‘Teen Mom OG’ Season 5B Episode 5 Recap: Weird T-Shirts, Whining & The Wedding

Cutest.Wedding.Ever.
Cutest.Wedding.Ever.

Welcome back, Teen Momers! As you may have noticed, The Ashley took last week off from recapping “The OG” but now she’s rejuvenated and ready to tackle this week’s 90-MINUTE wedding episode! Yes, kids, after 10 years, two kids, a disastrous season on Couples Therapy, and countless staged conversations about their relationship, Catelynn and Tyler are finally tying the knot– and MTV was there to capture it all! This recap is long– but so was the episode– so let’s get started!

We start things off with Catelynn, who is just days away from saying “I do.” She and Tyler, along with every member of their families (and possibly each family member’s parole officer) are crammed in a house that is near the wedding site. Everyone is staying in the house except Butch, who is currently shacking up at the nearest campground (as you do), so he doesn’t have to hear the screams of passion of his ex-wife April and her new husband, who are also at the house.

"What if I wear a tie over my wifebeater tank? Could I see the girl then?"
“What if I wear a tie over my wifebeater tank? Could I see the girl then?”

It’s the day of the wedding rehearsal, so Tyler scurries down to fetch Butch so he can attend the festivities. They blow out of the campground in Tyler’s minivan and on the drive over the wedding site, Tyler breaks the news to Butch that Brandon’n’Teresa don’t want him around them or Carly. Butch is hurt that the Whitebreads are scared of him, but Tyler insists that it’s for the best if Butch doesn’t approach them or Carly at the wedding.

Speaking of weddings, Maci is still not having one and she’s not happy about it. She and Taylor have returned from their Vegas trip…and their football game trip…and Maci is still ringless.

"Goooosh Taylor...everyone knows that the real money's in sex toy lines! Just ask Farrah!"
“Goooosh Taylor…everyone knows that the real money’s in sex toy lines! Just ask Farrah!”

While Taylor isn’t shopping for rings, he is shopping for a clothing line to invest in. He’s found some dude online who has his own line of T-shirts with leather pockets (or something) and he wants to buy the brand. Maci’s not too keen on the idea at first. (After all, if Taylor’s busy buying T-shirts, he won’t be buying engagement rings!)

Maci is hesitant because she and Taylor are kind of broke at the moment. (Perhaps that season’s check hadn’t made its way to Casa de Maci yet?) She knows that having a clothing line will be a huge undertaking and she’s not really down with having to do free labor to make Taylor’s T-shirt dreams come true.

"Ughhh...work is so HARD!"
“Ughhh…work is so HARD!”

Over in Indiana, Amber has dropped off Leah at Gary‘s and has landed safely back on her couch. Luckily, their newest business venture doesn’t require them to stand erect or leave the house.

Amber tells us that she and Matt have decided to invest some of their her money in real estate. Amber says they are going to be flipping houses. (Why do I have the feeling that Matt thinks that means they’re going to be buying an International House of Pancakes?)

They call up Charlene and ask her if she can help them with “some stuff.” Charlene tells them that she has a trashpit of a house that they can buy for about $20,000. (That’s equivalent to about one court hearing and three Krystle conversations worth of filming time, by the way.)

Charlene has nothing better to do, so she invites Amber and Matt to come look at the house that afternoon. Of course, Matt and Amber have nothing better to do that day. (I mean, ‘Wheel of Fortune’ doesn’t come on until 7:30 so they’ve got a few hours to kill.)

How many people died here? No...seriously...
How many people died here? No…seriously…

They arrive at the house, which looks sketchy at best. It’s all fenced off with a broken-down fence, and there’s a random shopping cart in the yard. (Oh, I see we’ve found where Kieffer has been squatting all of these years!)

Charlene, who looks like she’s been busy scrubbing the blood stains off the house’s front door, rushes to greet Matt and Amber. She legit breaks down the front door so she can let them into the house. It’s really a credit to all three that they didn’t run screaming when they entered the house. It basically looked like the site of Chernobyl. The walls are literally melting off and there’s plastic covering most of the interior.

“Was there a fire in here?” Amber asks as she examines the “high ceilings” that Charlene is raving about.

In addition to the burnt out ceilings, the floors are all busted up. (Perhaps they were made of that same, um, pressed wood stuff that Gary broke through a few seasons back?)

These were legit the looks on their faces when they were asked what they did for a living.
These were legit the looks on their faces when they were asked what they did for a living.

“So…what do you guys do for a living?” Charlene asks Matt and Amber.

Well, isn’t that the million dollar question! Amber and Matt both look like they have no idea what to say, since stating that they sit on their couch and collect MTV checks doesn’t really have a nice ring to it.

