‘Teen Mom 2’ Season 8 Episode 4 Recap: Baby Daddy Hell & Another Baby and Proposal for Jenelle

When you see your parents and realize you got the short end of the parental stick…

This week, MTV tried to kill The Ashley by airing TWO episodes of Teen Mom 2 for her to recap. While The Ashley loves her readers, she can’t subject herself to recapping two hours of this crap, so she’s just going to recap one episode. (Safety first!)

Since The Ashley’s readers know she loves a good reality TV birth episode (and, really, who doesn’t?) she has chosen to recap the second episode of the evening, which features Baby Ensley slip-slidin’ down the overworked waterslide that is Jenelle‘s reproductive parts.

We kick things off with a mini-recap of what happened in the previous episode.

Briana is still concerned about “getting stuck with two kids” so she’s badgering her cheating, straight-from-da-club baby daddy Luis to consider letting her place their kid for adoption. Jenelle scooped up some free gifts at her third baby shower. (She had to get new stuff and a new crib, obviously. She can’t use Kaiser’s crib for the new baby because then where would he eat/sleep/live/spend 17 hours a day?)

Leah learned that her former bacon-slapping boo, Jeremy was engaged to Brooke, while Chelsea dealt with Aubree’s bad attitude. Kail revealed that she was knocked up, but didn’t want to tell Javi about the baby yet.

“Maybe some of the mold spores got into my stomach?”

That brings us to the start of this episode. First, we check in with Jenelle who is just days away from adding another illegitimate offspring to her brood.

Jenelle and Lurch are still living in the rental house that they fled to when their other house was overtaken by mold, and they are bummed out that they won’t be able to bring their new baby home to their recently purchased swampland. (How will the baby sleep without the mosquitoes buzzing above her head like a crib mobile?)

Jenelle tells Lurch that she “has a little bit of stomach issues.”

Um…yeah. Your issue is that you have a stomach full of soulmate spawn!

Pregnancy is old-hat for Jenelle. She knows that the baby could come at any time now, and that she could be just hours away from being strapped to an oxygen machine and howling.

The next day, Jenelle’s doctor confirms that the baby could be expelled from Jenelle’s crotchateria at any time.

“The molecules! The molecules!”

She’s feeling quite under the weather (but, thankfully, she’s not seeing those pesky ‘molecules’ again!) Lurch suggests that Jenelle eat, surely because he knows that he has to get her to gnaw on something too if he wants to score a free meal from MTV.

Jenelle’s doctor was asking about her birth control plan for after the baby is born and, naturally, that conversation gives Jenelle anxiety. (Just the thought of having to ask Lurch to wear a condom is enough to make Jenelle need a therapy horse!)

Jenelle says she doesn’t want to take birth control, but she also doesn’t want to get pregnant again. Not fornicating with Lurch is clearly not an option, either. Lurch has a better solution.

“David want more babies. David impregnate Jenelle. Grunt.”

“I thought you said we was havin’ another baby after this?” he says. “I can’t get married unless we have two babies together.”

JESUS GOD LEAH! At least let Jenelle shoot this spawn out before you go implanting another one of your swampy sperms into her, Lurch!

It would be different if they already had a baby in the house to take care of. You know, like a toddler who needs care. Too bad they only have Kaiser…

Lurch says he’ll propose to Jenelle once she “has me another baby.”

For the love of God, keep it in your pants, Lurch!

After we get the terrifying picture of Lurch impregnating Jenelle again out of our heads, we go over to South Dakota to see what Chelsea’s up to. Cole is preparing to take Aubree to her father/daughter dance for the second year in a row. Her biological father, Adam, is unable to attend, of course, because he’s busy trying on white tank tops to see which one will look best should he end up on an episode of Cops. (I mean, it’s just a matter of time now, isn’t it?)

“Your dad? Well he…um, took all these vitamins and that’s why he can’t dance tonight…”

Aubree and her cousin get ready to go to the dance, and soon Cole arrives with a bouquet of flowers for his date. Papa Randy is taking Aubree’s cousin to the dance, so the guys take the girls off to dance the night away.

