‘Teen Mom 2’ Season 8A Finale Recap: 2 Weddings, 1 Baby & a Whole Lot of Butter

“I think one of them skeeters just flew in my mouth!”

Another season of Teen Mom 2 is coming to an end and, as per usual, the group is going out with a bang. (After all, that’s how this whole show began, right?) Yes, this recap is a late, but…pretend it got lost on The Land for a week…or something.

On this week’s episode, Jenelle marries the love of her life Andrew  Kieffer  Gary Nathan Lurch, while Chelsea celebrates her marriage for a second time. Leah sends Addie off to preschool to get her learn on, Briana and her family make a scene (again, as per usual) and Kail pops out another baby. So…basically, business as usual for these knuckleheads.

The episode starts off at The Land where we learn that Jenelle and Lurch “worked things out” after kicking the crew off their un-sodded property on the last episode. (We can assume that this means Jenelle went to soak her hooves in her bathtub while Lurch angrily shoveled sod while grunting his anger out.)

Sod or no sod, the wedding is back on y’all! Jenelle has somehow snagged Jace and has put him to work sweeping the dance floor in his pajamas. Producer Kristen is there, looking like she hasn’t slept in days. (She was, no doubt, ordered by Jenelle and Lurch to shovel sod into the wee hours the night before, after having to wrestle a hot dog away from Kaiser as her only nourishment.)

“I’ll tell you this: I’m not doing this crap for my mom’s next few weddings!”

Lurch is getting some Christmas lights strung out (er…I mean, strung up…sorry, Freudian slip!) while Jenelle is dodging her assortment of offspring and trying to get all glammed up for The Wedding Of The Century. Random Jenelle friend Allison is helping Jenelle curl her hair while Jenelle describes all the things Producer Kristen (and whatever sad, overworked crew members couldn’t run off The Land fast enough) still have to do for the wedding.

“Ya got some sod in your hair, but I think it looks nice…real nice…please don’t hit me.”

OK…can we stop here? Where the hell is Trashbag Tori on this day of festivities? Having a wedding without Tori is like Jenelle having another kid—it should never happen!

Jenelle explains her outburst.

“I was just angry because I didn’t think everything was going to be done in time, and David’s friends weren’t showin’ up,” she says.

Um…give them a break, Jenelle, it’s hard to gnaw through a house arrest ankle bracelet. That takes time!

Jenelle says she envisioned her wedding to look a certain way (more classier, y’all!) and she’s going to be pissed off if she doesn’t get the swamp wedding of her dreams!

“I’ll have some local street youths patrolling The Land to make sure my mom doesn’t sneak on the property!”

Jenelle doesn’t miss an opportunity to remind her rando friend that Barbara won’t be making an appearance on her big day, nor will any of her other family members… aside from her gaggle of offspring.

Over at Kail’s, we are in full panic mode because the baby could tunnel out of Kail’s lady waffle at any time now! She’s feeling lightheaded. The MTV film crew foolishly heads back to their Super 8 motel to get some sleep (and cry into a Little Ceaser’s Hot ‘n’ Ready while wondering how their life has come to this). Of course, Kail goes into labor right after the crew leaves.

“Ughhh, my gentlemen greeter hurts, guys! I think this may be it!”

She tells us that she decided she didn’t want to be “caught in the stirrups” on national TV yet again, so the crew did not come to film the baby’s birth. (Sorry guys, but there will be no “Hold my foot!” Part 2.)

“A few hours later, I delivered a healthy baby boy,” Kail tells us in the voiceover. (Um…did the cartoonist take a vacation or something? We don’t even get to watch a cartoony Kail huffing and puffing the kid out? What a racket!)

The next day, Javi tells Lincoln that he’s a big brother and little Lincoln is excited and ready to meet his little bro. Javi briefly reminisces on his relationship with Kail and the fact that it could have been him and Kail having a baby if things would have panned out differently.

“Waa!”

Despite the possibly awkward current situation, Javi tells his sister he’s happy for Kail and sadly wishes her the best. (Um…I hope the sister removed all of Javi’s shoelaces and whatnot before leaving that night.)

