‘Teen Mom OG’ Season 6 Reunion Part 2 Recap: A Bad Wig & an Onstage Brawl

When you're about to be in the middle of a brawl and you realize you're wearing a borrowed sportcoat...
When you’re about to be in the middle of a brawl and you realize you’re wearing a borrowed sportcoat…

Over the years, The Ashley has recapped episodes of Teen Mom and proclaimed them to be “The Best Episode Ever.” While all of those episode were surely worthy examples of premium, trash-tastic TV, they pale in comparison to the episode The Ashley is about to recap. She can confirm, without a doubt, that the Teen Mom OG Season 6 Reunion episode is the BEST EPISODE EVER.

I mean–Jesus God (Leah), not only does it include on-stage fight footage that mirrors the legendary fights of The Jerry Springer Show circa 1999, but also has someone wearing a horrible Halloween wig non-ironically, and, of course, and a “Donna Martin Graduates!” style cast walk-out. This is what dreams are made of, people! (Well…at least The Ashley’s dreams…which are admittedly sad.)

"Any chance I can get my therapy horse to sit out here to support me through this taping?"
“Any chance I can get my therapy horse to sit out here to support me through this taping?”

The Ashley had intended to recap the episodes that aired before this, since she is very behind but…she’s basically foaming at the mouth to recap this particular episode, so this episode skips to the front of the line…

Let’s get started!

Amber and Catelynn had their chance to chat with the Good Docta on the first part of the Reunion episode, so this part is supposed to focus on Farrah and Maci. As we all know, though, Amber ends up making a, um, “guest appearance” on this episode too.

"Maybe he won't ask about the whole accidental pregnancy thing..?"
“Maybe if we give him a leather pocket T-shirt, Dr. Drew won’t ask about the whole accidental pregnancy thing..?”

We start out with Maci and Taylor sitting on the couch with Dr. Drew. After we watch footage of Maci “discovering” that her growing beer gut was actually a five-months-along “Oopsie Baby,” the kid shoots from Maci’s still-unmarried loins, they give the kid a bad name, and then get married. You know how it goes… The recapping of the season is boring, although it is nice to get to revisit Ryan‘s bulging bug eyes a few more times.

Maci confirms that, despite all the changes that have happened in her life this year, she’s happier than ever. She confirms that she is #Blessed.

"It was a ding-dang miracle! Honest!"
“It was a ding-dang miracle! Honest!”

Dr. Drew brings up the fact that Maci keeps having accidental pregnancies, despite being on a show that’s supposedly about unplanned pregnancy prevention. Wouldn’t ya know it, guys? Maci and Taylor did everything right– they used birth control and everything– but the Pregnancy Gods decided that they needed another youngin’ anyway. Taylor says that they are part of the 1 percent of couples who get pregnant while using birth control!

It’s remarkable!

Maci confirms that she will not be having any more miracle babies but…we’ll see…

The next topic is Ryan. She confirms that he’s still a piece of crap dad, but with small pockets of decent parenting in between. (Of course, most of the time in those “pockets” Ryan is napping, but hey…I guess that counts?)

"Hey Maci.... how you doin'?"
“Hey Maci…. how you doin’?”

They then pluck Ryan out of the sleeping bag he’s set up in the green room so that he can go onstage and talk to the Doc. He brings his mom, Jen, along with him. Jen has obviously dressed Ryan for the occasion because he’s actually looking decent for a change. His hair is combed, his pupils are (almost) a normal size, and he’s all dressed up like he’s ready to manage an Outback Steakhouse.

I can see Maci’s heart a-fluttering from here!

"Oh, he's gonna ask about those cats, isn't he?"
“Oh, he’s gonna ask about those cats, isn’t he?”

Of course, Dr. Drew goes straight for the gossip jugular, getting right into Ryan’s big falling out with his dad, Larry. He’s trying to get someone to reveal what caused the fight, but Ryan & Co. don’t want to dish. Jen says Larry was mad that Ryan didn’t follow through with a promise to clean out the garage.

UM…Sure guys. I believe that as much as I believe Maci and Taylor’s “one percent” miracle pregnancy explanation. A man does not say that he would “not piss on Ryan even if he was on fire” because someone forgot to take a broom and dustpan to the garage. Come.On.

Dr. Drew’s obviously not buying it, but, well, they’re probably not paying him enough to press the issue farther so he moves on to the topic of Ryan moving out.

Jen says she’s happier now that Ryan is living on his own…in her other house. Ryan is actually somewhat coherent and personable throughout the conversation. (Also, his eyes are open and he’s keeping all of his saliva in his mouth; that’s something we haven’t seen from him in at least a season!)

This is literally the face that Ryan made when it was suggested that he get a job....
This is literally the face that Ryan made when it was suggested that he get a job….

Dr. Drew just can’t help himself. He asks Ryan why the hell he’s in his mid-twenties and not working.

Whoa! Did someone just say the “W” word on ‘Teen Mom?’ Is that even allowed?! I’m surprised the network didn’t make them censor the word out.

Ryan just stares at Dr. Drew. He then asks the Doc, “Why?”

This has got to kill Dr. Drew. Even though he’s basically an overexposed reality star now, he is still a medical doctor. When he was Ryan’s age, he was probably almost always elbow-deep in blood, guts and germs while doing his medical residency. Seeing that nearly all of these “kids” are unemployed must make Dr. Drew feel a little sick (and maybe even a little guilty, knowing that in some small way he has contributed to it?)

Ryan calls out Maci, asking her, “Hey, where do you work?” Maci reminds him that, duh, she owns a company. Does he think those leather-pocketed tees ship themselves?! GEEZ!