Speaking of dancing the night away, you know who did that? Briana. And you know what happened to her? She got knocked up. Twice. Today, she’s dealing with her first “horizontal mambo” partner, Devoin.

Yes, kids, that’s right– ol’ PapiChulo himself is about to grace us with his presence! I’m feeling excited…and also like I kinda need to hold tight to my wallet…

“Baby daddy drama got me like…”

Briana tells Brittany that she needs Devoin to watch Nova while she goes to see Baby Daddy #2 Luis. She’s going to lunch with him to see what’s going on “wif” them and their future as potential co-parents. Brittany is just sitting there, trying to figure out which one of Briana’s loser baby daddies she hates more.

It’s no surprise that Devoin is late. (After all…Briana’s usual the one who is late…)

Devoin hasn’t seen Nova in a few months, but he can’t be bothered to show up on time to fetch her. He’s got things to do… and some of them aren’t even court-ordered!

Devoin is mad that he has to come to the DeJesus home to see Nova. Unfortunately for Devoin, though, he has no other choice. That’s because he has no license…and no car…and no home of his own.

Um…did Devoin literally get caught in some sort of time warp during Briana’s 16 and Pregnant episode all those years ago or something? He’s the exact same person he was back then, except now he’s in his twenties! #PapiBusPass

“I mean, I know not everyone can be as ‘together’ as I am, but come on, Devoin!”

“It’s been almost six years…how do you not have your s**t together already?” Briana, who still lives with her mom and is now pregnant unexpectedly for the second time by a local hoodlum, asks.  (Maybe she was speaking into a mirror off-camera?)

“OK Aunt Brittany I ordered the hatchet and nunchucks you wanted! They’ll be here Thursday!”

Nova calls up Papi BusPass to see where the hell he is but he refuses to answer. Nova is starting to get upset that her father has ditched out on seeing her for the first time in months.

Meanwhile in Delaware, Kail is getting along better with Baby Daddy #3 Chris, even though he’s still not allowing MTV to put his mug on camera. In fact, he recently texted Kail to let her know he wants to “work it out.”

Kail’s totally down for that, but she’s trying not to get her hopes up that Chris will act like a decent human being once their baby comes.

At long last, we make it down to West Virginia! Leah is stressing because she has to get her herd to bed so she can finish up all her homework. (Those ‘rithmatics ain’t gonna solve themselves, y’all!)

“I done told you youngins to wersh your teeth! Now git!”

There are dogs, kids, cats and possibly sugar packets flying everywhere and, once again, the girls don’t want to brush their chompers. Leah finally gets them to brush their teeth, and we’re relieved to see that Addie’s long-lost toothbrush has been recovered.

Afterward, she shows off them readin’ skills she’s been learning down at the college when she reads the girls a bedtime story.

“I can’t wait to see if he eats the green eggs and ham!”

Finally it’s time for Leah to get down to bookin’. She’s trying to let all that sweet knowledge sink into her brain (much like the dye in the baby’s head), but unfortunately the kids won’t stop bothering her.

Dern those youngins!

Next, we head back to North Carolina and we know something big is happening because the dramatic music starts to play. We find out that Jenelle is in the hospital after going into labor. Lurch strapped her to the back of his tractor and got her to the hospital just in time for Baby Ensley to plop out of Jenelle’s nether regions.

We then see some home video of Jenelle holding the screaming baby.

Wait…what? WHAT?! No footage of Jenelle in labor? Jenelle’s births are must-see TV! We’ve been ripped off BIG TIME, guys!

“This kid has no idea what she’s in for!”

We see a few still photos of the baby, and of Lurch cradling Ensley in his big oafy paws. Even Kaiser was allowed to escape the Crib of Doom for a few hours to meet his new half-sister.

In the next scene, Lurch and Jenelle are driving home with the new baby. Their entire brood (except for Jace, of course) is present to welcome Ensley to the madness.

“HELP! Hey, Watson, ask your mom if I can come live with you guys?”

There’s much to celebrate in the Evans/Eason home right now. In addition to the new baby, the gang is also about to check out their new home, Swamp Manor. Kaiser is excited to go to “The Land” because, well, let’s face it: anything beats the crib.

