‘Teen Mom 2’ Season 11 Episode 9 Recap: Sexual Tension, a Salon & A Shen Update

The saga of Kail and Javi in a nutshell…

Hey, y’all! Welcome back to DumpsterFireVille, where the gals from Teen Mom 2 never disappoint us when it comes to making bad life decisions for our entertainment!

We kick things off this week with Kail. She and Javi are taking Kail’s litter, as well as Lincoln’s football team to a game in Atlanta. They report that there has not been any Kail and Javi drama— or “Kavi” drama— this trip but…this day is young.

“We got a few games of ‘hide the snake’ in between football games too…”

They show some Sportsball clips and stuff, and then Kail tells us that Javi’s been “super flirty” to her since they went on the trip. Javi comes over and tells Kail he brought her a housewarming gift.

“What is it?” Kail asks.

“I think you know…”

It’s a mini football Lincoln (and not ‘Mini Javi’ like we all thought.) 

Javi gives Kail an awkward hug and kiss combo and then Kail shows him around the house so that he will know all of the spots that they will be able to bang.

I think that’s nice…

“Nice railings,” Javi comments.

Too easy…

They head to the master bedroom which Javi labels “my room.” 

“But I’m not picky. We can fornicate on the floor if necessary…”

They ask Lincoln how he feels about them getting along (and, you know, all the awkward sexual tension and stuff). Lincoln looks like he’d rather die than answer any more of these questions.

Over in California, Ashley’s daughter, Holly, gives a recap of her school day while Bar FaceTimes his mom, Shen, to catch up. Shen tells Bar her doctor found “a bunch of malignant stuff”–- aka tumors–- in her spine. In addition to surgery and follow-up appointments, Shen will undergo massage therapy– the latter of which she’s really excited about.

Bar says “it’s dope as hell” that his mom can find the positive in a bad situation. 

“This’ll be the most action I’ve gotten in months!” 

Despite her current health issues, Shen says she still wants to come out and visit Bar and his family. Bar gets emotional as Shen continues to discuss her health.

Later on, Ashley notes that she and Shen are in a better place than they used to be and that she wants to support Bar, as he’s having a tough time dealing with his mom’s diagnosis. 

Bar talks about Shen wanting to come out for a visit, and Ashley begins talking about moms not looking at their children like little babies anymore… or something? 

An alternative title for this show…

Ashley also says the pandemic has made both her and Bar have a better appreciation for loved ones and the time you have with people. 

Seemingly the same day, Shen arrives in California.

Shout out to the producers for not dragging this visit out over the next four episodes.

Later on, Bar and Shen grab coffee while Shen talks about the horrible weather in Ohio and what the next few weeks will look like after she returns: biopsies and more doctors appointments. On a more positive note, Bar tells his mom about the progress he and Ashley have made in their relationship and Shen adds that the growth from both Bar and Ashley has been “amazing.”

Like Ashley, Jade is also opening her own salon so the locals in her town can continue to be Slayed by Jade on the reg. In addition to opening her salon, Jade is still trying to get all of the remodeling done to her new house before Sean comes home from The ‘Hab’ in a week. And of course, Kloweegh is along for the ride– literally and figuratively. 

“Can I please just take a quick nap?”

With her salon unfinished at the moment, Jade is still working in her previous location and of course, her trusty BFF Chau stops by to get a touchup on her hair and pick up a little paycheck from MTV. While dyeing Chau’s hair snow-cone purple, (as you do), Jade talks about how much better things will be when Sean comes home and is able to parent “50-50” with her. 

” …when Christy will pop her pain-pill lovin’ self back into my life and try to screw things up.”

Later on, Jade gives a tour of her new salon, which of course, includes a massage table for Chau.

“Shen, come on down! We’re ready for you, girl!” 

Meanwhile, Sean meets with his rehab director in Texas to talk about his post-rehab plan, where he’s commended for being able to ask for help.

“Asking for help and giving none in return? No problem!”

Down in Florida, Briana is still pushing for Luis to be more involved in Stella’s life, no matter how bad Stella would like him not to be. During this particular forced interaction, Luis FaceTimes Stella during dinner to interrupt her ramen eating and insult her hair. 

“I thought we block that bum’s number?”

Fortunately, it’s almost bedtime so Stella gets out of making small talk with the bald stranger that is her father– for now. 

Later on, Briana says that Nova’s grades are slipping, so she’s being taken out of gymnastics and put into tutoring a few times a week. (I’m sure having this filmed for MTV made thing much better for Nova.)

