‘Teen Mom OG’ Season 5B Episode 3 Recap: The One Where Everyone Parties…But Farrah

That face you make when you realize Farrah is still on this stupid show...
That face you make when you realize Farrah is still on this stupid show…

It’s time to check back in with our favorite not-so-teenaged moms! This week, our four heroines will be making more bad life decisions, and, luckily MTV was there to document them all! This episode will be extra special because there will be strippers involved (who are oddly not Farrah…).

We kick things off in Michigan, where Catelynn and Tyler are only weeks away from getting hitched. They’ve decided to forgo Catelynn’s idea of having a joint bachelor/bachelorette party because, well, Tyler wants some enormous stripper boobies in his face before he says “I do.”

Catelynn is trying her best to be a progressive fiance and act like she’s totally fine with Tyler, his friends and of course Butch heading out in a party bus to a strip club (because, I mean…what could go wrong in that scenario?!)

Thank you for being a friend, Butch...
Thank you for being a friend, Butch…

Meanwhile, Butch is sitting in their living room with his salt-n-peppa locks flowing. (He has essentially become Dorothy from ‘The Golden Girls’…only with a mustache and prison record.) Tyler is worried that it might not be a good idea to take his fresh-from-the-slammer pop, who is prohibited by law from drinking or drugging, to a bachelor party that is essentially just a night of drunken hi-jinks. (Again…what could possibly go wrong in this situation!?)

Butch assures Cate and Ty that he’s not about to make a stupid decision and get drunk, only to be sent back to the slip-and-slide showers of the Michigan Department of Corrections. He says he will attend the festivities but stay sober.

To celebrate his freedom (and to look good for the strippers), Butch decides to…cut his hair.

My face when Butch says he wants to cut his hair...
My face when Butch says he wants to cut his hair…

As you can imagine, this is a hard scene for The Ashley to watch. Please take a moment for yourselves to mourn the loss of Butch’s legendary hair.

Catelynn perks up when she realizes that Butch getting his hair cut may be a good thing, since he will be meeting Carly and her adoptive parents at the wedding. Nothing would scare the Whitebreads more than a man with crazy hair (and a rap sheet) running toward their daughter screaming, “Come to Grandpa!”

Tyler, Cate and Butch head over to Sonya’s hair salon so Butch can get his makeover. Does this scene remind anyone else of those horrific makeovers that Jenny Jones used to give her talk show guests in the late 1990s? (Did I just age myself here?) If Butch comes out wearing an ugly orange suit and sporting fashionable mom hair, at least we know what happened to ol’ Jenny in the decades since her show went off the air.

Why God WHY?!?!
Why God WHY?!?!

Anyway, Sonya sits Butch down in the chair and immediately hacks off his luscious braid of hair. (Not gonna lie, this scene hurt a little.) She proudly displays that Butch Braid on her table. Honestly, she could sell it to some sort of museum. Or at least, sell it on eBay.

But Butch isn’t getting just a quick chop-and-go, no sir! He’s getting a full-on makeover, complete with a dye job. This is a big step up from the grooming routine Butch had become accustomed to in prison, where he had a guy named Big Tony trim his mullet with his toenail clippers.

"I'm watching you, Sonya! You best not be trying to steal that braid!"
“I’m watching you, Sonya! You best not be trying to steal that braid!”

Tyler and Cate go outside to wait for Butch’s transformation to be complete. Butch emerges later and it’s the best reality TV transformation scene since The Swan was on the air. (Again, did I just age myself?)

Butch looks like a new man, and will no longer scare women and children! Butch is looking good, feeling good and is ready to take on life!

He’s allowed to take his braid with him when he leaves the salon. (Perhaps he can hand out strands at Cate and Ty’s wedding? Who needs a wedding favor?!!)

Next, we head over to Indiana, where Amber has pissed off Gary by filing for joint custody of Leah. To get back at Amber, Gary has reduced her visitation with Leah to the minimum amount of time he can, which is just a few hours a week. Since she is Leah-less, Amber and Matt somehow manage to crowbar themselves off their couch so they can head to a restaurant for an MTV-paid-for meal. At lunch, a ‘Teen Mom’ producer notices Matt’s giant tattoo of Amber’s name.