“Well I’ve been on a TV show for about seven years,” Amber says. (Didn’t all of those TV cameras tip you off a bit, Char?)

When it comes to describing what it is that Matt does for a living, Amber simply states that “he’s my fiance.” That, sadly, actually sums things up pretty well.

"That's....nice, dear..."
“That’s….nice, dear…”

Charlene looks kind of terrified (and somewhat intrigued) as Amber explains the difference between ‘Teen Mom’ and ‘Teen Mom OG.’ Amber, however, decides that this trashpit will require too much work for her and Matt to flip, so she turns it down. (Kieffer, who was certainly hiding in the fireplace during their inspection of the house, is most likely relieved that his humble abode will remain intact.)

Finally, we check in with Farrah, who has taken her bad attitude (and badly plumped lips) across state lines for a trip to Nebraska and Iowa.

Debra has flown to meet up with Farrah and Sophia, and, although Deb wants them all to have a slumber party at their old house, Farrah declines and opts to stay at a hotel instead. They all pile into a chauffeured car at the airport. (OK– is this new? Does Farrah use some of her butt movie money to pay for a driver in every state she visits?)

Anyway, another car cuts them off and Deb yells at the guy who was driving. Then— now this is rich— Farrah scolds Debra for yelling in front of Sophia. Yes, the same Farrah who has screamed at her parents, her boyfriends, the producers and practically every breathing member of the human race in front of Sophia, is telling someone else to be nice in front of her daughter.

That driver's face just about sums up how we'd all feel if we were in a car with Farrah.
That driver’s face just about sums up how we’d all feel if we were in a car with Farrah.

Meanwhile, the driver looks like he wants to strangle himself with his own seatbelt. Death seems like a better alternative to spending two more minutes with Farrah. Honestly, watching his facial expressions is far more entertaining than watching Farrah and Debra yell about what to say around “Baby Goo.”

The incident has stirred some doubt in Farrah, and now she’s considering not letting Sophia stay with Deb while she goes to terrorize the UK to film Celebrity Big Brother. Farrah calls up her old therapist so she can get in a quick sesh before she leaves town.

"I honestly don't even care."
“I honestly don’t even care.”

The counselor starts things off with “How have you been?”

Oh, lady. There aren’t enough hours in a day to describe all of the sex tapes, fake boyfriends, TV shows, vagina molds and ugly cry faces that have made up Farrah’s life in the years since you’ve seen her. Not to mention that Farrah looks like a completely different person than she did three years or so ago.

Farrah starts raging about how she can’t trust her mother to watch Sophia. She says that Deb has bipolar and is too snippy and selfish for Farrah to be around. Um….?!

"Why they all got that pocket?"
“Why they all got that pocket?”

In Tennessee, Taylor has purchased the T-shirt company and is examining his inventory. It’s basically tub after tub of T-shirts with the same weird leather pocket on them. Is that for a condom or….?

Taylor sets up a photo shoot to help him hawk all of the T-shirts, but Maci is concerned since they are going to Catelynn and Tyler’s wedding right after the shoot. (It’s still so weird when one girl mentions another girl on the show. It’s very meta and it kind of creeps me out.)

Luckily, Maci and Taylor have lots of hot and talented friends who are willing to help out with a photoshoot.

Back in Michigan, the wedding rehearsal is off and running. Butch has busted out a clean white tank top for the occasion, and April is doing her best not to drool as her ex-husband sashays by her, smelling of campground and man-musk.

20160128_164752
“This is better than sloppy joe day in the slammer!”

At the rehearsal dinner, everyone is having a grand ol’ time! Cate and Ty’s family and friends are laughing and eating, and Butch has been allowed to order whatever appetizers he wants–it’s a good day…until Butch decides to make a speech.

He stands up (and has somehow found an actual T-shirt to put on over his white tank. Perhaps Taylor sent him a sample from his new line?) He starts to get choked up as he apologizes for being a trashcan of a dad for most of Tyler’s life. His speech makes everyone cry, and Tyler’s sister, Amber, pats Butch on the back and yells, “We still love ya, sh*thead!” “Shut up, bitch!” Butch jokingly yells back.

Well if this ain’t the stuff Hallmark Family Channel movies are made of, I don’t know what is!

Meanwhile, Amber and Matt are still looking for a house to flip. They head up to Indianapolis, where they find a house for sale that has a yard littered with plastic patio furniture, satellite dishes and weird shipping crates. Perfect!

"Hey Amber, try to put this satellite dish in ya purse!"
“Hey Amber, try to put this satellite dish in ya purse!”

