!

(Photos: TLC)

 

43 Comments

  1. The girls all seem to be in such a hurry to get married and have babies, while the young men don’t seem to be at all. I wonder if it’s based on a belief that women after a certain age have a harder time finding a husband. I hope not. Maybe the ladies just want to run away. Lol


  2. There is hope for Jinger to live an unsheltered life. Alyssa Bates is now more mainstream since she got married and moved away from her family. She even wears pants. I hope Jinger chooses to do the same and Jeremy has an open mind. I hope she realizes that once she marries and moves to Texas, she has a choice to live her life the way her and her HUSBAND decide.. Her parents no longer should control her..I’m sure she’ll keep some of her values, but I hope her children don’t grow up sheltered like she did. There is a great world out there and so much to accomplish.. it would be sad if she didn’t allow them opportunities that she wasn’t allowed to have.


  3. Are you people seriously hating on Ashley’s recap?!!! It’s hilarious and oh soo true if you watch the actual episodes.. I like watching the show too, but come on. They all talk and live in lala land.. Ben is dumb as rocks and that’s why Jessa married him because she is the BOSS in that house. Jill and Derrick are irresponsible parents for bringing their newborn child to an impoverished country when it wasn’t absolutely necessary. They made that choice, no one forced them. I’m sure God would’ve been ok if they waited till they were all older to do missionary work. Anna is totally brainwashed and doesn’t realize that she has self worth. She doesn’t have to stay with Josh or forgive him. That’s bullshit!!!!! As for Jinger, good for her for finding a guy who at least had somewhat of an unsheltered life, so maybe that can rub off on her. You can be a good person and not be a BORN AGAIN CHRISTIAN!


  4. I’m so happy for Ginger and Jeremy for their commitment to each other and to their up coming marriage. I’m hoping that Jeremy will decide to move closer to Jingers family for the sake of her younger brothers and sisters especially Jess beings their best friends…


  5. WELCOME to The Ashley, folks! Where satire and sarcasm runs rampant and the snark-casm is thick.

    WARNING: trigger warnings for those with no humor.
    FUNNY, but the same rabid fans of this family that say “if you don’t like them, stop watching!” come onto this site, read the recaps, just to comment all that. MAYBEEE take your own advice?! Since you all LOVE to throw in “I’m Saved & Forgiven through Christ our Lord” & whatnot. That’s great, that’s YOUR life. Don’t read a snark site if you don’t like the content? I bet The Ashley wouldn’t give a d*mn if this family ACTUALLY were following their Christian (*cough* Quiverfull) beliefs & not because they need more $ to fund their lifestyles & 367 more weddings with this show.

    I’ve watched this family since the beginning till Jill’s wedding. They banned reading “worldly” magazines, yet don’t mind being on People mag covers for $ for baby announcements, marriage, or “Life after the Scandal!” crap. They believed that “keeping sweet, your morals, and relationship w God” is what matters, NOT looks aka Vanity. Well they’ve all been looking like mascara raccoons for yrs now. Hell, they don’t even admit they are Quiverfull Christians & are connected to Bill Gothard & his whole sh*t show. Why so secretive?

    Btw, I don’t go around preaching that I’m a follower of Christ & I KNOW my 5436 faults. A big fault was watching this show, idolizing this family, & creating revenue for this family for so many yrs. Amen.


  6. Jill, your difficult life was one of your own choosing. Derrick had a real job and you had a real cushy setup in a McMansion your daddy owned and you two together decided gritting for money and taking your infant to central America was a brilliant idea. I feel like this episode was designed to show poor martyr Jill, so when they don’t return to CA after this current “break” nobody will call them out on how little they’ve accomplished.


  7. I think your article on the Duggar is disgusting. I happen to be a born again Christian and am proud to be. I ENJOY THE Duggar show and hate all the bad things you say about them. THEY are not perfect just forgiven but you wouldn’t know about this JOSH did

    wrong and should pay for his actions. Are you so perfect yourself, may my Godjudge you for this article.Hop you find Jesus for he is your answer. ELWANDA Peters


    1. Quit whining and coming here to read the articles then! No one cares if you comment or not so go onto a Duggar Webpage and kiss their asses for awhile. Pervs are pervs no matter what you dress them up like and what fake rehab you send them to, no sympathy for Josh Duggar.


    2. I absolutely loathe the “you’re not perfect either” responses people give when someone judges the actions of another. Just stop with that idiotic nonsense, you’re making Jesus cry. No one has ever said any human is perfect, in fact, it’s not even humanly possible. All humans judge other humans, in fact that is the very way we, humans, judge what to do and what not to do, and how to deal with people when they do things that are wrong. Judging, and being judged, are both very human things, and to pretend you don’t do them is just asinine.
      God is going to judge you for judging too, just so you know. Jesus doesn’t like you using his name to patronize other people, it makes you look and sound weak when you try to “say something in his name”, it’s blasphemy, at best. You might want to read your bible a bit more.
      The Duggars deserve to be judged, they are disgusting people. ANYONE that supports a pedophile, is a disgusting person, and doesn’t deserve any of the gifts life can, and does, bring. God doesn’t like pedophiles either. If you believe in god, you believe we have free will and you believe that he gave that to us so that we could develop the knowledge of right from wrong and what to do with that knowledge. So you must also believe we have that knowledge for good reason. We also have knowledge to create laws that protect our own most innocent…children. Pedophiles break innocence, they steal it, they maim it..they murder it. Pedophiles are, in fact, murderers, and we have laws against such things for a reason.
      You may believe that god forgives sins, but in order for him to do that, we must first actually be sorry for committing them. The Duggars are not sorry for their sins, protecting criminals is as much of a sin as covering up a crime, and committing a crime. They have not repented, they are not sorry, they do not believe they did wrong. That goes against every christian teaching out there, regardless of one’s chosen sub-denomination. They are sinners of the worst kind…the kind that can’t admit they are sinners.
      Believe whatever you want to believe, but if you’re going to preach it, you damn well better know what you’re preaching, and who you’re preaching it to.
      I think people that forgive and protect PEDOPHILES are scum, and belong in jail…whether or not the law agrees with me. I’m pretty sure god’s on my side there 😉


