Marriage Boot Camp Reality Stars: Family Edition is coming to an end but the drama in the Boot Camp Mansion is never-ending—especially this week! Paula and Farrah are going head-to-head (again), but this time, things between the house’s two biggest hot heads turn offensive and nearly violent!
Let’s get started!
We start out with Farrah “randomly” finding Debra’s engagement ring lying around their sex-toy-filled room. (What a coincidence! Surely there was no drama-loving producer that set that ring out there where Farrah could stumble across it!)
Since Debra hadn’t even officially told Farrah that she was engaged, things get awkward. Farrah says there is a good possibility that she will not leave ‘Boot Camp’ with Deb in her life. (Unless there’s a new reality show pitched that they can star on together, of course!)
It’s 8 a.m. and Paula is already drunk, again. (Hey, her contract said there would be unlimited alcohol, and she’s gonna milk that for all it’s worth!)
Meanwhile, Kendra is talking about how she still finds it hard to trust Patti, what with all of the story-selling, tell-all-book-writing and general awfulness that Patti has committed against Kendra in recent years.
Still, Kendra realizes that Patti is her mom, so she wants to try to improve their relationship. (Otherwise, she’s going to have to pick a big fight with her husband Hank again to have something to yell about on the next season of Kendra On Top.)
“That’s trust and it’s hard to build trust,” Kendra says. “Rome wasn’t built in a whenever…whatever the saying is.”
Oh Kendra, never change.
It’s time for the episode’s ridiculous group activity. This week, the doctors have brought in a judge who presides over family court cases. She’s here…to give them lie detectors tests!
What reputable judge would actually agree to go on this horrorfest? I’m secondhand embarrassed for her.
Let the lies begin!
(They should really up the stakes here. They should tell the Campers that every time they lie, they will lose one of their Instagram product-hawking deals or something…)
Kendra has been on so many of these horrible reality television shows that she actually recognizes the lie detector test administrator! He has given her a lie detector test before…and she failed.
You know your life is just one giant drama dumpster when you’ve taken multiple lie detector tests on national television. Remember, if you ever find yourself strapped to a lie-detector test on the set of a reality TV show, you may want to reevaluate your life choices.
The judge goes around and asks the participants what question that they want him to ask their family members, and then they get down to business.
During his turn being strapped to the machine, Michael is twitching and the doctors think he may be trying to cheat the test. (To be fair, this dude has lived his whole life dealing with Farrah and Debra pulling him around by the testicles. Who wouldn’t be twitching at this point?!)
Meanwhile, Paula sits down with a drink in her hand to take her test. Her use of assorted mind-altering substances comes into question. She says she’s not a drug addict, but that she does “like a good joint.”
She also professes her love for vodka, naturally.
Kendra is asked if she is attempting to repair her relationship with her mother only to be on television. (Um…they really need a lie-detector test to answer that question? Really?)
Farrah is asked if she hates her mother. (Of course, she gets in a spat with the lie-detector guy during her test.)
Maximo is asked if he would choose fame over family.
Paula is asked if she left Chad because of a substance abuse problem.
Patti is asked if she approves of Hank as Kendra’s husband.
Chad is asked if he’s ever betrayed anyone’s trust. “Yeah every woman I’ve ever dated,” he answers. (Hey, at least the kid is honest!)
Debra is asked if she ever physically abused Farrah.
Mike is asked if he’s been clean from drugs and alcohol for a year.
Chad is asked if he blames his mother for the loss of his NFL career.
Marc is asked if he feels resentful to Mike about his current legal situation.
We are not able to hear any of their answers, which supposedly adds to the fun…or something.
While some people are taking their lie detector tests, the other people are supposed to be writing New Year’s Resolutions. Naturally, though, the resolutions aren’t for themselves but for their family members.
Paula “ain’t got time” to write up stupid resolutions, however. She’s too busy slugging back drinks and ranting about everything from her son’s frequent spermination of females, to how useless the therapists are.