"Nice try, Dr. Drew! I ain't spillin' no beans!"
“Nice try, Dr. Drew! I ain’t spillin’ no beans!”

Next, they drag out Ryan’s new live-in galpal, Mackenzie. Dr. Drew wastes no time in asking her what caused the fight between Ryan and Larry. (Dr. Drew, I like your persistence!) Unfortunately, Mackenzie ain’t spillin’ the tea, and Dr. Drew honestly looks bummed out.

Drew won’t drop the topic of the fight, and soon, he’s reduced Ryan to tears. This may be the first time we’ve ever seen Ryan cry. (It’s nice to see him use his eyes for something other than creeping everyone the eff out.) Drew seems genuinely happy to see Ryan show emotion.

"It's time? I have to bring her out? Like...we for sure can't do the interview via Skype?"
“It’s time? I have to bring her out? Like…we for sure can’t do the interview via Skype?”

Drew realizes he can stall no longer. He has stretched Maci’s segment out as long as he can, and he must now face the ‘Teen Mom’ Tornado herself, Farrah.

Farrah drags her ample backdoor out on the stage, and Drew is quick to remind her that unlike all of the other girls on the show, she is all alone. Farrah watches the clips of herself from the season, and seems totally unfazed by her horrific behavior toward Simon, her mother Debra, her father Michael, her employees and even her own daughter. She just sits there watching herself, probably just thinking about how great she looked this whole season.

Drew brings up Farrah’s fight with Debra (Round 395), and Farrah explains that the fight was caused by Deb, who refuses to admit that she gets engaged more often than Jenelle Evans. She also says that she’s tired of her mom calling her a liar.

"Honestly I feel like you should be locked in the Porta-Potty with the other peasants as punishment for making that statement about me..."
“Honestly I feel like you should be locked in the Porta-Potty with the other peasants as punishment for making that statement about me…”

Next, Dr. Drew dares to bring up the fury that Farrah has for him. (As you’ll remember Farrah flipped out when Dr. Drew joked during a radio show interview a few months ago that sometimes he wants to “strangle” her.) Farrah is still angry with the Doc about those comments, and says that none of her other doctors say things like that.

Drew quickly reminds Farrah that he is NOT actually her doctor. In fact, he’s no one’s doctor at this point. Unless Farrah’s butt literally explodes and it becomes an emergency situation, Drew is not medically obligated to act as a doctor to Farrah.

That face you make when you just got zinged by a TV doctor and you can't think up a good response...
That face you make when you just got zinged by a TV doctor and you can’t think up a good response…

“I’m hosting a talk show, I’m not your doctor,” Drew tells her.

Basically, what he’s saying is the fact that he has a medical degree is irrelevant here. They could literally put a sport coat on Producer Heather‘s unused hairbrush and sit it in Drew’s chair and it would serve the same purpose that Drew does on this show.

Farrah is not amused by the zinger, but she does accept Drew’s apology. She then tells us that she’s keeping Deb and Michael at a distance until they can all figure out how to be decent human beings toward one another. Farrah is actually being semi-decent. She’s saying things that make sense, and even (sort of) taking some responsibility for her strained relationship with her parents.

Ryan’s awake, Farrah’s rational…is this Freaky Friday or something!?! Next you’re gonna tell me Gary‘s over in the corner doing sit-ups!

Seriously...there are no words...
Seriously…there are no words…

It’s time to bring out Farrah’s parents. Michael walks out on stage with a red-haired woman. Who is this mysterious flame-haired vixen, you ask? Why, it’s Debra in a red wig, of course!

No, seriously.

Debra is sitting there, proudly sporting a red wig that looks like it came straight out of the Party City After-Halloween Clearance Sale. She legit looks like she scalped the Little Mermaid!

The cheap wig is shining bright under the stage lights, as is Deb’s beaming face. Michael looks totally embarrassed for her, and for himself, because he used to knock boots with this woman.

Somehow Drew manages to keep a straight face and initially doesn’t mention Debra’s ridiculous mop. Finally, he can hold it in no longer, and has to ask Deb what the hell died on her damn head.

"A whole new wooooorld.....!"
“A whole new wooooorld…..!”

Debra smiles from underneath her Little Mermaid wig. (To be fair, though, the quality of the wig is so bad, it’s more like a cheap Little Mermaid knock-off costume from China than the real thing. It no doubt came out of a package marked “Tiny Underwater Girl Costume” or something.)

Although the sight of Deb in that thing is both horrifying and hilarious, things get downright creepy when Deb explains why she’s wearing the wig.

Apparently, Debra’s fiance, Colonel Sanders MD, once told Deb that he really, really liked Farrah’s dark red hair. He liked it so much, actually, that he asked Deb to consider changing her hair color so that it looked more like her daughter’s. (I’ll give you a moment to let that creepiness digest.)

Naturally, Debra would never pass up the chance to look like her Hip & Happenin’ daughter, so she ran over to a wig shop and picked up this catastrophe and plopped it on her head. As she’s explaining this, Farrah is just giving Dr. Drew a look that says, “And you’re still wondering why the hell I need weekly therapy?!”

"Do you guys really expect me to have a serious conversation with this woman while she has that THING on her damn head?"
“Do you guys really expect me to have a serious conversation with this woman while she has that THING on her damn head?”

The BEST part of the episode (until that point, anyway…stay tuned…) is when a jovial Debra asks the audience what they think of her wig. She’s clearly expecting one of those “Ricki Lake Show”-esque moments where the entire studio audience stands up and applauds, while the camera pans to one woman in particularly who is both clapping and nodding passionately. (There was always one!)

