Tyler Baltierra is opening up about how being cut off from his bio daughter Carly for the last two years has affected his other daughters, and how he explains the situation to them in a way they can understand.
The Teen Mom star appeared on the Cake For Dinner podcast on Monday to talk about Carly (whom he and his wife Catelynn Lowell placed for adoption at her birth in 2009). Tyler also spoke about his grievances with adoption in general.
Tyler stated that, despite Carly’s parents, Brandon and Teresa Davis, closing Carly’s adoption in 2024 and not permitting them to communicate with her since— she is still a topic of conversation in his home among him and his three daughters Nova, Vaeda and Rya.
“We have pictures of Carly in our house. I refuse to just bury her. I will not do that,” Tyler said. “I think that’s a huge disservice not only to Carly but it’s a huge disservice to my girls [at home] because that’s their sister.”
Eleven-year-old Nova is old enough to remember the family’s visits with Carly, which— according to Tyler— makes her ask questions about the current situation with Carly and her parents.
“She’s the oldest so she has the most memories. She’s the one that kind of talks about it the most and says that she misses her and she wants to see her and stuff,” Tyler said. “All I say is that when [Carly] can [come see us] maybe she will. I don’t want to build up too much hope for her in the case that Carly wants nothing to do with her sisters. I don’t think that’s going to happen but it could.”
Tyler said that he treats the situation as a “grief and loss thing.”
“It’s one of those things where it’s like, ‘Yeah, this is really sad. This is hard. This is what grieving looks like,'” he said. “And I just keep using that template. It’s the only way in my head that makes sense. I won’t shy away from it… Nova is very wise and pretty smart. She knows that our family life [when Carly was born] wasn’t the best.”
Tyler said that, despite everything, Carly is doing well and he tries to tell his daughter that.
“I always make sure to tell her that, ‘Even though you see Mom and Dad upset and crying, Carly’s got a great life and she’s got everything that we wanted for her. We can feel two things at the same time. We can feel sad for ourselves and really happy for her,'” he said.
Catelynn and Tyler have long been accused of fixating on the fact that they placed Carly for adoption years ago, and ‘Teen Mom’ fans have called out the couple for seemingly encouraging Nova to join in on these conversations. During an episode of Tyler and Catelynn’s podcast last month, Cate made an effort to quash the accusations by asking Nova if Carly is a constant topic of conversation in the Baltierra home, or if Catelynn and Tyler have ever forced her to partake in discussions about her bio sister.
“That is not true. That is not accurate at all,” Nova told Catelynn, adding that they hardly bring up Carly at home.
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Anyway, during Monday’s podcast interview, Tyler spoke about the current status of his relationship with Carly— which apparently hasn’t changed since he and Cate last filmed for Teen Mom: The Next Chapter almost a year ago.
“As far as a relationship goes [with Carly], we don’t really have one,” he said. “I set up an email for her that me and Cate will write to. And that’s pretty much the only way that we’re maintaining any kind of communication. After her parents closed the adoption, we figured, ‘Hey, if we set up an email to her and write to it, and then one day if she ever wants it, we can give her the log-in and the password and she can kind of just, you know, go through the email herself. So that’s pretty much the only way we have.
“If I’m thinking about her that day— and it can be short or long— I’ll kind of send pictures of her sisters and stuff in the email to keep her updated, because that was a promise that we made when we relinquished her,” he continued. “We said, ‘We’re gonna make sure to let her know that she’s not just forgotten about.’… but as far as communication goes, as far as a relationship goes, that’s in Carly’s— that’s up to her.”
Tyler insisted that he and Catelynn have accepted the fact that Carly may not want anything to do with them once she turns 18 and doesn’t need her parents’ permission to contact them.
“She might not even like us which is OK. That’s fine,” he said. “As a birth parent, my duty is to be there to answer the questions she has as an adoptee. She is owed that, and I think she deserves to have those things because, like I said, she’s the only one who is affected the most, and also had no consent to this at all.
