This season of Teen Mom 2 was so ding-dang long (and jammed packed with ridiculousness) that they had to split the Reunion into two parts. While they have done this for past seasons, this time they decided to talk to the girls solo during the first part (click here to read The Ashley’s recap of that mess), and then bring out their assorted baby daddies/ex-husbands/random girls from other shows to talk on stage with them.
Oh, and we also get to talk “wif” Briana, who didn’t really get any screen time during Part 1. Sadly, though, her mother Roxanne (and her assortment of flying footwear) has not made an appearance on this Reunion yet, which makes it almost not worth watching.
Part 2 kicks off with Briana’s solo chat with Dr. Drew Pinsky. Drew makes note that it’s been over four years since he interviewed Briana, during the first and only Teen Mom 3 Reunion. Oddly, though, Dr. Drew seems to be wearing the exact same outfit he was wearing the last time they chatted.
“A lot has changed since that time,” Drew says (obviously not referring to his sport coat selection), “but a lot has remained the same. Briana’s still living with her mom and sister, still having trouble with Devoin and, once again, dealing with an unplanned pregnancy!”
I see that subtle shade, Dr. Drew…and I like it!
“It’s ridiculous…my life,” Briana says.
Well, yeah….that may be the only thing Briana has ever said that actually makes sense.
Dr. Drew also asks Briana how she’s settling in with her fellow ‘Teen Mom 2’ castmates and she tells him she’s getting “high school vibes.” Drew, never one to let any slice of the drama pie go uncut, asks if there is anyone in particular…anyone at all…who has been more unwelcoming than the rest.
Briana hesitates to say who is the most horrible.
“I just think ‘certain people’ are salty about ‘certain things,’” she says.
Obviously, Briana is referring to Kail, who she implies is salty over Briana’s “connection” (via groins) with Javi. Drew looks like he wants to say, “Well, geez, you’re trying to hump her ex-husband, girl!” but he refrains.
Briana says the other girls don’t want to be her friend because of their loyalty to Kail, even though she and Javi are “just friends.” (Fun fact: Javi and Briana made their made-for-TV love official during the taping of this Reunion, so there very well may have been humpage going on during this time.)
“It’s not going to work out,” Briana says of a friendship with Kail. “We tried today and it didn’t work out.” (This is likely the incident she’s referring to here, by the way.)
Briana then tells us Baby Daddy No. 2 Luis has stepped up and finished his trucking school. She says he’s throwing some money her way but hasn’t really been showing up to reclaim his spot on her couch.
As for Briana’s OG baby daddy, Devoin, his monetary contributions continue to be little to none and Briana says she’s pretty much numb to the fact that her girls have bottom-of-the-barrel dads. Well, it’s back to the club to hunt for a more stable Baby Daddy No. 3, Bri!
Devoin then makes his way to the stage and tells the doc that he’s a changed man…sort of. He says he knows he’s important to Nova but he isn’t coming around more often because Briana calls the shots and because he still doesn’t have a driver’s license. (Surely he’s allowed a bus pass, though?)
Devoin wants Nova to come over to his house so she can get to know his family. But, as Briana told him before The Great Ale House Throwdown of 2017, she’s not down with his proposed arrangement.
Dr. Drew states the obvious, that Nova can’t get to know Devoin’s family if she’s not allowed to visit them, but Briana is standing firm (“in her power,” as Leah would say) and tells him it’s their own fault for not being “active in her life.”
In addition to Briana’s fears of stranger danger, she says she also doesn’t want Nova to know what jail is, specifically that her dad has been an occasional occupant.
In an attempt to defend his time behind bars, Devoin reminds Briana that he was in jail, not prison, therefore there’s no shame in his orange jumpsuit game.
“It’s not a felony! I’m not a felon,” Devoin protests.
(Hey—bein’ a felon ain’t illegal!)
At this point we start to see Briana get heated, but maybe it’s just that pleather jacket she has draped over her shoulders in attempt to make her look “more classier.”
Because Dr. Drew is a glutton for punishment, Roxanne and Brittany join the group next. Given the fact that she closed the season standing up in a booth and yelling at her granddaughter’s father in a crowded restaurant, Roxanne tries to redeem herself and play nice, at least for now.
She tells Dr. Drew that she doesn’t want to argue with Devoin because she knows Nova is the one negatively impacted when s**t hits the fan/Roxanne’s feet hit the seat of a restaurant booth.
Back on the topic of Nova visiting Devoin and his family, Briana (who clearly had time to think of more excuses during the commercial break) tells Devoin that Nova is shy and the family reunion process is one that needs to happen gradually and not all at once.
“You have to inch your way in, you know?” Brittany says.
Oh he (and Luis and possibly even Javi) know all about that, Brit.