Unfortunately for Deb, not one of the people in the audience even grunts in approval. It’s total radio silence from all of the horrified audience members. Deb is forced to give herself the thumbs-up sign and utter a quiet, self-hating “Awesome!” It’s Class A Awkwardness…and I freaking love it!

God Bless America!

"Oh my God, Mom, stop it, you're embarrassing yourself."
“Oh my God, Mom, stop it, you’re embarrassing yourself.”

They fight about a few more things, including Deb’s man, his fried chicken empire, and therapy, and soon they corral Michael, Deb and Deb’s strands ‘o’ shame off the stage. They bring out Simon which means….it’s almost time for the Fight of the Century.

Let’s get ready to rummmmmble!

Simon comes out and plops down on the couch next to Farrah. They tell the Doc that they are currently “friends” and then Simon regales us with “the real story” behind Farrah buying herself an engagement ring. Simon says that Farrah and Sophia called him at 3 a.m. and demanded that he buy “them” (um?) a $64,000 ring. Simon says he negotiated the price down to $30,000 for Farrah, who bought the ring for herself.

Somehow in The Brain of Farrah, that translated to Simon wanting to propose. Simon says he had no intention of proposing.

“Who even knows what happened?” Farrah says.

Um…Simon. He just told you.

Simon confirms that when he does actually want to propose to a girl, she’ll know it.

Finally, after listening to almost an HOUR of people talking about crap we don’t really care about, Dr. Drew brings up that special subject we’ve all been waiting for– Simon’s Snapchats! (In case you didn’t know, Simon would do weekly ‘recaps’ of the episodes on Snapchat, making fun of Farrah and her co-stars.)

Simon says that, while the Snapchats were all in good fun, the cast members provide him with plenty of ammo to make fun of them. (The Ashley hears that!)

"If you close your eyes and stay real quiet, you can almost hear the charge of Amber heading this way..."
“If you close your eyes and stay real quiet, you can almost hear the charge of Amber heading this way…”

Dr. Drew calls Simon a troll, and Farrah sticks up for her man friend, pointing out that Simon should be commended for making fun of people outright, rather than behind their backs like “an Amber or a Maci or a Catelynn.”

The Ashley knows what’s coming and she’s more excited than Debra during a Forever 21 sale!

“I heard you called somebody a pedophile?” Dr. Drew says to Simon.

I can’t breathe…I’m more excited than Jesse Spano on caffeine pills!

Simon begins to say that the comment was all “in fun,” but Farrah interrupts and apologizes…in her own way.

“I’m sorry that Matt probably looks like it!” she says.

"Hark! Who goes there?!"
“Hark! Who goes there?!”

Farrah keeps flapping her over-inflated lips and all of a sudden there’s a rumble at stage left. Simon notices what’s coming and looks positively gleeful.

“F**k that bitch!” we hear someone bellow from backstage.

All of a sudden, we see Amber charging to the stage, finger pointed toward Farrah and ready to show this biotch what happens to people with loose lips in prison.

“Uh-oh,” Dr. Drew says, obviously wanting to get out of the way before Amber’s fist start a’flyin’!

"I'll get you my pretty! And your little fake boyfriend too!"
“I’ll get you my pretty! And your little fake boyfriend too!”

Soon Amber is clomping toward Farrah screaming at the Plastic One to “shut her f**king mouth!”

Drew moves out of the way (hey– he doesn’t want to get blood on that sportcoat!), while Simon looks giddy. A producer scurries from the sideline to hold Amber back but she is unstoppable. Simon goes to grab Amber and she bitch-slaps his hand away. Meanwhile, Farrah’s doing her best to move her face into a “surprised look.”

“I’m gonna stand up for my f**king man!” Amber screams.

At this point there’s only one thing for us to say: “JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!”

What basically all of America has wanted to do to Farrah all season...
What basically all of America has wanted to do to Farrah all season…

Here’s to hoping someone starts throwing chairs…or a shoe…or Deb’s Halloween wig!

The producer and Drew are no longer able to hold Amber back. The security guards finally realize they’re going to have to protect Farrah or Amber’s gonna turn her into a pile of bad extensions and melted plastic. They hold Ambie back, as Michael and Producer Larry head to the stage. She manages to get in one good swat, but somehow ends up missing Farrah’s mug.

Amber….you had one job, girl. You had one job.

Please, God, let someone throw a shoe...or a plastic body part...
Please, God, let someone throw a shoe…or a plastic body part…

Farrah looks unfazed and, at one point, is twirling her hair. She seems to have no idea that there’s an ex-con just inches from her face who is dead set on turning her into a tetherball. We can hear Michael yelling something at Amber, and I’m fairly certain he’s not telling her that he likes her new hairdo.

Soon, Matt charges out and the stage is full of people trying to 1) calm Amber down and 2) make sure this is all getting caught on camera. Michael and Matt start to get into it, and Matt legit charges at Michael like an angry bull. His nostrils are flaring and he goes right at Michael. His face is all contorted with anger, and the producers are doing their best to hold Matt back.

"Matt angry. Matt push Michael."
“Matt angry. Matt push Michael.”

Matt gets in a good push and Michael goes flying to the floor. Meanwhile, Simon is standing at the far back of the stage, grinning like a kid on Christmas. That’s exactly how The Ashley would have looked had she been able to witness this trash-tastrophe in person!

Soon, a security guard gets Matt into a headlock and he’s just about foaming at the mouth to get another lunge in at Michael. Amber comes back on stage and tells Farrah to never speak of her again.

Farrah randomly starts counting (as you do).

“1—-2—-3!” she shouts for no apparent reason.

