‘Teen Mom 2’ Season 7 Episode 10 Recap: Backpackgate & Jenelle’s Battle for Benzos

We've known that since '16 and Pregnant,' Jenelle...
We’ve known that since ’16 and Pregnant,’ Jenelle…

It’s hard to believe that we’re already on Episode 10 of this season of Teen Mom 2! Season 7 has flown by faster than one of Leah‘s marriages, has it not!?

This week, we’re still all tangled up in custody cases and boyfriend/soulmate/husband woes. Let’s get started!

We kick things off with Jenelle who, once again, is treating her soulmate Lurch to a midday meal at a restaurant. As per usual, Kaiser is nowhere in sight. It’s happy hour for the couple, but, then again, every hour can be happy hour when you don’t have jobs!

"She was like a DOVERMAN, I tell ya!"
“She was like a DOVERMAN, I tell ya!”

Lurch is once again regaling Jenelle of the tale of how Barbara “attacked” him last week like a “Doverman.” (Oh, it hurts so good!) Jenelle agrees that her mother was, indeed “Doverman”-like, and Lurch says it is hard for him to deal with crazy people.

Um…you’re dating Jenelle, bro. If that’s how you feel, you’ve made a terrible, terrible mistake.

Jenelle decides it’s best to call up Babs right there in the restaurant because, well, I guess it’s just more fun to yell at your mother on the phone when there are a lot of people around. Jenelle asks Babs if she can have Jace for the weekend, but Barb is understandably hesitant to let her grandson go back to Jenelle’s Little Shop of (W)horrors, after what happened last time. She tells her daughter that Lurch better not call the cops on her again.

Nope, nothing creepy about the look on David's face here at all...
Nope, nothing creepy about the look on David’s face here at all…

During this whole conversation, Lurch is just staring at Jenelle while she’s on the phone, with these creepy, “I-wanna-make-your-face-my-face” eyes.

Jenelle insists that David is a great guy who does work. He hasn’t been going to work, though, because he has to be there to take Jenelle to restaurants because she can’t drive herself, due to a self-diagnosed thyroid issue.

Wait…um, sorry….what?! I watched that explanation three times and it still makes no sense at all. David can’t work, but he can take Jenelle to the Fuddruckers for chili fries and margaritas on the regular?

"Dude! Why does no one care about how much I'm sweating?!"
“Dude! Why does no one care about how much I’m sweating?!”

Jenelle says that she’s basically become a sweaty mess, due to all the hot flashes and “sweats at night” and whatnot. She’s also been having nightmares. (Perhaps she’s dreaming of a life where she actually had to work a 9-to-5 job?! The horror!)

Barb doesn’t seem all that concerned, despite the fact that Jenelle is insisting that she’s basically at death’s door. Babs isn’t sure if she’ll let Jace visit, and she wants to talk to her sweat-soaked daughter before she allows him to come over again.

When you're tired of hearing about your soulmate's ailments, but she's paying the tab so you keep quiet...
When you’re tired of hearing about your soulmate’s ailments, but she’s paying the tab so you keep quiet…

After Jenelle hangs up on Barb, Lurch states that Jace needs some one-on-one time with him, so that he can make him a man.

Is anyone else getting a MAJOR red flag here!? While I’m sure they are just tons of mothers lining up to let Lurch “make a man” out of their young sons, I’m finding the whole conversation rather creepy.

Lurch then states that Barb doesn’t care about Jenelle’s happiness, because if she did, she would have never taken Jace away from Jenelle.

UM?! Jenelle was out paaaaaaartyin‘, gettin’ HIGH! HIGH! on the heroin and “kilos of weed” and getting arrested, while Barb took on her responsibilities and raised that kid. Jace would be in foster care right now if it weren’t for Babs. You can say a lot of negative things about Barb, but you can’t take that away from her.

Meanwhile, in Delaware, things are relatively normal with Kail & Co. The dogs are humping each other, Lincoln is pushing his brother and Kail is Facetiming one of her friends.

"OK, I'll hang out with Vee but if I start saying 'wif' instead of 'with' please kill me!"
“OK, I’ll hang out with Vee but if I start saying ‘wif’ instead of ‘with’ please kill me!”

Kail says she’s going to hit up Vee to see if she wants to go eat stuff with her. Since Vee is friendless in Dover, Kail figures she’d rather talk to her than a bunch of humping dogs. Kail’s friend says that Kail hanging out with Vee is a good idea.

Down in the holler, Leah is exchanging the offspring with Corey alongside the road. Leah says she wants to keep things civil with Corey, but wouldn’t you know that gersh-dern ex-husband of hers is ready to stir the ding-dang pot once again! Corey brings up the fact that Ali’s diet is not up to par, and says that he thinks she’s been losing weight.

"I done told you this a million times, Leah. Sweet 'n' Low ain't a vegetable!"
“I done told you this a million times, Leah. Sweet ‘n’ Low ain’t a vegetable!”

Did Addy not save any icing for her sister to eat!? Did Leah run out of canned ravioli!? Has the cupboard once again run low on Lunchables?! What could it be?

Leah insists that Ali is not losing weight, and her britches fit just fine, thank you very much. Leah knows firsthand that a youngin can live off of assorted snack cakes and Chef Boyardee creations; after all, that’s what her Mama fed to her!

Leah says that Ali eats just fine when she’s at her house, so it’s obviously all those fruits and vegetables that Corey is trying to feed her.

"I've got three words for you girls: condoms, condoms, condoms!"
“I’ve got three words for you girls: condoms, condoms, condoms!”

