Kail Lowry recently returned from a trip to Texas, where confronted her estranged father, Ray Lowry, on his deathbed, hoping to get answers to questions she had about her childhood and why he abandoned her. During the most-recent episode of her Karma & Chaos podcast, Kail disclosed what happened when she saw her dad face-to-face.
As fans will remember, Kail had only met her father once before— during the filming of her 16 and Pregnant episode in 2009. The meeting did not go well, and Kail did not stay in contact with Ray. In July, Kail revealed that Ray is now on hospice due to him having stage 4 chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD). She also revealed plans to fly to Ray’s home in Texas to confront him before he dies to get answers to her questions.
“I feel like you don’t get to die without answering all the questions I have,” she said in July. “ … I want to know why he left. I want to know why he didn’t try harder. I want to know why he just gave up.”
On Tuesday’s episode of Karma & Chaos Kail spoke about what happened when she arrived at her dad’s home in Texas. (Sadly, she did not reveal if Ray still has his infamous locked-up meat freezer).
“I went in there angry, and sort of not really open-minded, just more so doing it because everyone told me I’d regret it [if I didn’t],” Kail said. “I had all these conflicting feelings. I pulled into the driveway saying, ‘My dad can kiss my ass and I’m gonna tell him how I feel.’ From the time I got out of the car to the time I got to the front door, I was already crying. I was already sobbing. And then just hearing his — and I don’t want to call it his side of the story because he didn’t really tell a story— but he let me ask every single question I had.”
Kail then showed her co-host Becky Hayer her notes from the visit, which she entitled “Death Bed Questions.”
Kail previously revealed that her father was on oxygen, but was “having a good day” when she came to visit.
“You could tell he was getting pretty winded for the longer answers,” she said, adding that she filmed “everything from my point of view.”
“You can hear his voice but you can’t see him,” Kail said of her footage from the trip. “I’m going to post them because I really think this could help somebody.”
Kail stated that she learned a lot from visiting her dad, including that her mom Suzi (whom she is also estranged from) had lied to her during her childhood and teen years about not knowing where Ray was.
“My mom had his phone number the whole time! My mom was in contact with him the whole time,” Kail said. “In fact [she] called him while I was there [during my ’16 and Pregnant’ episode] and said, ‘So, what do you think?'”
Kail stated that she does feel “lighter” since visiting her father.
“When I left, it was so interesting because he was like, ‘You still look mad,'” Kail said.
Kail said that, while she wasn’t feeling mad at her dad any longer, she was still processing everything.
“It’s just, like, a lot,” she said. “I spent essentially 30 years of my life being so angry and so mad, that it’s not going to, like, go away overnight. However, I visited him I guess five days ago. There are no regrets. There are no questions I wish I had asked that I didn’t ask. There were no answers I wasn’t satisfied with. I feel lighter, I feel more at peace. I feel forgiveness for him. I think all my anger was very misplaced. He did what he could for what he had, but he didn’t have a whole lot.
“My mom’s family was rallying around her to make sure I was good. My dad didn’t have that. My dad was by himself and he was trying,” Kail continued. “He went to every single court date regarding me for the first two years. Then he got a final order [saying] that he had to stay away from me. I didn’t know that. I didn’t know there was a court order to stay away. At that point, like, what could he do? He could’ve called but my mom moved around so much it’s possible that she had his phone number but he didn’t have hers.”
“Overall, I am so glad that I went. I’m glad my sister was able to go, and I’m glad my aunt was able to coordinate the visit. I have no regrets at all and I hope to be able to go see him one more time before he dies,” Kail added.
The former ‘Teen Mom’ star said she was encouraged by her sister to next go find her mom, Suzi, whom she hasn’t seen for years.
Last year, Kail spoke on one of her podcasts about her estrangement from Suzi, stating that she feels badly for cutting Suzi out of her life. (As ‘Teen Mom 2’ fans will remember, Kail has had a very strained relationship with Suzi for the majority of her life, due in part to Suzi’s alcoholism. Suzi has only met two of Kail’s seven kids because of this.)
“The guilt has eaten me alive,” Kail said. “…Like, I cut off my own mom by choice, and it eats me alive every single day.”
Back in January 2024, Kail revealed on one of her podcasts that Suzi tried to contact her via Facebook message after Kail spoke about her mom on a podcast.
“I think [the message said], ‘I love you, and I always will,’ or something like that…It took me a minute, but I messaged her back, ‘Then how could you walk this earth knowing that you have all these grandkids and you don’t care?’” Kail said. “And her response to that really pissed me off. Because she goes back and forth with [taking] accountability [for her past actions].
“She was like, ‘And your life? Walk a mile.’ And I was like, ‘Ma’am, you made my life hard. You very much f**ked me up. You chose whatever your life [was going to be].’ To this day, from all accounts that I have gotten about my mom’s life, my mom did not live a very difficult life. My mom chose a difficult [life]. She went down a path that ultimately…contributed to the life she’s living now.