Devoin says he doesn’t understand why Nova has to go to school instead of spending time with him. Surely Devoin holds the wisdom in his dome to teach his daughter all of life’s important lessons, like how to duck when a vase is thrown at your head, or how to come up with cool Twitter alias names. (#PapiChuloForever!)
Even though Luis is busy “doing the trucking” (and probably DJ-ing at random truck stops in or around the Orlando area), the group is still forced to talk about him as if he’s there. When Dr. Drew brings him up, Roxanne and Briana surprisingly act like he’s Father of the Year because he “got his s**t together” (i.e. he gives Briana some cash and doesn’t ask to see his kid.)
Brittany reminds the group that Luis “is, like, 35” and should have his life together. It seems to irk Britt that Briana and Roxanne are patting Luis on the back while trashing Devoin.
Finally, Devoin has had enough. He decides to stand in his power and gets snarky with Briana. He asks why it’s OK for Briana to work and still live at home, but not him.
Roxanne interrupts and tells him the difference is “jail,” while Briana says it all comes down to consistency. Briana says she takes care of her kid and Devoin doesn’t, to which Devoin argues again that Briana won’t let him.
The two go back and forth about Devoin’s absence from Nova’s birthday parties.
“Well, I’ve been in jail for two of them,” he says. (Perhaps he could have asked for a special leave from jail to attend the parties as everyone’s favorite birthday party entertainer, Convict the Clown?)
Devoin says he didn’t attend the parties he wasn’t behind bars for, because he wasn’t invited. Briana calls him a liar. Roxanne reminds Devoin that he becomes the Groundhog of ‘Teen Mom’ fairly often, going underground for long stretches of time and only resurfacing when there are no pending child support charges against him.
At this point, Dr. Drew remembers that he’s hosting a show and rejoins the conversation, telling the group that there’s room for improvement with Nova and the relationship with Devoin and his family. He also volunteers Brittany to shuttle Nova back and forth to Devoin’s house since she’s currently the most mature of the bunch (congrats…?) Brit agrees to do it.
After a little more arguing, Briana gets frustrated and threatens to pull a Jenelle and make an early exit from the stage. Then she remembers she still has to solidify her spot on this show and refrains from going full diva (at least this season) and sits back down.
Although her feet don’t run, her mouth continues to, naturally. She also expresses her desire to “throw s**t” at her ex. (A shoe? A vase? A basket of Ale House mozzarella sticks?)
In order to prevent this Reunion from turning full-on Jerry Springer Show, they hustle Briana & Co. off the stage and bring up the next girl.
It’s Kail, who is joined by Javi. They tell the doc that things between them aren’t great right now. (I guess that season of Marriage Boot Camp was a waste, eh? That’s quite the shocker.)
Kail says she’s tired of Javi trying to use the fact that she squatted out some random dude’s kid against her.
“He tells me, ‘You had a whole baby with another man!’” Kail says.
When asked about rumors that they may rekindle their relationship, Kail says talks have been ongoing for weeks, and they’re back and forth on whether or not they’ll make it happen. (Spoiler alert: they haven’t.)
Javi says he has trust issues when it comes to Kail and her male friends, which is totally understandable considering she did make a baby with one of them. Kail says she doesn’t trust him either. The two agree with Dr. Drew when he calls their relationship “complicated on an emotional level.”
To add to the overall complicity of these two and their situation, they both say they aren’t attracted to each other. Even Dr. Drew points out that this revelation makes little sense given the fact that they sort of, kind of want to get back together.
Dr. Drew suggests Kail and Javi enlist the help of Jo to sort out whatever nonsense they’re going through. (Oh, I’m sure that’s just what Jo wants to spend his free time doing—playing referee between Javi “All About Those Teen Moms” Marroquin and Kail “He’s Just a Friend” Lowry. Did you ever think, Drew, that perhaps Jo wants to use his downtime to resurrect his long-lost rap career?)
Speaking of Jo, it’s time to bring him out on stage so he can earn his paycheck.
Being the patient-to-a-fault human that he is, Jo sits down and offers his ear to Javi if he ever needs someone to talk s**t about Kail to. Although Jo’s demeanor is as cool as his reunion getup, he does admit to Dr. Drew that Kail having Lux affected him, just as it did when she had Lincoln. This causes Kail to get emotional, and she tells Dr. Drew that she’s obviously not good at relationships and it hurts to hear Jo say that her situation has bothered him.
“I don’t like seeing her with other men,” Jo reveals. (Ooooh, I’ll bet somewhere backstage Vee is sitting there with her eyebrows up, Roxanne-style, going, “Excuse me?” Jo may be sleeping in the hotel lobby tonight!)