Meanwhile, in Florida, Briana is getting Nova ready for her first day of school with some help from her entourage, Brittany and Roxanne. Briana has donned her best cut-off jean shorts and tank top for the occasion. (To her credit, at least her bra straps aren’t showing this time, so there’s that…)

When your mom comes to your school with a camera crew and her Dr. Miami-enhanced butt hanging out of her shorts…

The three comfort an emotional Nova as she settles into her new classroom, bribing her with a surprise if she sticks it out. (Umm… have they tried working this incentive angle with Luis?)

Nova sits at her desk alone (except for the MTV film crew, of course).

Later that day, Briana and her family arrive to pick Nova up and this time, Devoin joins them. Brittany gets one glimpse of his do-rag covered head and just blurts out, “Oh hell no!”

“Yeah, hi, is there any way I can get a couple of cops to patrol the area…I’m scared.”

You’ve kind of got to love Brittany, you know?

While waiting for Nova to get out of class, Roxanne starts cussing Devoin out in Spanish (as you do), and then tries to make small talk, while Brittany calls him disgusting. Devoin barely acknowledges the DeJesus Clan while waiting for his daughter to come out of the classroom.

Not.Amused.

Nova emerges and Briana hits her with a weird squeal and asks her a bunch of rapid-fire questions in a strange high-pitched voice like Nova was a cocker spaniel or something. Nova doesn’t look amused that she’s the only kid being picked up by an MTV film crew, but she reports that she had a good day at school.

(‘Member back on Teen Mom 3 when Briana went to her one and only day of college and Roxanne and Brittany bought her stickers for completing the day. That has nothing to do with this episode, but wasn’t that so special?)

Over in the hollers of West Virginia, Leah is pumping Addie up for her first day of preschool and the kid seems less interested than the audience at one of her mom’s “speakings.” While helping Addie with learnin’ her letters, Leah reminds her that she needs to use her manners at school, not get in trouble or speak with her mouth full of Lunchables.

“Git yerself on to school, youngin’!”

Addie isn’t much for the learning and such; she simply demands that her mom go get her a treat.

Leah also reaches out to Jeremy to see if he’ll be at the sketchy bus stop to see Addie off on her first day, to which he tells her he’ll try.

“Jeremy Lynn, are you fixin’ to be up’er at the school bus or not?”

The next day, Jeremy is unable to see Addie off, but his Mama comes and regales the girlses of Jeremy’s first day of school. Just then, the bus arrives to whisk Addie and Aleeah off to school (which, as we all know “aren’t well).

Up in South Dakota, Chelsea is talking to Aubree about the wedding reception taking place the next day. (For some reason, though, it’s the night before the wedding and no one is screaming at each other. Imagine that!)

Giiiirl, where’s Landon when you need him?

Later that night, she rattles off her to-do list to Cole and company while Watson gnaws his pajamas out of frustration from having to hear his mom talk about this for the 159th time. With her plate full on reception day, Chelsea is stressed. She doesn’t, however, go grab a shovel and aggressively beat the sod.

Back on The Land, Jenelle unveils her gown to the three lucky individuals cast as her friends this season. She stuffs baby Ensley in a tutu, as a shirtless Jace walks into the room. (We can assume that Jenelle’s other kid, Kaiser, is stuck in the Crib of Doom until it’s time to take “Happy Family” photos for Instagram.)

Jenelle once again gives Jace instructions for walking her down the aisle.

“Marrying yet another guy without a job, eh, Ma?”

“Ok so what you’re going to do is you’re going to walk me down the aisle,” Jenelle explains.

Lurch’s mom Laura Jo (yessss) shows up and helps her son put on his best white blazer and shades. (Because…apparently Lurch and Jenelle are getting married and then appearing on an episode of ‘Miami Vice?’)

“Mirror Mirror, on the wall, who is Jenelle’s hottest soulmate of them all? You are, you hot sugar devil, you!”

Laura Jo ties Lurch’s tie and gushes about her “sweet baby boy” as Lurch admires himself in the bathroom mirror.

Jenelle goes and gets Kaiser (carefully dusting all of the cobwebs off of him) and takes a few photos with him. Kaiser is smiling and laughing, and seems thrilled to be getting to finally see what the part of the house that’s not his bedroom looks like.

