Despite repeatedly speaking out about his birth daughter Carly’s adoptive parents, Brandon and Teresa Davis, Tyler Baltierra says he also feels sympathy for them, as he believes they were victims of the American adoption industry just as he was.
During a recent interview with Dr. Kristin Kirkland for his Cate and Ty Break It Down! podcast, the ‘Teen Mom’ star spoke about the pitfalls of the American adoption industry, and shared his thoughts that people looking to adopt a child should first grieve the idea of having a child of their own before they’re allowed to bring an adopted child into their home.
Tyler, along with his wife Catelynn Lowell, has been very outspoken against the adoption industry in recent years. However, despite being cut off by Carly’s parents in 2024, Tyler said he still feels bad for Brandon and Teresa.
“When we share our story or share things about adoption, people get very defensive of the daughter we relinquished and her parents,” Tyler said. “And it’s like, I also feel that they are also a victim of this industry. And I don’t say that lightly because I feel like they had gone through their own grief and loss.”
Tyler stated that the adoption industry in America encourages infertile couples to just adopt rather than deal with the loss their infertility causes them to feel.
“I think the adoption industry kind of pushes more towards [telling adoptive parents], ‘Well, the solution to your infertility is adoption’ instead of, “Hey let’s get you into therapy for that,'” he said.
Tyler stated that when people say they can’t have children, his “immediate thought” is to say, “Well, you go to therapy for that.”
“Like, you go and you kind of dissect that grief and loss,” he said.
Tyler stated that infertile couples should be encouraged to go to therapy to grieve and deal with the loss of the idea of having their own children, rather than go to the adoption agency.
“My immediate thought is, well, you go to therapy [to deal with infertility].” Tyler said. “Like you go and you kind of dissect that grief and loss.
“Because I don’t want to minimize the loss that prospective adoptive parents feel when they can’t have children. I just feel like in this country, in this system, what are we prioritizing here? Are we prioritizing their inability to have children or are we going to prioritize the
innocent infant who’s being separated [from his birth parents] and doesn’t know what’s going on?”
Tyler noted that he and Catelynn spent the first three years after Carly’s adoption advocating for the concept of adoption. However, he feels like he should have spent that time grieving the loss of Carly rather than championing an industry he knew little about.
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“We went around the country talking about how great [adoption] was,” Tyler said. ” And, you know, Bethany Christian Services made pamphlets, and we went and spoke to universities about it. And, you know, me and Cate years later realized we were so numb and operating in that [space of adoption is] beautiful. It’s amazing…. we didn’t even really get time to…grieve the way that we felt like we were probably supposed to.”
He suspects that Brandon and Teresa— as well as other adoptive parents— experienced a similar situation.
“They [should be] able to, like, sit with that and grieve in their own way before jumping right into, ‘Well, I can’t have my own kid, so I’m just going to go adopt,'” he said.
Tyler and Dr. Kirkland agreed that people looking to adopt should undergo counseling before proceeding with an adoption.
“I absolutely think that those who adopt due to infertility, yes, absolutely [should go to counseling first],” Dr. Kirkland said, adding that infertility is one of the biggest motivators for couples to adopt. “… I think grief counseling can be really scary, but I think that it is absolutely necessary.”
Later in the podcast episode, Dr. Kirkland shared that her biological mother passed when she was very young, prompting her and Tyler to discuss the concept of bio parents waiting until the child turns 18 and contacts them.
“I know me and Cate get a lot of push-back as far as like [people saying], ‘Oh, wait until [Carly] is 18 and all this kind of stuff for her to reach out,'” Tyler said. “And it’s one of those things where it’s like, the more I’m hearing stories, it’s like, waiting to 18, that doesn’t work for a lot of people.”
Tyler stated that having an adoptee find out their biological parent(s) have passed away is a “huge loss” for them, even if they have no relationship with their bio parents.
“It’s the loss of the unknown,” he said. “…I think that is a lifelong pain that can never really be fulfilled or fixed or anything. So I think it’s important that we kind of prioritize adoptees— even when they’re minors, even when they’re younger [over infertile couples wanting to adopt].”
“Because— adoptive parents— I really believe that your duty is to not raise this child like you would [raise] a biological child, because they’re not,” he added. “And I think it’s kind of unfair to try to raise an adopted child the same as you would a biological child because it’s not the same, you know?”
You can listen to Tyler’s full interview with Dr. Kirkland here.
Good grief does he ever shut up. Therapy, therapy pigs, three not-carlys, plenty of $$, no real job, D list mtv celebrity status, hasn’t helped them yet he feels the need to share his “expertise”. He’s gonna lose what’s left of his mind when she turns 18 and his phone doesn’t ring.
SHUT UP ABOUT CARLY, B&T and the adoption and get more of your own therapy!!!