 Briana and Roxanne warn Nova that fourth grade is when things “get real” and Roxanne takes it a step further by telling Nova life is going to deliver her a Size 9 right to the head if she doesn’t get her act together. 

Someone please lock this woman’s closet.

Devoin picks up Nova and Stella from school, meanwhile, Briana and her mom and sister talk about Stella’s heart monitor findings. The doctor, Briana says, found nothing abnormal and believes Stella is just feeling her heart beating and doesn’t know how to explain what it is… or something?

Brittany somehow relates this to the time she went to the hospital with abdominal pain which ended up being gas. She says she finally hooted it all out, but not before she had to pay thousands in medical bills. 

Has it really come to this? We are giving airtime to Brittany’s flatulence? Not gonna lie, though, I’d still rather hear about this than Kail’s newest house…

Next, we hop on over to the holler to check in with Leah. She tells us that she and the girlseseses feel “closer than ever” to Jaylan, now that he lives in their holler. Jaylan “comes over” in the morning (because he of course didn’t sleep in Leah’s bed the night before, y’all) and serves up the girlseseses some troughs of breakfast meats. 

“Jaylan may be annoying but at least we don’t get our breakfasts from the ding-dang gas station anymore!”

Later, Jaylan comes in (wearing some sort of safari hat…as you do) and tells Leah that his dad “didn’t say much” about him bringing a twice-divorced mother of three (and her camera crew) to Christmas. He says his sister is down for their relationship though (probably because she knows she’s only a few ‘Teen Mom’ appearances away from getting approached to do promos and sell crap on Instagram).

Leah says it’s important that Jaylan come with her to drop off Addie and the twinseseses with their dadseseseses. 

“Activate: devoted human persona”

Next, Jaylan is doing his own interviews, saying how he can’t wait to continue to grow as a family with all the girlseses and Leah.

Also, he is saying all this while wearing a pearl necklace.

A.PEARL.NECKLACE.

You guys…I can’t

“…to continue to wear women’s jewelry. And Mama Dawn’s turtleneck!”

“I don’t think the honeymoon period will ever end!” Jaylan tells us optimistically. 

“It’s real love!” 

“Good luck with that, bro…”

Back in Delaware, Kail has invited Javi to her work office “for lunch.” (I’ll bet I can guess what the ‘main course’ will be. Also…ew.) 

Javi is trying to show Kail how to put the peg in the hole. (They’re building a rack of some sort, you sickos!) 

They begin eating their lunch as they talk about how great their “co-parenting” is lately. Javi wants to know why things are so good between them all of a sudden.

Gee…I wonder…

Kail says it’s because Lincoln plays football or something. You can literally cut the sexual tension with a spork here.

“Did someone say spork? I’d be down to spork…just sayin’…”

Kail says that their current relationship shows that they can work out, and maybe they divorced because it wasn’t the right time for them. She suggests it was a case of “right person, wrong time.” 

“You’re saying I’m the right person?” Javi asks.

“Yeah,” Kail says.

Javi then asks if Kail would be open to getting back into a relationship (other than just dry humping in the car after football practice, etc., of course…)

Kail says she’s not sure. She tells the cameras later that she and Javi need to work on themselves first.

That’s the understatement of the century…

On a more positive (and less gassy) note in Florida, Briana notes that Luis is making more of an effort with Stella and has even been calling multiple times a day. She isn’t sold on the new and improved Luis just yet, however, due to his horrible track record. 

Don’t worry, you won’t be waiting very long.

Briana decides it’s time to bring her baby daddies together for one big happy family lunch and both Luis and Devoin are on-board with the plan. Not long after, Devoin shows up… Luis, however, is an hour late and not answering his phone. Briana worries that Luis’ latest dad fail is going to upset Stella, but something tells us Stella didn’t want to break bread with that baldheaded stranger to begin with. 

“Ok, NOW can we block his number?”

Back in The WV, Leah is taking the twinseseses to meet up with Corey Tyler. They drive to the trusty side of the road lot. Naturally, because “he’s here now,” Jaylan has to tag along to the spawn exchange. Corey Tyler is kind to Jaylan, but is definitely not in the mood to chit-chat about the benefits of wearing women’s jewelry or whatnot. He loads those girlseseses into his truck and high-tails it out of there.