This house is in much better condition than the first. It has furniture and walls and stuff. (In fact, Matt looks like he could just plop down on the couch and make himself at home right now!) Amber and Matt can spend $21,000 on the house and repairs. The owners want $31,000 so Matt decides that they should offer them $18,000 instead. Shockingly, the owners weren’t keen on taking $12,000 less than the asking price, so they rejected it. Matt and Amber soon find another house they can flip and buy it right away.

There’s a large split in the ceiling of one of the rooms, though.

“What is this crack?” Amber asks. (At the mention of “crack,” Matt’s ears perk up.)

Well this is awkward...
Well this is awkward…

Charlene explains it away as a “settling crack” and scurries out of the house before Amber and Matt ask for their money back.

When they get home, Matt and Amber talk about how they hope the money they make from this flip will help pay for them to open a sober living home. They do this, of course, while there is a bottle of vodka and a bottle of wine behind Amber. Now, their sobriety is no one’s business but their own but…come one guys. At least move the booze bottles out of the shot if you are talking about your sober life.

AM I RIGHT?

"Work that pocket, bro!"
“Work that pocket, bro!”

In Tennessee, Maci and Taylor have gathered their friends for the clothing line photo shoot. They are making sure to showcase the T-shirt’s signature pocket in each photo because without the pocket, they’re basically just the T-shirts you’d find in a Fruit of a Loom three-pack.

After the photo shoot, Maci and Taylor pack up and head to Michigan for Cate and Ty’s wedding.

Over in Nebraska, Farrah and Sophia check in with Farrah’s dad, (Whatever) Michael. Farrah explains (while applying Sophia’s eye makeup, naturally) that she wants Michael to watch Sophia while she’s gone, rather than Debra.

Sophia's a gangsta.
Sophia’s a gangsta.

“I know you have jobs and stuff,” Farrah says.

Dontcha hate it when “jobs and stuff” get in the way of your dad watching your kid?!

Michael agrees to put his “jobs and stuff” aside to watch Sophia. Farrah then calls Debra to break the news that she’s been replaced as Sophia’s babysitter. Farrah is legit smiling as she realizes how hurt Deb is about being replaced, and even Sophia seems to be getting a kick out of it.

Soon, though, Farrah starts yelling at Deb (despite the fact that Sophia can hear everything), so Sophia runs over to Producer Heather and says that she left the room because she didn’t want to hear her mom or grandma cry.

Um…can Producer Heather adopt Sophia? Besides the fact that she’d probably pass on poor hair styling, Heather really seems like a much better parental choice for Sophia than Farrah.

How we feel any time Farrah's on the screen...
How we feel any time Farrah’s on the screen…

Debra then tells Farrah that she’s lost her job over Farrah being such a horrible person. Sophia, meanwhile, is covering her ears and hiding under the pillows so she can’t hear the argument.

Later, Farrah and Sophia have some manufactured mother/daughter time before heading over to Deb’s house to ruin her day even more. Debra explains to Producer Heather that she’s hurt that Farrah isn’t letting her watch Sophia (and even more hurt that Farrah thinks she’s old and “not with it.”)

Farrah and Sophia arrive at Deb’s and everyone’s talking in a strange, high-pitched baby voice. Soon enough, Debra brings up the fact that she got replaced as babysitter by Michael. Deb says that Michael can’t watch Sophia, so Farrah calls him up to see if Michael lied to her. Mike confirms he can watch the kid, and Farrah gloats as Debra looks heartbroken. Sophia, meanwhile, is sticking her tongue out at her grandma.

Deb finally speaks up and says that she’s sad that she was replaced.

As you do.
As you do.

Meanwhile, though, the rest of the ‘Teen Mom OG’ gang is heading to Michigan for the wedding. Amber is busy smelling her shoe on the drive there (as you do), and everyone is excited for the upcoming festivities. Catelynn is busy getting glammed up for her wedding, while Tyler and Butch put on their tuxedos for the big day. Once everything has been Instagrammed, Ty and Butch head to the wedding venue.

Catelynn can’t find her veil, and she realizes that the bridal shop didn’t include it. The shop is four hours away, so Catelynn starts freaking out. Luckily, the wedding planner locates a veil for Cate to wear. Maci and Amber arrive at the wedding and they are greeted by Butch.

"So, um...you wanna buy a T-shirt?"
“So, um…you wanna buy a T-shirt?”

“This is the first time I’m meeting these people!” Butch exclaims. He meets Bentley as well.

“What’s up man!” he tells the kid. “I watched you on TV all the time…in my jail cell.

Jesus God (Leah). I love Butch.

Butch seems eager to trade prison stories with Amber but there’s no time for that, because the wedding is about to start.

"Did you really just show up to my wedding in a white dress?!"
“Did you really just show up to my wedding in a white dress?!”