“…I don’t understand how you can say ‘Walk a mile’ when you chose that,” Kail continued.
Kail’s interaction with her mom was short-lived, as Kail stated that Suzi ended up blocking her on Facebook.
RELATED STORY: Kail Lowry Reveals Plan to Confront Her Dying Estranged Father on His Deathbed: “You Don’t Get to Die Without Giving Me Answers”
(Photos: MTV)
40 Responses
At some point, and ALL these “Teen Mom” “stars” are there, YOU are responsible for your own life and your own crappy decisions. and BTW, odds your your parents endured offed up parenting of their own. GROW UP, you can understand how your parents may have influenced who you view lief, but it’s YOUR LIFE, act like it.
Wow put a beard and mustache on Kail and you get her dad lol. Twins! As for Suzy, honestly Kail doesn’t know her mom’s life and what traumas she’s possibly been through in her life. I know she grew up in a well off family, but that doesn’t always mean everything. Mentally and emotionally healthy people don’t abandon their kids and become raging alcoholics, so there’s something in my opinion that happened to Suzy that she’s running away from. Kail really does need to walk a mile in her mom’s shoes. Just because other people say she had a good life with no issues doesn’t mean that it’s necessarily true 🤷🏽♀️ Kail doesn’t have to be best friends with her mom, but maybe she can get a better understanding of her.
Everyone is so happy that she got closure, blah blah blah. But what about her father that had to go through all of this and on his deathbed no less. She didn’t care if she traumatized a dying man as long as it got her what she wanted (attention, sympathy, content for her fraud cast).
Harassing someone on their death bed is unconscionable. Period.
Rinse and Repeat.
Kail is doing the exact same thing to the kids she has by Chris.
Good for you kail! I’m glad you got some peace and I hope this is a path to healing some of the damage.
Waaaa..waaa..waaa. She had trauma in her childhood. Well join the crowd. I find this woman’s very existence to be repulsive.
If you had severe trauma isn your childhood, you would probably be more understanding. I grew up with a narcissist and an absolutely terrifying man. I found out he wasn’t my “real” dad when I was 12. My mom’s response “well you never asked.” I tried to take my life at 14. My mom took me out of therapy, because she knew I would out them about what was going on. I’m guessing you probably didn’t experience things like that. Or you’d be more understanding.
It makes sense to me that she believed her mom’s narrative and didn’t question it. This story is so sad. The fact that she went in planning to confront him and then felt compassion for him, to me implies she’s actually not a monster. I don’t think you can understand why she wanted to confront him unless you’ve had an absent parent, the anger is totally understandable – we are biologically programmed to want our parent’s love. Had to read the part about recording it twice. I hate the social media / influencer culture of cataloging everything from the mundane to the deeply personal. So unhealthy. Maybe she wanted all of these kids from a fear of loss, and a resulting need to feel surrounded.
I agree.
I’m glad he was able to tell her the truth before he passed, I’m glad she was able to hear it, and I hope that it left them both more at peace.
Her mother didn’t choose alcoholism. No one wakes up dreaming of the day they will be addicted to vodka with no family because of all the poor choices it led to. I’m not saying enable addiction. Kail definitely has the right to be upset about her childhood being far less than perfect because she absolutely does. However, her mother didn’t choose or wish to be an alcoholic or even a poor mother. I’m confident that when she has a sober, quiet moment to reflect she wishes she had made better choices. If it were someone I loved, I would open those lines of communication because recovery is possible.
That’s a weird thing to be confident about when Suzie has never shown one ounce of regret for the abuse and neglect she inflicted on Kail.
You don’t even know if she was a good person before the alcoholism.
Actually, kail has said before that when her mom is sober she is an awesome person. Which I usually what loved one’s say.
Therapy, she needs years of therapy. But nope, she chose to have 7 kids by, hell, I’ve lost count of all the men that made sperms deposits. Passing on her trauma to her kids. Great job! All the money in the world to afford therapy, but chose to mess up 7 kids lives with her garbage. If I hear, oh but she’s a good mom one more time, Im going to vomit. She’s a crappy person and a shitty parent. She’s trying to make make a bunch of humans, that will love her like her parents should have done. It doesn’t work like that.
Im glad Kail got some answers she was looking for. It sounds like it was very beneficial for her. It could have gone badly, as his reasons weren’t known. Very odd to record the conversation for the public, though.
This is a sad situation all around, so I’m going to try and lighten the mood a bit.
If you put a cell phone in Ray’s hand in the photo of him driving, it is basically Kail with a mustache.
Kail, You’re bit of a drama queen. You deserve closure. I believe you got it. Good on you.
Why in the world would she post such a private & personal conversation?! She comes off extraordinarily desperate for any content she can post. Help somebody, sure ok, keep telling yourself that!