My face during this entire scene...
My face during this entire scene…

She then calls Amber and Matt criminals and Amber shoots a delightful comment back.

“That’s right! I’m a motherf**king felon! But at least I say it to your face!” she yells.

Hey– in the words of the Great Keiffer Delp: “Bein’ a felon ain’t illegal!”

They escort Amber out as Farrah yells for someone to call the police on “the criminals cuz they need to go visit jail!”

Oh, it hurts so good….

The security guard is so over these knuckleheads' shenanigans...
The security guard is so over these knuckleheads’ shenanigans…

Matt is hauled off by two men while Maci leads Amber backstage.

“That’s called a woman, bitch!” Amber screams from backstage. “That’s called a real woman!”

“You’re not!” Farrah yells back.

Well…to be fair…there is very little left on Farrah that is actually “real.” She doesn’t really have room to talk on that subject.

“Shut your crooked lips up!” Amber yells to Farrah.

They go to commercial break, and come back with Farrah and Simon alone on the stage with Dr. Drew. The Doc brings up the fact that Amber used to always stick up for Farrah, but Farrah seems to be oblivious to that.

"Amber, girl...you had one shot and you MISSED!? Weren't you in prison!?"
“Amber, girl…you had one shot and you MISSED!? Weren’t you in prison!?”

“They want to hit people, and behave like criminals,” she says of Amber and Matt.

They wrap up the segment because…how the hell can you even top what we just witnessed?!

It’s time to bring all of the gals back out for the final segment. However, Farrah refuses to come out on stage, leaving Maci, Catelynn and Amber to do the segment without her. Maci ask the Doc why Farrah isn’t doing the segment and the Doc stutters. Maci launches into a tirade and when Dr. Drew tries to interupt she hits him with the “Talk to the Hand!”

"We aren't playing second fiddle to Farrah and her backdoor anymore!"
“We aren’t playing second fiddle to Farrah and her backdoor anymore!”

She says that, basically, she and the others are tired of everyone catering to Farrah, and them having to come in early to film because Farrah has had bitchfits for the past seven years.

“I was on Farrah time,” she says. “Farrah gets to leave whenever she wants to.”

They thank Dr. Drew and the audience, and then say that they’re not going to be on Farrah’s time anymore.

“If she gets to leave, we’re going to leave,” Maci says, as she, Catelynn and Amber stand up and walk off the stage.

"That's it! Next Reunion I'm wearing a cup!"
“That’s it! Next Reunion I’m wearing a cup!”

Drew is sitting there stunned, and you can just tell that he’d rather go back to being elbow deep in blood and guts in the ER than deal with these 20-something drama queens.

“This is reality, this really happened tonight,” he tells us.

He somehow manages to throw a pregnancy prevention pitch in before the show ends. The girls and their guys come out to wave goodbye and the show ends.

And THAT, kids, is how you do a ding-dang ‘Teen Mom’ Reunion show!

To read The Ashley’s other ‘Teen Mom’ recaps, click here!

(Photos: MTV)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

104 Comments

  1. Hahahaha oh The Ashley, I have had to print this off to take home as I am laughing so much at the office I’m making a real show of myself! Your recaps and sense of humour are second to none. Thank you for brightening up my days.


  2. My B.S. meter is pinging, like when you spot fake laughter. Simon’s smiling face is either poor acting or a seriously deranged Patrick Bateman.


  3. All i can say is that MTV has really created some monsters. These former teen moms seem to have no motivation to do anything other than languish around their respective houses (kailyn and Farrah are the exceptions). Their perception of real life is so convoluted-they actually think they know what hard work is, simply because they have to do assorted MTV events. They have too much money and they have done almost nothing to earn it. When i see the trailers with their names on it and watch them throw fits over questions they are asked, stomping offstage like some spoiled diva, i am so disgusted. I guarantee that any one of the people who commented on here work harder and for less money, and understand the reality and difficulty of a life without an MTV paycheck.


    1. Reality is going to hit hard for a majority of them. That’s when the real fun starts. Cate and Ty will be the worse off. If you saw the 100 things special, when they were asked where they’ll be in 10 years, Catelynn said she would still be working for Mtv. That disturbs me. She’s delusional if she thinks she’s gonna be on their radar another 10 years. Out of TM they and Amber will be hit hard. Out of TM2 Chinelle will be hit hard. Leah will just live off both alimony checks and child support for the girlses, Kailyn will be doing…..something lol, and Chelsea has daddy and Cole to keep her in the lifestyle she’s accustomed to.


  4. Not seen it all yet, but regarding Ambers 1 on 1 with Dr Drew….Go Amber!! She was brave, right and calm. She said things that needed to be said.


  5. I am so thankful for these recaps, besides being in the UK so I can’t see them for months, they’re hilarious.

    The wig. The wig. Made even more creepy by the Farrah reference. Did she think she was kidding anyone with that on, literally the worst wig in history. I really hope this whole thing is now scripted and staged because this is a sure sign of actually losing her mind.

    Not one of these girls is perfect. The entire reason that they were reality stars in the first place is because they got knocked up at 16. I agree that lots of their inadequacies have been covered up, and that for some of them (read: all of them) those mistakes continue to be repeated (MTV enabling this is a whole other conversation)

    But.. Farrah is just… Unhinged. If she really thinks that her porn/vagina and butt moulds/ treating her parents and daughter like crazy etc etc are just all steps on her ladder to eternal greatness she is insane. She has no right to call anyone out over their life choices. I think the huge difference with Farrah is she makes herself so very unlikeable, and burns every bridge she comes across.

    Amber could have handled this muuuuuch better and with more dignity but the entertainment value is amazing
    ?