OMG, he’s such an asshole! Where would he be without the show? Would he and Cate have had time for 24/7 therapy, podcasts, “appearances”, “experts”, vacations, therapy horses and “advocacy”? No, the two of them would have long since moved on with other people, have had a battery of other children with other randoms and Carly would still be living a great life with BrandonandTheresa. He needs to stop thinking he’s qualified to speak on anything other than what Butch is up to and STFU!
Oh Jesus. Not everyone is a victim of something Tyler. 🙄 I bet Brandon and Teresa are satisfied with this awful “adoption industry” you speak of. Seems like it turned what was a likely hopeless situation for them into something positive. I guess Carly is a “victim” too? Shut the fuck up already. It’s always something to keep you semi-relevant. Today it’s adoption, then an autism reveal, Brandon and Teresa, pictures of your dong, back to adoption, and next week you’ll have juvenile diabetes and leprosy. Next month is the reveal of your Adult Onset Down’s Syndrome you woke up with.
Just fuck off man.
As an adoptive mom with a child who has no birth parent information STFU. The only thing worse for an adoptee than not knowing who their parents are, is those who know and have parents who only think of themselves. That’s it. They aren’t thinking of Carly, they are thinking of the choices they made and continue to make which soley benefit them, their narrative and their bank account. It’s disgusting and they should be sued.
Tyler has really started to piss me off. Why is it on YOU to tell an infertile couple how to feel?! What’s next, you will start telling people who chose to not have children what are they missing?!
He sounds so smug about it too. Dude, I am sorry you never got the “boy you wanted” (clearly stated a few times) and now you are lashing out on the couple who is raising your bio daughter. And that’s all you will ever be…bio dad. Brandon is her FATHER, Theresa is her MOM…you were literally just a donor. And Carly prob doesn’t even give a crap about you (but I am sure she hears about you talking about her…a lot) so the whole idea of reaching out at 18…don’t. In best case she might want to say ‘hi’ to you but I think she will mostly just live her life normally, even when she will move out, she will reach out to her PARENTS, and I don’t mean the one who birthed her.
I think I read somewhere about the difference between birth family and your real family (from adoptees or idk where I heard it). One is family who made you…the other is the one who raised you. (And you obv get more attached to people who raised you….like what would you say about grandparents, uncles, aunts etc. raising kids cuz their parents were incapable or deceased to raise them? You will tell them to get over it too?)
Srsly, F*CK YOU.
What a terrible person. He continues to prove that Brandon and Theresa were absolutely right to cut contact with him. He has no idea how they’ve handled it. He acts like he actually knows them.
The only people who seems to have not dealt with their grief are Cate and Tyler. Or maybe it’s just that the only way they know how to get paid is to use Carly. Tyler will never stop.
I hope the moment Carly turns 18 she sues the crap out of C&T for violating her privacy online and USING her to make money for her ENTIRE LIFE! I’m sure she wants NOTHING to do with them!
Tyler is the worst. They got lucky they made money off of Teen Mom.
Hey Tyler, you don’t get to tell people how to deal with a health/medical issue that you know nothing about. Hope that helps 🖕🏻
Tyler is an IDIOT!!!
God this idiot is truly insufferable.
Why is he speaking about Brandon & Theresa’s private business? He has no idea if they went to therapy or how much they grieved. Some people do need adoption as they don’t want to raise a child & that child will need a home. I really wish they would lose their platform & get real jobs.
As someone who is infertile…does this dumb shit think we don’t grieve for that loss and just pretend it isn’t happening? It’s actually already pretty common for those of us with infertility to go to therapy. What the fuck does he know about it anyway? Those two get pregnant sharing the same bar of soap. So, he’s sooooo anti-adoption…what does he have to say for people who take the path my husband and I are and adopting out of the foster care system? Should we just continue to bounce children from foster home to foster home their whole childhoods or leave them in group homes so their birth parents don’t get their little feelings hurt? You know the people who were abusive and/or neglectful and lost the kids in the first place? He is one of the dumbest fuckheads on earth who doesn’t even understand that private adoption isn’t the only form of adoption. Urgh! He pisses me off so bad!
Tyler, you need to give your head a wobble, you pretty much forced Cait in to giving up the baby, you said on camera on tv, that if she didn’t agree, you’d leave her, so how dare you blame others.
And how fkn dare you talk about B&T coming to terms with infertility first.
You need a therapist to open your eyes to the fact you didn’t want Carly and both of you should havd had intense therapy to deal with this, for many years you praised B&T and Dawn.
Maybe the adoption should not have been allowing you access at all to B&T’s daughter.
The one you signed away all rights to.
You never shut your yap.
You and your wife have caused all of this animosity and further hurt to Carly ( you more so Tyler)
Your a big headed, vile, arrogant, gobshite
Tyler really is a pos.