Over in Delaware, Kail is back home with the new baby. She tells us that her M.I.A. baby daddy, Chris, actually graced her with his appearance while she expelled his child from her loins.

“Would I be able to get a copy of this family tree? I’m kind of confused here.”

Javi arrives with Lincoln, who is very excited to see his new brother. Javi stands there, basically gulping back tears as Lincoln meets the baby. He’s denying it but we all know he wishes it had been him getting yelled at to hold Kail’s foot during labor.

Jo and Vee arrive to meet the new baby, along with Isaac. Kail tells the kids that the baby does not have a name.

[whispers] “Javi Junior… Javi Junior…”
Lincoln asks Kail if there’s two babies because, “there’s still one in there” he says, pointing to her stomach. Kail laughs off Lincoln’s confusion and tells him, “no, I’m still just really fat.”

Look at Lincoln, coming in with the shade!

Over in The WV, it’s time for Leah to pick up the ‘girlses’ and she is happy to find out that Addie had a good first day. Once the girls are in the car, Addie rats on Aleeah for saying “bulls**t” on the bus. (Perhaps Aleeah was asked by one of her classmates to describe the show her mama is on?)

Back at the house, Addie is literally guzzling Country Crock Butter (AS.YOU.DO). Now that’s she’s a schoolgirl, she can’t be bothered with those “little kid” snacks like frosting or Sweet ‘n’ Low packets. She’s done moved up in her snacking, y’all!

“I ain’t got no bread, so I’ll just eats this butter, y’all!”

After her buttery appetizer, Addie and her sisters dig into some spaghetti while Aleeah talks about school.

“Hey, it gives ya somethin’ to do!” she announces.

Leah attempts to have an inspirational chat with them. She’s obviously trying out some material for her next speaking but Ali is not having it at all. She’s mad eye-rollin’ all over the place and it’s amazing. I think she learned that from one Mr. Corey Tyler!

“Good Lord, if she busts out her lipstick folder, I’m outta here!”

Meanwhile in Florida, the DeJesus clan heads for a celebratory lunch at Ye Olde Ale House and Devoin decides to join. (Hey, he isn’t going to miss out on a free plate of mozzarella sticks, no matter how awkward things may get!)

If only one of Briana’s baby daddies looked at her the way Brittany looks at those pancakes…

At the table, Roxanne gets back to grilling Devoin on his job and he reveals he’s actually working two jobs. Briana tells him if that’s the case, there’s no reason he shouldn’t be helping her out more with Nova but Devoin argues that giving her money should give him permission to take Nova to his house. Briana says she isn’t entertaining that idea because Nova doesn’t even know Devoin’s family.

Roxanne ain’t playin’ so she busts out her smart words.

“Y’all didn’t tell me I was gonna need a helmet for this meal!”

“You haven’t been stable thus far,” she tells Devoin, who at this point should basically be bobbing and weaving as he speaks to Roxanne. (A moving target is harder to hit!)

Sensing the drama brewing, Brittany takes Nova outside, giving Briana, Devoin and Roxanne full reign to get loud… and loud they get.

Devoin ends up calling Briana out for bad mouthing him on social media and the show, and the conversation quickly turns into an argument of who “sucks ass” more.

Fellow patrons are probably thinking their dining experience sucks the most ass at this point, but they haven’t seen anything yet. Briana reminds Devoin that she takes care of both of her kids—by herself!—and Devoin responds, “That’s because you f**ked up your life.”

He does have has a point there…

“Lawwwd, we’re gonna be on the news if Devoin doesn’t stop talking…”

Devoin calls Briana and Roxanne out for dissing him in front of Nova (and more importantly the cameras). The DeJesus women, of course, can’t take responsibility for their actions and start going in on Devoin even more.

Devoin makes a comment about Briana not knowing what it’s like to have a dad, prompting Roxanne to stand up on the table like its last call at Coyote Ugly.

Basically every viewer’s face when we hear Devoin say that and see Roxanne reaching for her shoe…

She’s trying to get in Devoin’s face (and/or find a vase or shoe to throw at him). After security steps in, Devoin makes his graceful exit from the Ale House (surely after throwing his assortment of fried foods into a to-go sack) with his middle fingers in the air over a score of censor beeps.