Before she walks down the aisle, Catelynn gets a visit from Teresa (who is wearing a white dress for some reason). Teresa gives Cate a pep talk, and tells her that she is very proud of her. She even helps Catelynn apply the borrowed veil.

The guests have all taken their seats and soon the wedding party is ready to march down the aisle. Tyler and his mom walk together, with Butch hovering behind. Soon it’s Catelynn’s turn to walk down the aisle. She’s escorted by April and her rarely seen dad, David. Catelynn looks stunning, and Tyler is crying as he sees her walking toward him.

When the preacher asks why they didn't invite Farrah...
When the preacher asks why they didn’t invite Farrah…

The vows are adorable, and Tyler’s in particular have everyone crying. They exchange rings  and soon they are pronounced husband and wife. Everyone cheers as the newlyweds head back down the aisle. It’s a perfect wedding ceremony, and now everyone’s ready to party!

Afterward, April gets to meet Carly, and Butch is feeling sad that he doesn’t get to meet her as well.

OK– let’s stop here for a sec. Teresa doesn’t want Butch to meet Carly because of all the mean things he said about Carly’s adoption. True, Butch was in prison but…April was horrible to both Cate and Ty about the adoption. Why does she get to meet Carly but Butch doesn’t? Neither one will ever win the Parent of the Year medal, let’s be honest.

"I'm watching you, mullet man! Stay away from my daughter!"
“I’m watching you, mullet man! Stay away from my daughter!”

Butch is thinking about introducing himself to Carly, despite the fact that Tyler told him not to. Butch sees his chance, and heads over to talk to Carly, who’s sitting with some other kids on the lawn. Butch says hello, and instantly Teresa shoots daggers with her eyes at Butch. Someone hustles Carly away from Butch, but he looks happy that he got to say hello.

"So...um...do you wanna buy a T-shirt?"
“So…um…do you wanna buy a T-shirt?”

Meanwhile, Matt and Taylor are talking about how beautiful Tyler’s vows were. Matt, who is probably overwhelmed by all the free food and drink available, is worried that his vows to Amber aren’t going to be as good. He then badgers Taylor about when he’ll propose. Taylor looks like he wants to punch Matt in the “haaaahrt” for asking him about marriage.

The reception is great. There are masks (which are never really explained) and a fire dancer. The DJ introduced Catelynn and Tyler as the “new Mr. and Mrs. Baltierra.” (I suppose the first Mr. and Mrs. Baltierra were Butch and April.)

When your sister-in-law makes a wedding speech that has nothing to do with you...
When your sister-in-law makes a wedding speech that has nothing to do with you…

Next, it’s Tyler’s sister Amber’s turn to give the Maid of Honor speech. She starts talking about how she and Tyler didn’t have a dad, and how Butch was always in prison, yadda yadda, and talks about how they have a great mom…and mentions nothing about Catelynn. Great speech, girl!

Cate and Ty do their first dance as a married couple, and the look on Maci’s face is clear as day. She’s sooo picturing herself in that wedding dress, with Taylor in a tuxedo version of his pocket T-shirt, dancing together.

There’s a sweet dance between Tyler and Carly, which makes everyone cry. Nova is dancing with Teresa and everyone is in tears. Tyler is crying and proclaiming at how wonderful the wedding is, and it’s super emotional.

The reception ends as a big dance party, with Butch breaking it down with Maci, Amber and Kail.

Best.Wedding.Ever.

That will haunt your nightmares, won't it?
That will haunt your nightmares, won’t it?

Back in Nebraska, Debra and Farrah are still fighting, and Deb starts screaming about how she’s alone and how no one cares about her. She’s crying and throwing dishes and cups into the sink. Sophia is crying and saying she’s scared, which is really just sad. She’s covering her ears but the argument continues.

Farrah accuses Deb of being a grown up throwing a tantrum, which is essentially what Farrah does every time she gets mad. Sophia refuses to kiss Deb goodbye and she and Farrah storm out the door into their waiting limo car. Deb looks down, most likely wondering how the hell she created such a monster.

Next week, Debra continues to argue with Farrah, and Catelynn continues to be sad, even after the wedding.

To read a recap from a previous episode of ‘Teen Mom OG,’ click here!

(Photos: MTV)

62 Comments

  1. So no comment on Maci’s whackadoodle wedding getup? From what I can tell she borrowed one of Butch’s white tanks and paired it with a miniskirt and some heels.


  2. That was Dawn that got Carly away from Butch, and Carly had to wear a mask at the wedding so her privacy would be safe in any background shots or candids so they made it a fun thing and got masks for everyone.


