Howdy, kids! Itโs the week of Thanksgiving here in the good olโ US of A so to get into the holiday spirit, letโs check in with our favorite Teen Mom 2 turkeys and see which of their baby daddies is crawling out from under Plymouth Rock this week!
We kick things off this episode in The WV, where Leah is worrying about the coronavirus and whatnot. She decides to tell her sister Victoria that she doesn’t think it’s a good idea for them to take Baby GreenCard down to Costa Rica to meet Roy-er. Victoria is not happy that her sister won’t be footing the bill for going on the trip.
“Somehow I knew this was gonna come about?” Victoria— who is apparently a psychic and can predict global pandemics— pouts.
Leah explains that Ali has a compromised immune system, so this virus is particularly scary for her family.
After hearing that, Victoria has to pretend that she agrees that they shouldn’t go, even though we all know that if Leah slapped her credit card down to pay for Victoria’s ticket, Victoria and the baby would be on that plane faster than you can say “I may come back pregnant again!”
Victoria is sad for Roy-er, who is missing the first months of his son’s life. Leah promises she’ll arrange it so Victoria can take the baby down there.
(Also, why the hell is it Leah’s job to see that her sister gets to Costa Rica?)
Leah tells us later that this ding-dang coronavirus has “threw a wrench” in all her jetsetting plans. With the coronavirus becoming a bigger “dill” every day, Leah is worried about Ali getting sick. Because of this, she has banished the film crew from her house, and she’s going to film on her own. (Fingers crossed she’s using Mama Dawn‘s Handi-Cam from 1991 to do so.)
Leah tells Producer Brandon (via video chat) that she’s afraid to leave her house and she doesn’t care if people think she’s being dramatic. Producer Brandon just looks at her like, ‘Um…people throw shoes at people on this show. This doesn’t even qualify as drama.’
Next, we swing up to Indiana, where Jade tells us Sean eventually agreed that Jade’s mom Christy could see Qloi. They proceed to have a monotone conversation of one- or two-word answers. (Seriously, how are they paying these knuckleheads so much money to do this on-camera?!)
Jade says that Christy is staying at an extended stay hotel currently, but as soon as they get stable things will change and Klowwy might be able to stay with Christy.
So….basically…things will never change.
Jade says that she also wants the kid to start seeing Sean’s family, who he is apparently estranged from currently.
Next we head to South Dakota. In an effort to add just a smidge of variety to her storyline, Chelsea is focusing on the new house she and Cole are going to start building instead of the usual A-D-A-M drama. On the way to their property, Chelsea and Cole tell Watson theyโre going to pick out where they want their new house and he suggests they build the new cabin ‘oโ flannel print within close proximity to Chelseaโs favorite coffee joint.
After leaving the empty property, Chelsea talks about how busy her life is with the new house on the horizon and โherโ clothing line with LaurieBelle’s. Chelsea drives this whole overworked business woman claim home by telling Cole that she is going on a work trip to LA with Laurie and โa few of the galsโ from the store, during which Cole will be left to dole out Goldfish snacks all alone. As per usual, Cole pretends heโs fine with it.
Chelsea says she used to freak out at the idea of leaving the kids behind for a weekend away but now sheโs โsilently celebratingโ her upcoming trip.
Next we check in with Kail who has now told her boys that sheโs expecting another baby. She didnโt, however, reveal that sheโs having another boy because she wants to do a gender reveal with the kids to surprise them. Kail says Isaac is โteam girl,โ Lincoln is โteam boyโ and Lux isโฆ a whole mood.
Later on, Kail and Vee do a photoshoot together for Kailโs haircare line. After taking some photos, Kail tells Vee about the confetti-popper gender reveal going down that weekend and Vee confesses that Jo actually told her about Kailโs pregnancy before Kail had a chance to tell Vee herself.
Unfazed, Kail goes on to tell Vee that the kids didnโt have any questions for her when she sat them down to tell them the news, even after she practically begged them to ask a few.
Kail tells Vee she isnโt planning to put Chris on the babyโs birth certificate and if Chris wants to be on it, heโs going to have to fight her for it.