There’s only one thing to say here: Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

Roxanne keeps cackling that she was “trying to be civil” with Devoin. I’ll give her credit, though: both of her Easy Spirit pumps stayed on her feet this time around! We’re making progress!

Over in South Dakota, it’s reception day for Chelsea and she and her flanneled bridesmaids are getting their hair and makeup done. At the salon, Aubree puts on her mini gown and excitedly twirls it around and after Chelsea slips into her own dress, they all head off to the pop-up tent party. It’s rather uneventful when no one is crying in wood sheds and whatnot.

We get to peek into the reception. The DJ has obviously not signed on to appear on camera because they not only have to blur his face out but also disguise his voice. (At least, I think that’s what’s going on here; otherwise that dude has some serious throat issues!)

I can’t even snark on this wedding because it was so damn sweet…

After Chelsea and Cole are introduced as husband and wife, (again) Aubree surprises them with a sweet recorded message during their first dance. She thanks Cole for making her mom so happy and soon she’s been included in their dance. Later, Cole feeds Chelsea a piece of cake and then immediately gives Aubree a bite too.

The whole thing is genuinely sweet… think the vibe of Jenelle’s big day, except the complete opposite.

Meanwhile, Barbara is having a hard time getting through the day, knowing that her daughter (who is, of course, a bitch of a daughta, but still her daughta) is getting married without her. She’s high (high! high!)-tailed it down to South Carolina for a vacation with her blunt pal Donna. (Um…MTV, can we get a ‘Donna & Babs Take Carolina’ spin-off? Come on, if those Kardashian broads can keep getting spin-offs, so should Babs!)

“I’m not changin’ my mind…and I’m also not changing this hairdo. #MulletStrongSince1986”

Barb says that Lurch has alienated Jenelle from her motha, but Donna says the fault lies with Barb for being unwilling to get along with Lurch. Barb says it’s actually because she’s not willing to hand Jace over. Barb tells Donna she’s never going to get along with Lurch until he apologizes to her.

Donna tells Babs there’s a better chance of Lurch laying sod on the moon than him apologizing to her. She reminds Babs that by not accepting (or pretending to accept) Lurch, she’s choosing to never be in her “dooawter” Jenelle’s life.

“I neva thought I’d long for the days of Kieffa!”

That Donna sure does tell it like it is, doesn’t she? Can we get her to host the Reunions?

In North Carolina, it’s almost time for Jenelle to shuffle herself down the aisle but before the ceremony kicks off, David decides to (further) scar Jace for life by telling him after today, he’ll be like David’s “real son.” Jace’s face pretty much says it all.

Meanwhile Kaiser is trying to eat Jenelle’s makeup brushes. He’s got more makeup on him than even his dad Nathan wears while flexing his muscles in the mirror! (He’s sitting next to an empty beer bottle, naturally.)

“Hey, I told you to feed me.”

Lurch begins to scream at Kaiser, but then remembers they’re still playing “Happy Family Wedding Picnic” and gently reprimands him for his naughtiness.

Jenelle is ready to throw on her dress. She booty-scoots down the bed (giving us a flash of her sick jaguar thigh tattoo, which, really, is the accessory every swamp bride needs on her wedding day!) Jenelle’s friends help shove herself into her dress and someone jams a veil on her head.

“Does a giant jaguar thigh tattoo count as my something blue?”

Not to be outdone, Lurch decides to stride down the aisle wearing his trusty sunglasses, like the shady dude he is. (Sadly, they are not Froco sunglasses.) The more-classier friends they have invited to witness their union are hootin’ and hollerin’ at Lurch as he comes down the aisle.

Ladies and gentlemen…Roy Orbison! 

“Take them sunglasses off! Lookin’ good mother**ker!” one yells.

Isn’t that lovely?

Jenelle heads outside onto The Land, where an antsy Lurch is waiting for.

Why is everyone dressed like they’re going to the local tractor pull?

“What’d she do, back out?” he asks the officiant (who is, of course, a ‘Teen Mom’ security guard.) The assortment of wedding guests, MTV crew members and chaperoning parole officers get a chuckle out of the comment.

Unfortunately (for Jenelle…or Lurch depending on how you look at it), Jenelle does not back out of the wedding. She heads down the aisle with Jace, and she’s got her veil all pulled down over her face like she’s some sort of leper. Lurch is moved to tears.