The twinseseses and Corey head to Corey’s father Jeff‘s house. Corey goes inside to dish the gossip about Leah’s new soulmate to his pops. He tells Papaw Jeff that Leah’s boyfriend is now living in the holler. Papaw Jeff says that if the girlseses were Jingle Belling with Jaylan’s family at Christmas, things with him and Leah must be getting pretty serious.

Corey agrees, and says that the twinseses have no problems with Jaylan.

“…although the girls are afraid he’s gonna borrow their jewelry and pants…”

We head over to Leah’s house, where there’s more Messer mess happening. Victoria‘s Costa Rican one-night-hump-turned-baby-daddy, Royer (or Roger?) finally gets approved for a visa, so an excited Victoria rings up Leah to talk about how great it will be to have the guys they want to bang living in The WV! 

Victoria tells Leah that she and Royer will have 90 days to get hitched once he sets his hooves down in America. Victoria says she plans to get married as soon as Royer arrives.

Not gonna lie; I’d totally watch a ‘Teen Mom’/’90 Day Fiance’ cross-over spinoff….

Victoria says that, even if the ding-dang law didn’t say she had to marry Royer within 90 days, she still probably would get hitched right away because she is in love.

All this love and marriage talk has given Victoria some crazy ass eyes…

Victoria tells Leah that she should be gettin’ hitched pretty soon, too. (After all, she has been with Jaylan for months. That’s like 10 years in Messer girl time.) 

“When’s Jay going to pop that ring out?” Victoria squeals.

(Well, this is ‘Teen Mom,’ so most likely not before Leah pops an illegitimate kid out…)

“We know that you want his babies and his ring and his last name– Leah Mobley!” Victoria says. 

Leah says she “ain’t never giving up” her last name ever again.

“The name Messer carries a lot of dang-gone respect down here in the holler!”

But… Leah Messer Simms Calvert Mobley does have a nice ring to it, doesn’t it…

Leah says she doesn’t even know if she needs to get married.

Wait…what? Leah isn’t getting married? Can that…happen?

She says she will have her happy ending without getting married. 

Sure, Jan…

“I was 17 when I got married the first time, 19 when I got married the second time, so it definitely felt like a failure,” Leah tells us. “I was dead-set on never getting married again.”

“Did y’all know you can just bang people and not marry ’em?! Why didn’t anyone tell me this in 2011?!”

That’s all for this episode! To read The Ashley’s recap of the previous episode of ‘Teen Mom 2,’ click here!

(Photos: MTV) 

26 Comments

  1. The Ashley, I feel like you missed an opportunity for a great caption by ignoring Sean’s “Hitmaker” hoodie.


  2. Kail’s life is beyond a dumpster fire at this point – it is a toxic waste dump. How terrible for her children (especially Isaac and Lincoln who are old enough to know what is going on) that she has a kid with Chris, hates him, hooks up with other people for awhile then has a second kid with him even though he treats her like garbage. Isaac likely knew what was going on there. Now she’s contemplating getting back with Javi, who was bangin’ on the bathroom floor while his other baby mama upstairs with their baby. A lot kids want their divorced parents to reunite and that situation is probably causing a lot of confusion for Lincoln. Poor Addie was hoping for reunification when her parents started playing hide the sausage again. And what about that neighbor guy that another recent ex of Kail’s said has moved in with her. WTF is going on with the revolving door of men in her house.

    Kail and Javi deserve eachother, but the kids deserve better. I’ve said it before, aside from Isaac who has good examples on his dad’s side, the other three boys are going to have no clue how to treat significant others in relationships given the poor role models set by their parents. If I had a daughter I wouldn’t want her dating any of Kail’s sons (aside from Isaac) knowing what the world knows. Sure her kids are well-groomed and enrolled in a lot of activities (while the TM money is still rolling in), but that won’t prevent issues down the line from their messy childhoods.


  3. As a rural West Virginian😂, I really do enjoy your humor about us hillbillies (and proud of it). But I do have to throw in here that West Virginia is an incredibly beautiful state, and of all of the dads that have appeared on this show, Corey and Jeremy are among the most responsible and actually have jobs. R


    1. @Robbie— It’s all in good fun. In reality, I am DYING to visit WV! The Messer clan certainly isn’t the best representatives for your state! 🙂 -The Ashley


  4. Bri is doing more harm than good by continuing to force this “relationship” on Stella. She has got to stop projecting her own insecurities and daddy issues onto her daughters.


  5. Thank you for giving a proper shout-out to the pearl necklace. I thought it paired lovely with the F’ing smiley face hat. Wow.