    1. April is sooooooo horny for Butch! Sooooo obvious.

      Butch is a real gentleman throughout the wedding parties, the Groom’s party, the Bride’s party, the engagement party, the rehersal, etc., etc.,……….BUT MOST OF ALL THE WEDDING AND THE RECEPTION!

      I think his aside to Carly was natural and invasive .9

      But HE WAS TOLD NOT TO DO THAT. But Butch botched it. Not his right AT ALL!

      Genetics make him the grandfather; however, love, constant caring, consistency of presence, and a good role model and caring paternal and maternal support on both sides will provide her the anchor she will need to make her dreams come true.

      I would be a liar if I said that the biological doners were entitled in any way to even suggest her future path.

      Thank God she is in a loving, stable, intellectual , Christian, inspiring home.

      WHY DO YOU INSIST ON BRINGING HER DOWN TO YOUR LOW LEVEL TRAILER TRASH?


  3. The pic of Amber with the vodka in the back reminds me of that clip of her at Gary’s when she first turned 21 and she was like “I just turned 21, I can drink for the first time now” then she goes and finishes a glass of wine in one gulp


    1. Like it was a SHOT. She appears foggy and out there.

      Whatever Amber and Matt the Gnat are up to is suspect.

      Is she capable of making rational decisions?

      She appears besotted. JMHO


  4. The best part of the realtor scene was after she asked about the jobs, when she says “So what made you decide to flip a house?”

    You can clearly hear that what she meant to say was “What makes you think you can flip a house, when you clearly have no relevant experience or useful skills of any kind?”


  5. Has Farrah ever watched a single episode back and seen what an asshole she is?? I would think she would be more self aware to tone down her nasty attitude when the cameras are around at least. She’s just repulsive. Also is she boycotting combing Sophia’s hair ever again? She is one raggedy looking kid for having a mom with alot of money.


  6. Long time reader – first time commenter. I absolutely LOVE your Teen Mom recaps! They are always hysterical. So thankyou.

    What I really want to know is what actually happened in Farrah’s family when she was a child that made them so extraordinarily disfunctional? I know she’s made comments before about abuse, but she’s always been so vague about it I never know whether it’s actually true. She’s had a horrible attitude since 16 & Pregnant and not just towards her parents, so you can’t really put it down to “fame” getting to her head. She is so cold and emotionally distant. Even all her ugly crying seems like terrible acting. I truly don’t understand how her parents have allowed her to treat them the way she does. Michael always looks like a scared puppy and even though Debra has always been kinda nutty, she seems like she just has Stockholm Syndrome and just goes along with whatever Farrah says out of fear of being abused. I mean the things that Farrah has said to her parents are reprehensible and now Sophia is like her evil little minion. I know this may sound awful, but that child has always given me the creeps. The death stare that she does right down the camera….. It’s so unsettling.

    Also is it just me or does Deb seem super spacey this season? Like maybe she’s been hitting the painkillers? I’m wondering if the reason she hadn’t seen Farrah and Sophia in months (which she made sure to mention a couple of times was due to an injury from exercising too much) was perhaps a little time in treatment facility? Maybe I’m reading into it too much, but something is way off with that woman. Like, more than before.

    Sorry for the super long post, but if anyone else wants to start a petition to get Butch and Babs their own spinoff then I’m totally up for that. Also somebody needs to edit a clip of Babs yelling “YAH BOTH HIGH!” and then a cut to Butch and April. Please and thankyou.


    1. Teen mom is great show….I.m 47 yrs old grand-mother….i just had to say bout farrah she need a belt took to her tail and not that freaky stuff she likes…..i mean she is really setting great examples to her little sophie wthats its ok to talk to people anyway you want cause soon they will be eating out your hand as baby…but my grand-daughter Jalyn watched some of it with me the other night…and she saw farrah screaming at her mom….she said whats that girl screaming at…i said her mom….she said oooooohhhh weeeee and she still has teeth….lol..then she said i cant watch this its annoying..but i can say my grand-daughter is 8 and would never talk to me like that,,,,or my daughter for that matter….and i grew up in abuse…i mean the kind you get you ass whooped everyday kind…..so little miss thang needs to really watch herself and how she acts cause one day her daughter will be doing her just the same way….so people should not be able to reproduce ….unless she does a complete 360 she should be considered in one of those people…