Oh, just wait until you’re sitting in the back of a cop car screaming “Why am I a guy?!”

They get to the end of the aisle (being carefully to not lose their footing on misplaced sod), with Jenelle holding her dress up the whole way. (Couldn’t they have gotten the dressed hemmed, or, at the very least stapled the bottom up a few inches so she could walk?)

Jace gives his mom away — not unlike she did to him eight years ago. He puts Jenelle’s hand into Lurch’s big oafy paw and moves aside, letting the train go ahead and wreck.

Oh, it hurts so good…

They say some vows and a barefoot Kaiser stomps down the aisle to deliver the rings.

Jenelle basically tells her son that she loves him so much…but now go away. Kaiser tries to bolt, but Jenelle directs him to go stand in the line of discarded offspring. So close, Kaiser, so close…

Soon Lurch and Jenelle are pronounced man and wife. Lurch removes Jenelle’s leper veil (which doubled as a mosquito net to keep away the critters on The Land) and the two share their first kiss as husband and wife. That really gets the crowd going! They’re hootin’ and hollerin’ like Walmart just announced that it no longer will prosecute shoplifters to the fullest extent of the law!

“You get that money, David… I mean that lady!”

Before the couple heads back down the aisle, a random dog strolls across their path. Jenelle then narrowly trips and blames it on the sod not being grown in yet — a comment we’re sure David yelled at her for later. (Save a fight for the honeymoon, y’all!)

The couple goes on to celebrate at the reception… all while conveniently leaving out a large chunk of the drama that went down less than 24 hours before hand. (Luckily, The Ashley has you covered if you want to know how Jenelle and Lurch’s wedding weekend really went down!)

The cartoonist is back from vacation and has come in shadier than ever! He/she ends the episode with the show logo, covered in…you guessed it—sod!

I see what you did there…and I like it….

On the next episode, it’s time for Reunion Madness! To read The Ashley’s reports on what went down during the Reunion taping, click here!

To read other ‘Teen Mom 2’ episode recaps, click here!

63 Comments

  1. I totally missed Addie eating butter! Why do I always have to look away at crucial moments?!? And I hate to say it,considering he’s such a flake, but Devoin was right. If he’s going to pay child support, they need to give him time with his child. Love, love Chelsea and Co.!


  2. so in other words mtv paid for a vacation for lurch and her rented a huge house just so they could walk off stage. tell me that wasn’t planned by these two free loaders


  3. Did Lurch actually call Dr Drew a fa—t for no discernible reason on the reunion show? Dr Drew is ridiculous but Lurch definitely crossed the line on that one.

    Why, oh why, does MTV constantly kowtow to Jenelle and Lurch?!?! That is beyond ridiculous. Time has come for Jenelle to get her shit together and leave Lurch before he ends up killing her in a murder-suicide, or worse—kills himself in front of her. They both need true psychological help.

    The highlight of this reunion (so far) was Doris. ,May she find a judge who does right by Kaiser and removes that poor baby from the shitshow that is his home life


    1. Yes he did call Dr Drew that. I’m not a pc type person but that bothered me. David will end up hurting one of the kids and I hope it’s filmed. That’s why I dont want them to fire jenelle. It’s better to have video proof then lying stories about what happened. Ugh. And the way David was fake baby talking to kaiser when he was in jenelles makeup w annoying. He must have been promised extra meth if he didn’t hit the kids on their wedding day. Lol.


  4. You know, Jenelle. If you have 3 kids and currently have 2 of them in the middle of custody disputes, maybe the problem isn’t everyone else…know what I’m saying, Jenelle?

    And the way that David proclaimed he was leaving the reunion (for no good reason) and then she went with him…no…there’s no control issues there. Not at all – not sure what everyone is talking about. #sarcasm

    When NATHAN is the voice of reason in a situation – you know you’ve got problems. I’m really to bet Keiffah is around getting HIGH HIGH and even saying there’s something wrong over there.


