Tyler Baltierra is opening up about how being cut off from his bio daughter Carly for the last two years has affected his other daughters, and how he explains the situation to them in a way they can understand.
The Teen Mom star appeared on the Cake For Dinner podcast on Monday to talk about Carly (whom he and his wife Catelynn Lowell placed for adoption at her birth in 2009). Tyler also spoke about his grievances with adoption in general.
Tyler stated that, despite Carly’s parents, Brandon and Teresa Davis, closing Carly’s adoption in 2024 and not permitting them to communicate with her since— she is still a topic of conversation in his home among him and his three daughters Nova, Vaeda and Rya.
“We have pictures of Carly in our house. I refuse to just bury her. I will not do that,” Tyler said. “I think that’s a huge disservice not only to Carly but it’s a huge disservice to my girls [at home] because that’s their sister.”
Eleven-year-old Nova is old enough to remember the family’s visits with Carly, which— according to Tyler— makes her ask questions about the current situation with Carly and her parents.
“She’s the oldest so she has the most memories. She’s the one that kind of talks about it the most and says that she misses her and she wants to see her and stuff,” Tyler said. “All I say is that when [Carly] can [come see us] maybe she will. I don’t want to build up too much hope for her in the case that Carly wants nothing to do with her sisters. I don’t think that’s going to happen but it could.”
Tyler said that he treats the situation as a “grief and loss thing.”
“It’s one of those things where it’s like, ‘Yeah, this is really sad. This is hard. This is what grieving looks like,'” he said. “And I just keep using that template. It’s the only way in my head that makes sense. I won’t shy away from it… Nova is very wise and pretty smart. She knows that our family life [when Carly was born] wasn’t the best.”
Tyler said that, despite everything, Carly is doing well and he tries to tell his daughter that.
“I always make sure to tell her that, ‘Even though you see Mom and Dad upset and crying, Carly’s got a great life and she’s got everything that we wanted for her. We can feel two things at the same time. We can feel sad for ourselves and really happy for her,'” he said.
Catelynn and Tyler have long been accused of fixating on the fact that they placed Carly for adoption years ago, and ‘Teen Mom’ fans have called out the couple for seemingly encouraging Nova to join in on these conversations. During an episode of Tyler and Catelynn’s podcast last month, Cate made an effort to quash the accusations by asking Nova if Carly is a constant topic of conversation in the Baltierra home, or if Catelynn and Tyler have ever forced her to partake in discussions about her bio sister.
“That is not true. That is not accurate at all,” Nova told Catelynn, adding that they hardly bring up Carly at home.
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Anyway, during Monday’s podcast interview, Tyler spoke about the current status of his relationship with Carly— which apparently hasn’t changed since he and Cate last filmed for Teen Mom: The Next Chapter almost a year ago.
“As far as a relationship goes [with Carly], we don’t really have one,” he said. “I set up an email for her that me and Cate will write to. And that’s pretty much the only way that we’re maintaining any kind of communication. After her parents closed the adoption, we figured, ‘Hey, if we set up an email to her and write to it, and then one day if she ever wants it, we can give her the log-in and the password and she can kind of just, you know, go through the email herself. So that’s pretty much the only way we have.
“If I’m thinking about her that day— and it can be short or long— I’ll kind of send pictures of her sisters and stuff in the email to keep her updated, because that was a promise that we made when we relinquished her,” he continued. “We said, ‘We’re gonna make sure to let her know that she’s not just forgotten about.’… but as far as communication goes, as far as a relationship goes, that’s in Carly’s— that’s up to her.”
Tyler insisted that he and Catelynn have accepted the fact that Carly may not want anything to do with them once she turns 18 and doesn’t need her parents’ permission to contact them.
“She might not even like us which is OK. That’s fine,” he said. “As a birth parent, my duty is to be there to answer the questions she has as an adoptee. She is owed that, and I think she deserves to have those things because, like I said, she’s the only one who is affected the most, and also had no consent to this at all.
“My feeling is that, if she comes to us one day, my job is to bow my head, fold my hands behind my back and agree with her and just tell her that I love her and say, ‘I’m sorry, I love you,’ regardless of what she has to say.”
Click here to listen to Tyler’s full interview with Cake For Dinner.
(Photos: MTV; Instagram; YouTube)
8 Responses
Involving these kids in their feelings about Carly’s adoption is just so incredibly inappropriate! Tyler is trying to say everything “right” to get them back on the show before it’s officially cancelled, but the damage is done.
am i misremembering, or did these ingrates announce (a while back) that they were going to refrain from publicly discussing carly?
THAT seems to be going well, no? 🙄🙄
This is an incredibly ADULT situation. There is legitimately no need to even have the kids know about Carly until they are old enough to semi understand. No reason to raise kids thinking they have a long lost kidnapped sister. How do they not see how damaging this is? Imagine being 35 and still not developing an emotional maturity skill.
Like Tyler and Cate would miss a chance from running their mouths about poor Carly. They’ll still be milking the situation when the poor girl is 35.
I blame Tyler’s mom too, she pushed so hard for them.to give up Carly, she didn’t care that they were ONLY 16 and could deeply regret it later. And they did.
The way he describes himself explaining this to his daughters sounds SO manipulative and damaging. And he is 100% hoping Carly hears his words and feels guilted into reaching out to them
As if Ty will actually do that if Carly comes to them with grievances one day 🙄
He will blame B&T and tell her to go to therapy to deal with it.
Wonder if he tells the girls this is his and Cait’s fault.