  6. While Amber definitely came off short tempered with everyone and everything, I think it’s also safe to say these reunions take their tool on the cast and they hate doing them. When I watched the backstage thing for TM2 last week, they all said they hate doing these reunions and it makes for a very long day because they also film specials too the same day. I think one more season of both and that should be it. This can’t go on forever and it’s a joke at this point to follow around people 27 years old on something called Teen Mom. Id love to see how the cast deals with the real world as adults and without a 6 figure salary for doing nothing.


    1. Amby oh Amby ! Your old man is a disgusting creatin! We are all laughing at you ! Why did Matt allow u to go on that stage and embarrass yourself ?! U are so most clearly back on pills! Get some help ! And ps, u no longer look like a woman … u look like a Linebacker ! Yuck ! #ByeBitch


  7. Best recap of all time!!! I prayed that this would appear on your site soon and now it’s like Christmas has come early! Perfect!!!


  8. Ashley I always love the captions under the pictures. I almost died laughing at the Drew pic with his eyes bugged out about the borrowed sports coat lol. People are saying they wish Amber would have connected a hit on Ferret but think about it, if she even scratched her Ferret would have got on a neck brace, crutches, and an arm sling and headed to the police station to press charges, then Amber would have had another assault charge. While I do wish someone would phuck Ferret up, Id like for it to be someone with nothing to lose. On another note, I wonder why Larry wasn’t there. Id had loved to be a fly on the wall and find out what that argument was about.


  9. Farrah didn’t give a shit if her dad was laid out with a broken hip or a busted head. She just stood there twisting her weave, while her greasy assed boyfriend grinned like a monkey in the corner.


  10. Say what you want about Farrah, I like the fact that she owns her bad behavior and is herself all the time, good or bad. The other girls are total “sanctimommies”. Catelynn ditches her kid half the time (and wants more), Maci pretends to work while she dumps off her kids and drinks beer, and Amber is so far up Matts Ass that Leah is off the priority list. Also, I was laughing when the girls walked off because although Maci and Amber were genuinely irritated, catelynn was just smiling and looking excited just to be part of something. It was awkward.


    1. Do you know what a sanctimommy even is? Because it’s definitely not maci, cate, or amber.

      Sanctimommy: The word is a colloquialism used to refer to a person, usually a female, who has very opinionated views on child rearing and presents them upfront without any sense of humility.


    2. Farrah has *never* and I do mean NEVER owned up to her bad shit, any of it. She’s a shit mom(no, others being shit moms does not negate her shit mom status). She’s a shit daughter. She’s a shit girlfriend. She’s a shit business owner(owning multiple businesses does not make you successful, lmao, those businesses themselves need to be successful before you can claim that trophy, and hers are not…unless you count prostitution, in which case…she qualifies).
      She leaves Sophia constantly, as in, she has been away from her own child more time than all of the other girls combined-yes, even those that are also shit moms and rarely get off their asses.
      Sticking up for Farrah is a lot like staring at an oozing, fly and maggot infested lump of the stinkiest shit you have ever smelled, and saying “well, it IS a lovely shade of brown”….No, just…no, no matter the shade of brown, that is not lovely shit.


      1. You seem to forget miss piggy ah, Amber* left her kid to go to jail then left her kid to be with Matt getting her occasionally. Farrah has Sophia more than dime store Anna Nicole Smith


      2. Amen to that! Farrah has never admitted to being wrong ever! And as far as “owning sucessful businesses”. The only thing that we have actually witnessed her doing as a business owner is running off an employee for trying to go above and beyond her regular duties. And let’s not forget her infamous inability to form sentences correctly, or to even use words that make sense. I have never in my life seen someone have such a difficult time speaking!

        “You need to be allowing to open yourself up to think how can I do this different”. And my personal fav “I’m severencing relationship bc there’s not an open mind in this”

        Anyone ever get fired for that before?


  11. When farrah did the 1-2-3, lol was she going to send them all to a time out? Like wtf was that?
    Next year on the reunion show I beg to please have crazy Deb get more plastic surgery. Like big boobs, her lips, chin and ass done. Throw on a wig for the color dejour of farrahas hair and wearing Sophia’s clothes…that would be a teen mom finale classic finish!!


  12. Somebody needs to put Farrah in her place. I really don’t think Gary will use this against her. I’m sorry but Gary is like one of the best dad’s on this show and Amber is too much. Gary tries so hard to give time with Leah and she just cries “you’re saying I’m a bad mom!” As she runs off stage to grab her real “baby” matt. Amber has never been anything but abusive in one way or another to Gary and he still tries his best to do the best for Leah and let Amber see her but it’s not good enough for her. Stop moving drug addicts into your house and maybe you’ll see your daughter more.


    1. Also Maci’s full of shit. That 1% is EXTREMELY small and it happened…twice?…K. Wasn’t Bently her miracle baby since she “had” PCOS? She’s just irresponsible and doesn’t want to admit it. Now if she wants to have lots of children and be a good mother to them then fine but don’t lie. And Ryan clocking her for not working LMAO. Absolutely ryan needs to work but does Tyler work?…Does Amber work?…LMAO


      1. They said they weren’t on birth control for Jade, they were just letting whatever happen. And she wasn’t using birth control with Bentley either, so really only Maverick was the “1%”


        1. Wasn’t she getting her birth control refilled when she heard she’s pregnant again? Doesn’t that mean she wasn’t using any protection at that time too?