  5. I think this might have been on the episode before this one – but was I the only one that wanted to smack the crap out of Briana when Devoin showed up for school registration (or whatever that is) ready to pay for that aftercare program and then Briana told him it was cash only and he didn’t have cash on him, so she spazzes out and threatens to go after him for child support. And then the She Woman Man Hatin’ Club was all over that – anything to bash a man! And then to see Roxanne (the CEO of the SWMHC) go after him in the middle of a restaurant? What is wrong with these women?

    I’m not saying that Devoin is any kind of prize as a father, but he seems to be trying now but with those 3 broads you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t. He could have shown up with 18k gold Rolls Royce and went in an paid for the full 18 years of Nova’s aftercare up front in cash and with tips for all the teachers, and these 3 broads would have been bitching it wasn’t a 24k gold Rolls.


  6. I like how Courtland, ya know – the last guy she married, doesn’t even warrant a spot on the strikethrough like of former soul mates. 😀


  7. I don’t know why Jenelle was stressing the little details of her wedding so much. I mean, she’ll definitely have two or three more chances in the future to get it perfect, so no big deal.


  8. “Yeah, hi, is there any way I can get a couple of cops to patrol the area…I’m scared.” I lost it 😂😂

    Donna irks my soul. If Babs didn’t like Lurch because of her own feelings that’s different. But Lurch is abusive to everyone around him including Jenelle. Why should Babs be nice to someone like him? Why should anyone in general? If Babs turned a blind eye and kissed his ass everyone would be calling her an enabler. She would be showing not only David, but everyone else that she condoned it. Pick up a remote, Donna. Educate yourself on this beast.


    1. Right?? I think she’s being too hard on Barbara – David is a controlling abusive psycho and Barbara wishes Jenelle would see that and she wants to keep Jace safe but she’s the one being blamed for all of Jenelle’s terrible choices.


      1. I hate that people blame her for Jenelle’s problem. I’m sure Babs wasn’t the perfect mother but when does it become Jenelle’s fault? Jenelle is 25(?), married (abusive or not), and has had two other children. Why are we still blaming the parents at this point? She has the opportunity, as well as long ago, to get help with her addiction problem and her mental illnesses and has chosen not to. It isn’t Babs fault anymore.
        And as far as keeping Jace safe, before the agreement was set, I believe Babs wouldn’t have a choice but to keep him away from Jenelle at times because of her and Lurches behavior. Was it something that she did with a smile on her face? I wouldn’t think so but I do believe it was the only choice she had. The positive drug tests were kept from us for a long time. Can you imagine what’s happened that HASNT been made public? Like how scary is that? How low are we gonna stoop here?


  9. You deserve a medal and a Pulitzer the Ashley’s. No how idea how you manage to top yourself.
    Had to leave the living room cause I was laughing so often and loud.
    Glad you went there, Jace giving Jenelle away. The truth it the truth, even when it hurts
    the image you want to keep up.


  10. After watching last nights reunion part 1, i have to bring up that David got so mad at Dr Drew having a normal conversation w jenelle that David says ‘I bet he’s a faggot’ referring to Dr Drew. Pretty crappy. They blurred the word except for the F, but very obvious that’s what it was. He’s crazy. And Dr Drew was partly defending some of David’s antics.


    1. He’s out of his sod-beating, Kaiser tossing, fill the street full up uppercut mind. MAJOR control issues. And he and Jenelle wonder why nobody ever wants to be around them, and why they are so heavily criticized.


    2. David couldn’t hide the hillbilly psycho anymore watching Dr. Drew talk to Jenelle. And she’s too stupid or high or whatever to Notice that he isn’t “protective” like she thinks, it’s control and abuse and it’s so sad for those kids. And of course Dr. Drew being a pussy that he is really didn’t dive deep at all with the abuse or control issues


    1. No kidding. Barbs friend is annoying and totally talking out of her ass. Why try to make barb feel bad by saying things. Barb could send David 20 nice texts, he’s still gonna be crazy. I also can not get past the veil jenelle wore over her face. I don’t think that particular one is made for that and she looked like she was gonna pass out.


  11. Here I am, a whole season later, still trying to figure out why Briana and the DeJesus harpies were even added to the show to begin with. The other girls (Mainly Jenelle) don’t set a great example to begin with, but those women are out of their minds. Seriously, what adult starts SCREAMING AND STANDING ON TABLES in a public restaurant?????


