Hi-dee-ho, trash TV lovers! It’s time to gather up them Ooopsie Babies and settle down deep into your sofa (a la Amber Portwood) to watch our five heroines make more bad life decisions, go on more vacations and get into more fights with their assorted baby daddies!
And….luckily for us, MTV was there to document it all!
This is a Very Special Episode of the show because it brings
all the girls together all the girls together except Mackenzie in several scenes. (Poor Mack has been discarded from the group like Butch‘s cut-off rattail, apparently.)
We kick things off in Michigan, where Catelynn and Tyler have just returned from their blindfold-filled, spontaneous luxury vacation to Hawaii. Cate says that the trip helped them “get into a good place” (so…basically…they banged). However, Cate’s made-for-TV pal Amber is not in a good place, due to her upcoming court hearing, so Catelynn reaches out to her to check in.
Cate had intended to just toss out the ambiguous “let me know if you need anything” to Amber and then not doing anything…but Amber— forever needy— has other plans. She tells Cate that she really needs the support of her ‘Teen Mom’ cast members at her upcoming hearing. Of course, Catelynn has no problem jumping on a plane for yet another spontaneous trip, and tells Amber she’ll be there.
Tyler does not seem thrilled that he’ll be on double crotch-goblin duty while Catelynn “supports” Amber in Indiana.
Ty brings up the fact that court dates and abuse charges are old-hat for Amber, but Catelynn argues that “Amber doesn’t usually ask for help.”
Catelynn calls up Maci to see if she, too, got roped into going to this courthouse circus performance, and Maci confirms that she has.
Cheyenne has also been recruited to drop everything and sprint over to Indiana to sit in a courtroom for Amber. Cory will be watching Ryder while Cheyenne’s away. Cory has apparently turned into Dr. Spock in Cornrows since the last episode, and is schooling Cheyenne on all things parenting, and pointing out all the crap she’s doing wrong with their kid.
(Cory better watch his mouth or Chey may come back from Indiana with Amber’s “Mother Goddess” sword and start swinging!)
A few days later, Cheyenne, Catelynn and Maci have all arrived in Indiana to “support” Amber. They load up into a car and talk about how they’ve only heard one side of what the hell went down that night at Amber’s Lil’ House ‘o’ Holiday Horrors. The “side” they’ve gotten, they say, is the media’s side, not Amber’s or even Andrew’s. They say even if Amber did, in fact, try to go all “Michael Myers” on her boooooyfriend that night, she still deserves their love and support.
They roll up to a house where Amber is standing outside waiting, suitcase in hand. Amber is thrilled to see the girls, greeting them with a hug before jumping into their car.
Amber says that the situation is “killing” her but Maci reminds her that she’s way too tough for a little domestic violence abuse case to kill her. Amber says she didn’t sleep for five days after she was sprung from the clink, due to her confusion.
Amber said that Andrew had been acting weird “for quite some time” and that she had found out things through lawyers and bank statement sleuthing and whatnot which made her concerned.
The girls pump Amber to spill the details on what went down that night with Andrew, but Amber says she can’t talk about it. She does mention that her daughter Leah is really worried for her right now, though.
Cheyenne suggests that they all scream into the camera…for some reason. Amber agrees and soon they’re all shrieking like Gary if someone had dropped some Ben & Jerry’s on his beloved Lazy Boy chair.
The next day is Amber’s hearing. The entire circus train— the ‘Teen Mom’ girls, Gary and Kristina, the ‘Teen Mom’ producers and a camera crew— all head to the courthouse to “support” Amber. Andrew has also arrived at the courthouse, but he is apparently not feeling very “chatty” and ignores the cameras. He also walks right past Amber and the OG crew without even looking at them, which pisses Amber off.
The gang prays to the the Jesus God Leah that Amber will get to see James again, and then they all head into the courtroom. Unfortunately, the judge isn’t cool with MTV cameras, so we have to see what played out in there via some very creepy court drawings.
Amber tells us that the protective order forbiding her from seeing her son James has been lifted…but….she’s been issued a gag order so she is not allowed to discuss the case with anyone, including a ‘Teen Mom’ film crew! GULP!