In South Dakota, Chelsea is having lunch with her father Randy and talking about– what else?– Adam. Chelsea recently went to a child support hearing, and Adam was a no-show. It’s no surprise to Chelsea, because Adam never contacts her about anything to do with Aubree.

There’s a father/daughter dance coming up at Aubree’s school, and Chelsea is sad that she has to tell Adam about it. She wants Cole to take Aubree, since Cole is the one who acts like a real dad to her, but, hey, we can’t choose who we bone in high school and get knocked up by, can we?

Chelsea texts Adam to let him know about the dance, but is planning to have Cole on stand-by in case Adam is too busy pumping iron to take Aubree.

"Maybe one of the security guards from your rap tour can go with me just in case!"
“Maybe one of the security guards from your rap tour can go with me just in case!”

In Delaware, Vee tells Jo that Kail wants to meet up. Vee is suspicious, due to the fact that in the past, Kail has basically been a raging bitch to her. Now that Javi is off saving the world, though, Jo and Vee say that they’ve seen a major change in Kail. Jo tells Vee that he’s pretty sure that Kail won’t poison her drink if they go to lunch, but he seems hesitant about the whole thing.

"Get the doctor on the phone so I can moan for him!"
“Get the doctor on the phone so I can moan for him!”

Over in North Carolina, Jenelle is still on death’s door, but now she’s even sicker and sweatier than ever! She may not even be able to fetch Jace because of how deathly ill she is. Jenelle’s made a doctor’s appointment (which may or may not be code for ‘meeting up with Kieffa to see what happy pills he has in his knapsack at the moment’).

Jenelle’s knees, back, tongue and joints all ache. I’m pretty sure she even included ‘prostate’ in her list of assorted body parts that hurt.

Meanwhile, Barb tells Jace that his mom is at the “docta’s”  and that maybe it’s best if she takes him to her house the next day, since Jenelle may be in bed the whole time he’s there.

Um…isn’t that what the kid said happens every time he visits Jenelle? Business as usual!

Just then, the phone rings in Babs’ caaaaahr.

“Oh, it’s Juh-nelle!” Babs cackles as she picks up.

"I hope ya goin' through the menopause, Juh-nelle, so ya can't get knocked up again!"
“I hope ya goin’ through the menopause, Juh-nelle, so ya can’t get knocked up again!”

Jenelle is very mad because NO ONE is taking her symptoms seriously. The doctor was no help, despite the fact that Jenelle is obviously on the brink of death! Jenelle says she needs to get her sweaty mitts on some Xanax, but wouldn’t you know the doctor wouldn’t give her any! Apparently, Jenelle’s on the North Carolina Pill Poppers of America list.

Jenelle, of course, is pissed. She was addicted to HEROIN, not benzos, so what’s the damn problem!? Jenelle sees no reason why the local doc can’t fill her gullet with some pills, and she’s angry that people are holding a pesky little thing like admitted heroin use against her. Geeeeeez!

"The guys are school are gonna love this one!"
“The guys at school are gonna love this one!”

Meanwhile, Barb is just a sight for sore eyes. Her face is priceless as she listens to her daughter wail about not getting the drugs she wants. Jace, too, looks completely over this conversation. Well, at least he’ll have a new “My mama’s so crazy” story to tell his friends on the playground on Monday!

Barb reminds Jenelle that a law was recently passed in North Carolina to help prevent junkies from getting their paws on prescription drugs (much to the dismay of said junkies and, most likely, the producers of the show Intervention).

“It’s not even about the meds!” wails Jenelle. She says she just wants someone to believe her that she’s got one foot in the damn coffin! To express this, she starts swearing, but Babs scolds her for cussing while she’s on the caaaaahr phone with Jace in earshot.

“I have restless leg syndrome!” Jenelle screams. “My knees and my joints hurt! I think I have MS!”

"Oh, this is rich, Juh-nelle, even for you!"
“Oh, this is rich, Juh-nelle, even for you!”

At that, Barb can no longer contain herself. She starts cackling as she listens to her daughter’s laundry list of ever-changing symptoms. This obviously isn’t the first time Babs has heard something like this from her daughter. You can almost tell Barb is just waiting for Jenelle to scream, “I have leprosy! I have testicular cancer!”

This is fun. I just love this.

Jenelle continues to wail and list the symptoms that are crippling her. (Did someone give her some sort of picture book of illnesses or something that she’s just reading from?)

Barb offers up diabetes as a possible cause of Jenelle’s medical crisis, and Jenelle gets so offended that she hangs up on her mom. (She must have realized that Barb has no Benzos so there’s no use in talking to her. However, if anyone on this show ever deserved anti-anxiety meds, it’s Barb!)

“Maybe she’ll be in a better mood tomorrow,” Barb tells Jace of Jenelle.

Well, that is if the hoof-and-mouth disease doesn’t overtake her by then. #PrayForJenelle

"I'm so dang-gone tired of people fussin' 'bout what I put in my kids' feedbags!"
“I’m so dang-gone tired of people fussin’ ’bout what I put in my kids’ feedbags!”

In West Virginia, Leah has managed to rid herself of all of her youngins somehow, so she’s able to chat with her sister Victoria without constant interruptions.

For some reason, Victoria’s all dressed up like it’s club night at the Cracker Barrel. Leah tells Victoria that she’s spending her night correcting the twins’ school work. Although we know that Leah’s not much for readin’ and ‘rithmatic and all that, she’s trying her best to help with her daughters’ learnin’.

"But ya give her a Lunchable each day! What more does that man want!?"
“But ya give her a Lunchable each day! What more does that man want!?”