“My feeling is that, if she comes to us one day, my job is to bow my head, fold my hands behind my back and agree with her and just tell her that I love her and say, ‘I’m sorry, I love you,’ regardless of what she has to say.”
Click here to listen to Tyler’s full interview with Cake For Dinner.
UPDATE! In a comment left on the account of @Rei_Clarke on Instagram, Tyler spoke more about why he has chosen to handle the situation with his daughters the way he does.
“…I just tell them that Carly’s parents don’t think it’s a good idea for us to be involved anymore,” he wrote. “I refuse to lie to my children when they ask about their biological sister. Some [people] will criticize my transparency and that’s fine. But I will not rob my children of the dignity to comprehend complex things. I will always explain things to them at an age-appropriate level.”
He also responded to someone who told him it’s unfortunate that Brandon and Teresa feel the way they do.
“It is what it is,” Tyler wrote. “As much as I believe I’m right as a parent (to be honest and transparent at an age-appropriate level with my children), [Carly’s parents] believe they’re doing right by their child by not having us or her bio sisters involved. One thing we can agree on though, is that yes, it’s very unfortunate.”
(Photos: MTV; Instagram; YouTube)
45 Responses
As young kids, I don’t feel that Cate and Tyler had the best understanding of what an open adoption truly was. Obviously, all the adults around these two when they were younger did not help them with that either. When they got older, I feel they knew the boundaries etc. that were expected of them and a better understanding of what the “open adoption” meant. If I remember correctly, Brandon and Teresa felt they wanted it to be more of a private relationship instead of all the publicity talk, the show etc. Tyler and Cate have enough common sense to realize that if they didn’t respect this and other things that the adoption would be closed. From the side of Brandon and Teresa, I feel they have given enough chances for Tyler and Cate to respect their wishes as well and not cut off contact or close the door on the relationship. I still feel Tyler and Cate have been misled with either counseling they are receiving or are just too self absorbed to see anything aside from their own views. Transparency and keeping this child appropriate when talking to kids is fine, yet if you are being transparent with them you also have to admit your own faults and mistakes as well. Transparency does not mean telling the other sides part while painting them as a villain or the bad guy. He needs to pull out an introduction to Psychology 101 book and look up the definitions of these “fancy” words he is throwing out there cause it is not the what he is saying. If Tyler and Cate have any respect with Carly (sans Brandon/Teresa), they would realize she is a teen, she understands, she reads things, etc. They are not doing that. They are treating her 18th bday as a countdown like that is going to be the day they can just show up at her house and speak to her on their own etc. Carly has her own feelings thoughts and read on the whole situation. If I were her, change your name, move, and hide from these two because they have not grown or learned anything from this and are not handling it like adults. They need better help.
I would not allow Tyler and Cate around any kids. At best, they’re bitter, resentful adults who act like petulant teenagers – they’re emotionally stunted at 14 or 15 and act accordingly.
I sympathized with them until they began their constant public rant and began stalking Carly and her friends. At this point, Carly’s parents should get a restraining order and take this to court so a judge can tell T & C just how outrageous their behavior is – I doubt they believe anyone else, so maybe someone impartial with experience and credentials will have the credibility to make them see jus how much damage they’re doing to Carly and their daughters.
I actually like Tyler and Cate and appreciate all of the ways they try to thoughtfully parent their kids.
However, it’s hard to imagine two people more blind to their own consequences. Disrespecting Carly’s parents wishes repeatedly for YEARS got them and their girls here. They put everyone in a bad spot. It’s painful to watch and I kind of wonder if it’ll ever hit them. I think Tyler will get it at some point and man, that isgoing hurt.
Tyler will NEVER “get it,” because he loves to stir up shit for money, interviews and attention. He’s an immature dumb-ass and a lousy father.
I feel like this is what happens when it’s an open adoption. The adoption should’ve been closed from the beginning. With no visits or communication. Because not only is an open adoption hard on the child and the birth parents, but is also hard on the siblings as well. People are angry about the email thing and why? It’s actually quite common for all parents to do; it’s a good way to let out your emotions as well as it being like a digital scrapbook. Filled with letters, pictures, etc. You give the account to the child at 18. And if that child is adopted, they can choose whether or not to pursue a relationship with their biological parents from there.
