TLC’s experiment to see if anyone still cares about the Duggars is coming to an end. Yes, kids, it’s time for the Season 1 finale of Jill and Jessa: Counting On! Since none of the Duggars have been able to squeeze a “blessing” from their loins this season, we’ve endured some extremely boring episodes. (Who could forget the segment about Joy picking out glasses? That’s 12 minutes we’ll never get back!)
Jill and Derick are still down in Central America, dodging mosquitoes and handing out Bibles, but for the season finale, some of Jill’s family has headed down there for a visit. Last week, Jessa, Ben (and his ridiculous collection of hats) and the gang arrived in Heathenville. Ben, in preparation of coming in contact with that pesky Zika virus, came armed with “sunscreen and bug spray…and stuff.”
We pick up where we left off last episode, with Derick picking up the gang at the airport. Queen Jessa, her joker servant Ben and Baby Spurge get to ride in the truck cab, while “the rest” are thrown into the back of the truck bed, clinging to each other (and possibly some random goats) for their lives as they bump down the road.
Like we did last week, the Duggar kids have started to notice that their brother-in-law Derick is doing his best to look like Jesus.
“The last time we were with Jill and Derick, Izzy was much smaller….and Derick’s beard was much smaller,” Ben says as he giggles like a patient on laughing gas.
“Recently he’s grown it out…. I guess that’s a new thing that Jill likes…so more power to him,” Joseph says.
Jill gives everyone a tour of their new home and quickly Jessa turns the conversation around so it’s about her.
“Aw, it’s so cute and cozy,” Jessa says of Jill’s new hut. “It reminds me of mine and Ben’s little place.”
Does anyone else feel like Jessa was throwing a little shade with that? Remember that, before Jill and Derick left the States to save the world one uncivilized local at a time, they were gifted the Duggars’ mini mansion, while Jessa and Ben got the smaller (mold-filled) house.
Speaking of which, whatever happened to the mini mansion? Why can’t Jessa and Ben live there while Jill and Derick are out of the country? Jim Bob probably doesn’t trust Ben with that many electrical outlets. He might electrocute himself.
Anyway, Jill shows Jessa the heap on the floor that she’s prepared for her and Ben. Jessa’s face is turned away from the camera when she sees the dirty mattress on the floor, but Jill seems to get a little joy out of forcing her sister to sleep there. (It’s actually better for Ben. He can’t fall off the bed and hurt himself if he’s on the floor.)
To fill time in the episode, the gang begins to reminisce about how Jill and Derick met while Derick was on the mission field in Nepal.
“Jill had to travel halfway around the world to have her first date,” Jana says quietly, obviously thinking about how great it would have been if ol’ Jim Bob had chosen to fix her up on the fateful trip to Nepal, rather than family favorite Jill.
“I would probably travel around the world to meet a guy…if the guy ever came along,” Joy says.
When the producers ask Jinger if she would travel around the world to meet a guy she says, “I don’t think I have to.”
Oooooh, girl! You go on with your bad self! Next thing we know, this girl will be wearing pants!
Jinger continues to imply that she may be courting when the producer asks her if there is something he doesn’t know and she just laughs coyly. Uh-oh. Is there another Duggar wedding in the works? TLC is probably already getting the cameras ready.
The women decide to (what else?) throw a party for all of the women in the area to hopefully convert them from their hedonistic ways. (Anyone else half-expecting to see Sierra run into whatever hut this fiesta will be taking place at, her eyes all bugged out and her arms full of cookies shaped like crosses and Bibles?)
Unfortunately, TLC didn’t shell out the bucks to send Sierra south, so the Duggar gals are left to throw the party themselves. A truck comes and dumps off a heap full of local women and children who look confused as to why they’re there, why these people are filming them, and why their meeting room looks like a Party City post-Valentine’s Day sale threw up in it.
Once the local women have gathered, the Duggar girls begin to sing and the women are all looking around like they don’t know what they’ve gotten themselves into. They just wanted some free pizza.
Jessa explains how crappy it is in Central America– there’s no air conditioning, and there are things like cougars and scorpions and tarantulas and whatnot. She admits that it’s not exactly a great place to bring a child…yet, she brought her child there willingly.
The next day, the gang goes to an orphanage to gawk at the babies and maybe steal one or two.
“It just makes you cry when you see all of these kids that don’t have anywhere to go,” Jessa says. “It just makes you want to take them all home. I wish I could gather up an armload and carry them out.”
Nope, nothing creepy about that statement, y’all!
Jessa says that she and Ben want to adopt a kid as soon as possible. But, seriously, who is going to let Ben be in charge of raising multiple children?! He shouldn’t even be trusted to take care of a Chia Pet!
Jill and Derick say that they also want to adopt but explain that their next child will probably be a biological child.
“I’m not pregnant…. yet,” Jill says.
Well that’s good considering the Zika virus is endangering pregnant women all over Central America right now, Jill. You’re not immune to dangerous diseases just because you’re on a “mission” trip. For the good of humanity, keep it in your pants, Jesus Derick, until you get back to the States!
The boys decide to put on a soccer tournament for the locals and a bunch of the local boys come out to play.
Ben is running around looking like a fool, of course.
Um…why isn’t he helmeted and being properly supervised?
“My experience with football is with a brown…. pointed two ends…. you know American football,” he says.
It wouldn’t be an episode of ‘Jill and Jessa: Counting On’ without Ben saying something stupid.
Later the producers try to turn the episode back to what really matters: babies! It almost seems as if the producers are trying to turn mass breeding into some type of competition between Jill and Jessa. They ask the girls which one of them is going to pregnant again first.
Jill says she thinks they will probably be pregnant again at the same time. Their kids aren’t even a year old! Can’t they take a breather? Perhaps Jill should focus on avoiding diseases, while Jessa should concentrate on making sure her husband doesn’t get left alone with any sharp objects.
The next day, everyone says their sad goodbyes as they get ready to leave. Jill is especially sad to see her nephew, The Spurge, go.
“I have milk, I can keep you!” Jill tells Spurgeon, jokingly.
Jill and Derick wave goodbye to Jill’s family, as Israel looks longingly at the car as it drives away. He knows that was his only route back to air conditioning.
I guess we will have to wait and see if TLC decides to bring this snoozefest back for another season. They do, however, have years of old footage to filter through a whole “new” season of episodes, so we could be watching Jill, Jessa & Co. for years to come!
It appears that even the show’s devoted fans are turning on them, due to how much “flashback” footage each of the “new” episodes contain. (Check out the comments here!)
To read our previous recap of ‘Jill & Jessa: Counting On,’ click here!