He quickly clarifies, stating that it’s not a love or attraction thing, and it’s about Isaac.
Kail quickly recovers from her bout of the feels as the conversation switches to her future career and living situation. Kail says she plans to stay in Delaware because her gaggle of baby daddies reside there. However, the lack of job opportunities (other than appearing on reality TV, that is) has her considering New York or LA as possibilities.
No. 1 and No. 2 are both unhappy about this plan, so it looks like Kail will not get a chance to live out her big city dream until at least Isaac and Lincoln are out of the house.
Mercifully, it’s time to move on to the next girl.
Leah hits the stage next, and Dr. Drew gets right down to business because he’s been filming this reunion for 12 hours and he’s hoping to make it over to the Burlington Coat Factory before their sport coat sale is over.
Leah is joined by Jeremy via video chat. (It’s amazing what they can do with The Internets these days, y’all! They can beam your baby daddy(s) right into wherever you are!)
As soon as Jeremy’s face pops up on the giant screen, Leah can’t help but smile and turn red.
Dr. Drew asks Jeremy about his busy work schedule and ever-so-slyly finds a way to turn that into a conversation about the disaster that is Jeremy’s relationship with Brooke. Despite being educated in the “not well” schools of West Virginia, Jeremy isn’t as dumb as he looks. He knows exactly what Drew is trying to do, and he shuts things down real quick, telling the doc that the topic of Brooke is off the table.
Leah happily discusses her ex’s relationship, though, and tells Dr. Drew that Jeremy and Brooke’s dumpster love life has had an impact on Addie. Leah is especially bothered when Jeremy takes what free time he does have to spend with his lady friend(s) instead of his butter-loving baby girl.
Dr. Drew comes right out and asks if Leah and Jeremy are rekindling things. They both deny the romance rumors but admit that they have a “healthy relationship.” They also revisit the infamous bar photo that was taken in the midst of one of Jeremy and Brooke’s many breakups, and again the pair deny anything happened after that Kodak moment.
Jeremy tells Dr. Drew that he and Brooke are, once again, “on a break.” Dr. Drew takes this news as a cue to ask Leah and Jeremy again if they might get back together, but this time they both stay silent and leave it on a “so be it” note, according to Jeremy. Umm… all right.
The next to be subjected to the horrible lighting and bad angles of the video chat is Corey. Dr. Drew talks to Corey about Ali’s health issues and his acceptance and proactive approach to her diagnosis as well as Gracie’s need to see a therapist.
Since that’s not very entertaining (since no one is yelling “Monkey!” this season), they move things right along to the next girl.
Chelsea is back on the stage, and because her baby daddy is unavailable (and/or unconscious) currently, they throw her up on the stage with Maci of Teen Mom OG. Dr. Drew tells viewers “he” wanted to take an opportunity for the girls to share their similar experiences of co-parenting with someone struggling with an addiction. (Well, yeah, that and…let’s be honest, MTV knew this would pull some decent ratings getting the two favorite ‘Teen Moms’ together.)
Maci tells Dr. Drew that things are good with her and her brood, but she doesn’t really know what’s going on with Ryan.
Chelsea talks about seeing Mr. Ryan’s Wild Ride on TV and how it made her feel better about her decision to set boundaries when it comes to Aubree and Adam. Maci agrees, telling her that when your child is involved, you can never be too careful.
Chelsea said sharing her story was tough because she doesn’t want to rock the boat with Adam’s parents and also because she knows Aubree will likely see the footage one day. Despite her concerns, she says it’s important to talk about because others are going through similar situations with substance abuse. (Dr. Drew even points out that a bunch of the ‘TM2’ and ‘OG’ cast have had problems getting too high! high! at one point or another.)
As for Maci, she says her relationship with Ryan’s parents isn’t at all what it used to be because she believes they felt betrayed by her decision to talk openly about Ryan’s problems. She says even though things aren’t great at the moment, she thinks everything will be fine down the road, calling this an “emotional and tender time.”
In typical ‘Teen Mom’ Reunion style, Dr. Drew closes the show by bringing out the whole circus – the girls, kids, extended family, current/former spouses and any other willing participants… or at least those who didn’t storm off the stage earlier in the show. (Looking at you, David. Well, we mean we WOULD be looking at you if you had recovered from your hissy fit and returned to the set.)
On that note, props to Dr. Drew for making a point to condescendingly thank Jenelle for coming back to the studio.
Before signing off, Drew talks to the kids and asks Kaiser to end the show.
“We’re done filming,” Kaiser announces into the microphone, which was surely met by much laughter by the MTV producers backstage who know this cash cow isn’t coming to a halt anytime soon.
Until next season kids!
To read The Ashley’s previous ‘Teen Mom 2’ recap, click here!