RISE UP! RISE UP! It’s time for another episode of Kendra On Top!
Not much has changed since we left these rejects last week. Kendra is still trying to improve her relationship with her mother, Patti, who is secretly meeting with a publisher about the possibility of writing a tell-all book about Kendra.
Patti is being swayed by the dollar signs and is thinking about selling her relationship with her daughter to the devil. However, Kendra “has no idea” that Patti is still considering blabbing her secrets. After all, they appeared on Marriage Boot Camp: Family Edition together and now their relationship is improving…or so Kendra thinks, anyway…
Kendra is talking to her manager about how much better she is getting along with Patti these days. She’s also talking to her manager about the play she’s considering accepting a role in. It’s called “Sex Tips for Straight Women from Gay Men” and, yeah, it’s probably just as terrible as it sounds.
Kendra is confused as to why they want her for the part.
“Aren’t there people who are, like, actors?” she asks. “People who went to drama and in high school, what is that thing? Thespian Club? I walked in and out of Thespian Club.”
Oh, Kendra, you’re not giving yourself enough credit. You didn’t need “Thespian Club.” You’ve been acting on horrific reality TV shows for years! You’re a pro! Plus, you acted like you were attracted to an 80-plus-year-old man with several other girlfriends! You’ve got this!
Kendra goes home to tell Hank about her potential new project. Hank isn’t too thrilled because the project will require Kendra to perform in Las Vegas. He knows she acts like a frat boy on bath salts when she gets to Vegas.
Meanwhile, Patti is talking to Kendra’s brother, Colin, about the book. Colin is still not supportive of Patti writing a tell-all about his sister.
“I wouldn’t go there,” he said. “The cons heavily out way the pros.”
He says this could destroy Patti’s relationship with Kendra for good, and that she should at least talk to Kendra about it before she decides to write the book. Surprisingly, Patti takes her son’s advice. She decides to talk to Kendra.
They meet a restaurant and Kendra tells Patti about the sex show. Kendra says she’s going to New York with Jessica to meet with producers of the show and Patti expresses her dismay. Patti says she thinks Jessica is a “yes person” who just tells Kendra what she wants to hear.
“I don’t like people who kiss someone’s ass,” Patti tells us. “Unfortunately, I think Jessica is one of those people.”
Um…because you’ve been such a stellar confidant for your daughter, right, Patti?
Patti offers to come up and help Hank with the kids while Kendra is in Vegas. Of course, Hank hates Patti and basically thinks of her as the Wicked Witch of the West. (She’s certainly got the cackle for it, among other things…)
“Hank thinks that my mom is out to sell me out and exploit me,” Kendra says.
Hmm…maybe Hank isn’t as stupid as we thought?
Patti realizes Hank isn’t going to forgive her so easily so she then chickens out and decides not to discuss the book deal with Kendra. Good thinking, Patti. It’s better to surprise your daughter with something like that anyway!
While Jessica and Kendra are in New York, Patti is back at her house talking crap on Jessica to Colin. Patti says she thinks Jessica was a “big instigator” in the rift between her and Kendra. (Um..it couldn’t have been Patti selling stories about Kendra to the tabloids, or Patti talking smack about her daughter on Facebook and Twitter, right?)
“She was snooping on my Facebook and making up stories about things I was saying,” Patti says of Jessica.
Colin tells Patti she needs to talk to both Jessica and Kendra.
While Kendra is in NYC, Patti squeezes into her black pleather strapped mini dress (straight from the Debra Danielsen “Young at Heart” collection) and puts on her best blue frosty eyeshadow, and hits the bar with her 20-something-year-old friends.
Patti says she’s lucky that these young girls want to hang out with her. Calm down, Patti. They’re just here to get on camera so that they can put it on their resume when they apply for “Are You The One?”
Patti and her hanger-on friends are cackling about how much money Patti would make from writing a tell-all book.
Meanwhile, Kendra is still contemplating whether or not to do the sex show.
“If I do this show, I’m gonna be kissing another guy. Ew. I hate kissing. I don’t like slobber in my mouth,” she says.
Yes, Kendra that is the biggest downside of doing this play. It’s certainly not the fact that you would need to leave your small children six days a week for 14 weeks.
Kendra goes home and finds Hank playing video games because…well, what else would he be doing with his time?
She breaks the news to him that she’s about to abandon him and the children for four months. First, she suggests that they all just drop everything and come with her.
“So why not? Let’s move to Vegas for four months,” Kendra tells him.
Hank doesn’t think that will work because the kids have sports and summer school and he has “work.” (Hey, those video game zombies aren’t gonna kill themselves, guys…)
Kendra says she moved for him when he was playing football, but he says it’s not the same now that the kids are older.
“Kendra needs to wake up and realize that the world just doesn’t revolve around her,” he tells us.
Ha ha ha, good one, Hank!
Hank says all the weight always falls on his shoulders and Kendra tells him to deal with it. Hank storms off (as per usual) to go pout.
Spoiler alert: Kendra is doing the sex play.
Second spoiler alert: Kendra does not care if Hank is pouting.
Next week, Kendra confronts Patti about writing the book.
To read our recap of the previous episode of ‘Kendra On Top,’ click here!