Welcome to the world, Ensley! Good luck…you’re gonna need it!

In South Dakota, Chelsea is looking at photos of Aubree and Cole at the dance. She tells her pal Laura (who never met a piece of makeup she didn’t like) that she’s so grateful that she and Aubree have Cole in their lives.

When you don’t need a court-ordered drug test done before your husband can take your daughter to a dance…

She says that she texted Adam to let him know about Aubree’s dance weeks ago but he never replied to her.

At this point, though, Aubree doesn’t seem to care if Adam shows upor not. In fact, Chelsea feels like Aubree is more comfortable being around Cole than Daddy Deadlift, who only wants to act like a father when he needs to take a photo with Aubree to post on Instagram…or Tinder.

Chicks dig dudes who have daughters!

Just then, Cole comes in, carrying a sleeping Aubree. Randy comes in too, looking flushed after a night of kicking up his heels, and Chelsea asks him if “anyone else” (aka Adam) managed to make it there.

“Aubree only had one father there,” Randy replies.

Aubree’s lucky that she had one father around, because that’s more than poor Nova has right now. Devoin had not appeared by the time Briana was due to meet Luis at the ol’ Chinese buffet to discuss what the hell they should do with their kid, so she had to leave Nova with Brittany.

“Hold up. You brought your debit card to cover this meal, right?”

Briana sits down with Luis and once again poses the topic of adoption. He says that he really did consider it, but has decided that he’d rather Briana just have the kid, and then he can bail out while she’s getting stitched up. (Hell, they may even call Dr. Miami down there to do yet another hoo-ha makeover on Briana right then and there!)

Briana is still fighting hard not to be “stuck” with her two kids, so she convinces Luis to go to an adoption agency with her.

“I’ll go wit chu where you want,” he tells Briana.

Well, I mean except the employment agency…or the birth control aisle at Walmart…or a dark alley with Brittany…of course.

Briana says it’s a mistake to co-parent together because she doesn’t want to be in a “toxic relationship.” Luis can barely keep himself from laughing when he realizes that Briana thinks what they had was a relationship.

Just then, Brittany calls Briana, angry that Papi BusPass still hasn’t arrived to fetch Nova. Briana gives him a call but once again Devoin doesn’t answer.

“I’ve gotta go. Brittany’s ’bout to kill my other baby-daddy.”

In The WV, Leah gets a text from Jeremy. He says that he “needs to talk” and Leah can’t help but be a little excited. She calls him up and lets Addie talk to her dad first. As the phone is ringing, Leah is fixing her hair to make sure she looks ding-dang fetchin’ while conversatin’ with her ex.

“I didn’t have time to get gussied up or put my lip pretties on!”

Jeremy starts talking to Addie, and then she gives the phone to Leah.

It turns out that Jeremy has some bad news. He and Brooke have broken up! Leah, who can’t stop stuffing cheese puffs into her piehole long enough to talk to Jeremy, is shocked by the news.

Jeremy claims that Brooke threw all his clothes and bacon and stuff out on the lawn after she found a record of Jeremy having talked to Leah for 35 minutes on the phone. (None of this is true, by the way. Click here for the real story!)

This picture will never not be funny…

Leah is just gnawing at her gas station sandwich as Jeremy tells her all about how Brooke freaked out over the phone call, which was actually about Addie’s school. Naturally, Brooke is assuming that Jeremy is laying pipe in anyone he can find. (Which, is, of course, true, but…)

Leah scolds Jeremy for staying in this drama-filled relationship, and tells him to stay single for a while.

“Yeah…well…” Jeremy replies.

“Wait…does that mean Jeremy’s single?!”

Later, Leah’s lunching with her sister Victoria, and she can’t wait to tell her all about Jeremy’s trainwreck engagement.

“He just found someone who acts just like he does and he don’t know what to do!” Victoria says.

Leah’s worried about how Addie is going to react to Brooke being gone. Leah doesn’t want her daughter to have a giant pile of Daddy Issues like she did, and she’s worried that Jeremy acting reckless with his lady friends will cause that.