Leah then tells her sister about what Corey said about Ali’s diet. She’s plenty mad that Corey has been hinting that she’s not properly feeding the kids.

Victoria says that Leah needs to tell Corey that Ali eats “perfectly good” when she’s at Leah’s house. (Let’s hope that they don’t let Victoria help with the girls’ homework…)

"That Corey is always kickin' up dust, y'all!"
“That Corey is always kickin’ up dust, y’all!”

Leah has no idea why Ali eats “perfectly good” at her house, but doesn’t eat at Corey’s. Well…it could be because everything that Leah gives Ali is covered in processed cheese-like powder…or icing. Kids love that stuff!

Leah says that she doesn’t want to keep arguing with Corey, and then Victoria utters what may be the understatement of the season…

“You don’t fight about nuthin’!”

Really?!

In South Dakota, it’s time for the father/daughter dance. Adam is still missing in action, but Chelsea is getting Aubree ready. Aubree’s teacher said she could bring both Cole and Adam to the dance (which, won’t be awkward at all), but Chelsea has no clue if Adam will actually come through to take her.

"No, don't get up from your bench-pressing, Adam, I'll take your kid to her dance!"
“No, don’t get up from your bench-pressing, Adam, I’ll take your kid to her dance!”

Aubree is hoping to take both guys with her to the dance, but when it’s time to go, only Cole is there, so he takes her.

Chelsea is so grateful that Cole was there. She knows that otherwise, she would have been calling up Papa Randy, pulling him out of some sort of dental surgery or whatnot, to beg him to take Aubree, and/or watch helplessly as Aubree starts to develop “daddy issues.”

Speaking of daddy issues, it’s time to check in with our favorite diseased degenerate, Jenelle. Since the doctors in North Carolina wouldn’t give her drugs couldn’t figure out what was wrong with her, Jenelle has trekked to New York City. She’ll trot all over the country in her quest for answers (and apparently, Xanax).

Jenelle is somehow able to leave her deathbed long enough to grab a meal with Lurch. Unfortunately, flying to New York may not have been a great idea. Not only have Jenelle’s restless leg syndrome/anxiety/MS/hot sweats/aching joints/etc followed her to the Big Apple, but new symptoms are being added.

“I can see MOLECULES!” Jenelle exclaims.

This is getting to be a bit much, even for Lurch (and that’s saying something!) He insists that she needs to see a doctor, and not one of those stupid North Carolina doctors who keep a tight grasp on their prescription pads!

"Dude, it's as clear as day right here: I have molecultitus!"
“Dude, it’s as clear as day right here: I have molecultitus!”

Jenelle has decided to be pro-active in her crusade to find out what’s wrong with her. She’s pulled up the WebMD on her phone and has basically diagnosed herself with every single ailment and illness listed…ever.

WebMD has probably been rather useful to Jenelle in the past. Imagine how many times she and her pal, Trashbag Tori, have sat around a computer, using the site while playing “Guess which STD it is?” Ahh…memories.

David’s obviously tired of this whole charade but…hey, it’s scored him a few free vacations already so he goes along with it. If his soulmate says that she has eyes that “feel huge,” itchy legs, a numb tongue, a body that jerks uncontrollably and whatnot, that’s OK with him. #PrayForJenellesItchyLegs

"I'm a medical marvel, dude!"
“I’m a medical marvel, dude!”

Seriously, Jenelle rattles off about 40 things that are wrong with her. It’s a gosh-darn miracle that this girl is even still alive, guys! If she has, indeed, been fighting all of these symptoms, she deserves to be in some sort of medical book or something.

“I’ve been bedridden for three weeks now!” Jenelle says.

"My no-no's have been burning lately. I hope I didn't catch her plague!"
“My no-no’s have been burning lately. I hope I didn’t catch her plague!”

Um, sorry what now? Girl, the only time you’re “bedridden” is when you’re making babies with a soulmate! Come.On.

(Also, according to Jenelle’s own Instagram account, during this time when she was “bedridden,” she was ice skating and bowling in New York, as you do.)

Anyway, Jenelle says that David has been taking care of Kaiser for her (gulp) because she’s too sick to get out of bed. She’s happy that she’ll finally be able to see a doctor who doesn’t know her (except from that whole MTV reality show thing, of course), and may be willing to give her the drugs she wants.

"You want to cry about it or...?"
“You want to cry about it or…?”

In Delaware, it’s time for Kail’s regular FaceTime call with Javi. She tells Javi (who, for some reason, is always shirtless in every FaceTime call), that she’s having lunch with Vee that day. Neither one of them seem thrilled about the Vee lunch, but, hey, it makes for interesting camera time. Otherwise, we’re going to be forced to watch Kail’s dogs hump the whole time. (Personally, I’d vote to watch the dogs humping, but no one listens to The Ashley…)

They are both completely robotic on the phone to each other. Seriously, did they take all of Jenelle’s benzos or something? Neither one of them are giving off any sort of emotion, and it’s kind of creepy.

Javi begs Kail to show some emotion toward him. Kail tells Javi that she loves him but she’s not about to bust out any tears for his sake. They hang up and Kail stares off into space for a moment for dramatic effect.

Awkward...
Awkward…

Meanwhile, Cole and Aubree have returned from the father/daughter dance, and Cole reports that Adam was a no-show. Aubree still had a great time with Cole, however, and they even came up with an adorable dance to do together at the wedding.

So.Much.Cuteness.

"You best not be implyin' that I don't feed my youngins, Corey Tyler!"
“You best not be implyin’ that I don’t feed my youngins, Corey Tyler!”