Once inside the car, Amber says she’s surprised that Andrew had no emotion toward her.
“Narcissist!” Maci proclaims.
Later, Gary (snuggled into his trusty Lazy Boy chair) discusses the court hearing with Kristina. Gary says he’s supporting Amber only because she “doesn’t deserve everything this guy’s trying to do.” He still believes Amber is a good person, despite her fist-swinging and machete-pulling ways.
Back at Amber’s, she’s telling the girls that she can’t give men chances anymore because they always screw her over.
She says it’s been hard to go from being an every day mom to being an “every other day mom.”
Amber starts to cry because she believes everyone is looking at her “like she’s a piece of s**t.”
The next day, Producer Larry and Producer David ring up ol’ Andy to see if he would like to tell his side of The Great Machete Caper…in front of rolling MTV cameras, natch. Andrew agrees, and the guys trek over there to talk to him. We only hear the audio part of the conversation going on inside the house.
“We never, ever air just a one-sided story,” Larry says. “We just don’t.”
“It’s not my job to get her mentally stable,” Andrew says of Amber. “I can’t do it anymore.”
Big Andy makes it clear that if they want to capture this Kodak moment on their cameras, it’s gonna cost them. They then flash a message on the screen that Andrew has chosen not to share his story. (You can click here to read The Ashley’s recent interview with Andrew to get his actual side of what went down on the day that MTV came a’knockin’!)
Back in Tennessee, Taylor is hanging out with the assorted Oopsie Babies while Maci is away “helping” Amber. Jayde is trying her hand at stand-up comedy this episode.
Meanwhile, Bentley is subjected to a day of family fun on the golf course with the Edwards crew. The outing gets off to a very on-brand start when Ryan shows some jealously over the new golf gear that his parents purchased for Bentley.
After the group loads into their respective golf carts, it’s not long before Ryan is picking a fight with Bentley over the golf score and fist-bumping his wife Mackenzie along the way.
Ryan may look like a senior citizen, but he’s acting like a third grader. He’s bickering with his 11-year-old son about how many swings everyone took. Larry tries to get “the kids” to stop fighting but it’s no use. Bentley tells his grandparents that his dad is incorrectly calculating the score….and being mean in the process.
Ryan and Mackenzie seem to be enjoying Bentley’s aggravation just a little too much… especially when Bentley makes a bad shot and they both laugh at him from the comforts of their golf cart. Mimi Jen scolds Ryan for being a jerk.
Later on, Ryan and Mackenzie recap their golf outing over dinner. They both agree that it was nice
picking on spending time with Bentley, given that he usually has baseball games “out the wazoo.” Aside from spending time with Bentley, Ryan seems to have enjoyed frustrating him even more. Though in Ryan’s defense, frustrating people is kind of his specialty.
A few days later, Maci returns from her trip and Taylor wants to know how Amber is doing. He says it’s good that Maci and the others were there to support Amber as a friend and sister in teenage pregnancy fame.
Maci says as Amber’s friend, she feels helpless and calls the ordeal “a freakin’ mess.” Taylor manages to point out one positive in Amber’s life — her co-parenting situation with Gary and Kristina, noting that it would be a nice place for them to get to with Ryan and Mackenzie.
“We’re a ways away from that kind of co-parenting relationship,” he tells Maci.
“Yeah, I mean considering they have one and we don’t,” she replies. “They have a decent one at that.”
Over in Michigan, Tyler is hanging out with a random, dentally challenged friend on the porch. He tells his pal how “dope” it was that Catelynn surprised him by taking him to Maui, since he’s usually the one who has to do the romancing.
Tyler says he’s thrilled that Catelynn is doing better these days, given what a complete diarrhea stain of a life she’s had, what with the unexpected pregnancy and adoption with Carly, April‘s substance abuse problems and that whole marrying-Butch thing, and her own mental health issues.
“Cate, she don’t know how to deal with stuff,” Tyler proclaims.