          1. The story just changes so much. I don’t hear of many women with PCOS having one child, let alone three. And she wasn’t using birth control with Jade but didn’t know she was pregnant and even though she didn’t want to keep having kids out of wedlock. Then Mav just happens to be conceived between when she just started birth control and her cycle was mixed up….look, it’s like I said earlier, just don’t lie about it. What’s gonna happen? Is her family going disown her if she admits it was all on purpose? They haven’t yet and I doubt they will now.


      1. I will admit it is a low bar, but why do people seriously not like gary? Yes I know while amber was in prison he lead her on and that’s super sh*tty but he’s a good father? He makes sure Leah gets to school in time each day? He talked to Leah about her feeling like emilee gets his attention more? He checked matts background to figure out exactly who his daughter is around (something amber apprantly didn’t think to do/want to do)? None of these dad’s are perfect but honestly.


        1. I agree that Gary does love Leah and seems protective of her. But let’s not pretend the man crawls out of bed at the crack of dawn and helps Leah pick out clothes and pack her lunch for school. Everyone, including Amber, is well aware that Kristina is the one who is making sure Leah gets to school on time. Kristina is the one who is raising that kid while Gary sleeps (per what Leah has said on-air). I give props to Amber for very maturely handling the fact Kristina is raising her child when it’s Gary’s time with Leah. That has to be painful to her, particularly because Leah doesn’t hide the fact she does love Kristina. Seriously, props, Amber! And moreover, big props for Kristina so selflessly raising her step-daughter.


        2. Gary is an instigator. He plants evil little seeds to stir up drama. He might have misguided good intentions sometimes, but he is extremely lazy.

          I felt bad that Amber bought Leah new clothes for school and Gary wouldn’t let her wear them the first day. Yes, it was crazy to spend that kind of money on kids clothes, but was Amber making an effort and Amber was crestfallen when she went to see Lead off on the first day of school and Leah wasn’t wearing the special outfit.


    2. I know! It’s like talking to a freaking wall! Gary was having a calm mature productive conversation with her and the second he said something she didn’t like about her not utilizing the time she already gets with Leah (a perfectly valid point/question) she threw a tantrum like a 2 year old! I like amber but I think she pretends to care about spending time with Leah more than she actually does.


  13. Oh and I forgot to mention…I hate Deb. Her new man has pedophile creep stalker written all over him and Farrah better keep Sophia away from him. Clearly he’s a fan of her porno….Farrah had the redish brown hair during that time period….SICK.


    1. Totally agree! Imagine the type of person who would date Deb. No one mentally sound. I get terrible vibes from him. Can you picture the conversations that must take place between them? What type of respectable physician would participate in a show like this, or become engaged to a person like this?! Doesn’t he worry about how it will effect his practice?! If I was a patient, I’d be out of there so fast….


  14. Good review but that was totally staged. It’s so obvious Amber is so mad but she has time to put her mike back on and turn it on? Simon is laughing as if he knew it was coming. Realistically wouldn’t he have more of an “WTF” look on his face? Amber and Farrah have always gotten along and were friends and now all of a sudden she wants to slap her daffy duck beak off. These girls have slipped up and stated that they had lines to memorize. Also, too Michael’s fall looks more on purpose than accidental. Normal Farrah would of done her I am the victim cry face and not the look she had.
    On another note Maci needs to get her stories straight about how she had “oopsie” baby number three. They said that they were using BC but when she officially announced it didn’t she say she found out when she went to the Doc to get BC? MTV you guys are slipping up.


    1. Being someone who regularly does theatre, you always keep your mike on and it is always turned on as long as the show is going on. The sound tech can turn your sound up and down. Since they still had the final all-cast wrap up to go, Amber obviously had her mike still on. The tech just turned up the sound when the “fun” started.

      Sad to say because I like her, but I think Amber is “on” something now – even if it is diet pills (speed/caffeine). She has become very combative on social media, and seems to have had a personality change for the worse. This could explain her reaction. I am certain being stuck in a relationship with Matt doesn’t help – lol!

      I am certain Michael fell on purpose. He states he is STILL “injured” and is on workman’s comp – meaning MTV is paying his “disability.” That is nothing about a family of grifters.


        1. Aux contraire, mon Frere. MICHAEL has stated he is on workman’s comp because of this. I am sure The Ashley can confirm. You only get WC when hurt ON THE JOB, ergo, this IS his job – just like it is Rhine’s and everyone else’s. I will give you a gallon of Amber’s lipo-ed arm fat if I am wrong. The Ashley????


          1. This type of “job” does not qualify for workers comp. This is Farrah’s “job” not Michaels. I don’t think the bit part players get paid for this so called job. The show isn’t about them. It’s about the moms and dads (and I use those terms loosely!!) and the children. I’m sure Michael has to sign a waiver to be filmed but he doesn’t have a contract like the “teens.” However MTV is probably paying for his imagined injuries to keep their asses from getting sued. Michael is Farrahs bitch.


        2. The additional players do get paid – only the occasional friend, outsider, etc. have ‘free guest appearances’ – even Deb has on her resume that she is a paid employee/regular on MTV…


    2. I don’t think the girls are intelligent enough or have any type of acting skills to go along with staging something of this caliber. I mean, it’s painfully obvious during the season when they are prompted by producers to discuss things…they speak very unnaturally.

      As someone else said, they would still have their mic packs on. It can take a bit of time to get them on and weave them through clothing, so they would just keep them on the whole time since they all generally reappear at the end to do the goodbye segment. The audio engineer would remotely turn on the sound.


  15. First of all this recap was EPIC….I’m laughing so hard I’m couging and crying….the Jesse Spano reference was HILARIOUS!! and the “Teen Mom Tornado herself”…oh man I could go on and on LMAO!!