Over in West Virginia, Leah is wranglin’ her litter into the car. Once she’s got them “setting” in their seats, she rings up Corey to let him know how Ali’s most recent doctor’s appointment went. She tells Corey that the doctor doesn’t think Ali has lost weight and that Corey made a big deal out of nothing.

The next day, Leah gets a call from her trusty cousin, Chasity. We all know that Chasity loves a good hunk of drama, and the one she has now is a doozie! Chasity tells Leah that Ali was telling her something about Miranda, and Chasity decided it would be best to film Ali talking so she could send it to Leah.

"Yer darn tootin' I'm gonna talk to Corey Tyler 'bout this!"
“Yer darn tootin’ I’m gonna talk to Corey ’bout this!”

Wait, Chasity actually has a smartphone? That seems kind of high tech for her. I figured she just used payphones and took all of her photos via Kodak Fun Share disposable cameras.

Anyway, Chasity says that Ali told her that Miranda wouldn’t carry her backpack because she had to hold her newborn baby, Remi. While that seems like a totally normal thing for someone to say, we have to remember that we are dealing with Leah & Co., so, of course, this blows up into something huge ‘right quick!’

Chasity says it’s “heartbreaking” to hear Ali report that she and Aleeah don’t get the same amount of attention that Remi gets.

Um…Remi is a newborn baby…and a premature one at that! Of course she gets a lot of attention, and of course a six-year-old is going to get jealous. But, of course, Leah’s cousin has to play hillbilly hellraiser and make it into a big thing.

"What in the ding-dang?!"
“What in the ding-dang?!”

Chasity sends over the video of Ali, and Leah watches in “horror” as Ali describes how that evil Miranda tells her that she can’t hold the backpack and a baby.

Jesus God (Leah).

Meanwhile, it’s time for Kail’s lunch with Vee. They talk about Vee’s latest trip to Jersey, and whether or not they plan to shoot any more babies from their loins.

The lunch is a snoozefest because no one screams at each other.

Luckily, Jenelle is always good for a little screaming. This time, her victim is the neurology center, who have DARED to close at 4pm! Jenelle, who is awaiting her test results, is livid that the office closed without even consulting with her first. How rude!

Now we may never know if Jenelle is dying from the black plague!

"Don't these doctors know I'm DYING!? Dude, it's so frustrating when people don't cater to me!"
“Don’t these doctors know I’m DYING!? Dude, it’s so frustrating when people don’t cater to me!”

“They’re closed!? Are you serious?” Jenelle screams. “Why do they close at four? That makes no sense!”

Surely Jenelle has been to enough doctor’s offices during her battle with small pox or rabies or whatever to know that most offices close around that time.

Back at her hotel room, Jenelle is frustrated after “trying everything for her health.” She can’t even go out to eat now because her disease has made that uncomfortable too. Good God, the illness has taken Jenelle’s one joy from her– snarfing free greasy food!

"I'd be happy to lighten your load by holding your wallet!"
“I’d be happy to lighten your load by holding your wallet!”

Lurch offers to rub his grubby mitts all over Jenelle in an attempt to make her feel better but she declines. She is mad that no one even cares that she is dying and suffering from every symptom known to man!

"I reckon you need to show her how we handle things down here in the holler!"
“I reckon you need to show Miranda how we handle things down here in the holler!”

We check back in with Leah one more time and see that she’s called her sister Victoria over to watch the video of Ali. Victoria encourages Leah to go over there and beat Miranda’s ass with a backpack…or something.

“The lazy bitch needs to pick up the backpack and carry it for her!” Victoria screams about Miranda.

Leah is upset at Corey for allowing Miranda to treat the kids that way. Sigh.

Victoria says that just because the twins didn’t come out of Miranda’s baby chute, that’s no reason for her to love Remi more than them.

These people all need drugs. All of them. Can Jenelle bring back enough benzos for the entire cast?

That’s all for this week. Don’t forget guys, #PrayForJenellesNumbTongue

To read The Ashley’s recap of the previous episode of ‘Teen Mom 2,’ click here!

(Photos: MTV)

93 Comments

  1. Leah scares me, she texts and looks half asleep at the wheel when she drives. With the children in the back. That is an accident waiting to happen. She is delusional.
    Great recap, really had me giggling.


  2. Oh, hi Jenelle….I wonder what she would do if she had custody of Jace when she headed to Spring Break….because she deserves a spring break not being in school, and all that jazz. Also, Barbara was giving her the opportunity to parent for the soap box thing. If you wanted your child, you would be there with bells on! Who is going to watch Kaiser roll when she is on spring break. She probably counted on Barbara, but was equally pissed to find out she wasn’t going to babysit cinnamon rolls. Her drug seeking behavior is obvious, to everybody, obviously. Poor Barbara.


  3. 2 words, Jah-nelle: Withdrawal Symptoms. My job involves treating/medically managing detox in patients. Every symptom she named made me think Withdrawal. Could be because I see it every single day, but who would be surprised? She’s especially idiotic if she’s hunting for Xanax. That stuff is the devil, as dependency can happen within weeks and the withdrawal can be awful. Also, people don’t realize that once past the “detox” stage, for opiates or for benzos like Xanax, there can still be crappy symptoms for a very long time.


    1. Sounds like she was Dr shopping. The Carolinas know junkie Jenelle a tad too well, so she jumped on a plane got all dramatic and tried to score more benzos.


  4. Did anyone else catch the ring on Cole’s left ring finger when he came out to take Aubree to the dance. You can see it when he scratches his nose but it was such a blur. Maybe they are already married.