He adds that, as soon as Cate is home from “helping Amber,” she plans to go down to her psychiatrist to talk about getting off some of her meds.
A few days later, Catelynn is back from “supporting Amber,” so she scurries on down to see her psychiatrist. Cate’s psychiatrist confirms with Cate that her mood is at a 10, but she fails to acknowledge her outfit, which, thanks in large part to her ’Teen Mom OG’ hoodie, is also a 10.
Cate’s psychiatrist then runs down all of the other components in Cate’s life to make sure things are good there as well, including any looming “postpartum symptoms.” Cate asks her doctor for a friendly reminder of those symptoms, aside from “being sad” and wanting to buy a truck load of therapy horses. Cate’s psychiatrist first mentions Cate’s energy level.
She goes on to mention excessive guilt as a symptom, but Cate assures her doctor that everything is going as smoothly as her side bangs.
Cate is doing so well in fact, that she asks her doctor about her medication and the possibility of one day no longer having to take it. Cate’s doctor says if she were to go off the medication, she could have withdraw symptoms but after years of counseling, she could possibly be weened off of them.
Later on, Cate tells Tyler all about her appointment and Tyler is very engaged.
Tyler says if he met Cate when she was on the wrong medication, he would’ve basically run the other way. Cate says as long as her current meds are working, she has no reason to stop taking them… she just feels the need to talk about not taking them for story line purposes.
Over in Los Angeles, Ryder is staying with Cory and Taylor while Cheyenne is in Indiana being a
contractually obligated supportive co-star. After wrangling Ryder and getting her to go to sleep, Cory tells Taylor that Ryder is getting to the age where she’s going to notice the different rules at each of her parents’ houses and he doesn’t want to “be the mean dad.”
Cory says when watching the footage
and checking himself out from the previous season, he saw how out of control Ryder was with Matt and Cheyenne and how his toddler pretty much runs the show and he feels like he should talk to Cheyenne about to get some extra screen time.
Taylor, who appears to have the personality level of a potato with a ponytail, occasionally utters “Yeah” in response to Cory’s rant.
The next day, Cheyenne is back from Indiana and is having a pool party with her family, so Cory stops by to drop off Ryder. (Chey’s sheer thong bathing suit, which she usually wears for family outdoor gatherings, must be at the cleaner’s because she’s actually fully dressed this time.)
Before leaving, Cory talks to Cheyenne about establishing a solid bedtime for Ryder and encourages her to start reading to Ryder on a regular basis. Cheyenne nods to Cory’s suggestions, which causes him to accuse her of not taking him seriously.
Cheyenne says she is taking Cory seriously; however, she feels like he just assumes she isn’t doing these things rather than asking her if she’s doing them. Cory tells Cheyenne he feels like her focus has shifted and he doesn’t know if it’s on Ryder.
“You sound f**king stupid to say that to me,” she tells him. “You sound crazy. You sound crazy and I’m not going to take it.”
Cheyenne tells Cory that Ryder comes first and that she’s basically been doing the bulk of the parenting all on her own. She goes up one side of Cory and down the other, telling him she does all of Ryder’s classes, doctor’s appointments and scheduling, and that it’s downright disrespectful for him to tell her she’s not focused on her kid.
Hold on to your machetes, folks! This could get dangerous….
At long last, we check in with poor Mackenzie. (‘Member her?) She wasn’t invited on the Indiana Adventure with the other girls, but it’s probably for the best, being that she’s got plenty going on in her own life.
Mack is trying to keep all youngins alive while Josh is living away from the family home, due to his inability to keep it zipped during a frisky night at ol’ Billy Bob’s Bar & Truckstop. The kids are about to start school, so Mackenzie tromps through her daughter Jaxie’s room (stepping over the piles of assorted crap–possibly both literally and figuratively) to find a clean frock to put the kid in for the first day of school.
Later that day, she meets up with her mom Angie and sister Whitney to talk about workout leggings (or something), as well as Gannon’s upcoming birthday party, which may or may not be attended by Joshy. Mackenzie says that currently, Josh’s living situation is that of Jenelle’s former booooyfriend Kieffer: he’s sleeping on random couches, in sheds and wherever the hell he can rest his cheating head.