"No amount of ink can portray the love I have for you...and your MTV paycheck."
“No amount of ink can portray the love I have for you…and your MTV paycheck.”

“I’ve had it forever,” Matt says, as the producer admires that name, as well as the hearts and music note around the name. (For some reason, Matt neglected to put a dollar sign around Amber’s name, which, coincidentally, would have been much more accurate to represent his relationship with Amber.)

Matt asks Amber where she wants to take Leah the next day. Amber says the park, and Matt looks disappointed that they’ll be going somewhere that’s free on a day when MTV would have surely picked up the tab.

What you do when you don't want people to know that your mom is Farrah Abraham...
What you do when you don’t want people to know that your mom is Farrah Abraham…

We then check in with Farrah, who is heading to Nevada to promote her mother/daughter beauty line. (As you do.) For this business trip, Farrah’s decided to bring Sophia, as well as her mom Debra, who will be there to watch Sophia, take some verbal abuse and provide an ugly cry whenever Farrah is unable to, due to her face being frozen with filler.

Farrah (frozen)Face-times her business partner, Heather, who looks like she, too, has dipped into the treasure chest of plastic surgery one too many times.

Sophia (who is wearing a “Team Farrah” T-shirt, as you do) wants to Facetime as well, and keeps slapping her mom to get in front of the camera. Farrah discusses various beauty products with Heather, while Sophia rips apart some sort of tissue paper face.

Let's hope that's one of Farrah's romance novels that Sophia is ripping up...
Let’s hope that’s one of Farrah’s romance novels that Sophia is ripping up…

During the conversation, Heather invites Farrah to go to a party in the Hamptons with her. Farrah eagerly accepts and we watch Sophia’s face fall. She knows she’s getting the boot once again so Mommy can go to “work.” Sophia shoots Heather a devilish look before Farrah turns the Facetime off.

Finally, we check in with Maci, who is preparing to head to Las Vegas with Taylor and her friends. Before she goes, however, she spends some time alone with Bentley.

"Hey Bentley, you got time to go over those hedge funds you were talking about before?"
“Hey Bentley, you got time to go over those hedge funds you were talking about before?”

Let’s stop right here: Aren’t the ‘Teen Mom’ kids all about the same age? Why is it that Sophia is still ripping up tissue paper and speaking like a three-year-old, while Bentley acts like a full-grown adult with a 401k and a sensible insurance plan?!

Meanwhile, Taylor is getting his mane all cleaned up for the trip. He doesn’t go to Jenny Jones, however. Instead, he visits his barber, CT, who has to pretend that he’s anxious to know when Taylor is going to propose to Maci. (The MTV people must have told him that if he asks the questions they want him to ask, they’ll take his “demo tape” to the execs at the network or something. Because, you know CT the Barber has a demo tape. For sure.)

Anyway, Taylor gives what is probably the best answer ever. He tells CT that he’s planning to propose at the end of this season of ‘Teen Mom’ so that it scores him another season on the air.

“I’m a business man!” Taylor says.

He’s a smart guy, that Taylor. He knows that if Farrah doesn’t start letting people film her having sex again, or if Amber doesn’t start throwing TVs again, MTV will cancel this show. We need this proposal to keep ‘Teen Mom’ going!

Back in Indiana, it’s cookout time for Matt and Amber. Never one to pass up free food, Cousin Krystle makes her first appearance this season. As the gals are chatting, Matt is grilling up Walmart’s finest beef product.

That moment you realize you're about to marry a man who says "Yous."
That moment you realize you’re about to marry a man who says “Yous.”

“How many burgers do you’s want?” he bellows into the kitchen.

Amber says she wants one burger and you know Krystle wants to say five so she can stuff them into her purse to eat later, but she, too, states that she wants one burger.

Krystle may soon need to be mooching more food than ever before because…she’s pregnant!

Of course she is.