  5. I think this might be my FAVOURITE recap EVER!! I laughed so hard that my family came to see what I was doing, so I had to read it aloud!!

    I’m convinced that Nelly fell off the wagon with Uncle Dave and all of her current “symptoms” are a result of withdrawals. The reason she has to seek her narcs from doctors is because her current soulmate is more possessive than a “Doverman” so Facebooking her ex-dealer Kieffa for a fix is impossible.

    Kail’s still miserable, Chelsea’s got crows for eyebrows, and Leah looks 40 years old.


  6. So when Gracie says she never gets breakfast she is being dramatic but when Ali says Miranda never carries her backpack that’s a fact? Leah’s sister pissed me off so bad almost more than her mom does. Ali and Gracie are 6. They say things for attention and are jealous of the new baby. Perfectly normal. Who even knows if the cousin was coaching her? It’s pretty shady she was filming it! Leah’s whole family is enabling her. Jenelle is a sorry excuse for a mom and is only worried about keeping herself in the spotlight so she doesn’t have to get a real job. I can’t stand her. She’s more delusional and unlikable than Leah because Leah does sometimes have moments of clarity and sometimes even sounds like a reasonable person. If it wasn’t for MTV Jenelle would be dead from drugs or homeless. Adam is a douche as usual but I thought it was sweet that Aubree wanted to take both of them! Kailyn is so over Javi. Poor Isaac and Lincoln.


    1. Yes. A six year old is never dramatic when they’re jealous. Ali got TONS of attention, now the baby is soaking up some of that. Let’s be real..we’re talking about Leah. If Miranda tells ali to carry her own backpack once, it’s a huge deal.


  7. “Backpackgate” just about killed me! lolololol Love it!!!! Side note- Is it just me or at the end of each episode, when they start the slow music and show scenes for the end of the show, why do they always show Miranda in the kitchen with a totally pissed off look on her face looking at the camera? I don’t have an opinion on her really, she doesn’t bother me, but why is that the only angle they will show of her? I understand if she doesn’t want Remington on film but either have her smiling doing something else or don’t show her. All it does is feed into Leah and her family’s delusions that “Miranda is such a bitch and so unfriendly” etc etc


    1. Leah probably told them to only show Miranda at her worst angles, since it’s not “fair” that MTV is always “editing” Leah with her eyes rolling in the back of her head, smoking, and slurring her words. God forbid MTV show Miranda looking prettier than Leah on top of being a better mother figure.


      1. Let’s be real here. Even pissed off, Miranda still looks prettier than Leah. I’ve been wondering all season what is up with Leah’s hair. There are better tools to style one’s hair than a fork and a toaster. Electrocuted hair is not a good look.


  8. Did anyone else catch when Leah said, (in last night’s episode) when she was reading the text from Miranda, that how dare Miranda was calling Ali a liar? Um… Leah YOU called Ali a liar to her face in the car when Gracie told you Ali told Corey and Miranda that you are late to school and they don’t get breakfast! Remember Leah said, “Ali, why do you lie?”
    Then Leah acts like Miranda’s text was so bitchy when retelling it to her friend or sister (I can’t keep up with the hillbillies) and the at the end of the episode she’s saying how civilized their texts were. Jeez Leah, you twist things so much that you can’t even get your lies straight! Such a freakin hypocrite! What is up with Leah not being able to have or make a thought on her own? She acts like she can’t understand unless one of her enablers is there to help her understand. Can Leah do anything on her own?


    1. Give Leah some credit; of course she can do things on her own. She has no problem getting HIGH! HIGH! all on her own.


    2. I can’t wait for Ashley’s recap of that episode. There was so much screaming and self pity all packed into 1 episode. Between Jenelle’s banshee screams and saying Babs never loved her and didn’t care she was “dying” to Leah feeling gained up on by Miranda (again), and feeling like the victim…this is gonna make an entertaining recap.


  9. There are a gazillion reasons for Barbara to not let Jace go to Jenelle’s house, but one major reason is that David is court ordered to not have any contact with his own son because he is a physically abusive psychopath. I am so scared for these children.
    #saveJaceandKaisah


    1. I couldn’t agree more. Especially after his argument with Babs. Between getting physically aggressive towards her and repeatedly referring to Kaiser as his son, he creeps me out so much. I am also scared for his daughter.


  10. 1 – There is nothing wrong with Miranda asking Ali to carry her own backpack, unless it’s filled with weights. ADLs like walking and holding items will actually help Ali to continue to function at higher level than if everyone does things for her (I think).

    2 – It’s obvious Janelle went to NYC to try and score narcs. For her sake and her kids, she needs rehab. There are legit reasons for painkillers, but someone with her hx of addiction should never take them. There are lots of decent meds and other interventions that could help her if she truly wanted to get better. It seems like she only wants narcs.


  11. -That was the most pathetic attempt made by Leah and her family to make Corey and Miranda look like “unfit” parents. If that’s the worst they’ve got on Corey and Miranda’s parenting, they’re only further proving that Leah is NOT the more suitable parent.

    -Jenelle is a friggin hypochondriac (lets see Nathan pronounce that word…HA)

    -Adam never fails at being an absentee father…but is CONSTANTLY wailing about how he wants to spend more time with his kids. Well Adam…there was your opportunity and you blew it….as expected!

    -Kail and Javi are just miserable together…I am glad that her and Vee get along so well though for the sake of Isaac…it just makes everything easier for everyone. You could tell Javi was annoyed that she was going out to lunch with her. I have no idea what his deal was/is with Vee and Jo, but soon enough we’ll see how he’s going to co-parent with Kail.