Gotta love when people constantly post about themselves and say “I hope this helps somebody”… No, you wanted to post yet ANOTHER post of yourself and try to justify it somehow by saying you are hoping your post will in some weird way, help someone… I can’t stand it.
idk why yall are like this deadbeat is this poor victim like yall don’t normally crucify other deadbeat parents like amber on the daily
@vp ~ um, no one is supporting this dude ray, but rather criticizing kail 🥬 (rightfully so) for exploiting what should be private family convos for content.
Thanks for sorting this out a bit, I couldn’t figure out what the fuck this girl was even saying!! I mean come on! I think I counted 4 or 5 sentences that don’t stop or make any sense. Guess she never heard of punctuation! LOL!
I speak as a southerner when I say this. There are too many y’all’s and likes in your post to be able to read it clearly or take it seriously. This reads like a redneck valley girl wrote it.
Yes, you just read my mind. I can’t understand why anyone is “down-thumbing” you. For God’s sake, grown ass adults who can’t be bothered to write a decent sentence, and if we criticize it, everyone turns into a do-gooder.
First, he’s dying, life is already crucifying him. Second, no one is sticking up for him, no one has ever said it’s okay that he pretty much abandoned his kids. Third, as Kail pointed out, the story she (and we) thought was correct, was not, so he may not be the deadbeat people think he is (again, as Kail pointed out). Fourth, Kail is the one being judged here, because she’s the one that made this big to do about confronting a dying man and how badass she was going to be about it. She’s been talking about it for months and how much she intended to “give it to him”. Now her tail is tucked because she never bothered, before now, to get the actual story about why he left and was never around. Why she believed the mother she’s estranged from, a known alcoholic with all sorts of problems, and never bothered looking for herself…we will never know.
It’s shitty to use someone’s death bed as your platform for engagement and making money, it just is, doesn’t even matter who you, or they, are. She’s rightfully getting shit for that. Lastly…she left all 58 of her kids to go make this trip, again on the basis that she was going to be this big badass bitch and give a dying man who could barely function most days, a good what for…..You see nothing wrong with that?
@President+of+the+Peanut+Gallery I have to say that I always appreciate what you have to say in general but specifically about Kail. You are spot on. I think when someone is on their deathbed, that I would go to them and let them know for MY sake, and honestly theirs as well, I forgive them. Not to sit and interrogate the man who can hardly talk because even that is difficult for him in the state of health he’s in.
She filmed it not to help anyone but to use it as content. Shes sick.
You have to be really sick in the head to record a dying man and plan to post it on social media for clicks…
It said in the article, she didn’t have any camera on him.
No she just recorded his voice so she can use it on her PODCAST. It’s just as shitty as recording his face while recording his voice.
It’s sad that Kail was born into such a poor situation but glad she went through meeting with her dad and heard out what he had to say. Hopefully now this can lead to some healing.
say what yall want but kail and her sister visiting their dad was the best thing they could’ve done for themselves and hopefully helps them a lot and even makes people think about contacting their sh!tty parents as well, i didn’t even understand why yall were shaming her for not letting him die in peace and how she “had all that time” like the same didn’t apply to the deadbeat parent yall were defending
So Kail is aware that her mother made choices that impacted Kail’s life. And that Suzie made the choices. Yet Kail won’t understand that the choices she keeps making impacts her kids. And that they ARE choices. Interesting…
oh FFS ~ she actually went through with it? i just assumed the whole thing, per usual, was a typical kail 🥬 attn grab. 🤷🏼♀️
now, off to read the article! 📕🤓
I’m really glad she went. It could’ve gone really poorly, especially considering she just went to tell him to go to hell, but she got some of the answers she was looking for and I hope that helps her going forward. It’s obvious that she’s got a boatload of both mommy & daddy issues, but maybe this meeting will go a ways toward resolving some of those. As far as finding out that Suzi lied her ass off for years….well, that’s not a shock. Too bad, though, cause Kail’s life, specifically, her own romantic relationships, could’ve been really different. 😕
Most of the time I find her insufferable and her motives for recording the conversation and sharing it on her podcast are questionable. But it’s hard to not look past all of the hurt her parents caused her and it explains a lot of who she is. Really depressing how her dad treated her in 16&P when he could have stepped up and helped her. I get why she wanted to confront him, although shockingly it sounded more like it was a civilized conversation.
In a weird way she’s repeating the cycle by having so many kids and baby daddies, even though she hasn’t abandoned her kids.
But tough to keep up with all of the drama in her life. One day she’s having major cosmetic surgery and then she’s off to TX. Are ALL 7 kids with their fathers fairly frequently?
Exactly. Shoot, I am a single mom of three and I can hardly get a routine gyno appointment that might take about 30 minutes max, scheduled because of my 9-5, side floral design job, and my kids schedules… Yet Kail, who has SEVEN children, can have these major surgeries where she literally should not even be moving for about a week at the least… WTF