I bet you all the money I have that Carly is the one who wanted to cut ties with Cate and Tyler. He parents are likely being good parents and protecting her by taking the fall because who knows how those two would react if they knew that Carly no longer wanted a relationship with them.
I went to infertility for years and luckily got pregnant with my son. I can tell you, when you are going through all these treatments and finally make the decision to stop with treatment, you already mourned the loss of your child in ways only people with these problems can related to. Every failed treatment, every period, you lose your hope and dreams.
And respectfully, not everybody needs therapy to mourn and grieve and get help doing that. Some people have other ways to deal with this and thats Oke as well.
And I don’t now what he means with ‘the can’t love the child the same way as they would their Biological chil’ …how much can they love Carly? 60%, 75%? This is crazy, you need the be greatfull these people seem to love Carly as their own child.
I’ve seen a lot of documents of adopted children that have way worse life’s OR have awful birthparents. Imagine having Butch as your birthdad and you are, lets say 6, and want to meet the dad, cause you aint waiting untill 18, you’ll get a surprise don’t you?
… and in 17 years birth parents should put in the effort to grieve so they can respect the people raising their child as adoptive parents instead of babysitters
Right?! Hes a nut.
Oh eff this narc butthead. I can not even, im so glad they were abke to give Carly a healthy stable childhood and protect her from these fools who DO NOT know when to quit.
But he will get his dose of attention and then whine like a lil b i bet.
Tyler is as bad as Kail, he just never stops running his mouth… all these middle aged teen parents need to move on with their lives
This is huge to me. It’s probably the first time I’ve noticed Tyler acknowledge that B&T are actual human beings. Rather than dark shapes, that must pay for all the hurt, that his own parents have caused him. Tyler is making progress, I suppose.
Tyler is absolutely exhausting with his pseudo expertise.
But when adopting you are taking that child in as your own. Your names are now on the legal birth certificate. Why would you raise an adopted child “differently ” than their own biological. You would be essentially signaling out that Adoptive child possible making them feel not wanted or who knows what other traumas. He’s dumb
He is part of the adoption triangle/circle/every now and then the shape changes. Yes he is entitled to have an opinion.
I adopted around this time.
Bethany did a terrible job with this match.
I mean this sincerely – please F off
UHHHHHHH OH MY GOD are you serious right now Tyler? What the fuck?
And how long should they be in therapy to “pass” and have the right to adopt a child who is being GIVEN UP. Carly wasn’t forcefully snatched from you. Holy shit I cannot with these two.
These two yapping again? 🙄
Tyler needs to shut the fuck up already. Who the fuck does he think he is?
I just can’t with them. They chose Brandon and Teresa specifically because they said that B & T would give Carly a life that they couldn’t at the time. And from what I have seen they have done exactly that. Tyler has always had a surly FU attitude with B & T when it was not warranted and he wasn’t getting his way. For the most part it appeared that Cate was trying to soothe Tyler acting like a baby while maintaining a respectful relationship with B & T for the sake of Carly. But eventually Tyler’s tantrum’s infected Cate and now they both act like asses and truly don’t care what that may be doing to Carly. It sounds to me like Cate and Ty need to grieve the loss of Carly whom they gave up willingly.
I have zero doubt that had Tyler and Cate shut up and respected the wishes of the parents they chose for Carly and stopped speaking about her publicly they would still be in Carly’s life. B & T put up with years and years of their private lives and their daughter Carly being brought up on national TV. The sad truth is that because of Teen Mom Cate & Ty have more of a public reach than the average person would. If I were B & T I would be concerned for Carly’s safety and her anonymity. There are crazy people on the internet and I wouldn’t want my child discussed nonstop. Of course Cate and Ty aren’t concerned about that because they just want to speak “MY TRUTH” and who cares if that isn’t best for Carly.🙄
has he ever broken down what specifically the adoption industry did to victimize himself or his wife?
they weren’t sought out and pressured into adoption.
they weren’t given an agreement that wasn’t clearly explained and which didn’t actually return even more than was promised to them as far as contact and visits.
they were not tricked.
they were warned, and warned and warned again that the family that Tyler insisted they give the baby to (because he did not want to parent) wanted privacy and respect- and they disregarded every warning. the adoption closed as a consequence of Tyler and Cate disrespecting boundaries and privacy and safety of the adoptive family.
there is no arrangement in the world that entitles one party to abuse and slander another party as much as they want, with no way for the slandered party to step away and cut contact with the abusing party.
they want no consequences and no responsibility.
big screaming crybabies.
i wonder how the annoying cate and tyler fans are gonna defend tyler, who’s gotten catelynn pregnant 5,000 times including right after miscarriages btw, telling an infertile couple what to do
Oh give it up you lazy-ass, good for nothing crybaby!! Nobody cares about all of your stupid boo-hoo adoption stories. Thank God Carley didn’t have to be raised by you and your loser wife!