A few days later, the Styrofoam containers of taco-like product have arrived which means…it’s birthday party time! Josh has made an appearance, as have an assortment of kids and random animals.
Josh only stays long enough to shovel down a few tacos before he starts to head for the door. Mackenzie confronts him and tells him he’s wrong for leaving his son’s party so early. Josh doesn’t appear to be too worried about it. He kisses his birthday youngin on his head and dashes out the front door.
Mack goes inside and bashes Josh to her sister, and then it’s time to bring out the cake.
The next day, the youngins are running amok, shaking sodas in the living room (as you do). Mack’s trusty sis Whitney is back to talk more about the Josh situation. She says that she knows Mackenzie and Josh already had a s**tcan marriage, and Mack agrees that Josh’s cowgirl wranglin’ was the “cherry on top” of their craptastic marriage sundae.
Mackenzie begins to cry and says Josh makes her feel ugly and that she can’t love him anymore. She also admits that she’s forced her relationship with Josh for the entire nine years they’ve been together, because she got knocked up at 16 and wanted to make things work.
She even admits that she knew Josh didn’t love her on the day they got married.
“I hate that I married him,” she says.
She realizes that she’s been unhappy ever since she got with Josh, and that she has spent her entire young adulthood trying to pretend she was happy living with him. She says she wishes she could go back to when she was 16 and steer clear of Josh….and/or worked harder to snag a spot on a ‘Teen Mom’ show earlier…
That’s all for this episode! Yeehaw, y’all!
To read The Ashley’s recap of the previous ‘Teen Mom OG’ episode, click here!
Cate with the f*cking Starbucks cup in the courtroom drawing 🤣🤣
Lol. I’d make fun of her, but that would probably be me.
Amber intentionally dates men who needs her money so that she can control and abuse them. She always moves these guys in and gives then access to her,bank account. She lets them drive her around in her,Range Rovers like she’s incapable of driving her own car to go see Leah. Once things go downhill she,then claims the men stole from her. Wash rinse repeat. Andrew probably wants alot of money to pay for lawyer .We all know MTV will pay top dollar lawyers for their cash cows. Janelle go away with the most stuff u see MTV watch.,of,Andrew wants a fair chance to battle her in court he will need alot of,money because he has tons of it.
Is she capable of driving on her own, though? Does she even have a valid license? She never drives.
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yeah, if you like racist pos..
I’d think it was probably MTV that roped the girls together and paid their way to “ support” Amber, I’m sure they were all happy to go as well.
I’ve been reading The Ashley ( stopped watching last season) and it seems everyone has the same valid reason for not watching or losing interest …Amber!
Amber is slowly sinking the ship and taking every one of her “friends” down with her! The three dumbasses go pity And enable her with the thought never crossing their minds that this could very well Crush all of them. All of them knew/ know Amber’s capabilities ( especially Gary) , they’ve all witnessed it up close and personal , eventually they’ll be regretting the overkill of support . For women who try to convince everyone of how grown and smarter they are now this sure was a stupid move … think before you speak !
I think they should give more segment time to Cheyenne. I loved how Baltimore Matt expected to move in with Cheyenne after his room mate situation “fell through”. She refuses to move in with him showing what a strong woman she is. Most of the other teen moms would of just move in with him. Cheyenne is the only reason I still watch this show. She is in inspiration to single moms everywhere!
Thanks for watching so I didn’t have to. I couldn’t believe this episode. I skipped all the Amber parts so in the end it was basically a 15 minute show.
Even watching Ryan antagonize his own son was a breath of fresh air compared to watching a single second of Amber.
I feel for Mackenzie. I’ve been in a marriage I felt like I HAD to stay in and it was Hell. I get a lot of her stuff, including getting pregnant, was all for show. But being married to someone that doesn’t love you, that you can tell doesn’t love you, and who you yourself also don’t love, SUCKS. Especially when you have everyone around you telling you to stay because you have kids together. She has no support in her want to leave him.
Um you know she’s back with him right??