  12. This had me rolling with laughter. Ashley, I’m going to put the snark aside for a second…just want to say how much I appreciate the site and your recaps. You do it better than anyone. You are SUCH a talented writer. Comedic writing is HARD, but you obviously have a natural gift for it. Never stop!


  13. I don’t know what Jenelle was expecting when she, a known addict, asked a doctor for benzos. Not prescribing them has nothing to do with judging her. Benzos are highly addictive, just like opiates. Opiates may have been her previous drug of choice, but it is incredibly common for addicts to trade one drug for another. They can very easily become just as addicted to a new drug.


    1. Yes! My grandfather drank for over 40 years (daily and excessively, to the point of drunkenness) the he got “sober” by trading alcohol abuse for Valium abuse. Same addiction, different drug.


      1. Exactly. It’s so easy for addicts to justify, to themselves, using a different drug. In their mind, if it isn’t their previous drug of choice, then there is no problem and they won’t abuse it. Jenelle herself did exactly that when she said, “I was addicted to heroin, not benzos.”

        Plus, she told her doctor that she needed Xanax. It is a huge red flag when a patient (with no previous medical history and/or diagnosis that would indicate a legitimate need for narcotics) tells a doctor what narcotic they need and specifically mention it by name.

        I also have a hard time believing that she has never abused benzos. When she was using heroin with Kieffer, there was one scene where he asked her if she wanted him to go get her Xanax. There was also another scene where he couldn’t find a bottle of Xanax and thought she took it. She also got arrested and charged with possession of a controlled substance without a prescription. That substance was Klonopin, which is also a benzo.


  14. Jenelle has an illness alright it’s called being an attention whore.

    Leah it’s clear that you are in denial about what you feed your kids.

    As for Aubree she looked so pretty! It was nice to see Cole be their for her! Maybe Adam has a good reason why he was a no show… Getting a new tattoo, fixing his mohawk (since he thinks he has hair) or at the gym. Whatever the excuse maybe it’s a lame one so expect to hear one of theses excuses on the next Teen Mom 2.


    1. I think he already said why he missed it, when Aubree asked he said “I had to do this” (as he pointed he pointed to the gym, he was in some weight lifting competition & had to practice)


  15. The whole Miranda situation drives me crazy! She’s carrying her new born child, that’s a good reason not to carry Ali’s backpack. Also, I know she has MD, but it’s a backpack, why is Ali unable to carry it from the car to the house? If it’s that hard for her, why don’t they get her a rolling backpack? Or just wait until Miranda puts the baby down?

    I agree with another poster thought, I think Ali and Gracie badmouth Corey and Miranda to Leah for the attention. The fact that two 6 year olds get that much of a rise out of her is kind of pathetic .


  16. I’m so glad Cole genuinely cares for Chelsea and Aubree, it won’t fix the hurt from Adam but at least Aubree will have a Dad in her life to be there for her. Seriously Adam what were you doing that night?
    Convenient for Jenelle to claim Barb “took” Jace when the entire world saw her WILLINGLY sign her rights away. I literally LOLed when Barb said “no it’s not MS, how about diabetes?” Paging Dr. Babs!
    When Leah mentioned Ali always eats for her my first thought was probably because all Leah serves is junk. I thought that whole scene with Ali was ridiculous. She’s 6, of course she is going to be upset that Miranda is giving her newborn sister attention. Grow up people! I’m sure there was more to the story than that, despite the drama between the adults Miranda has always treated the girls right. Children tend to exaggerate and Leah and her crew were crying like Miranda put bricks in the kids bag and beat her. Ugh, they annoy me so much!


    1. My husband’s ex wife coached their son, who was 4 at the time, to scream and cry you’re ignoring me! Whenever our newborn daughter and I were in the same room. The second he walked into the house and saw her for the first time he screamed it and ran off, and I looked at my husband and said I told you. It was so bad, my mother in law wouldn’t acknowledge our daughter, because she didn’t want to make the son jealous. It was the first time meeting her granddaughter and she didn’t hold her or speak to her the entire month visit for fear the son would have a meltdown. It also got so bad the ex wife would tell him on the phone to physically hurt our daughter, so we couldn’t leave her alone to even nap. I’m waiting for the day Leah goes that crazy and tries getting the girls to do something crazy to Remi


    2. I am going to have to disagree that jenelle “willingly” signed her rights away. If I recall she wasn’t given a choice because the mtv check wasn’t enough to pay for a lawyer at the time Bc barb was taking her to court. I feel like barb totally took advantage of the fact that jenelle was 16 and obviously unable to just move out and provide for her child.

      And not that jenelles is in any way a fit mother, Barbara soooo is not either! Since season 1 she has been using jace to control jenelle.


  17. Just when you think a human being can’t get more delusional than Leah, her sister opens her mouth…

    This family is a mess. Those poor little girls


  18. It doesn’t occur to any of these dumbasses that a child with muscular issues could use a rolling backpack. If the Walmart doesn’t carry them, maybe try ordering one from Amazon.

    Also, Leah was already crying before getting the phone call about the backpack, so they got her good and worked up before filming that scene. Nice.


    1. But if Ali is given a rolling backpack, that will be one less thing Leah and her family can complain about. Leah needs all of the proof she can get her cheese puff stained hands on to prove to the world that she is a victim of that dern Corey Tyler and Miranda!