Next we check in with Javi, who is sitting talking to a group of his friends. He’s all excited because he’s got some gooooood gossip, and is practically bursting at the seams to tell someone.

“Oh, have I got a story for you…”

“A little birdie” informed Javi of all the shenanigans going on at his house while he was deployed. That “birdie” also dropped a bomb on Javi, telling him that Kail is currently three months pregnant…by the guy Javi caught her with last season.

“They were just ‘friends’ according to her then,” Javi says.

Well, yeah, but friends that bone.

“Kail? Pregnant? That is…um, totally new information…”

Javi’s pals aren’t even acting surprised. If someone tells me their ex-wife got knocked up less than a month after the ink dried on the divorce papers, my mouth is gonna be on the floor and my eyes would be bigger than Ryan Edwards‘! Come on, girls, at least act like this is a surprise!

Javi suspects that Kail’s baby daddy may be living at his house. (Highly unlikely, Jav. This guy seems like an anti-social dog– he only appears when he needs a bone.)

“I’m sorry but if this guy wants into the club he has to learn the secret handshake AND help me scale Kail’s backyard fence!”

Javi is not thrilled that there will be yet another addition to the Disgruntled Baby Daddy Club he and Jo have built.

“She doesn’t know that I know that she’s pregnant!” Javi says gleefully. (Anyone else having flashbacks of this scene from Friends while watching this?)

Javi declares that he’s tired of holding his tongue and now he’s ready to get crazy!

Speaking of crazy, it’s time to see what Jenelle’s doing. She’s surrounded by her offspring and future step-offspring. Kaiser is there, and he’s clinging to a giant Ziploc bag full of Chex Mix like it’s the apocalypse outside and the only thing that can save him from certain death is that crunchy mix of pretzels, cereal and those weird brown toast things that no one likes.

Anyway, Producer Kristen corners Lurch while he’s taking out the trash and tries to get him to tell her his latest plan.

“Hey Kristen, how many bodies you think you could fit into this trashcan? You know, just for fun?”

“I’m going to do something special for Jenelle,” Lurch tells her. “I’m going to need you to meet me up in the mountains.”

Kristen looks both scared and intrigued. This could either end in a proposal, or her tied up with “jumpa cables” in the trunk of Lurch’s car.

He tells Kristen that he has “a special place picked out.”

Um…for the body?

Fortunately, Lurch is just planning to propose. (He doesn’t actually tell Producer Kristen that, though, so she’s still thinking he may be planning to murder her and Jenelle.)

The face you make when Lurch tells you to follow him up to the mountains for a big surprise…

Ho-hum. Yet another Jenelle proposal to throw on the heap. Honestly, at this point, they should skip the speeches and ring-giving and just go straight to the inevitable double mugshot and social media meltdowns. #ItsGonnaHappen

Lurch is proud of himself for cooking up such a great, albeit semi-creepy, plan. It’s been a couple weeks since Ensley’s birth and Jenelle is ready for a vacation. I mean, they could probably just leave the baby with Kaiser. Chances are he’ll eventually share his Chex Mix with her, right?

“It’s a surprise,” Lurch grunts. “A surprise….huhuhuh, a surprise for everybody!”

In Florida, Devoin is still M.I.A. Nova is confused as to where he is, and is probably wondering which city jail she and Briana are going to have to go bail Daddy Dearest out of this time. Brittany is not a happy camper. It’s been six hours and Devoin is still not there.

All hail Papi BusPass!

Suddenly, there’s a knock at the door. It is Devoin! Papi BusPass has arrived in all his hoodlum glory!

Devoin is quite the sight. He looks like what would result if Snoop Dog and a Ninja Turtle had a love child. He’s wearing his hoodie (making him look turtle-like) and looks like he’s been hanging out with Kieffer in the park getting HIGH! HIGH! for the last six hours.

“I will not throw Devoin off the balcony…I will NOT throw Devoin off the balcony…”

Brittany lets him in and refrains from smashing a vase over his head right then and there. She’s really showing restraint this season, and I’m proud of her. She does give the cameraman a look to let us know that it’s taking all the strength she has right now not to light Devoin on fire.