I’m aware, and I feel like that’s in part because no one is in her corner when it comes to wanting to leave him. How many times in just these 2 episodes has she stated how unhappy she is and how much she wants to leave him and every single person she says this to says “well that sucks cuz you’re married and you have 3 kids together, might as well stay.” It’s the same bullshit I heard from people when I decided to leave my ex-husband. The only difference is that I had my dad telling me DAILY how I deserved better and I should go and he would help me.
Also, has anyone noticed Cory’s new veneers?? Those things are a step away from being the size and color of mint flavored chiclets. He can barely talk with those things in.
I think the OG girls were blindly team Amber. From what I remember, they all defended her before that damning recording came out, and now it’s crickets from all of them. I think Tyler even tried to apologize for jumping to conclusions after the audio was released.
I am sick of Amber and her shenanigans, and I have no idea why she’s even on the show…I don’t feel like seeing her fake cry anymore, I don’t feel like hearing her pity party and hearing her weaponize her mental illness as the reason why she beats people. I don’t feel like hearing her bitch and moan about how she’s not a bad mom and how she feels like she’s a piece of shit…it’s old now. I don’t wanna hear it anymore, because the girls is clearly incapable of changing…but with that said, I still do not like Andrew, and fully believe he had ulterior motives pursuing her. It was never out of love, it was always out of opportunity and greed, and James was his installment plan. Why else pursue AMBER PORTWOOD, and get her pregnant about a month after seeing her in 80% form on Marriage Boot Camp, if you didn’t have intentions on a get rich quick scheme. The fact that he would not film unless he got paid as much as Amber shows what his main motives in ALL of this were. Gary was also a victim and never demanded to receive a pay day, and he has also been a show runner from the very beginning. Who does Andrew think he is demanding as much or more than Amber, when the guys that have been on the show since they were 16 have not earned as much as the main girls? Both Andrew and Amber are TRASH in their own way in my opinion.
Cory’s got a lot of nerve talking about Cheyenne’s parenting when he didn’t find it necessary to leave his trip with Taylor to be with Ryder while she was in the hospital.
Cate FINALLY seems to be doing better, and it’s nice to see her not crying on the couch in her zebra hoodie anymore. You can tell she’s actually putting in an effort now, and it’s really starting to show.
Gary makes as much as Amber according to articles about that, so if Andrew is bringing THE only new story line on this sh*tshow in 10 years, why shouldn’t he get paid the same? MTV created these monsters, but trying to under pay the newbies!
With your logic, that means they should have been paying Kieffah the same, if not more than everyone in the entire franchise, because he brought in a lot of new story lines and is one of the most memorable supporting cast members of the TM franchise to date…hell Babs wasn’t even getting the same or more than Jenelle, and we all remember more 1 liners from her and Kieffah than anyone else (We will never forget “High, High! Ya Both High!”, “You’re nothin but a lyin hustla!” and “Bein’ a felon aint illegal!”).
Andrew said that the only way he would film is if they paid him more…so at the end of the day and at the end of him always on his soap box talking about what’s fair and unfair and how he wishes he could be a woman to be taken seriously…this dude is willing to exploit himself, his situation, and his kid, as long as the price is right. How people don’t see though his bullshit is baffling to me. Him and Amber are pieces of shit in their own rights. Andrew has a super sketchy past himself. Yes, he is the victim in this relationship (that he pursued with a felon who spent YEARS in prison for beating up a boyfriend) with Amber, but please believe Andrew is no saint.
This is the best recap I have ever read! 😂
I cut the girls a little slack because the tapes of what happened that night weren’t out before they said some of this stuff. They only had Amber’s side to go by, and they have all stuck together for years. No, they shouldn’t have believed her without hearing both sides, but sometimes that’s what friends do. So I do cut them *some* slack. But they should’ve been more careful about what they said on camera. Maci’s calling Andrew a narcissist made me cringe. I’m sure she’s embarrassed now that she said that.
