It’s time for another episode of Marriage Boot Camp: Family Edition and, this week, Farrah’s mother Debra makes her grand return to the Mansion!
As you may recall, Deb packed her pleather pants and left Farrah and her ex-husband Michael behind for the weekend because she thought her doctor boyfriend might propose. Deb was willing to risk angering her family members (and getting a piece of her ‘Boot Camp’ paycheck sliced out) in order to get a rock on her glitter-manicured hand!
We start off with an early morning gathering of the trainwrecks. Paula is, of course, pouring herself a drink to help her get through yet another day with her fellow lunatics. Meanwhile, Kendra is confronting her mom Patti about Patti’s plans to write a tell-all book about Kendra.
A tell-all book? This chick puts basically every moment of her life on camera via some horrible reality TV. What more could there be to tell!?
Anyway, Patti admits she’s considering writing a book. Kendra is doing her best to talk her mother out of writing the tell-all. As any reality TV star worth their weight in Botox knows, details of a person’s life should never be shared in a book; they should be put on reality TV so you can at least get a paycheck for being ridiculous and/or trashy!
Like Kendra, Farrah is unhappy with her mom too. She is going around telling other cast mates (or, at least the ones who are conscious) that if she finds out that Deb is engaged, she’s “out of her life.”
Just then, Deb bursts through the door wearing a leather fringed jacket and looking like a long-lost member of Fleetwood Mac.
Farrah is not the only one ready to pounce on Deb. Kendra decides to scream at Debra too.
“You left! You abandoned your daughter, dude!” Kendra yells at Debra.
“We went through DRILLS!” Michael screams. “You weren’t here!”
Surely, Deb can never make up for missing that ridiculous escape room game. It will haunt her for the rest of her life, of course.
Michael stands up out of nowhere and starts yelling at his ex-wife.
“I am not your f**king mat anymore,” he yells at Deb.
Everyone applauds Michael for finally growing a pair of balls. I guess he doesn’t need those plastic ones the doctors gave him a while back. I think that’s nice.
Debra tells some of the Campers that she is engaged but that she’s not going to break the news to Farrah just yet because, well…they need to hide all of the breakables in the Mansion before anyone is allowed to deliver big news to Farrah.
Eventually, Farrah finds out about Deb’s engagement, though, and tells Debra to get her stuff and get out.
Debra goes out to talk to Farrah about what happened. For some reason, Deb felt the need to get all dressed up like she’s a hostess at Benihana’s to have this conversation. Debra (sort of) apologizes to Farrah for leaving her, but Farrah’s not having it. She tells Deb that she is psycho, super-twisted, and manipulative.
You know things are weird when Farrah is calling someone psycho.
Farrah also tells Debra that if she wants respect, she has to give her something to respect.
In an interview, Farrah tells her mom, “You’re not my f**king mom. You’re a f**king stranger off the street as far as I’m concerned!”
She also tells Debra that she is no longer allowed to be a part of her life.
The doctors, who have probably just been sitting in the control room watching all of this go down while occasionally laughing and pointing, decide they should go out and at least try to earn their paycheck. They call all of the families together to announce that it’s time for yet another stupid group activity.
In their activity, the families have to reflect on their own personality traits and analyze if those traits came from other family members.
Kendra and Patti say they both are unemotional and untrusting. Debra and Farrah say they’re aggressive. Michael says he’s insecure. Chad and Paula say they’re aggressive and stubborn. Mike says he’s an addict. Marc is aggressive (obviously). All of the traits are written on ties.
After the families pick the ties with their traits on them, they then must tie the tie around their leg. Then, they have to tie their ties together and stay like that all day. It’s basically like the creepiest, longest three-legged race ever.
While everyone else is going about their day, the doctors sit the Abraham family down to talk about Debra’s departure. Farrah says she no longer wants Debra in her life. Debra tries to throw the blame over to Michael for divorcing her, which is really impressive, considering Michael really had nothing to do with Deb high-tailing it to Dr. Diamond Ring.
Now that Michael has his balls back, though (also…ew…) he’s done taking crap from Debra. As per usual, the doctors and the Abraham resolve nothing, and everyone just screams at each other.
In another part of the house, Patti and Kendra are trying to work out their issues. Kendra seems willing to try to get along with Patti (at least enough so that Patti will agree to appear on yet another season of Kendra On Top.)
The group is called back together and the doctors announce that they have invited special guests into the Casa de Trainwreck!
The first guest is Chad’s young son. The kid does a monologue where he pretends to be a young Chad. It’s weird, but not as weird as when they get some little girl to pretend to be a young Paula. The performance brings Paula to tears. (Well, it was either tears or she was literally just sweating out alcohol at this point.)
A child actor comes in and portrays every person in the room. All the adults are very moved and touched by the activity…except Debra. She says the little girl playing her is “off” and “maybe only like 10 percent right.” (Perhaps the girl was wearing too much clothing?)
Even Macho Marc breaks down in tears over his Mini-Me’s performance and must leave the room.
Kendra tells Patti that she started running away as a young child because she felt so unloved. Patti is very upset.
“I thought I smothered her with love!” Patti protests.
The mother and daughter sit down to try to work out some of their issues.
Now there is only one episode left before the season finale and it’s the lie-detector test day! It’s also the day “someone crosses the line that has never been crossed.”
Other than committing homicide on-camera, what could someone possibly do on this show that hasn’t been done before? Farrah and her parents are sleeping in a room full of Farrah sex dolls for goodness sakes!
We don’t know who it is that “crosses the line,” but the preview for next week’s episode shows Farrah, Paula and Kendra all screaming and cursing at each other. So…basically, it will be business as usual over that the Boot Camp Mansion.
To read our recap of the previous episode of ‘Marriage Boot Camp Reality Stars: Family Edition,’ click here!