  19. First of all I think the reason Leah’s kids say anything negative about Miranda is because badmouthing Corey and Miranda is the only time they really seem to get much of Leah’s attention. She pays all the attention to the baby.. Um even kail who gave birth to two boys worried about that! It’s hard with a newborn especially one born early. Every mom has been there that I know. Not to mention that Miranda is not their mom and Corey seems to try to push the girls more than Leah. So Miranda may just be going by what Corey does as a respectful step parent.
    Oh and lurch is creepy. He seriously reminds me of one of those guys from how to catch a predator.


  20. How dare that evil bitch of a stepmom make Ali carry her backpack to the car. Do you know just how heavy a 6 year olds backpack really is? ITS CHILD ABUSE DAMNIT!

    Jesus God Leah. It defiantely can’t be the fact that Ali is used to getting all the attention. Or the fact that she might just be using her disability to get out of carrying a bag. Leah and her whole family are crazy.


  21. Victoria is a frickin’ psycho. I think The Nathan and her should hook up. I know she’s married but she condones her sister’s infidelity so why not?


  22. Is anyone gonna mention the fact that Chastity, aside from being a shit starter, is also a giant pill head too?


    1. They probably all are. They are literally enabling Leah to make sure as much money flows in from Corey as possible. Jeremy isn’t putting up a fight so they don’t have to go after him.


  23. Allow me to remind everyone that Babs did not take Jace away from Jenelle. Jenelle CHOSE to sign over temporary custody to Babs,and then she consistently chose drugs and partying and booooooooyfriends over her son. Babs wants Jenelle to get custody of Jace back. Jenelle obviously doesn’t want him back;if she did she would have gotten her act together and made it happen.


    1. Didn’t CPS step in and tell Jenelle that she could either sign over temporary custody of Jace to Babs or else he would be removed from the home and placed in foster care? I could be wrong (someone please correct me if I am), but I could have sworn I read that is what really happened and that her choice to sign over custody wasn’t as voluntary as MTV made it seem.


  24. I truly believe Jennelle is creeped out by Lurch and realizing what a hole she dug herself in by letting him move in, and since she’s in denial about that she’s manifesting it as “symptoms” as an outlet for her frustration at the whole situation.


    1. Lurch is scared to break up with Jenelle because he has seen what happened with Nathan, he is slowly poisoning her he realized that the money & free vacations is not worth it.


  25. lol, to avoid carrying the backpack, Leah just doesn’t take them to school! Why didn’t Miranda think of that?


    1. They make little back packs for children like suitcase luggage that have wheels so they can pull it along instead of hurting their backs trying to carry a back pack. Problem solved. Oh and she’s also jealous of the new baby. She’s use to getting all the attention…that’s probably why she made a big deal out of it.


  26. I know there are a lot of people out there who are making fun of Jenelle’s illness, and it’s sad. I’m going through almost identical symptoms, and let me tell you, it’s real. I’ve been to multiple specialists, have had numerous tests done, and all come back clean. It’s beyond frustrating. No one would fake what we are going through. I feel like a shell of my former self. I hope we both find some answers.


    1. The problem with jenelles illness, is that is seems to pick and choose when it affects her. She can go out and party and take trips no problem, but needs someone to watch kaiser all the time and neglects to pick jace up. If something where really wrong, we aren’t completely heartless to make fun of her. We just call bs


      1. So true. Having said that, we all know that Jenelle will do anything for attention and is not willing to take responsability. With this illness, too. It’s not “her fault” that she cannot be the best parent she can be, no: it’s “her illness” that prevents her from being that. Or it’s “her mom that won’t allow her to have Jace”, etc.

        B-to-the-S.


      2. I can agree with that. I mean, even though I feel so lousy, I still have responsibilities and I HAVE to work. My doctors are telling me to take time off, but I can’t afford to. I power through as best I can. I’ve also been trying acupuncture and running and exercising to see if that helps. I’m doing everything I can and I feel maybe if she got up more and did more she might be able to power through as well. But it is definitely tough to get up and going with these symptoms.


        1. Same thing happened to me. Dr’s told me I was fine, thyroid was fine…it was all in my head. I hired a medical researcher who tested my antibodies…they were 849. Normal person has 0. I was very sick…with Hashimotos, adrenal and other issues. Don’t give up. Check into Lyme as well or any auto immune issues. They allhe have crazy making vague symptoms that docs have a hard time diagnosing. Good luck


          1. @Gina, samesies. Hashimotos which eventually lead to hypothyroidism played over a constant backing track of chronic migraine disease. The symptoms were difficult attribute to something specific and it took years to get an accurate diagnosis. It’s.The.Fucking.Worst.

            @Caitlin, hang in there. It’s a rough journey to get definitive answers, but don’t give up. You have to be your own advocate and make the doctors hear you.

            I don’t know if Jenelle is or isn’t suffering from a legitimate ailment (I suspect she’s greatly exaggerating any symptoms she may have in hopes of some prescription). I do know that she seems to be nastier, less mature, less rational, totally ungrateful, and more delusional than ever. She’s using her health situation (whatever the fuck it is) as free pass to be lazier than normal and behave like a complete c-bag 100% of the time. I didn’t this k it was possible, but these days she’s treating the people around her EVEN WORSE than the ke$ha obsessed-hair feather version of Jenelle. This has been her golden ticket.

            I can’t imagine what kind of monster she’d be if she actually had real life, work, and various other obligations to cope with during her health crisis.

            It’s a really hard thing to go through, as some of you guys well know. It can be difficult to get people to take you seriously. Jenelle acting out like a petulant, attention seeking toddler does nothing but live up to one of the nastier stereotypes of a woman with an invisible illness. It’s absolutely infuriating and such a disservice to all of us.
            There’s a stigma attached to autoimmune, endocrine, nerve, and certain neurological conditions. As if learning to live with a disease or disorder that’s “invisible” wasn’t difficult enough in and of itself, we’ve got this bitch of a bitch perpetuating the stereotype of the irrational, over dramastic, unstable, incapable, frail woman best suited to a parlor with a fainting couch.