Ryan is nothing but an older half-brother who sometimes pops in and out at Bentley’s activities. It’s like he sees Bentley as his parents’ younger, favorite child and is jealous of him. Getting his digs in. What an absolute piece of selfish trash. He should be bending over backwards trying to make up for everything he’s put Bentley through.
I can’t handle this Amber pity party. Everyone is acting like she didn’t do anything wrong. I understand wanting to be there and support your friend in a difficult time, but they are just enabling her and making it seem like she’s innocent. Regardless of if Andrew is an opportunist and was only with Amber for the money, he didn’t deserve to be chased with a machete while holding their SON! I don’t blame him for wanting money to talk to the crew. Why should he give his side of the story to his abuser’s employer for free?
Ryan has been, and will continue to be, a piece of shit. It’s honestly so painful to watch him try to be a parent. When Bentley showed up to the golf course he didn’t even get his ass up to say hi and give him a hug. He just complained that he had new golf gear.
I find it ironic for Maci to be supporting Amber and calling Andrew a narcissist when she sits and calls Ryan out. Her co-parentling situation is pretty similar, in that Ryan is to her what Amber is to Gary and now Andrew.
If that makes sense.
The only difference being that Amber is slightly worse than Ryan, as far as we know Ryan threatened violence but never actually physically hurt her.
But wasn’t Mackenzie pregnant before Gannon but she had a miscarriage? Wasn’t the whole point of her getting knocked up to be on the show? So why is she saying she should never have been with him if he was her only chance to be on show? And they had more children while filming Teen Mom 3? I don’t believe a word this woman says, she did it all on PURPOSE. (Her husband is still a POS though) Now face the consequences.
Amber’s still on her “woe is me” road, I see. Gary’s probably too scared of her to tell her exactly what he thinks. And why was Cheyenne there?! LOL.
Cory is LOVING it being on the show. Tbh, he came pretty egocentric to me on Real World already so that’s just the way he is.
Ryan’s a PERFECT father. Making fun of your kid. Can’t wait until Jagger grows up!
I can’t watch Mackenzie’s storyline for a few reasons, one being that MTV never addressed her first pregnancy. Her pregnancy with Gannon was clearly planned, but the producers of 16 & Pregnant created a whole fake narrative about her not being on birth control because she was afraid to gain weight 🤦♀️
I would be so pissed if I dropped everything to fly to Indiana to be by Amber’s side to “support” her, only for her to say, “Sorry, I’m not telling you guys about anything that happened.” I understand the gag order and everything, but you would think that if she trusts these “friends” enough to ask them to come there, that she would hopefully tell them at least something in confidence. Since when does Amber follow the rules anyways? I don’t watch the shows anymore because I won’t stand for a company that supports DV. However from the recap, it appears that Amber is way more concerned about Andrew’s lack of attention towards her than she is anything else. Who’s the narcissist, Maci??? Speaking of Maci, does this girl not own anything else in her wardrobe other than TTM gear? I mean, it’s just embarrassing how much her and Taylor promote this crap. And finally Amber, people have thought that you were a piece of shit LOOOONG before you abused and attacked your fiancé and child. Zebras can’t change their stripes.
Maci needs to promote her brand 24/7 because her cost of living is HIGH HIGH as Kieffer and Jenelle. Remember how she owed around 80 grand in back taxes and it took her quite a while to pay the IRS? She’s had at least one boob job, god knows what other plastic surgery, 3 kids, endless alcohol, tacky suburban McMansions ain’t cheap
When did she have a boob job?? She’s as flat as a pancake.
Amber’s bun’s too big in the artist impression….needs to look more ‘sumo wrestler’ to match her weapon of choice.
I really don’t understand MTV at all. They fire Jenelle, which, I’m not saying they were wrong for. The wrong part is they not only keep Amber but center the whole entire episode around her and her craziness! Then, they arrange for the whole cast to go to Indiana and support DV!! You know those girls don’t all agree with what she did but they only have to pretend to get their 6 figure paychecks for this season!! The producers should be ashamed of themselves! I’m not an Andrew fan either but I don’t blame him for not filming this shit show anymore even if it was more about money than morals!
Wow, Tyler that is QUITE the “look”.