Former Counting On stars Jinger and Jeremy Vuolos recently welcomed fans into their North Hollywood, California, in a video posted to their YouTube channel. The video— which is basically the first episode of MTV: Cribs (Fundie Edition) takes fans behind the door of the home Jeremy, Jing and their family are living in for free while Jeremy is in God School to become…whatever the hell he’s still in school for. (Hey— if the job gets me a free house in LA, sign me up!)
The video kicks off in front of a beautiful home in California. Jeremy and Jinger have been “gifted” this house to live in while Jeremy completes his 190th semester of Jesus Learnings. There’s a knock on the heavily secured door (which is most likely to keep out heathens/hillbilly barefooted Duggars looking for a free place to stay).
A rough-looking Jinger opens the door. She welcomes the camera into “their” home, where we see Jeremy. He’s got a shaved head. (Has he joined the Los Angeles chapter of Vatos for Jesus or…did he get caught using the Internet without an accountability partner and now has to be sent to the Alert Camp for Wayward Fundies?)
He proudly shows off their formal dining area (where Jing can present plate upon plate of whatever that disgusting tuna dish Jim Bob likes is called, to her headship and blessings.)
Jeremy brags that they’ve been grifting the house for about three years now. Jinger, meanwhile, attempts to smile but is so thin and jaded with life that she can barely muster up the strength to turn up the corners of her mouth. (All jokes aside…is she OK?)
This Fundie version of ‘MTV Cribs’ continues into the “guest” room. Jeremy tells us this used to be his and Jinger’s bedroom (so we can assume this is where they banged it out to make their two existing “blessings”…ew.) They moved their bedroom upstairs to be closer to the girls, so this room now exists to host stray Fundies. Jinger claims that the room is “filled up” at least once a month, so that bed is getting a lot of action.
Jeremy explains that no one was breaking down the door to stay with them when they lived in hot, dusty, heathen-filled Laredo, Texas, but since they’ve moved to California, they say the Fundies are coming to visit in droves.
Swimmin’ pools…movie stars…
Luckily, though, Jeremy’s insufferable, self-righteous personality probably scares visitors off within a couple of days.
They show off the master bedroom, which consists of a white sink, white toilet and white shower curtain and is blander than Jinger’s new “LA Influencer” style. (Does anyone else miss crunchy, Top-Ramen-curls-and-heavy-eyeliner Jinger? I could sure go for one of her signature eye rolls right about now.)
Next, we move to the dining room again, where Jeremy marvels at the fact that Jinger picked up a used kid’s table on the side of the road and actually saw a purpose for it and brought it home. What they don’t explain, however, is why they have some sort of large, taxidermy wild cat just chilling in the corner of their dining room. It’s absolutely terrifying as it gazes away from the giant wedding portrait.
Jinger walks us into the living room/kitchen (which is huge for this area of Los Angeles. Seriously, this might be the best grift ever pulled off by a Duggar!)
“This is the kitchen,” Jinger says blandly. “It’s where we do…a lot of…cooking.”
Jeremy is sure to let the fans know that he is the male headship of this Griftery, so he doesn’t do “women’s work” and instead spends his days reading for Jesus.
“This is Jinger’s kitchen!” he proclaims as she sighs loudly. “She’s the master chef!”
Jinger says she and her oldest blessing, Felicity, frequently cook together in their colorless kitchen. (Hey, I understand, free is free but…why is everything so…manila? It’s like the kitchen is as bland as Jinger’s new FundieBot personality.)
Jeremy shows off “his” kitchen, which is basically just a table with some pour over coffee tools he
was gifted grifted from “sweet” friends.
Sadly, we don’t get to look in the fridge, which is a requirement for any ‘Cribs’ episode. (I’m sure there’s just celery for Jinger, tater tots and items wrapped in aluminum foil so that Jeremy is able to see his reflection no matter what he’s eating.)
Next, they show off their sunroom-turned-home gym.
Um…I’m all for working on my fitness but why would you want your gym right in the middle of your living room? The smell of sweat and protein powder (with a hint of desperation) would waft through the whole downstairs. I’m sure it’s a special treat for Jing to be frying up the night’s beige-colored “Helper” meal while smelling the sweet scent of Jerm’s perspirations as he does push-ups for the ‘Gram.
Jeremy says that he and Jinger like to “work out together” in their sweat room.
They keep talking about their oldest daughter, Felicity, and how much she likes playing in the sweat room. Jinger talks about all of Felicity’s toys being in there. Jeremy seems to suddenly remember they have a second child, Evie, and finally mentions her.
They show off the bathroom where they hose off after pumping iron and/or each other.
Next we head upstairs, where all the best stuff is kept. (#CloserToHeaven) We are shown another bathroom (that’s three, in case you’re counting along at home).
We get to see the master bedroom next, which is where most of the blessing-making happens. Jinger tells us that this is not supposed to be the master but they didn’t want to be downstairs and have the kids upstairs in case “the big one” hits.
OK— so are people from other states really that afraid of earthquakes? Is this a thing? That’s the one way to know that someone living in California is not from California: they constantly mentions earthquakes. I’d seriously be more afraid of Jim Bob coming to visit than an earthquake but that’s me…
Jing says that….the other kid…is still sleeping in their room because she hasn’t been moved into Felicity’s room. They say they’re ready to evict Evie (so they can starting banging away on Blessing No. 3, presumably). We see Felicity’s room (blackout curtain and all of the baby-sized denim skirt hung, ooh, ahh).
Next is Bedroom No. 3, which they stress is Jeremy’s office. (Naturally it’s Jeremy’s; after all, Jinger’s a woman and what could a woman use an office for?!)
If there’s any doubt about whose office it is, the giant portrait of Jeremy’s head (which is the first thing we see as soon as we walk through the door) will clear that right up. This thing is cheesier than a Duggar tater tot casserole after Walmart had a sale on day-old dairy.
As you may remember from the entire episode of ‘Counting On’ that was dedicated to it, Jeremy loves him some Jesus books. He loves them so much, in fact, that he has a wall-to-wall bookshelf to hold all of them.
Also shelved in the office are photos of Jeremy as a child, a painting of a shoe (naturally) and a giant taxidermy fish. (What in the Jesus God Jim Bob are all the dead animals in this house about?)
Next, we get to see what qualifies as memorabilia in the Fundie World. Jeremy shows us his framed “Charles Spurgeon” sermon that hangs prominently on his wall. In case you’re wondering why that name sounds familiar, it’s also the name of Jinger’s nephew, Spurgeon, who is the sadly named spawn of Jessa and Ben.
“It’s a pretty fascinating piece,” Jeremy says blandly.
That ends the house tour. Jeremy– who has obviously seen a few episodes of ‘MTV: Cribs’ in his time– tells us that we “don’t need to go home but you have to get out of here.” Jinger– whose only entertainment growing up was cleaning toilets in a Godly way and taking care of her siblings— has obviously never heard that frequent ‘Cribs’ expression before and thinks it’s hysterical.
That’s all for this edition of “Cribs: Fundie Edition!” You can watch the full video below!
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