    2. My theory on Farrah’s childhood is that her parents (especially her mother) were EXTREMELY controlling, which can be its own form of abuse, though that’s hard to get arrested for, since as parents yu’re supposed to control your child….but I always got the sense the attitude was always Debra’s way or no way, and Farrah gets screamed at, and I think Debra also used emotional manipulation like it’s her job. If you watch 16 and Pregnant and the earlier seasons of Teen Mom, you can kind of see the dynamic is flipped – back then, Farrah was still somewhat supported by her parents (financially) and they still tried to control her, Debra even hit her on camera once, they tried to control her dating life, etc. Now they can’t control her, notice she’s doing everything she can to earn her own income, and I think she’s still bitter – and they know that the only way they’ll be allowed in her & Sophia’s life is if they grovel to her. It’s very sad, because now she has all the control, and she’s learned that when you have control, you’re supposed to make those you control miserable…I truly believe she learned that from them. That’s my take on it. I can’t stand Farrah, and I agree that she’s a monster, in all episodes, in this one though I kind of sided with her. Yes, she herself yells and throws adult tantrums in front of Sophia ALL the time, but it’s true that Debra does cry at everything, try to emotionally manipulate her by claiming she lost her job for her, etc. I can’t remember an instance where Farrah said something Debra disagreed with and Debra didn’t cry. And her parents WERE colluding behind her back – I don’t disagree that maybe she should both watch Sophia, but Farrah did make it very clear that Debra wasn’t supposed to, and she didn’t listen, she still booked a flight to where Michael lives…I can easily picture when Farrah was growing up her mother probably went behind her back a lot too, so sure she was right. I think Farrah is acting (badly) almost all of the time, always when talking about Sophia’s dad and ugly crying, but there were times where she appeared to me genuinely affected when her mom said things like ‘I still love you just as much as the day you were,’ the smallest facial reaction she gave makes me think that before the show Debra didn’t often say those things. My interpretation at least.


  7. Loved, loved, loved your recap as usual! I thought Theresa wearing a white dress was super awkward. The speech at the wedding was sad and really should have been about the marriage not about how crappy of a dad Butch was. Tyler’s vows were so beautiful and Cate looked beautiful (except I think her make up was a little too dark, I think she would’ve looked a little better with a more natural, lighter makeup). Also can we talk about how cute Nick was when he saw Cate in her dress and started crying? I laughed so hard when Amber tried to explain their “jobs” to the realtor! Did someone pay her to just ignore the cameras and point out that all they do is sit on a couch?
    I can’t watch the Farrah segments, they’re painful to watch. Sophia is a monster just like Farrah, and both Farrah and Deb need psychiatric counseling. Farrah is a truly awful human being and Deb’s no picnic either.


    1. Agreed about Cait’s makeup. She looked so beautiful, but the dark red lip was a little too much for me. Nick always breaks my heart and I always wish I could hurl myself through the tv and give the poor kid a hug. He seems like such a sweet boy. He’s got a good heart like Tyler and seems really attached to him and Cait. Although their whole family is pretty messed up, they’re all now very loving towards each other.


  8. Great recap. I think the thing with Farrah has moved beyond hilarious and amusing. She is either rotten to the core or a great actress. What amazes me is she posts things that make her look bad on IG which makes me wonder if this isn’t all a show. But then I look at Sophia and think otherwise. Sophia could be saved if some normal thinking people were around her but I don’t see that happening. Unfortunately Farrah is a cash cow for MTV so they won’t pull the plug.


    1. Definitely not all a show. What would be the point? She’s a horrible person and I’m sad Sophia will most likely be just like her. 🙁


  9. MTV should be ashamed for even allowing Sophia on the show. It’s really tragic to watch. It’s darn near abuse. Farrah needs intensive counseling. It’s a sad cycle that will leave Sophia with lasting scars.


  10. The apple doesnt fall far from the tree. Debra and farrah act just like each other. What confuses me is now all of a sudden farrah is bffs with michael? Sophia gives me the creeps. Daddy derek would be horrified if he were still around.

    I cant wait to see how long amber and Matt’s house flipping lasts for. They do realize they have to get off the couch and fix it, right?

    Best recap ever. I laughed out loud.


    1. Yeah Michael seems to be able to contain Farrah better than Debra. Maybe because of all the years of practice he had with Debra herself.


  11. Another classic MTV edit…Amber & Matt are looking at houses before they go to the wedding. Amber had her new ombre blond hair for the shack search … and then at the wedding we are back with the original long hand-that-girl-a-bottle-of-tresemme dark hair.
    Do they honestly think we all miss this?!
    Also on another note, I find it slightly sad that brandon and theresa have trained carly to look away when there is a camera nearby, it looked like the poor girl missed most of the wedding, they can pixelate you know!


  12. The absolute worst part of this show is watching Sophia scenes. Farrah is an awful mom and i just repeatedly see that she’s going to end up like her mom. I don’t like to insult kids but she’s a bit of a brat and Farrah doesn’t do anything to correct her or discipline her.