    He’s an adult right, like an adult-adult? Clearly he’s new to the whole “dressing myself” game.


  6. I read that Leah bought a house and put it in jaylans name only. If that’s true she’s a moron.


  7. Best parts of this review that I cannot stop laughing about…

    Back in Delaware, Kail has invited Javi to her work office “for lunch.” (I’ll bet I can guess what the ‘main course’ will be. Also…ew.)

    Javi is trying to show Kail how to put the peg in the hole. (They’re building a rack of some sort, you sickos!)

    Ahhhh Ashley, you never fail to say just what we are thinking.


  8. Ummmm Kail this week was awful!! Her ego is bigger then the show at it’s prime. I may never watch again bc of her alone. So gross. And I used to be a fan of hers, thought she did such a great job with those kids. But yikes. She is the worst


    1. She does the minimum that the others can’t manage.

      Feeds, bathes, clothes, shuffles them to sports.

      I can’t imagine the emotional damage she does by just being herself, let alone add in how she treats EVERYONE in their lives.

      The kids are literally r/raisedbynarcissists. Javi is just as bad and Chris is worse.


  9. I’ve been re watching teen mom 2 I wish Bri would watch so she will stop whining over baby daddies not there she and her mother and sister treat them like dirt and all gang up on Luis and Devoin and make them feel uncomfortable every time they come I seen Luis bring in 2 big box of pampers and Bri say he done nothing he was there when Stella was a baby they ran him off I think Luis needs a DNA test he said they was pregnant before a month they maybe why she lets him slide I know she looks nothing like Luis


  10. Javi and Kail screw a lot. You can see it in the pictures!

    Jaylen is doing the most to get TM famous, aint he?


  11. What no recap on how petty Bri is with the treadmill and the clown costume. Guess you already covered that it’s not important to the episode…but how do you literally start shit by running your own mouth, get sued over it and then send the other person a treadmill to tell THEM to run something other than their mouth? I just don’t understand why she’s even on the show. I don’t care if she is willing to give the drama. I can’t stand her!!
    I can say I was hoping that Kail had some concrete evidence that Bri opening her trap actually did hurt her podcasts in some way. If Kail hadn’t admitted in court that she doesn’t know and only speculates that it did the judge may have ruled differently. …and if the judge had ruled differently maybe Bri would learn that running her mouth doesn’t make her a better person. You can’t light your fire trying to put out someone else’s.

    I think if the show didn’t have so many girls and gave a few of the girls a chance to put something other than just the most dramatic things of their lives it would be a better show. MTV went down this rabbit hole of having to have so many girls on and often only showing the worst parts or most dramatic parts of their lives. I feel like the stuff they should be able to be happy about they can’t be because if the public doesn’t hear about it from the show or MTV first the girls can be sued…or that people read things out of context from articles like this and things that aren’t necessarily all truth spread like wild fire. And unless people are willing to give you a chance outside of that they’ll never know.


    1. Brianna did not hurt Kail’s podcasts. Kail hurt her podcasts. When she punched Chris over a haircut, got herself arrested, and it was publicized all over the internet, SHE is the one who damaged her reputation more. Brianna was not the one to reveal anything, it was already out there. Which is why Kail lost her ridiculous lawsuit. Girl is a miserable person and only has herself to blame for it.


    2. Their would be no lawsuit if it wasn’t for Kail’s petty ass. So Brianna can celebrate all she wants. Can’t blame her 🥳


  12. Is this for real?

    Like this show has to be mostly scripted now right?

    I just have to say a huge THANK YOU to Ashley for doing what I can’t do anymore, which is WATCH this shit. Sorry, but if I had wasted an hour of my life to be harassed by MTV with their repeat commercials AND have to see Kail give her EXHUSBAND(her only friend?) a tour of her newest mansion, or this Jaylan go from someone Leah was kinda dating to a guy who will be the one listed as #1 beneficiary on her Dateline episode….I’d be in a coma.

    So THANK YOU Ashley, and Fuck You MTV for letting this show go down the shitter. It was good once.


  13. I’m surprised the U.S. Air Force ever let Javi join. The dude has multiple mental health issues.


    1. What mental health issues are those? Have you met anyone in the armed forces? They f*ck like rabbits and aren’t generally faithful to a partner or a partner isn’t faithful to them. I’ve met people who got married after 6 months of dating. That’s not uncommon, nor is divorce.

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