While most people would see Paula in this state and back slowly out of the room, Farrah decides this is the best time to tell Paula everything that she doesn’t like about her.
As you do…
Farrah starts sniping at Paula, and Paula tries to warn Farrah to shut her “puffy face.” (Score one point for Paula!)
Naturally, though, Farrah does not heed Paula’s warning to stay out of her business.
“Here go this little b**ch again,” Paula says of Farrah. “I would f**k you up!”
Paula starts to leave the room, in an attempt to keep herself from lunging at Farrah and ripping her plastic lips off of her face. Farrah taunts her though, screaming, “Walk away! Go ahead and walk away!”
That makes Paula come back angry as hell, charging back into the room in a crazed rage. (She even spilled her drink a bit, so you know Paula is mad!)
She dares Farrah to come over to her and do something other than yip like a PMS-ing chihuahua at her.
“Rise!” Paula screams. “I dare you to rise.”
Wait…we waited a whole damn season to hear Kendra scream “RISE UP! RISE UP!” again and Paula steals her line at the end of the season? WTF?
Paula calls Farrah “trailer park trash” and asks Farrah if she even graduated high school.
“Yeah, early!” Farrah exclaims. “Then I went through college and I didn’t have to leave my kid like you did.”
But…that’s not technically true, you know, Farrah. You did leave your kid!
Farrah and Paula are not done unleashing their anger on each other. Farrah puts on her best “Backdoor Teen Mom” face and basically threatens fornication with Chad in order to piss off Paula. (Again, as you do…)
“When I go f**k your son, I’ll send you a picture!” Farrah screams.
Maximo says he’s afraid someone is about to go out either in a stretcher or in handcuffs.
Paula is in Farrah’s face and Michael steps in to stop it. Farrah manages to throw a jacket at Paula and picks up a dish to hurl at her, but Michael and a security man stop Farrah before she can throw the plate at Paula.
Since she can’t chuck dinnerware at Paula, Farrah decides to start screaming racist comments at her.
Farrah is being held back, but screams that Paula is “a disgusting black piece of s**t!”
Everyone’s mouth just drops open, and you can see that Michael is already trying to come up with something to tweet in order to explain away Farrah’s blatant racism. (#HerElectrolytesWereLow #TheLightingWasBadAndMadeHerConfused)
(Click here to watch the entire scene!)
Farrah’s racist remarks piss Kendra off big-time.
“This racist b**ch,” Kendra, who is married to a black man and has biracial kids, says of Farrah. “She didn’t just offend Paula. She offended my husband and my kids and me.”
On her way out of the room,Paula storms by Debra and brushes Deb on her pleather-clad shoulder as she passes her.
“Hey! You don’t have to physically hit ME!” she yelps.
Debra continues to act like Paula beat her over the head with a 2×4 or something. She demands that the police are called on Paula, and is soon claiming that Paula “punched” her. Um…is that lie-detector guy still around?
The therapists decide that Paula should stay at a hotel for a night. Kendra is steaming mad, though, and says that she is leaving Boot Camp if Farrah is permitted to stay.
“I will not be in the same room as a person who discriminates and judges people on their skin color. I do not accept it and that is what is wrong with the world and this is what’s wrong with our country,” she says.
The doctors plead with Kendra to not let Farrah “derail her journey.”
Since she’s done fighting with Paula, Farrah decides to go outside and see who else she can terrorize. She finds Debra, who is talking about how they are “the anointed ones.”
Farrah picks a fight with Deb, insisting that Debra she should have asked her for permission to get engaged. She also says that Deb’s new fiancé is a con artist.
We will have to wait until next week—which is the season finale—to see how this explosive fight ends! To see how the cast reacted on Twitter while this episode was airing, click here!
To read our recap of the previous episode of ‘Marriage Boot Camp Reality Stars: Family Edition,’ click here!