    1. I totally agree, and Farrah totally allows her to disrespect Debbie and sort of torment her. Farrah kinda eggs her on when she’s like mommy I’m scared of grandma, or mommy i don’t want grandma to watch me. Sophia is rotten and its getting to the point of no return, because she’s not getting any younger and the older she gets the harder its gonna be to correct it. Good luck Farrah, you’re creating a monster.


      1. Farrah never had a role model and never had a boyfriend/man who helpt her with Sofia’s education.Her childhood was not very nice,and she lost her boyfriend.The only one who “help”her now(in exchange for money)are her crappy parents.Basicly she’s all alone with her daugther.Give the girl a break.


        1. there are PLENTY of single mothers in the world that raise kids to RESPECT their elders and others, and that also don’t get their 6 year olds involved in Twitter beefs with Nicki Minaj. Maybe if she wasn’t such a self righteous bitch she would be able to keep a boyfriend. Farrah is an adult, her behavior and attitude can’t be excused because of a “bad childhood” anymore. She’s old enough to make a porn then shes old enough to fix her jacked up attitude and raise her daughter to be better than her.


        2. I raised my son as single mum for the first 3 years of his life (I’ve been with my partner for a year now) and he’s never behaved ANYTHING like Sophia. There are plenty of single mothers who raise wonderful children, who don’t behave monsters. So Farrah ‘not having a man to help her’ is not a valid excuse.


          1. No but hopefuly you had a more loving childhood and support from your parents?True there are many single moms,but not every single mom has a bad backround.When you never had learned how to do things right because you parent are crappy,how can you do it right then?I hope for Farrah that she will follow some kind of therapy that will help her to be a better person,to learn how to communicate on a normal level and the help she needs to rase Sophia.


          2. Celine: And there is the problem with the world…or at least this country. No one is willing to take responsibility for anything they do. It’s always someone else’s fault, or a bad childhood, or whatever. The fact is, we are all adults and we are all responsible for our own actions. I know lots of people who had very, very crappy childhoods who do not constantly act like assholes all the time. Sure, they may have some issues, but they treat others with respect and recognize that they have issues and get help for them.
            Farrah thinks that there is nothing wrong with her. In fact, she believes she is living her life better than anyone else in this world and that she can do no wrong. And she TRULY believes all of that. And that’s the difference between her and anyone else in her situation.


          3. @Celine- I am single mother. I was also a teen mom that had her daughter at 16. Her father isn’t a post of her life at all. I grew up in an abusive home. During my childhood I experienced physical, verbal, and sexual abuse. Despite all of it, my daughter in no way acts like Sophia. She never would act like Sophia. I was a mess when I got pregnant, but it wasn’t my parents’ fault. It wasn’t their fault I wad using drugs. It wasn’t their fault I had sex and got pregnant at 16. At some point. you have to grow up and start taking responsibility for your actions. My daughter is my responsibility. How I raise her has nothing to do with my childhood and how I was raised. I refuse to continue the cycle of abuse with her. It’s not impossible to break the cycle and raise a healthy, happy, and well behaved child. She deserves a much better childhood than what I had


    2. I remember last episode Sophia literally said ‘I want to be dead’ or something in those lines and I almost cried… Good job Farrah!


      1. That scene absolutely floored me. I don’t think the child meant it; I think she was either parroting things she’s heard, or she was doing it deliberately torture her mother, in my opinion. I am NOT a fan of Farrah, but that’s how it seemed, to me. I think the child is learning Farrah’s ways. Farrah seems to get a serious kick out of Sophia hurting Debra’s feelings.


  13. In Farrahs mind it is paybacktime!Her mother treats her so bad when she was a teenager,i can’t blame her now for how she acts.The best thing for Farrah is to stay far away from her mother and make something good of her own life with her daugther.Debra only accepts everything because she smells money and wants to profit on her daugthers fame.Who needs a mother like that?I think Farrah act most of the time horrible but at the same time i think she is very lonely.


    1. If it was only her mother that she treated like crap, I might actually agree with you. But, at least while on TV, she treats everyone else around her the exact same way. There is no difference in how she treats her mother compared to other people, she simply treats them all like sh*t!


    2. Farrah is entirely responsible for her own words and actions. Just like we all are. Growing up in a madhouse isn’t a valid reason for the way she treats others. Her behavior and interactions with man and animal are totally unacceptable and unhealthy and I’m certain she’s been made aware. As an adult (and especially as a mother), it’s her job to seek the help that she needs. I wont deny that the whole damn family is a complete disaster. And I think you’re right that Farrah is a reflection on how (and by whom) she was raised, but there’s no excuse for continuing the cycle. Sophia is a different story. She behaves so poorly because that’s all she knows and she has neither the necessary skills (developing child and whatnot) nor the ability or opportunity to get help.