Devoin hasn’t seen his daughter for months, but he barely grunts in her direction when he sees her. Nova doesn’t even seem bothered by this. She doesn’t attempt to hug him or anything, which is really sad for a girl who has been waiting for six hours to see her dad.

“I had to do some things,” he tells Nova when she asks where the hell his deadbeat ass was all day.

“Brittany, I’m serious. You can’t stab Devoin! Don’t make me frisk you, girl!”

Briana arrives home to find her ex in the room with her angry sister. Roxanne walks in then, and is cordial to Devoin. He realizes that he can make an escape now, so he darts out of the house as fast as possible. He was there for about an hour.

In Delaware, Kail and Javi are, again, not getting along. Apparently Javi has been blowing up Kail’s phone to accuse her of things, including being pregnant. Kail was feeling harassed so she filed a protective order against Javi. (The Ashley was the first to tell you this when it happened!)

Javi is no longer allowed within 100 yards of Kail unless he’s got Lincoln in tow. He’s no longer allowed to scale the walls of Kail’s house, or prowl outside for any reason.

“Every time I go to the bathroom, I’m scared that Javi will start crawling over my fence!”

“I’m afraid!” Kail says. “I’ve had enough! People have no idea who Javi is and I just keep my mouth shut.”

Just then, Javi arrives to drop off Lincoln. He doesn’t go into the house and quickly scurries away before Kail drops any more legal restrictions on him.

We’ve got a few minutes left in the episode, so why not throw in yet another proposal for Jenelle? This will be at least the third proposal we’ve seen just on the show for Jenelle. (We got to watch her say yes to her exes Gary and Nathan, if you’ll remember. There were other engagements, of course, but these were the only on-camera ones.)

It’s a beautiful day in the North Carolina mountains, and Lurch is being very creepy.

Jenelle says she feels bad leaving Ensley, who is still a newborn at this point.

“It sucks we had to leave Emma at home so we could go on vacation! Oh, I mean Ensley…”

I mean, yeah, but…you have to go on vacation, Jenelle. What can you do?

They make it up to the creepy trail Lurch keeps mentioning, and soon the camera crew is getting all covert, filming through the trees. Jenelle looks right at the camera, but pretends to be surprised when Lurch drops to one knee and starts motorboating her hand. He pulls out a ring.

“Thank you babe!” she says. “And it fits!”

“David! Quit gnawing on my hand and propose already!”

Well…he had like four other engagement rings of yours lying around, I’m sure he could use them to figure out your ring size, Jenelle.

Finally, Lurch remembers he has to ask Jenelle to be his forever love. He proposes and she accepts because, well, it’s Jenelle.

The moment Watson realized (after watching this episode) that he won the Daddy Lottery.

They seal the proposal with a kiss and we’re all praying they don’t make their next lovechild right there on the edge of the cliff.

That’s all for this episode!

Next week, we finally get our first real glimpse of Babs (and Swamp Manor!), Briana gets a chance to confront Devoin, and Chelsea gets word that Adam is using drugs.

To read The Ashley’s recap of the previous episodes of ‘Teen Mom 2,’ click here!

(Photos: MTV)

44 Responses

  1. Did you all know that Kaiser’s middle name is Orion? And that name is fairly common in white supremacist circles? It means “Our race is our nation,” and its usually combined with Kaiser, cuz hey! You can’t name your kid Adolf. Nathan has tweeted that Kaiser is a member of the “Master Race.” What a piece of crap…

  2. I can’t believe Jenelle does not want to be on birth control. She can’t even take care of the children she has. It breaks my heart to see how sweet Kaiser is and watch him be abused! She needs to be sterilized she is a horrible mother and will never change. Leah I doubt she’ll be in school long she’ll drop out to sell makeup. I honestly think Briana is mentally younger than her age . Her scenes annoy me and can they go anywhere but their apartment? Kailyn is a miserable, horrible human being, but she keeps her house clean, her children are clean and well behaved, she’s not in trouble with the IRS, hasn’t gone to rehab or jail, other then being a horrible person and dick hopping, sadly she has her shit together more then most of the other girls on the show. Then theres Chelsea who finally got rid of Meth head Adam and her life is boring.