Back in Indiana, Sean has decided to try to mend his relationships with his family. He asks Jade if it would be OK if his sister came to stay with them for a week.
WTF? Have these people never heard about meeting up with their family members at an Applebee’s or something, visiting for a few hours and being on their way? Why does everyone who shares DNA with them have to practically move in!?
Sean explains that he hasn’t seen his sister for years, because he didn’t talk to his family while he was on The Drugs. Now that he’s sober, he’s doing things right for once.
He says that while he was on The Drugs, he didn’t care about his grandparents, who are struggling with their health.
Now, though, Sean wants to make it right for Klouwi because he “wants her to have as much loving people as she can.”
(Apparently the “schools aren’t well” in Indiana, either.)
Later, Sean goes to pick up his sister Jen at the airport, and she bum-rushes him at first sight. (Sean is sure to capture the Kodak moment on film.) They tell us that they haven’t seen each other in seven years.
Sean tells Jen that he doesn’t want to end up like Jade’s parents, so he knew he needed to get his head on straight and put down The Drugs.
Down in Florida, Briana is trying to figure out a specific amount each baby daddy will need to contribute, following her meeting with Luis and Devoin last episode. Here to help(ish)/score some free Lucky Charms cereal is Brianaโs friend โShirley.โ
As โShirleyโ rummages through the refrigerator, Briana tells her sheโll be โso proudโ of her for the recent Come to DeJesus moment she had with the baby daddies โ both of whom, she adds, even took the time to read her list of demands.
After some more rambling โ and more rooting around for food on โShirleyโsโ part โ Briana asks if $250 โper baby daddyโ is too much. โShirleyโ tells Briana she thinks itโs fair. After Briana fires off a lengthy text message to Luis and Devoin, she says if the two of them arenโt willing to cough up the funds, sheโll have to take them to court for child support.
Devoin and Luis text Briana back and both say theyโre on board with what sheโs proposing. With things seemingly in a good place, Briana decides to rock the baby daddy boat a bit by tweeting about the new guy sheโs dating.
Later on, when asked about Brianaโs tweets by a producer, โShirleyโ tries to remove herself from the drama her best friend is actively stirring up. Briana tries to downplay her new relationship, telling โShirleyโ that her new man is โnot going to be involved in my personal life with my kids.โ
Umm… is your new man Luis?
Over in South Dakota, Chelsea takes off to LA for her โbusiness tripโ with Laurie, whom Chelsea assures is โkeeping us healthyโ as C0VID concerns begin to grow.
First up on the LaurieBelleโs field trip is a meeting with some denim designers, where Chelsea โ who is pretending to be an Iron Maiden fan today โ tries on nearly identical distressed denim cut-offs and marvels over her outfit, which she declares is a โnice relaxed moment.โ
Later on, Chelsea calls Cole to check in on the little ones and talk about the โexclusiveโ jeans sheโs bringing to LaurieBelleโs.
As Chelsea arrives back in South Dakota, sheโs greeted by Cole and her litter. On the way home from the airport, Aubree asks Chelsea if she โgot the coronavirusโ while she was away, to which Chelsea says โI hope not.โ Aubree then schools her parents on where the virus started and how people have begun wearing masks on airplanes.
OK, maybe the cellphone wasnโt such a bad idea after all?
Back in Delaware, it’s the day of Kailโs gender reveal. Kail invites a few of her friends to the house as well as a photographer. Before the festivities begin, Kail talks to Isaac and Lincoln about their little brother or sister, almost as if sheโs trying to convince Lincoln to get on board with โteam girlโ despite knowing sheโs definitely having another boy. While Kail is trying to explain to Lincoln that girls can wrestle, Lux hangs out in another room, preparing for the gender reveal in his own way.
Once the photographer has everything set up, Kail hands the boys their poppers and they go on to reveal a room full of blue confetti, much to Isaacโs disappointment. Later, Kail consoles Isaac by asking him, โAre you pissed?โ She reminds him that he already has a little sister at his dadโs house and tells him she could always try for a little sister in the future.
