Happy Thanksgiving to all of The Ashley‘s American readers! As we all prepare to sit down at our dinner tables this year to attempt to cram a disgusting amount of mashed potatoes, various crunchy-onion-topped vegetables and pumpkin pie into our gullets, let us give thanks for the things in life that really matter: reality television and the people who appear on them for our amusement!
Each year on Thanksgiving, The Ashley takes the time to reflect on the things that she is grateful for.
1. The Art of “Farrah Speak”
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Always winning ❤️? when your views are this amazing #antibullying . Always listen to your gut to do the right thing, it will save your energy, stay away from evil drama & focus on your successes & talents. Boxing will for ever be apart of my life & has shown me the above I’m grateful I no longer tolerate the time wasting bad people who use me. #freedom #winning #victory #farrahabraham #strength #livingmybestlife
Nothing quite tickles The Ashley like Farrah Abraham’s attempts to sound smart. The former ‘Teen Mom’ star—- who seems to somehow find a way to wiggle her way into the tabloid headlines each week—- can always be counted on to deliver an inane quote (or six!)
Much like her attempts to find a boyfriend, Farrah fails miserably at this task. In fact, Farrah’s rambling “word salad” quotes are such a work of art that The Ashley has deemed them “Farrah Speak.”
A quote qualifies as “Farrah Speak” when it contains sentences that Farrah has “over-worded,” has a hefty dose of self-praise, has little to no punctuation, and/or has a bunch of parts that make little to no sense. As a courtesy to her readers, The Ashley does her best to provide “Farrah Speak” translations whenever possible!
2. Jill Dillard’s Disgusting Recipes
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For our Sunday lunch today is one of our favorites…a good, inexpensive recipe! Lime & Cilantro Beans (for the recipe…use the search bar in our website’s “recipes” section to locate: www.dillardfamily.com) or check out my story for a direct link!???? #sodelicious also, my hubby is the best!❤️ Last pic is him vacuuming for me while I prepared lunch!
Former ‘Counting On’ star Jill Dillard has been desperately trying to keep her mug in the public eye ever since her husband Derick got booted from Jill’s family’s reality show. (Jill faithfully followed him off the show because…well, Duggar….)
One way Jill has tried to keep herself relevant is by posting some of her signature “recipes” to her family blog. While “food blogger” may seem like a great way for Jill to make money while making a home, things haven’t worked out so well for poor Jill.
With the horrifying photos and wilted ingredients, Jill’s attempts to become a food blogger have garnered her a lot of backlash from the media and Duggar fans.
However, The Ashley encourages anyone with masochistic personality to attempt one of Jill’s signature dishes. May she suggest adding Jill’s “Poor Man’s Pizza” to your Thanksgiving feast? Or perhaps serve… whatever the hell is in that poor kid’s bowl in the photo above. Is it cookies ‘n’ cream chow mein? Black bean cereal? Who knows!
3. The Transformation of The Situation:
This year, The Ashley was grateful to see how much ‘Jersey Shore’ star Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino has changed since we last saw him. Mike, who was once the most-hated person on ‘Jersey Shore’ (other than, like, Angelina…), is now a postive, sober man who takes care of his friends when they spiral. Thanks to ‘Jersey Shore Family Vacation,’ we got to see Mike go from the insensitive jerk who used to call ugly girls “grenades,” to a man happily married to his college sweetheart, Lauren Pesce.
Mike is proof that people can change…even jerky, awful reality TV stars!
4. An Endless Supply of Knocked-Up Teenagers Willing to Air Their Dirty Laundry on TV:
Thanks to ‘Teen Mom,’ ‘Teen Mom: Young and Pregnant’ and ‘Unexpected,’ there is certainly no shortage of shows about young girls who keep squatting out babies, and for this, The Ashley is grateful. Why, you ask? Two words: JOB.SECURITY.
As long as there are young couples willing to fight on camera, get in boxing matches with their mothers-in-laws and literally squeeze out a kid during filming, The Ashley will be here to recap it all for you for years to come!
5. Her Readers!
The Ashley is so grateful for all of you, who come to The Roundup each day for your news and snark! The Ashley is so happy that there are others out there who share her love of bad reality TV and all the ridiculousness that comes with it!
From the readers who create funny names for themselves when they leave a comment on The Roundup (which The Ashley loves, by the way!) to all of the folks on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram who support the site, The Ashley is truly thankful for all of you!
To see what The Ashley was grateful for in 2017, click here!
(Photo: Alex Wong/Getty Images, MTV, Instagram)