            Ugh. Just ugh.


    2. Hypochondria?And this is absolutely no mean comments,because if you truly believe that you are so sick and the doctors can’t find a single thing and you are maby actually very healthy….I mean is it maby better to see a psychiatrist?Somethimes it is something psychic.I whis you the best and hope soon you feel better.


      1. I’ve been seeing a psychiatrist for most of my life and she agrees there is something wrong. The neurologist agrees with me that there is something wrong. They’re testing me this week for silent migraines and seizures.


          1. Yep! That was one of the first things they tested for. I also had them check to see if I was diabetic as well.


        1. Sounds like you have a lot of the symptoms for Fibromyalgia. Look into that. Hope it gets better for you.


      2. They have send me to psycho somatic pain therapy. It was all in my head!
        Already told them I could not connect stressful times to more pain, physical activities, yes.
        Sure, stress has something to do with pain levels and other complaints, that is a fact.
        Saw my kids having medical issues too, so I have put my foot down and asked for a rheumatologist to see me. Two visits and years of mystery solved.
        A lot of complaints have a connection with stress. Your body starts to malfunction once your stress center is overloaded.
        But not everyone who can’t be diagnosed needs to see a shrink cause it is all between the ears.
        Well, actually you do after years of misdiagnosis and stress but for those reasons ;-).


    3. Your pain may be real, and I don’t think anyone has reason to doubt that. But her pain is not real, it is 100% made up. You cannot possibly have *all* of the symptoms she has said she has, and neither can she, without being in so much debilitating pain that there is absolutely no “powering through it”. Anyone with ALL of those same symptoms would be completely bedridden with no way to get up and make it through even a couple of hours moving around, let alone all day. She randomly picks symptoms of random illnesses and diseases that don’t fit.


      1. One of the only symptom I don’t have that she has is the chronic pain. It’s mostly the head stuff. Fatigue, blurred/double vision, migraines. I get what she means my “spidey senses”. It’s like my eyes, mind and ears are hyperactive and want to see and hear everything around me and it’s overwhelming.


        1. Okay, have just read the rest now. That doesn’t sound like fibro.

          Wouldn’t you wish people like JE could trade places for one day with someone with a real condition?
          Would love to be able to switch it on and off like she does!
          That bitch would hit the emergency stop after a few hours in my body and wheelchair cause she couldn’t take it anymore.


    4. Have you been tested for fibro myalgia?
      Cause that is what parts of JE’s symptoms make me think of, when they would not be withdrawal symptoms.
      Good luck, correct diagnosis took me about 20 years.
      I have another rare condition (EDS) and secondary fibro.


  27. Hilarious as usual! Not surprising that Jenelle was so shocked the doctor’s office closed at 4…after all, why woul she have any concept of people having jobs and working shifts?


    1. That made me lol. She is a MA who did internships (I know she isn’t working because she can’t pass the test for cert), so she of all people should know how it works with dr. offices.
      She is so dumb.


  28. There’s always 101 reasons to laugh during The Ashley’s TM2 recaps…but of all things, ‘her britches fit just fine, thank you very much’ has tickled me into a fit of silly giggles that I can’t shake off! No clue why ? Thanks The Ashley for making me look totally cray at 9.30 in the morning (UK) ???

    In order to compose myself; I will now take a serious minute to pray for the pins & needles in Jenelle’s left foot…?…nope I can’t do it…’britches’ hehehehe


  29. Great recap!

    Jessica: interesting poll, and a toughy, too! They are both a complete mess!! I don’t doubt that they would each judge each other for their choices, Leah being holier-than-thou and Jenelle being completely delusional and selfish.

    Do you guys follow Babs’s (fake) instagram? It is utterly hilarious: she posted a montage of Jenelle listing all her symptoms with pictures from her NY-trips in the mix.


  30. I posted this in discussion of Leah [on another site when preview clips came out] this past week in regards to her lying about swilling soda with her daughter after Leah insisted they don’t even drink soda. It was being discussed she [Leah] was being hypocritical, and that was very polite, IMO. Here was my take:

    Screw hypocritical. This whacky pill fiend is pathological, on many levels.

    Her kids should be yanked from her so damned fast her head would spin. Then she could be free to be left sitting in a pill induced stupor, babbling about dye in baby’s heads and blinking her extra stupid, spaced out, over-eyeshadowed, inbred gaze upon some other unsuspecting idiot who is dumb enough to get into bed with her and knock her up again for his 15 minutes of fame.

    What a phucking waste. Those poor kids.


    1. As babies her mom and Leah gave the twins coffee it was filmed on teen mom 2
      Dawnio is a hillbilly enabling fuckwit


    1. JE is narcissistic first and then delusional (she has an untreated bipolar disorder).

      Leah is delusional first and then narcissistic (coached into that by her family).

      Did Leah ever get a diagnosis when she was in rehab ‘for stress’?


  31. Great recap as always! Leah answer her hillbilly kin get mad because Miranda can’t carry a backpack while holding a newborn, but they’re hunky dory with Leah driving while texting, feeding the girls crap, and zonked out on pillses?


  32. Just wanna give a shout out to Chelsea. You get paid six figures to be totally normal and film boring scenes. You go, girl. You’re robbing mtv and it’s fantastic


      1. Leah should be sharing pillses with poor Jenelle and help a bitch out with her molecule-seeing eyes.

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