Jill and Derick Dillard did yet another YouTube Q&A session on Monday and, this time, they delved into some hot topics such as their views on vaccinations and which parts of their courtship were lies created for Jill’s family’s show, 19 Kids and Counting. (Jill and Derick later starred on Counting On after Josh Duggar‘s sex abuse scandal got “19 Kids and Counting” cancelled.)
The outspoken duo— who are still at odds with some members of the Duggar Family, particularly Jill’s dad Jim Bob— also talked about being “highly encouraged” by Jill’s parents to avoid nearly all physical contact with each other until they were engaged, something Derick says he now regrets doing.
Here, The Ashley has broken down the most-interesting parts of the Q&A session!
While many Fundie families are anti-vaccinations, Jill and Derick shared that they have nothing against giving their two kids immunizations.
“We do vaccinate our kids, but we do selective and delayed vaccinations,” Jill said. “We don’t want to overload their system too much…we want to space them out. Like, if they get a shot, and it reacts, we’ll know which one it is.”
Jill also revealed that, growing up, she and her siblings were vaccinated on the recommended schedule.
“We are not against vaccines,” Derick said.
On how their courtship was made to look weirder for the show than it was:
Jill admitted that she and her family straight-out lied about some of the things they claimed they did in regard to Jill and Derick’s courtship. (For example, she admits that the Duggars’ claim that Jim Bob and/or Michelle were listening in on all of the couple’s phone calls, texts and Skype calls were lies.)
“My parents were NOT on all of our Skype calls! Literally they popped in a couple of times, less than 1 percent of the time they were on the calls,” Jill said. “Actually, the first two times we Skyped, my parents weren’t even home! I cleared it with my Dad first…The first two Skype calls totaled 11 hours and they weren’t even on either of them.”
Some things, though, were accurately played out on “19 Kids and Counting.”
“They were on the group text, that was accurate,” Jill said of her parents. “They were only on it until we got engaged.”
“Me and [my sister] Jessa were in courtships at the same time, so they wouldn’t have even had times to read all the text messages!” she added. “It was more like, if something comes up and we want to check, we can just scroll through.’”
Jill stated that their courtship was made to look weirder on TV than actually was in real life.
“I feel like there were some misconceptions about our courtship, because it was definitely a little more played up for the show and all that,” Jill said. “Things maybe weren’t as weird as they seemed…we feel like some of those views that people have may not be totally accurate.”
The couple said they set their own courtship rules and decided what would be “allowed” and what wouldn’t. Jill admitted, though, that her mom and dad did nudge them into the direction they wanted them to go.
“We were encouraged by…my parents to make rules for ourselves that we came up with on our own. But we probably would have done that anyway,” Jill said.
“One thing we might do differently is call it a ‘courtship,’” Derick said. “Because that has a sort of archaic feel to it. Not that everything old is bad, but it just evokes these ideas of strange things.”
“It didn’t sound as weird to me because I grew up hearing it…but even in our own courtship, we didn’t prefer to call it courting,” Jill said. “I think the TV cameras wanted it to be courting and this weird thing.”
On the regrets they have about having no physical contact before getting engaged:
Derick said he might do some things differently if he could go back and make decisions regarding how he and Jill limited their pre-marriage physical touching.
“We were 25 when we got engaged; I don’t know why I wasn’t holding your hand already,” he said.
“[Not holding hands] may have been highly encouraged by my parents, I don’t remember,” Jill added. “You would have had to clear it with my Dad [to hold my hand]… You totally would have.”
Despite all of Jimmy B and Michelle’s “highly encouraged” regulations, Jill said that, had she and Derick wanted to have some sexy time, they could have made it happen.
“If you wanted to get away with something, if you wanted to do something, you could have,” Jill said, adding that she and Derick actually wanted chaperones on their dates.
“That was something that we wanted for our relationship…just another set of eyes who could vouch, like, ‘Hey, they didn’t do this’ if someone tried to say we did something.”
“It was more for accountability, so no one could accuse you of something and say, ‘They did or didn’t do this,’” Derick added.
On sex before marriage:
“We’re also glad about a lot of things…probably the biggest one is that we didn’t have sex before we got married,” Jill said. “I think we were both encouraged growing up not to do that.”
“I doesn’t mean that, if you’re not a virgin that you’re a horrible person or something,” Jill added.
Derick stated that, even if someone is not a virgin, they can still redeem themselves.
“You shouldn’t keep doing something, just because you already messed up once,” he said. “It’s always right to start doing what you think you might want to do for your future spouse from that time forward, versus having regrets.”
On how much involvement they will have over their kids’ dating lives:
Jill and Derick’s boys are still very young, but the couple talked about how they will handle them (and any future kids) dating in the future.
“If they’re out on their own, we might not expect them to get permission [from us] before dating someone,” Jill said. “I think if we have daughters, it might be a little different too. I don’t know, even in the culture.”
“There are different levels of parental oversight [in a courtship] depending on certain things,” Jill added. “The age and stage of life matters. For instance, if they’re 16 and they live at home, versus 19 and still sort of supported by [their parents] in college, versus 24 and completely out on their own and paying their own utilizes and healthcare, all of that kind of stuff. That’s gonna look different in each of those stages…if parents are supporting them, [the parents] have more right to offer unsolicited advice.
Watch the full video below!