In Florida, after (almost) getting called out by โShirley,โ Briana states the obvious reminds viewers that she โhasnโt always had the best luck with dating.โ Though she claims she was trying to keep her new relationship โlight,โ Briana says her new man invited her to go with him to Puerto Rico.
While sheโs agreed to go on vacation with her new man, Briana says (for the fourth time) that she knows the two of them โwill never be in a serious relationship.โ
(Girl, are you trying to convince viewers or yourself?)
Roxanne has agreed to watch Stella and Nova while Briana is banging her brains out in Puerto Rico, but Briana admits that her mom doesnโt really know the details of her trip โ presumably who sheโs going with. It doesnโt take long, however, for Roxanne to start putting the pieces together and letโs just say, sheโs not pleased.
Roxanne begins asking Briana questions about her mystery man, but Briana doesnโt budge and instead tells her mom itโs none of her business. Roxanne argues that for safety reasons, she needs to know who her daughter is hanging around, especially if she โshows up missing.โ
Briana tells Roxanne if she were going to โgo missingโ she wouldโve done so a long time ago, probably when they were still living five-deep in that overcrowded apartment with clutter as far as the eye can see.
After realizing this episode conversation is going nowhere, Roxanne leaves Briana with some advice: 1. โDonโt trust no mother f**ker.โ 2. โDonโt touch doorknobs.โ 3. Get yourself some hand sanitizer and condoms. 4. Donโt get stranded in Puerto Rico.
I think that’s nice….
On the day of her trip, Briana suckers โShirleyโ into giving her a ride to the airport. A couple of days after she arrives, Briana is enjoying her trip, but says things are moving too fast and sheโs not sure how she feels about it.
Still working to earn that bowl of cereal Briana gave her, โShirleyโ is subjected to a FaceTime call, during which Briana basically talks in circles about how her new man wants to get serious with her and though she’s into him, she doesnโt want to take it to the next level. โShirleyโ looks bored to death.
Down in West Virginia, things have gotten weird real darn fast. The girlseses have makeup all over their faces and their hair is all frazzled and they’re shooting a “movie” at their house.
It’s not all lipstick-covered faces at Leah’s, though. The girlseses are starting to get sad that they can’t see their dads, due to the coronavirus. She allows Addie to go see Jeremy’s mom, and then uses the time to talk to the twinseses about why they have to stay home. She keeps pointing at Ali and reminding them that Ali has a compromised immune system so they can’t go anywhere.
Leah then calls out poor Ali again, telling Aleeah that Ali was crying because she missed her dad. Aleeah calls Ali dramatic and the twinseses begin to squabble.
That’s all for this episode! To read The Ashley’s recap of the previous episode of ‘Teen Mom 2,’ click here!
(Photos: MTV)
So Kail is using Baby4’s birth certificate as a way of getting attention from Chris. To quote The Ashley “I think that’s nice…”
I love your Khloi whatever lines. And how Cole and Chelsea really are. Big boring fakers for a storyline to get NTV cash. Without A D A M they would inly have that dunb ass schooldance once a year
So with Bri, is Puerto Rico guy also Tattoo guy? And whatโs with the secrets – it will never work, canโt possibly last yada yada yada. I just donโt see a married man, or one with a job, wanting to get involved with her mess.
As usual, I about died while reading this. Klowy, Clowee, whatever. So many guesses.
Kail, Chelsea & Bri need their legs glued shut. Esp Kail. At least Chelsea’s married. Kail is beyond a joke.
As always, love Ali Girl. Compared to the rest of the kids. I feel kids are off-limits, but they’re so cruel to Ali.
Anyways, there’s my essay… lol
Why does Chelsea need to “keep her legs glued up” exactly?
God forbid a married, financially stable woman wants another child
Who the hell are you to tell someone to keep their legs closed? Happily married women open them all the time…and not every session ends in pregnancy. Slut shaming a married woman for enjoying sex with her husband? That’s low…and I feel so very sorry for whoever your ass is with. Karen – party of you!