I just don’t like them using Nova, bringing her in with this. She’s an innocent child and almost feels like their using her to guilt trip Brandon, Theresa and Carly too. B&T aren’t saints either and kinda do hope Carly will go to college far away from both sets of parents, somewhere secret that the public won’t know, so she can have a peaceful college life away from family and Teen Mom fame/fans.
Tyler, Tyler, Tyler. Too dense to understand that these girls will eventually be curious enough to do deep-dives and find a treasure trove of bullshit you & your wife put all of them through. Hopefully they aren’t too brainwashed to get with a good therapist who helps them navigate the messiness and realize Tyler & Cate are total shitbags in regard to exploiting every single one of those children for any amount of money they could get their hands on.
I don’t wish that their kids cut them off but if they do, Ty & Cate can only blame themselves for it. Which they won’t do. They’ll throw every one of those kids under the bus before they EVER admit they’re wrong or were emotionally shitty parents.
I wonder if these whiny lazy losers will also tell their kids about his porny Onlyfans? Can’t imagine why Carly’s parents cut off all contact……
And that their FA mom told him to do it so she wouldn’t have to get a real job.
I hope when Carly is old enough to decide if she wants to reach out to her bio family, that if it’s just to her siblings… T & C don’t manipulate the girls into trying to get Carly to include them. “We have to be there, you can’t see them without us there” kind of thing, or if they do let them don’t coach the younger ones on things to ask and stuff.
Me me me me….. you had to give a child up because you were not cautious thinking only of me me me, then when she was adopted by a wonderful family and the kept you from hurting her you never thought of your daughter, me me me, was all you considered. You are far to childish an irresponsible to be a parent to anyone!
Right?! Tyler always thinks he and Cate are the most important people in this equation. I think they even see Carly as some sort of possession they can’t have at this point.
OMFG these two idiots are suck a broken record!!!!!!!!! They literally can’t shut their mouths about it for 5 effing seconds!!!! Jesus Christ the world has heard enough about their stupid feelings. MOVE ON!
They don’t have a story line and they haven’t had one in years. We are all part of the problem, if no one would comment on any of their bullshit lies stories they would have too eventually disappear. Tyler and Catelyn are both liars I bet the other kids never ask these questions about Carly. B and T did the right thing cutting them off completely, those two are so toxic.
Tyler, remember the Internet is forever. Your daughters are just a Google search away from seeing ALL your actions and behaviors regarding Carly and her adoption
Poor Carly.
He’s just so sure that Carly is going to be angry that they placed her for adoption. After all, she didn’t consent to it. 🙄 Pretty sure she will watch Teen Mom and be grateful and relieved!
Right. He just assumes that Carly will be resentful and angry about the adoption. They’ve built up a really bizarre and self-centered narrative in their heads about this whole thing.
I imagine Carly is missing out on a lot in life. Two biological parents who are unemployed, an aunt who suffers from addiction, two grandparents who clearly suffer from addiction with one being in and out of prison, and a teenage uncle who’s girlfriend just had a baby.
There is nothing positive about this family. Generational dysfunction and thank god the choice was made to place her up for adoption.
Can Cate and Tyler not see that what they had to offer was nothing in relation to what Theresa and Brandon had to offer. If only they could have continued the relationship in a more positive way. Constant communication. They didn’t do that and that was by their own admission. I still remember her being late because she was “making a scrapbook”.
Move on you two and focus on the three daughters you do have and not the one who is not yours.
Why are these two so stupid?!
Stop talking about a child that is not yours!!! Flippin creeps. You made a choice, actually several, that have landed you where you are today. Contact was cut off because of your stupid actions, lack of maturity and lack of self control. Go get jobs.