    Secondly, Maci is taking that lie to the grave. She does not care how ridiculous or dumb she sounds, nobody is every going to make her to admit that she was not on BC or that she was drinking while preggo….I did feel bad for Ryan when he started crying about his dad. He knows Jen and Larry are the best. I hope Larry comes back next season.

    Third, I dunno what Michael thought he was going to do when he decided to jump on that stage like that. What did he think he was going to save the day? He knows good and well he is too old to be charging at anybody. Farrah gets herself into those situations, so she needs fend for herself. Maybe is somebody finally whapped her in the head she would stop being such a bitch.

    That was definitely the most entertaining episode of the show….it’s gonna be interesting to see how they all interact next season


  16. First of all BRAVO @theAshley you knocked this one out of the ball bark!! God Bless America and us all after the cluster fuc*!
    Debs new man the creep factor is 100 out of 1 thru 100! That wig eww that wig nothing more to say other than I think there is another #teenmommanfan creepy old boy, isn’t he?
    I only wish Amber made contact with farrah, I would have bought a house off her and Matt to see that one!!
    Furthermore isn’t it something that dr drew never brought up the fact that Rhine has been higher than a kite all season..but I guess he had bigger fish to fry with the battle Royale!! Ty @theAshley for the best of the best recaps ever!! And merry Christmas to you and yours…happy new year!! But most of all God Bless America!!


  17. I conquered it.
    I caused this then I sat back and laughed, no one messes with my squeaky back door and gets away with it.

    My squeaky back door is already unhinged.

    PS, dreaming of my future momInlaws raven locks, ? I won’t be paying


  18. I know it is kosher to be hattin’ on Farrah but what about the bunch of liars the other 3 are ?? I mean does Maci think the viewers are so dumb to believe her w her “successful business ” and her 1% bull cap or that she wasn’t drinking during this last pregnancy. Or Amber being back on pills, not seeing Leah or being depressed every since dating her liar fb came to light? Or the fact that Cate didn’t really raise her 2nd baby during the first year of life , pawned her off on the one person who screwed her up so much that she eats her own scabs and can’t get out of bed? These self righteous twats need to take a hard look in the mirror before they walk off stage


    1. Thank god someone else pointed this out !!!! I am by no means a Farrah fan … but at this stage , she doesn’t really need teen mom … the other girls would be broker than a joke without MTV…. couch sitting, fingernail chompin’, and beer drinkin’ don’t pay that well in the real world ….


      1. Farrah absolutely needs MTV. How do you think she pays for those businesses she has that are *all failing?
        Her backdoor can only pay for so much. She has more loans than she knows what to do with, lol.
        The other cast members also being douchcanoes in their own right, doesn’t negate Farrah’s over the top douchecanoe gold trophy.
        Admittedly, I’m no fan of really any one on this particular cast, they all have some major flaws. But all of this “I know Farrah’s bad, but what about the OTHERS” crap, is just that, crap, lol.
        Of course they’re shitty people too, and liars, and they all have issues….no, wait..make that subscriptions.
        Farrah’s still the most fucked up of all of them, in so many more ways, it’s unreal.


  19. Since when is being defensive being abusive? Maybe Amber needs to get ahold of herself and that man of hers that she chooses over her daughter before ppl start calling others abusive. The only abusive person here is Amber. She went out yelling , screaming and punching. Anyone no matter how deserving has a right to defend themselves against that


  20. Go Larry! Taking Michael on that stage and hope for a 2 for 1 while fists were flying around. Farrah pushed him, Michael raised her that way, great come back Larry.

    Nooo, violence is never the answer, I know. Not for the Abrahams, they are beyond “a good slap in the face would cure this.”
    But look what a good kick in the butt did for Ryan.


  21. Did anyone else get a little teary when Ryan got emotional? It was nice to finally see his vulnerable side. I think that fight with his dad really affected him. It probably made him grow up a little bit.


    1. Yeah cause violence is always the answer… Considering Amber went to prison for hitting Gary, I’d say it was a pretty stupid thing to do. She cries poor me about not having Leah, then goes and pulls this shit. Maybe she should start acting like she wants to be a mother, rather then trying to fight someone on a reunion show.


      1. Nobody should be send to jail for slapping Farrah, I’m serious. She is provoking people, she is a bully, she is asking for it, she is looking for a punch so she can take someone’s money in a lawsuit. Lord knows she needs it as her busynesses are all failing.


      2. Even I, a peace-loving hippie chick, KNOW to wait until Farrah and I are in a closed room with no cameras and my husband as my ‘witness’ to slap the crap out of her into next week! lol DON’T do it on a currently-being-filmed reunion show when you already HAVE HAD an assault charge against you, it doesn’t bode well for what you’ll be sentenced, and you KNOW Farrah would have brought charges….


  22. hands down the funniest reunion ever. Just some of my favorite moments

    Deb and that cheap a$$ shake and go wig

    Deb getting dead silence when she asked the audience how her hair looked.

    Dr Drew telling Farrah he isn’t her doctor so don’t get it twisted, b1tch.

    Ryan being asked why he doesn’t work.

    Ryan clowning the $hit out of Maci and asking her where she works lol.

    Catelynn and her JC Penny 45 year old Misses department outfit.

    The cast walking out on Dr Drew at the end.

    Amber calling saying to Farrah to shut her crooked lips up lol. This was probably the most real reunion that’s ever been filmed for them.