    3. I remember Farrah said she was doing drugs (cocaine) with Derrek all the while she didn’t really have her parents supervision b/c they were too busy neglecting her with their booze & crumbling marriage. Also, Farra has said she didn’t want to to keep the baby but her Mom wouldn’t let her have an abortion. That Debra kept her from Derrek. Kept them broke up during her pregnancy,keeping them from speaking & then Derrek died. Farrah still very much loved him and they, as a couple, didn’t even get a chance to be together a couple let alone a family. I believe that this is why Farras acts the way she does. She resents her Mom b/c she in a way forced her to have a child she didn’t really want , only to be left with a broken hear & having to raise this baby with the baby’s Dad.


  14. I absolutely LOVED the deer in the headlights look when the realtor asked them about their JOBS!!! Matt had NO idea what to say and Amber just rattled off her tv stint!!!

    Anyone catch Butch directing people into the wedding??.? He told one woman “just go down there to that BROAD”. I laughing SO hard I started choking!! Hit rewind about 10 times!!!!! Oh Butch!!! You can take a man out a the slamma. …….but ya can’t the slamma outta da man!!!


    1. I love the new butch, he’s overtaking Barbaraaa on the entertainment scale. I love how he tried to correct himself after saying broad too…too late MTV caught it!


  15. What really got my attention was Debra saying that when she’s gone, everything of hers will belong to Farrah. What about Farrah’s poor sister?! Haha.


      1. the poor sister, for some reason, doesnt get a look in. Even when Debra says she misses her kids, she always adds especially this one about Sophia. I would love the sister to give a tell all interview on what is was like growing up with Debra and Michael and Farrah. The grandparents always seemed very nice and calm natured. I agree, the roles have been reversed, Debra has lost her control over Farrah, and Farrah retaliates by being mean and controlling with Debra and Michael. Debra and Michael never defend themselves when Farrah makes abuse allegations against them.


  16. It’s impossible for me to feel sorry for Debra anymore. It’s her own fault that her daughter is such a horror. She enables her by defending her behavior. Farrah actually might have more respect for her and treat her better if Debra stood up to her bullshit.


    1. Agreed, did you see the post about the Nicki M. Fued & Deb asked Farrah if she was doing this for publicity, to just tell her & she wouldn’t respond. Deb is in the for the money, the more dramatic she is maybe she will get more $$.


  17. LOL at Farrah and her “badly plumped lips”! I call them her snout. Definitely strange looking. It’s hilarious, how Farrah is always yelling at other people for their bad behavior, and she is guilty of the same behavior, only much much worse.

    Loved the wedding. Love seeing how well Butch is doing so far. Hope he is able to continue his new life.

    Amber smelling her shoe was disgustingly funny!


  18. Long time reader, first time commenting. Hands down this is the best anumber most hilarious recap! I was laughing so hard especially the captions under all the photos lmao. Thanks The Ashley!


  19. Your recaps make my day. I don’t get to watch the show but these articles make up for that 100 times over. Please don’t ever stop!


  20. Farrah is the absolute worst. I would really feel bad for Debra and Mycull if I didn’t keep reminding myself that they raised the little witch. However, I can’t imagine they treated her the way she treats them – “fame” and “fortune” have really gone to that little girl’s head and I wish that life would slap her into next week already.

    I thought the wedding was nice. I thought that April had already met Carly at some point though? While I get where they were coming from in not wanting her to meet Butch, I think they didn’t really give him a chance, but not my kid, you know? If it were me, I would think I wouldn’t let ANY of them (except Cate and Tyler) meet Carly, but if April was allowed to meet her, it doesn’t seem fair.


    1. Actually, Deb and Michael were both arrested and served time for physically abusing Farrah when she was a child. I think that has something to do with why they put up with so much abuse from Farrah now, they feel guilty for emotionally and physically abusing her when she was growing up so now they are overcompensating by letting her abuse them and basically allowing her to get away with murder. Still, the way Farrah treats them is pretty much how she treats everyone else she comes into contact with, and there is no excuse for her nasty behavior. She is an adult now and needs to act like one.


      1. Is there a record of them actually serving time? I only ask because Farrah is not the most honest source. I’m not even sure she would know the truth if it slapped her in the face.


        1. the only ‘record’ i’ve ever heard of is when farrah was already on teen mom and deb smacked her. she had to do anger management and spend the night in jail. pretty sure if they’d done time for child abuse we’d know. no way it’s stay hidden this long. shoulda smacked her bitch ass around more til she learned how to speak.


  21. So funny I love your recaps, the best scenes were when the Realtor asked Amber what the two of the zeros do. Then the shot with the booze in the frame with loser Amber talking about her sober living houses. She’s actually the worst loser of the bunch, and sadly she always will be!

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