Don’t worry…even I’m not a big enough creep to make fun of a night where a television show uses its monstrous ratings to improve the lives of people all over the world.
In theory, “Idol Gives Back” night on American Idol is a great idea with a great message to get off your couch and help people. (Well, technically, you can stay on your couch; you just have to pull out your wallet.) I just wish we didn’t actually have to watch it.
In an effort to get even more people to watch the telethon style show, they decided to also weave this week’s elimination into the mix last night. Did anyone else think this was kind of messed up? The Idols donated their time, their voices and even donned the traditionally hideous all-white get-ups to help the cause, only to have one of their dreams cut down by the end of the night. Aaron Kelly even donated his allowance money to the cause in hopes that it would help keep him in the competition!
The person whose dreams were cut down was the Cabbage Patch Kid, Tim Urban! That sneaky little devil who, for weeks, has managed to avoid elimination and push other contestants in front of him on the chopping block, is finally gone! But now I feel bad because he seems pretty nice.
There was a whole lot of stuff going on last night, causing the show to run an exhausting two-and-a-half hours long. I’ve decided to break it down into The Ashley’s List of Best and Worst Moments:
Best Dressed: This award goes to the adorable Lacey Brown, who donned a feathery, glittery white dress that looked great with her bright red hair. She looked like a sparkly pixie. I want that dress for my next Halloween costume! (Crystal Bowersox comes behind her for a close second place. She looked so pretty last night, no doubt inspiring high schoolers all over the country to wear dreadlocks with their prom dresses this spring!)
Creepiest Use of White Denim: A tie between Aaron Kelly and Mike Lynche. Someone so small and someone so big should never be wearing head-to-toe white denim. With pockets, zippers and acid-washed jean material all over the place, their outfits were just scary.
Worst Comedic Moment:
Any of the ten-or-so minutes that George Lopez was performing. Now don’t get me wrong: I love, love, love George Lopez, but his jokes last night were sooo bad. It sounded like he wrote them on a napkin on the cab ride over to the soundstage.
Best Comedic Moment: Wanda Sykes’ joke about the Idol “going home” videos. “Remember the good times when you still thought you were going somewhere and you still had dreams?” So true.
Worst Let-Down of the Night: Brian Dunkleman not co-hosting the festivities, as promised by Ryan a few weeks ago. I know he was “joking” (badly), but it still would have been cool if FOX had made that happened! Besides, I think I saw him in line at one of those food banks on one of the clips. Help a guy out.
Best Buzz Kill Moment: Showing a video of a baby dying of malaria right after the Black Eyed Peas finish their rendition of “Rock Your Body.” Seeing Fergie stuffed into that gold bathing suit thing and then seeing that video brought way too much sadness into my life.
Best “Where’d The Drag Them Out Of?” Moment:
Joss Stone and Jeff Beck. Most people watching the show last night weren’t even born when Bill Clinton was elected president, so how the hell would they know who Jeff Beck is?! Their mothers may not even know who he is, which is sad but true.
And Joss Stone resurfaced from the rock she’s been living under since 2003. They did put on a very good performance though. Tatiana Del Torro from last year’s Top 24 gets the honorable mention for this award. Tatiana, who you may remember continuously brought the crazy every week last season, was part of the Jonah Hill skit. When Jonah called her Clay Aiken I literally almost peed myself.
Best Performance: Carrie Underwood, hands down. As always, Carrie performed a classy, on-point performance, and the song choice of “Change” was perfect. Plus, her hair and makeup looked awesome, as always.
The Ashley’s Favorite Moment: Catching a glimpse of a girl with a sign way in the back of the theater that read “I Miss Adam.” Amen, sister.