Amen to everything you said! They are drama queens who won’t stop harassing their bio daughter and the adoptive parents. Are they deliberately trying to make Carly’s life difficult? Leave the kid alone and let her enjoy her teen years with the family she has known and loves since infancy…you two have three kids to raise…try concentrating on them. And I agree…go get a job. Podcasting isn’t a job.
u made an email for carly???? bsffr tyler, and they STILL don’t think they’re a problem??
I swear they probably have a countdown clock for her 18th bday up in their house. They really have an unhealthy obsession and thought process about ALL of this
Does he have a job yet? Does his wife? Time to finally get to work, this show has made yall weirdos
Heck, if Tyler can explain to his daughters why he hasn’t held a real job in his life, explaining the Carly situation should be a cakewalk.
Involving these kids in their feelings about Carly’s adoption is just so incredibly inappropriate! Tyler is trying to say everything “right” to get them back on the show before it’s officially cancelled, but the damage is done.
Carly is probably going to have to get a restraining order along with a cease and desist order to keep these to away from her. They are going to keep using her name to make them money until she takes legal action.
Carly would very unlikely have the grounds for a restraining order. A cease and desist order is not something legally enforceable in any way.
am i misremembering, or did these ingrates announce (a while back) that they were going to refrain from publicly discussing carly?
THAT seems to be going well, no? 🙄🙄
This is an incredibly ADULT situation. There is legitimately no need to even have the kids know about Carly until they are old enough to semi understand. No reason to raise kids thinking they have a long lost kidnapped sister. How do they not see how damaging this is? Imagine being 35 and still not developing an emotional maturity skill.
I totally disagree with Tyler and Cate constantly talking about Carly (and so many other things they do), but I think it’s wild to suggest that they should not tell their other daughters about her until they’re grown. That would be a shocking thing to reveal years later. Like with adoption, it’s better to be honest about the fact that the adoption happened.
My mom went on ancestry and found 3 adopted siblings. Talk about shocking. We found out my MIL placed a child also. Wild stuff and a lot of hurt feelings.
Old enough to semi understand, not fully grown. Like, not 3 or 4 years old as they have done with their kids.
5, 6 years old is more equipped emotionally than a 3/4 year old to handle such a concept of a sibling adopted out.
I don’t think the evidence backs you on this. Also, they have three kids and their youngest is 4. It’s not like they could make Nova keep it a secret all these years just because they have younger children. Also, this was an open adoption.
I don’t like having to defend these two clowns, but telling their younger girls that Carly exists is not one of their (many) mistakes.
That’s not what they said though. They said they shouldn’t have been involved until they were old enough to semi understand.
Nope. They very clearly said the kids shouldn’t have even known about Carly:
“There is legitimately no need to even have the kids know about Carly until they are old enough to semi understand.”
Like Tyler and Cate would miss a chance from running their mouths about poor Carly. They’ll still be milking the situation when the poor girl is 35.
I blame Tyler’s mom too, she pushed so hard for them.to give up Carly, she didn’t care that they were ONLY 16 and could deeply regret it later. And they did.
Carly has a good life, their regrets are selfish and their behavior is incredibly disturbing
The way he describes himself explaining this to his daughters sounds SO manipulative and damaging. And he is 100% hoping Carly hears his words and feels guilted into reaching out to them
As if Ty will actually do that if Carly comes to them with grievances one day 🙄
He will blame B&T and tell her to go to therapy to deal with it.
Always thought this too. Guaranteed if Carly. Comes to them and tells them she wants nothing to do with them, neither he or Caitlynn are going to accept it the way they claim they would and will instead whine and cry about this being Brandon and Theresa’s fault
Wonder if he tells the girls this is his and Cait’s fault.
Ha, them owning responsibility for their actions?
But i get your point. I wonder when they will start looking stuff up online, and what a crappy situation to be in. Having to look up family secret S in online gossip spaces, but him n Cate will.just.NOT.shut.up.
loud sigh
Not shying away from it means you admit to them you and Caitlynn were stalkers and that’s why you have no contact with her. I doubt that’s what you’re saying, though.