We’re a little late this week, but we are finally catching back up with the ladies of The Mother/Daughter Experiment. Not much has changed since the premiere episode: the focus is still on Courtney Stodden and her husband-stealing mother. Heidi Montag is still getting wasted on the regular. And all the women continue to pick at each other for ridiculous things.
Let’s get started!
“My mom and I are having a lot of issues because she fell in love with my husband Doug,” Courtney tells the camera. (Well…when your mom is closer to your husband’s age than you are, strange things happen. I guess.)
“She tried to take him away from me and she won’t admit it,” Courtney adds.
Meanwhile, Heidi is busy getting wasted with Bad Girls Club star Natalie Nunn and Jessica Canseco. Jessica’s daughter, Josie, is mad that her mom is more worried about partying and acting young than she is about fixing their relationship.
Josie storms off, while Jessica sprawls herself on the hallway floor, screaming that she doesn’t want to be the mom anymore. Kim Richards actually comes over and tells her to grow up.
Wow. If Kim Richards is telling you that you need to clean up your act, you know you’ve hit rock bottom.
The next day, Heidi decides that she needs to ask Courtney’s mom, Krista Keller, why she let her daughter marry a 51-year-old man.
“Everyone wants to know,” Heidi says.
That’s true. Kudos to Heidi for trying to get the dirt.
When confronted by Heidi, Krista says that she didn’t even know Doug was famous at first. In fact, she claims that Doug asked her out first, but she declined because she was married.
So…you offered your teenage daughter as second prize?
Courtney, meanwhile, claims her mom is delusional and insists that’s not how it went down.
Does anyone else find it alarming that that Courtney Stodden is the most sensible person on this show?
Therapy starts, and the women are presented with bags. The bags are filled with items that the women said remind them of when their relationship became strained.
“I have two champagne glasses because my mom missed out on my 21st birthday,” Courtney says.
(The champagne glasses are, of course, empty because….well…Heidi would have gulped down whatever was in them….)
Anyway, Courtney says that while she was celebrating her birthday, her mom was speaking to the press about how horrible Courtney’s career was.
Now it’s Krista’s turn. She pulls out a promotional piece for her management company. Seriously. She throws in a pitch for her business. Josie says what we are all thinking.
“Why is she self-advertising when she’s in therapy with her daughter?”
When it’s Shar Jackson’s turn, she pulls out a turkey and said she’s disappointed that her daughter didn’t come to Thanksgiving.
Seriously? Come on, Shar, you’re going to have to do better than that if you want to steal some damn camera time from these other lunatics. Luckily, Shar serves up plenty of her trademark “these bitches are crazy” looks throughout the episode to keep us amused.
Josie and Jessica keep up their title as the most boring when Josie pulls out some pom poms and says she felt let down when Jessica didn’t come see her cheer in high school. #FirstWorldProblems
Kim and Kimberly both reveal empty bags. All of the housemates are rolling their eyes at the Kims’ attempt to look perfect.
“I may be the one with plastic surgery but you’re fake!” Heidi tells the cameras of the Kims.
Heidi pulls out her wedding veil because she’s so hurt that her parents weren’t supportive of her wedding. Apparently she got into a fight with her mom at her wedding.
At dinner that night, Krista decides to blast it to the group that Courtney’s husband Doug actually asked her out before dating Courtney. Jaws drop.
“Before Courtney came to Hollywood, we did a little in-town show and that’s how she met Doug,” Krista says. “Doug actually asked me out first but I was married so I said no. And then he started corresponding with her.”
When Nicole asks Krista why she was OK with her teenage daughter dating a 50-year-old man, Krista has a simple answer.
“Let me tell you, this girl needs someone to take care of her. Even just picking up after her in her room.”
Um… then hire a housekeeper? Don’t pimp your teen daughter out to some washed-up actor that’s old enough to be her father!
The next “therapy” activity includes a reporter pulling out old tabloid stories about the daughters/mothers. It’s raining outside, but for some reason they drag half the group out to the backyard so they can get soaked while talking about this stuff.
They start with Krista, who denies ever selling stories about Courtney to any tabloid…even though she just admitted earlier that day that she has done that in the past.
They confront Jessica with the news story about Josie’s DUI…and Josie runs out. Apparently, Josie wrecked her car while on Xanax. This is interesting because the night before when Josie was upset her mom kept trying to push Xanax on her, naturally.
Natalie’s mom admits that she’s embarrassed when people find out she raised such a “loud-mouthed brawler.” Oddly, she makes a point of stating how big her daughter’s chin is, which is odd.
Later that night, Courtney is throwing up and her mom is so pumped because she thinks Courtney might be pregnant. Oh yeah, you would love that wouldn’t you Krista? That would buy you another 15 minutes of fame.
“Do you want a pregnancy test?” she asks Courtney excitedly. (She’s probably on the phone with TMZ as she speaks.)
Krista runs off to call an ambulance (and the tabloids). Courtney gets rushed to the hospital. The therapist is trying to tell Krista that it’s probably just nerves, but Krista keeps talking about how Courtney could be pregnant.
She’s probably just ill from being around all of these crazy people. That could make anyone yack.
Krista, of course, can’t stand that her daughter is getting all of the attention due to her “health crisis” so she attempts to move the focus to herself (again).
“I’m kind of having some sympathy sickness.”
Is this lady serious? Can we vote her off the island, please?
Next week, they have mock funerals…because, as we all know, no low-rent reality show would be complete without a fake funeral episode.
To read Holly’s recap of the previous episode of ‘The Mother/Daughter Experiment,’ click here!