  8. This is one of the funniest reviews I’ve read in a while. The reviewer acts like he / she doesn’t like the show, but knows way too much back story to not be a fan. Very entertaining read.


  9. Man you people are all so judgemental, and negative with your comments!!! As if your lives are perfect who made you all God and casting stones??!!!!? Your all the sick, twisted ones!!! Get a life people judge your own lives, seriously!!!


  10. You are so rude Ashley!!! I am not a fan of your condescending, cheerleader-style bullying!!! Need to find a new career this is not your calling lady!!!


    1. Yet you came here to read her articles..hmm….Talk to a counselor this is upsetting you way too much. Love The Ashley! Keep the hilarious satire coming! xoxoxoxo


  11. Am I the only one that remembers medical experts advising against having babies for a couple years after being in a part of the world infested with the Azika virus? I guess if you don’t want your man to stray you put out regardless of the possible medical deformities a child may suffer.


  12. They will never adopt. The religion they follow (Gothardism) frowns on adoption, due to sinful ways of the natural parents having a chance to be passed along to the child. Crazy. Also, a brand new house was built for Jill and Derick in El Salvador, using donated money that should have gone to actual missionary work. I don’t know of a single thing the Dillard’s did over there except try to convert Catholics to their religion. They certainly didn’t build anything, contribute anything worthwhile or relieve any suffering. As far as I know, they have not been transparent about where all of their donations were used, either. I’d imagine flying back and forth several times to Arkansas during their nine month “mission” ate into a big chunk of the donation money, as well.


      1. SOS ministries had a brand new house built for Jill and Derick. They also weren’t there as true missionaries, but as paid members of that ministry. Their goal is to convert Catholics to their religion.


    1. They live in a 2 bedroom apartment, which you would know if you got your info from anywhere other than tabloids and hater pages


  13. This is very disrespectful and demeaning. I am saddened that the author of this article wants behave this way. The Duggers are not perfect nor am I but by the Grace of God I am redeemed by the precious Blood of Jesus Christ. That is our hope and I do appreciate Counting On and their hope in the one true God of the Bible and their desire to show the world their need of a Savior.


    1. I’m saddened that you’d come here merely to read something you don’t like in the first place.
      You’re making god weep.
      Poor god.


  14. These people are train wrecks that somehow interest me. Thanks for writing great recaps! I enjoy their insanity without giving their tv show ratings.


      1. You think pedophiles and their protectors are CLEAN?
        Dear lord…I take it back, don’t meet the kettle, you will corrupt the kettle!!


  15. Is it just me or did anyone notice the insane amount of dust in Jessa’s house? It was like she hadn’t cleaned in a very long time. 🙁 Kind of gross if your house is being filmed!


  16. I was under the assumption that part of the “counting on” deal was that Jim Boob/Michelle/Josh would not be on this new show? 19 kids ceased because of the parental duggars abominable parenting and Josh’s lack of scruples?

    So TLC issued one dry and boring season to placate the naysayers, then pulled a bait and switch?

  17. Jenelle's love of her life, wait no fiancé, wait no babydaddy, wait no ex, wait no guy she calls the cops on, wait no enemy! says:

    They will never adopt the phrase that has become a broken record in this family had been “we are going to adopt” then surprise we are pregnant again. Do you really think and adoption agency is going to hand of a child to Ben and Jessa with no real jobs, a tiny house, and a child molesting brother? They also say too that they would love to adopt a child from a poverty stricken country HA I doubt that. If they ever do adopt which is unlikely that they will actually adopt a Latino or and African child or even an African American child? Hell no!


  18. I think Jinger looks truly happy. I look forward to seeing what the future holds for her. I hope that she really does move to Texas and that the Duggar parents do not talk Jeremy into ever moving to Arkansas. I think there is hope for Jinger to find a little more freedom and happiness.

    It’s strange though, the girls are one by one finding a mate and getting married. But the boys seem to be stuck and going nowhere. Perhaps Jimbob’s needs them at home too much to let them have more of a life of their own? Or, is he afraid they will follow Josh’s footsteps and become “addicted” to sex/ porn?


    1. I think the boys have a lot more autonomy and maybe feel less like they “have” to escape. Josh, JD and Josiah (maybe? Whomever the one that works with JD is) all work/have worked outside of the home, supposedly JD owns his own house… Why get married and get saddled with a wife who can’t work and pop out a million mouths to feed?
      Whereas the girls are stuck in the house with no education or work prospects outside of raising their parents kids.


    1. I have a strong hope that she’ll end up with 4-6 kids in a religious private school where the uniform allows girls to wear modest sweatpants for gym class, you know?

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