    1. THAT’S why they were added! The show needs more “jaw dropping entertainment” & those girls are always gonna bring the crazy. 🤦🏼‍♀️


  12. Holy Schnikeys! The Ashley and Chelsea knocked it outta the park! Just an absolutely great recap!
    It sounds like the kids and ‘supporting cast’ really came thru on putting the whole mom gang in check lol. I cannot wait to watch this episode. The ‘suck ass’ fight sounds like a real ring tone opportunity that I should not miss 🙂
    Thank you for continuing to subject yourselves to this stuff for our sake!


    1. Even when I try to be nice I get downvotes lol.
      Wow there are some seriously thin-skinned people out there in the world smdh


      1. Hahaha and I drink your haterade, losers. It seems to be there is a The Ashley hater amongst the group. All of the posts praising the recap have downvotes lol.


        1. It’s usually a handful of people that disagreed w something you said months ago and they downvote you just bc of your name. Happens to me all the time. Haha it’s funny. I just think… 💃🏼💃🏼


  13. “He puts Jenelle’s hand into Lurch’s big oafy paw and moves aside, letting the train go ahead and wreck.”

    I love this (and The Ashley) so much. One of your best recaps yet!


  14. Most important Ashley, why no mention of how GREAT Chelsea Grace looks these days??? She has really been putting in the work! Meanwhile, Jenelle’s craptastic back yard bumpkin wedding was nothing but hilarious to watch! I mean, how awful was that whole thing? That sad little “flower arrangement” that was half falling down at the altar, no friends or family at your own wedding because of what an awful person you are, and how if you had any said friends they would have never let you walk down the isle with that hideous veil over your face like the idiot that you are and keep it for the whole ceremony!


  15. Jenelle draping the whole veil in the front is just so perfect. Maybe if she had invited her mom, she wouldn’t look like such a trainwreck during the ceremony. But of course, how else could she play victim if she didn’t exclude her family and then cry that her family wasn’t there.

    Yes, Barb shutting her friend down. No way in he!! she should pretend like David is a good guy and make nice. He terrified Jace and Kaiser and controls Jenelle. Faking nice just normalizes his crazy, abusive antics.

    If Devoin is serious about seeing Nova, he needs to file for visitation. It’s obvious Briana isn’t going to just let it happen because he asked. That being said, withholding support because he isn’t “allowed” to see Nova on his terms is equally messed up. Basically, they all suck and Roxanne is insane.

    Leah has improved so much and it’s great to see. She will never win mother of the year, but she is trying and it’s paying off. Both she and the girlses seem much happier and healthier.

    I almost feel bad for Javi and then I remember he’s dating Briana. At this point, he should know better. He’s going from bad to worse and taking Lincoln along for the ride. No sympathy here.

    Chelsea’s life is boring and great. Good for her.


  16. Also did anyone read what kailyn said about chris and how he cheated on her the whole pregnancy? She did that to herself. I thought the only reason that she was pregnant with his baby is because she wanted another one no matter what her relationship was with chris. She is so stupid. She can’t cry about it now because it is too much to handle. It’s your own fault


    1. She mentioned it and I started laughing hysterically, because you actually have to be a couple for someone to cheat, and they weren’t a couple for at least 6 months of her pregnancy.


    2. The best part about this is that KAIL was the side piece. Dumbass, you can’t get cheated on if y’all were never together. She just will never admit the truth.


      1. Right!? Talking about Chris being with “his hoes” all season, like she wasn’t the side chick who got humped and “dumped”.


    3. It’s funny because she said the same shit with Javi and tried to say that he cheated while deployed. BUT when someone had called her out for cheating while he was deployed, she said they weren’t together when he left for deployment and she didn’t cheat. Personally, I think she was one of Chris’ side pieces. I think she wanted to be more than that and when he shut her down, she trapped him.


  17. AHAHAHAHAHA, loved reading this!

    Briana and her family are crazy. ‘Nuff said.

    I do think Javi really didn’t expect Kail to be pregnant by another dude so soon. But now he’s dating Briana so it’s not like I can feel sorry for him.

    Addie is savage. And such a cutie. I’m glad Leah is a great mom now, we all remember how it was when she was high, high, high!

