Bust open the mini-bar and get ready to bare your soul (and possibly every body part you have, if you’re Big Ed)–– it’s time for another episode of 90 Day: The Last Resort!
This episode kicks off at the resort pool, where Liz and Kalani are bonding over beverages and bad relationships–– the two things on which this Porta-Potty-of-a-spinoff was built.
After Liz mentions how “flirty” Kalani and Asuelu were the previous night, Kalani says she was almost able to tolerate her husband, but only because she was drunk. Kalani goes on to fill Liz in on the fact that Asuelu has been getting his cheat on for most of their relationship. Liz says if Ed ever pulled that kind of nonsense, she’d be planning his funeral, not bringing him as a her plus one to a couple’s retreat.
Kalani tells Liz that Asuelu’s actions have secured him a spot in the friend zone, and the fact that she saw him suspiciously deleting messages on his phone that morning certainly isn’t helping things.
Kalani says Asuelu’s latest misstep convinced her to not only unblock Hall Pass Guy, but reveal for the first time on camera that his name is Dallas. According to Kalani, despite only knowing Dallas for a few months, she likes him and appreciates the fact that he’s “sweet” and knows how to communicate. Oh, and he doesn’t just bang it out with anything that has a pulse, so that’s definitely a plus.
Kalani says she’s torn over what to do. Meanwhile, Liz says Kalani’s smile while talking about Dallas indicates that she’s already made up her mind.
Next we check in with Yara and Jovi, who are on their way to see Therapist Petey for a family session, joined by Jovi’s mom, Gwen, over video chat. Before the couple sits down, Jovi tells viewers that he and Yara opted to participate in family therapy during the retreat because his mom is such a big part of their lives– -or as Yara’s face is telling us, Jovi is a big ass mama’s boy.
Once the session begins, Yara tells Petey that Jovi tells his mom everything (sometimes even before telling her) and the mother-son bond is pretty much giving her Norman-Norma Bates vibes. With Jovi busy at the retreat for the last week or so, he’s been unable to have his daily chats with his
bestie mom, so Gwen doesn’t know what’s been going on.
Petey decides the first thing Gwen needs to be caught up on is that Yara lied to Jovi about being on birth control, and Petey says Yara should be the one to do the reveal.
Gwen is completely shocked when Yara drops the birth control bomb and says her son and daughter-in-law need to communicate better.
Gwen tells Yara she can’t keep secrets from Jovi, which prompts Petey to ask Mommy Dearest if she’s observed any “trust issues” in Jovi and Yara’s marriage.
“Yes ma’am, very much,” Gwen replies, noting there are also things Jovi has said to her that she believes Yara should be privy to. Gwen claims she’s not trying to throw her
BFF son under the bus, but in the spirit of total transparency, she thinks Jovi “should come clean.”
Jovi immediately knows what his mom is referring to, and confirms as much to Petey. After some encouragement from his mother, Jovi reveals that he recently received a job offer that would allow him to work closer to home, but he didn’t take it-– nor did he ever bother mentioning it to his wife. Yara calls Jovi’s decision “selfish,” noting the issue with his job is one they’ve been dealing with since getting married.
Jovi explains that he didn’t take the new gig because it would’ve required him to work in an office instead of traveling “for months” at a time like his current job. Yara tells him that’s exactly why accepting the position would’ve made sense. She also says Jovi can’t expect her to have another kid at this time when she’d be basically left to do it alone. Jovi admits that he did consider the benefit of taking the other job, but after that consideration, (and talking to his mom, natch) he decided it wasn’t the right choice for him.
Yara says she’d never encourage Jovi to do something he didn’t want to do, but Jovi isn’t buying it and stands by his decision to turn down the job/make him mom pinky swear not to tell his wife about it. Yara says Jovi is a hypocrite for getting so pissed about her birth control secret when he’s been keeping a secret of his own. Petey advises the couple to decide what they want their “new norm of communicating to be”– preferably as fast as possible, as they only have one week left at the retreat.
Later on, the couples head into town to escape the bad vibes of the resort over dinner and drinks. Little do they know, Yara and Jovi are fresh out of therapy, still pissed off, and eager to share their relationship issues with the whole group, whether the others want to hear about it or not.
After Yara and Jovi partake in some light bickering, Jovi heads to the bar to order another drink and some shots, while Mee-Maw Angela attempts to rally the troops and salvage this night out on the
While Jovi waits for his drinks at the bar, he tells Asuelu this day has “probably been the hardest day” he’s experienced since arriving at the retreat, but he knows his marriage issues are nothing compared to what Asuelu is currently dealing with.
Asuelu tells Jovi he takes full responsibility for torching his relationship with Kalani time and time again, and claims he’s working to forgive himself for what he’s done/possibly still doing. He also acknowledges how stupid he is for doing Kalani dirty on a regular basis and says he doesn’t know what’s next for him and Kalani after they leave the retreat.
As the beachside boozing continues, Molly arrives at the restaurant without Kelly, who apparently dipped out without saying goodbye to the rest of the cast. After some speculating from the other couples, Molly reveals to them that she and Kelly are officially over and Kelly has headed home.
Molly says she’s still sad over Kelly leaving, but admits she feels a sense of relief now that he’s no longer crashing her vacay. Her alleged “relief” seems to wane, however, after she tells the group she really thought the retreat was going to help her and Kelly fix things and ultimately allow her to get her happily ever after.
Molly also tells the group that because she and Kelly came to the retreat together, it only makes sense for her to go home early, too.
“I think it would feel really awkward staying here without Kelly– kind of like I’m the ninth wheel,” she explains. “I just wanna go back home and get back to my routine.”
Molly says she’ll never give up on love, no matter how many years, relationships or reality TV shows it takes for her to finally find it.
The next day we check in with Asuelu, who is on high alert after Kalani declined his invite to breakfast and apparently unloaded their sons onto her sister, Kolini, the previous night. Asuelu is fully convinced that “something happened”– and that something isn’t a repaired marriage.
Elsewhere at the resort, Kolini arrives at Kalani’s room, eager to find out what happened herself. We then learn that Kalani left resort property the previous night, spent the night “elsewhere” and failed to return to the resort by the time her sons woke up, prompting Asuelu to “freak out” that morning. While Kolini doesn’t like being put in the middle of Kalani and Asuelu’s drama, she says she supports her sister doing what (or who) makes her happy.
Still, Kolini tells Kalani she needs to be honest with Asuelu and Kalani agrees…but not before she and the ladies enjoy a girls day away from the resort.
After the ladies arrive at their poolside destination and Angela hits on a waiter young enough to be her grandson (as you do), Yara tells Kalani she saw Asuelu that morning at the resort and he looked upset. When asked what’s going on, Kalani tells the group about her “kind of” catching Asuelu responding to/deleting messages on his phone the previous day. Kalani says innocent or not, Asuelu’s actions “triggered” her and convinced her to unblock
Hall Pass Guy Dallas.
Kalani says after she unblocked Dallas, he proceeded to contact her and confess his “real feelings.” According to Kalani’s story, Dallas was also “feeling” like he should take a trip to Key West to see her, because that’s exactly what he did.
That’s all for this episode! To read The Ashley’s recap of the previous “90 Day: The Last Resort” episode, click here.