  3. It doesn’t make sense that he would want another child. He’s the one who takes care of all of them. And sooner or later the mtv checks will dry up. They’ll be broke and unable to take care of the kids that they already have.

    1. I’d add he likely also wants a son since he doesn’t have access, or the surname of, the only boy to sprout from his lurch loins.

  4. Just out of curiosity, does anyone know if Leah is still in school? She has a history of leaving so I’m curious!

  5. I very much enjoy the recaps but is it really necessary to refer to the kids as illigitimate? It almost feels like a dig at them too.

  6. So when Javi is talking to his group of friends about Kailyn, I see that one of them is the stupidly-named Peach. Wasn’t she originally Kailyn’s friend?

    1. Peach (and her sister I believe?) were originally friends with Javi since high school, and only became friends with Kailyn because of Javi’s relationship with her.

  7. I felt so bad for Nova. She was so confused/upset when Devoin didn’t answer her calls, and she’s just been passed from pillar to post from “mom” to aunt to grandma. To an extent I feel sorry for Brianna, because she’s quite a lot younger than the other girls, but god is she stupid/selfish for getting herself knocked up again when she can’t even handle Nova. Her wanting to choose adoption would have been the best thing for all involved (Stella, Nova and Brianna’s mom) and it’s a shame she never goes through with it.

    I hate Jenelle, but I am growing increasingly concerned for her safety. Lurch is frightening and growing increasingly more controlling and the holes in the walls/doors at their old place suggest he might be aggressive. their kids definitely aren’t safe out in the swampland with The Thing, but I have a feeling Jenelle isn’t all that safe either. I can’t stand her, think she’s an awful human being, but she doesn’t deserve to be physically hurt if the worst happens.

  8. And THAT is why you don’t have a child with someone you barely know, kids!

    Briana really hit the lottery with two deadbeats (one is a deadbeat, the other I assume will be), I feel sorry for her girls, stop procreating with every douche who crosses your path!

    David is creepy. WHY would you mention a second child if she didn’t even pop out your first?! Like I know you want to tie her further to you but seriously, calm down! (Oh yeah, and her saying this is her last one cuz she had a girl now, well, we all know she lies constantly) What’s sad is she could RIGHT AT THIS MOMENT be carrying their second child or they are planning to have one right after the marriage. (She is saying she doesn’t want to be pregnant on her wedding day but again, I don’t believe a word she says)

    LOL, Javi, is he really this happy he knows it before she tells him or is he just trying to cover up the fact he is hurting she replaced him so quickly? Anyway, Kail’s decision to just sleep with Chris and see what happens was the dumbest I ever heard in a while. (oh sorry, it was “unexpected”, WHICH ONE IS IT?!) God help this little boy, it’s not his fault.

    Honestly I have no snark to say abot Chelsea and Leah, I’m glad Leah is trying to get a proper education (and is happy to be single now) and I’m so glad Aubree has Cole in her life. Adam could learn to be a dad from him even tho Cole had no child of his own before meeting Chelsea. (But immediately knew how to be one, I guess some guys have that just in their blood).

  9. Fuck it I seriously stopped at “Crotchateria.” Shit, I can’t wait to use that!!

    That, coming hot off the heels of “strapped to oxygen and howling”, did me in for the fucking night!!
    Thanks, TheAshley! Stellar as always!

  10. Oh, dear… They need to give this show a more accurate title; maybe, “Love & Fornication in the Anti-Birth-Control Flyover States”?

    But guys, some of this Briana coverage sounds unnecessarily racist. The only difference between B & her fellow madres is that she lives in Fla–and surely, the girl can’t help *that* (a friend of mine at a FL HS had 3 abortions before age 18. She was a sweetie, but the sun & humidity can really inhibit a person’s brain-cell functions).

  11. Honestly, how old was baby Ensley (gotta say, I agree with Nathan in tonight’s episode–it is a stupid name), when her parents left her behind to have time to themselves/get engaged?! My sister had a baby 11 months ago and still won’t leave her baby with our mom overnight.