    Aubree is the sweetest. She got extremely lucky with Cole being her “new” dad. (We all know Adam for sure isn’t) And Watson is a cutie. They are really boring now but that’s a good thing!

    Jenelle and Lurch. I don’t understand why Donna is blaming Babs for not getting along with him, it’s not like he is making an effort to be likable! And Jace is truly scared but somehow she doesn’t see it. Your family is questioning him for a reason, it’s not like he is a good guy. Get a grip, woman! Now he got what he wanted, prob will knock you up again soon and the eventual divorce will be messy.


  18. I can’t believe how in the scene with Brian’s family at dinner that they were so loud in a crowded restaurant. They swear too much in front of the kids and also talk about things that shouldn’t be talked about in front of them. Nova and Stella are going to be teen moms just like their mom if they can’t grow up


  19. Aubree’s little voice over for Chelsea’s and Cole’s first dance was the sweetest thing ever, especially since you could hear that it wasn’t scripted (I’m throwing shade at you, Jenelle) to make them appear like a happy family. It’s sad to say, but given time, Aubree might not even remember Adam all that much because she’s regarding Cole as her Dad. Once Watson begins talking, it’s very likely that Aubree will stop calling Cole by his first name all together and simpy refer to him as what he is for her: “Dad”.


  20. I have been watching South Park pretty consistly these past few years and it totally reminds me Heidi and Cartman. Except Heidi is likeable. Well she used to be.

    Anyways Kyle made a point that if everyone is badmouthing Cartman, then it makes Heidi dig her heels in more.

    That is perfect understanding of UBT and skankface. The more people imply she is making a mistake, she becomes determined to prove she that her judgement isn’t flawed. And it great way to stick to her like she would ever admit Babs was right.
    So she constantly makes up excuses for his disturbing behavior.

    The tension between is almost tangible enough to be seen with the naked eye. It is weird because Jenelle is so pushy and confident to the point that is a negative personality trait. But he has her cowed,

    I was watching Last Week Tonight finale and John Oliver brought up “whataboutism” which Jenelle used as a defense mechanism by bringing up Nathan’s past transgressions.


  21. Best article ever!!
    I’m so sick of Jenelle and her victim act my mom wasn’t there my dad what happened at her first wedding? And you arent following David to the hotel you got a house remember? Is anyone going to ever bring up the fact her daughter was born with pot in her system?
    Dr Drew why didn’t you? Why didn’t you talk to Nathan’s mom some more she seems like a normal person in this scenario? It breaks my heart because people think CPS would do something if he was really in danger and the truth is they usually don’t their is so many that slips through the cracks.
    Kail all I have to say is you should have named that baby Karma


  22. Kailyn needs therapy. She lies just as much as Janelle. Kailyn looks like a cow sitting next to the others. Kailyn cries about Chris but not about Javi. Cry,cry,cry, you psycho. Who in their right mind would say a picture of their child isn’t flattering? Fake.


    1. This comment is gross and you should feel gross. She said that because rude kail obsessed people like you make fun of her kid’s appearance. Relax holy shit.


      1. I must have missed the part where Kail Is From Hell! (lol) made fun of a child’s appearance. Seriously, what are you ranting about?


    2. Read my comment again. Kailyn told teen mom to take a picture of Lux down because it wasn’t flattering.


  23. “Jace gives his mom away — not unlike she did to him eight years ago.”

    The most savage thing you’ve written yet. OMFG, I loved this recap !!!


    1. But Jenelle never gave Jace away, Barb “stole him”, remember? And now, she won’t give him back which is why Jenelle and Lurch cannot be a happy sod(ding) family 😉


  24. too funny janelle’s hillbilly wedding proving money cannot buy class! So she gets an expensive dress and gets a tacky veil held in by a comb and no back veil? she cries that none of her family was there fake tears at that during this episode and the reunion I’m watching. Well Janelle why is that because you have attacked and driven away every family member and friend. But not ever the victim its always everyone else’s fault. oh and janelle we know how you love to read everything you wedding was trash compared to Chelsea who has more class in her toe then you will ever have. Let’s all have a pity party for janelle she is so picked on and lurch sits there watching the reunion like a physcho and pulls her out of there but its everyone else right.

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