    On another note, I wish Amber didn’t do that. She really shot herself in the foot. Gary can use this against her and say this proves she’s still combustible. Let’s face it, Matt, Farrah, amd Simon have nothing to lose in that fight. You did all of that embarrassing yourself over Matt? By the same token calling someone a pedo is serious and Id be pissed too but Id have tried to handle it differently. It’s amazing how all 4 of them essentially bite the hand the feeds them. How do you decide when you’ll film, when you won’t, and get to walk off stage. They only would have needed to be there another minute or two tops but I guess it’s the principle. Although I Hate Watch this show, it’s time to end it and have them get back to real life.


    1. She looks like some goth queen in her 40’s. That hair, makeup, and clothing ages her by 15 years or more. She looks younger with straight hair and less makeup. Maci is an example of a woman in her mid-late 20’s who dresses youthful yet age appropriate. Deb dresses like she’s 16 and it’s so embarrassing to see lol. Cate is in serious need of a stylist because these Walmart, Anne Klein outfits are a hot ass mess.


      1. Hey, don’t offend Goth queens, they dress better, wear their hair a lot nicer and use better make-up techniques. Amber looked like she fell asleep in a big powder box face down and forgot to dust herself off. 6 inch thick layer Amber.
        I can go with Anna Nicole Smith when she wasn’t doing so well though.


    1. Yeah, she was really low key and weird in her talking and answers. I wondered if something was weird because of her surgeries.


    2. Yeah, she was speaking very slowly and deliberately, not her normal self. She was on something for sure.


    3. No you are not. Being a former addict the ones that bring it up all the time about how they are “sober” are usually the ones still doing drugs. Actual recovered addicts don’t like to talk about it or use the term clean not sober. She mentioned early in the season that she was on some anti-anxiety meds which no honest doc would ever prescribe a “recovered” addict those. So she must have a rouge doc or she is getting them illegally.


      1. this absolutely is not true. clean or sober depends on what fellowship you go to, and lots of addicts are in AA and call themselves sober. and lots of us love to talk about it, because it’s a big deal.

        amber was high, but those reason you listed are BS


  23. The *only* thing that could’ve possibly made this better is if ol Deb got in the mix and her party city wig went flying into the crowd.

    But the real MVP was Simon. He started all of this, instigated like Farrah dreams she could, and literally got to stand back and laugh the WHOLE TIME. He never stopped smiling. It was fantastic.


    1. Simon literally put a hand up to “save” Farrah from Amber and when it got swatted he became a spectator. You are absolutely right, he instigated the whole thing. He didn’t even try to save Michael from Matt. It would have been interesting if Matt came out and confronted Simon. I wonder if Simon would have defended himself?


      1. Simon is as big a sociopath as Farrah. He knew exactly what he was doing and Farrah is either to dumb to get it or she’s too in awe of his ways to care. They’re both horrible, bullying jack arses.


  24. It was quite entertaining to see someone (Amber) stand up for themselves to pathetic Farrah. Deb, Michael, Froco employees, and others hopefully will learn a lesson. She had no comebacks other than her stupid counting thing. Haha, go Amber!


  25. Sorry farrah and Simon (says) …but Amber won that one! Even tho she’s a nutball…she won! ???? and the two old dudes fighting… #Priceless and Ryan..oh poor lil ryan..GROW UP Dude!!!but I have to say..love his new girl..her panties showin while catching the bouquet ??? love it!


  26. I’m more excited than Jesse Spano on caffeine pills! FTW!
    Great reunion, great recap. It’s nice to see the girls defend themselves against the evil that is Farrah. I couldn’t be as civil as them, for sure.


  27. Gary was must have been going cartwheels watching the Amber s**tshow. How stupid and immature can you be–Farrah and Simon left the pile of crap right there and she and Matt stepped right in it–they belong together–self-righteous delusional clowns. Gary must have been on the phone with his lawyer as soon as the segment was over.


  28. I firmly believe Colonel Sanders MD gets Debra to wear the Farrah wig so he can fantasize that he is really with Farrah. He is using Debra to get to Farrahs Backdoor.


    1. Uck – eew – barf.
      Cln Sanders MD 🙂 So he is a MD but tries to shove fat fried chicken in people’s faces? Right. As you do.


  29. Does anyone know why Farrah was bellowing 1-2-3? It almost sounded like a demon was coming out of her? I was trying to figure out if this was a less tricky version of “monkey”.


    1. Maybe she was expecting Simon or security to step in at three. She’ll need lots of therapy getting over that disappointment.
      She has some nerve talking about criminals, is being a prostitute not illegal in most states? Throwing things at people, emotionally and physically abusing adults and a child (plucking etc.), not following laws as an employer, sexy your minor up to make her a target for creeps and pervs, sleeping with married men for money….


    2. Apparently it is a coping technique Farrah was taught to calm herself down. Knowing that I’m a smidgen bit proud that Farrah tried to use something she’s learned to calm herself down.


      1. Yeah, a lot of therapist say you should count to 3 before saying something, so she was probably doing that. It was random af though bc right after she shouted at Amber but okay


  30. My husband tries to fall asleep while I watch this show (but it usually makes his blood pressure rise too much to actually go to sleep.) He noticed the radio silence after Deb asking about her hair. It was too funny!


  31. Bravo, Bravo Ashley for the awesome review. Yours is funnier than the actual show was. I should’ve just read yours. P.S. Farrah is the most unappreciative bitch I have ever seen. Her mom is a nut but you have to show respect towards her, she brought you into this world. She will get it all back from her daughter who already talks horrible to her. Karma is a bitch.


  32. This was a truly epic reunion! Oh how I wish someone would have made contact with Farrah’s face. Even more so, I would have liked to see smug Simon knocked on his ass too. Michael is a ridiculous old man. Who gets in a woman’s face like that. His violent, abusive side really came out that night. I’m glad Matt knocked him on his bum bum.

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