    If you get engaged on screen, does MTV pay for the ring? How does all of that work? For what items does MTV pay in the name of filming? Meals? Trips? Spa treatments? I know they pay for rehab if they are allowed to film. Where is the line for MTV?

    1. Ensley was three weeks old when David and Jenelle went away for the weekend to get engaged. A couple of weeks later, they went away for over a week. When people pointed out how crazy that was, they claimed MTV “made” them fly out to film. But, Chelsea revealed that MTV was more than understanding that she could not leave her infant who is the exact same age as Ensley. Of course, Jenelle was pissed about this and didn’t actually show up to tape. She and David just treated themselves to a vacation for the next week.

      They’ve apparently left the baby (and their other kids) several times in the past six months. And no, that’s not normal behavior. Jenelle just doesn’t have any maternal instinct.

      1. Jenelle was talking about leaving Ensly and going on vacation at her baby shower. The poor baby wasn’t even out of Jenelle’s womb yet and her birth giver was already talking about leaving her. Babs asked who was going to watch the kids and Jenelle’s response was “I don’t know but we have our passports” ??‍♀️

    2. Ensley is a stupid name. But I laughed hard when he said that because he named his son Kaiser. At least Ensley isn’t named after a bread product.

      Although I just googled Ensley and nearly every result is about bodies being found in Ensley, which is in Alabama

      Conclusion: Kaiser and Ensley are equally stupid names.

      My daughter is 4.5 years old and we’re just now considering allowing her to stay with a close family member overnight. I would have never left her as a newborn.

  12. Watson really did win the daddy lottery! Cole’s like… perfect! Chelsea is a lucky girl! ? I wonder if he has a brother…? ?

  13. Ashley – I love your TM/OG/2 recaps – Jesus God Leah & oh my god dude are normal parts of my lexicon.
    I dutifuly feed my kid sugar packets & tubs of icing (we can git im in Austraya) so I’m livin the dream!
    Long live recaps!

  14. Did anyone else see how drugged Jenelle looked when they brought Ensley home? Is there a reason for that?

    Also I feel like Kail is overly dramatic. Remember when she filed a PFA against Jo after she hit him? I’m also sick of staring at her gross bubble butt.

    Leah’s trying too hard

    1. I’m thinking jenelle probably was drugged up most docs prescribe narcotic pain killers after birth.

    2. I was wondering if anyone else would notice. Jenelle looked drugged pre-baby as well when she was on the phone with her Mom. I mean, maybe that’s just her now, but she seemed SUPER dopey.

  15. Once again affirming my decision not to watch the show, but read the recaps. Kailyn, Jenelle, and (now) Briana have made me stop watching; my heart breaks for their children and it just makes me angry to watch. I said it last week, and I’ll say it again. Thanks to The Ashley that the recaps are back – I can get my guilty pleasure reality fix without actually having to tune in.

  16. Say what you will about this trainwreck of a show but it melted my heart when Cole took Aubrey to the dance again and overall whenever they show the two of them. I’m so happy that Aubrey finally has a nice dad figure.

  17. This time next year Breanna will be living in a big house and driving a Range Rover smh. That MTV money will get em out that apartment real quick.

    Also, anyone else find it odd Janelle didn’t even sit in the backseat when taking her daughter home for the first time? My daughter is 8 months old and I still sit in the back with her lol ??‍♀️

  18. 1) Brittany and her mom need to get lives of their own. Seriously, it’s insane how co-dependant they are!
    2) Um, Lurch had a court date today. Has anyone heard what came of it??? It looks like he was appealing his 60 sentence. Soooooo, if he loses then he’ll be in jail during the swamp weddin’?

  19. The look Brittany gave the cameras when deadbeat Devoin finally showed up! That shit gives me life!!!

    Also, Kaiser, you can always come live at our house. I have a toddler who ONLY eats the brown part of the Chex mix. Seriously.

  20. After all these years, I still giggle when I read “Jesus God Leah” on these recaps. I have no idea why I find it so damn funny but I do.

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