Barf. Please Kail, DO NOT try for another (eyeroll). It’s become so normal, run of the mill for her kids. It’s disgusting
Maybe Cole wanted Chelsea to send him a Nudie suit while she was in LA. The country sequined to hell and back look would sure mix things up for them, and they could probably even get the sequins in a camouflage pattern.
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I know that shit makes me annoyed. The Misfits shirt on Briana made me want to throw up on her! The band tee thing needs to go away with these poser ass chicks. For those of us who actually listen to the music well we think you look incredibly stupid.
My fav thing to do to teenagers in band t-shirts is to go, “oh, I love that band! What’s your fav song by them?” Watching them get confused is hilarious. On the plus side, I did it to my niece over a Nirvana shirt and she actually went and listened to them afterwards.
Brianna looked really pathetic this week (I mean, she always does). But going to Puerto Rico with a married man during a pandemic for a dick appointment? Girl….
Omg, yes! Does she just have a thing for married men?
Qloi is my favorite spelling youโve done yet ๐ As someone with a college degree that earns waaaay less than these trashtastic classless pieces of gutter trash (minus Chelsea)…..Iโm mad at myself for contributing to this dumpster fire all these years. But. I live a lonely, dull life so ๐๐๐๐
I cant watch these chicks while they attmept to film durinf quarantine. I already lived it and dont want to relive that.
I agree, I hate that COVID is now slowly seeping its way into my reality TV (Teen Mom, RHOOC, Jersey Shore).
Right there with ya Lorinda! I made it goal not to get pregnant and finish college…and yet I contribute to the $$$ these dumpster fires make. Ei Yi Yi
Also, Qloi is the BEST one so far. I die LAUGHING reading these recaps and love the running gag on that name. Thanks Da Ashley
The captions had me dyiiiing ๐ LOL
We all know at this point Kail will keep on trying until she gets a girl. With her luck, she might end up with 13 boys before just like that family in Michigan. Lets just hope mumble Chris won’t be her father.
Hey, maybe Kail can trade one of her boys for Caitlyn & Tylerโs girls, then we are spared more pregnancies by either of these train wrecks, jus sayin! JK people!
Or if Briana has another girl from her latest gross soulmate then she and Kail can swap when Kail has her fifth son from Mr. Mumbles. Although I’d feel terrible for a boy trying to survive the DeJesus Coven. At least Devoin said he’ll make sure Nova doesn’t turn out that way.
I didn’t know until reading the comments that Briana’s new man is (or at least was at the time of filming) married. She sure knows how to pick ’em. She’ll wind up preggers again and he’ll be another deadbeat. Wonder if her new man has other kids he barely sees or supports. Bri is too dumb to learn from her lessons.
Oh and i forgot Jade.
Because yes, boring
Im happy to see Leah taking the corona serious. She made some pretty bad calls in the past, but she reacted fast and the right way to protect her child.
At this point im just fed up with Chelsea and Kail. Yes you still like plaid and ripped jeans and yeah you still pregnant ..
Briana .. Girl ๐คฆ๐ผโโ๏ธ
As usual, The Ashley, your recap and captions are killer. Made my day ๐
Sad
Why did it take this long for Briana to get the dads to agree to child support? Nova is 9 years old, this should have been figured out less than a year with each dad after each child was born. The reason I think is so Briana has control over Nova seeing Devoin, if they go to court he will have a custody plan in place.
I understand Devoin is not working high wage jobs, but the years when he didn’t have Nova 3-4 days a week (as he claims he does now) he should have contributed child support money.
Brianna must not realize that Devoin and Luis could refuse to allow their kids to be filmed and then her storyline and the money she gets for them filming her lifs would be a wrap? Maybe she does realize this and that would explain why she wont take them to court to get child support. The first thing courts do is establish custody and if Devoin and Luis legally establish paternal rights Brianna will be SOL. She will probably have to pay them child support. Oh yes. If Luis claims he doesnt spend time with Stella because he has no stable home then just like with a woman the courts will order Brianna to spend part of that $200,000 salary to help Luis pay rent somewhere.
Lolololol pretending to be an Iron Maiden fan. My first thought when I saw her shirt was โI wonder…..?โ
I could never wear something Iโm not extremely passionate about.