Krystle is about eight weeks along in her pregnancy. Amber states that she’s not even thinking about having more kids right now. She wants to wait until her custody situation with Leah is settled. After that, she plans to marry Matt (despite the fact that he says things like “you’s”) and then she’ll consider getting pregnant.

“That makes sense,” Krystle says, even though we can tell that the idea of having a kid after marriage makes no sense to her.

Here's Farrah's business partner, Heather. I guess we know whatever happened to Baby Jane...
Here’s Farrah’s business partner, Heather. I guess we now know whatever happened to Baby Jane…

Meanwhile, Farrah and her entire motley crew have just touched down in Nevada. They go into some sort of beauty product store.

“You’re going to love this place, Sophia,” Farrah says. “It’s like, baby heaven.”

Um…isn’t Sophia like six? And also, “Baby Heaven” doesn’t exactly sound like a place I want to go…just sayin’…

Farrah has a fun-filled day planned for Sophia. She’s basically going to force the kid into posing for pictures for her beauty product line, and act like she’s having a healthy, well-balanced childhood.

Shouldn't she be listening to Nickelback in her dorm room right about now?
Shouldn’t she be listening to Nickelback in her dorm room right about now?

Also…Debra has a side braid for this scene. I’m 100 percent convinced that Butch’s braid was somehow dyed blond and shipped to Nevada so that Debra could wear it during this scene. It’s nice to see things being upcycled though, no?

Also…why is Debra dressed like a sorority girl from 2001?

Farrah gets Sophia all dolled up, but Sophia’s having none of it. She clearly hates participating in this fakery as much as we hate watching her participate.

She is angry that she’s being forced to do this crap, so she decides to be a pain in Farrah’s backdoor. She refuses to smile and keeps making horrible faces at the camera. (These are faces that will haunt my nightmares forever, by the way.)

Of course, Farrah is angry that her daughter isn’t behaving the way she needs her to. Dance, monkey, dance!

This was the actual face Sophia was making during Farrah's underwear photoshoot.
This was the actual face Sophia was making during Farrah’s underwear photoshoot.

Later, Farrah strips down to her skivvies to hold a cupcake and pose for photos. Sophia seems horrified that her mom is essentially doing softcore cupcake p*rn right in front of her, and keeps making disgusted faces. We feel ya, Soph!

After finishing the photo shoot, Farrah gets some bad news from her business partner Heather. Apparently, the organizers of that “super exclusive” White Party in the Hamptons aren’t thrilled about having Farrah (and her backdoor) at their fancy party. She’s been told not to come because she’s “not the right fit for the party.”

Basically, they don’t want Farrah showing up in assless chaps, touting her mother and reality TV crew behind her.

Heather says that the organizers don’t want any “controversial celebs” at their special party, and Farrah is angry. Debra is upset, too. She’s probably already purchased some skintight white leather pants for the occasion!

Farrah insists that the reason people think she’s trashy is because she’s on ‘Teen Mom.’ Surely, it has nothing to do with her being a generally terrible person, threatening to kill people on Celebrity Big Brother, and, of course, having James Deen basically rearrange her backdoor on camera.

Debra dares to bring up “the sex tape thing” and she is promptly told off by Farrah.

"You know what goes really well with beer, Taylor? An engagement ring!"
“You know what goes really well with beer, Taylor? An engagement ring!”

Over in Tennessee, Maci is nervous to leave Baby Jayde for a weekend in Vegas, but is excited for her vacation time.

“I’m going to be very intoxicated,” she tells Taylor, who isn’t even waiting to touch down in Sin City. He’s already chugging beer right there in the living room!

The next day, Maci, Taylor and their friends touch down in Las Vegas. They are legit being driven around by the same lady who drove Farrah in the last scene. Pretty soon they’re going to have to start putting the driver lady’s name on one of those torn piece of paper thingies.

"They're soooo gentlemanly as they put dollar bills in your G-string!"
“They’re soooo gentlemanly as they put dollar bills in your G-string!”

In Michigan, Catelynn’s hanging out with Tyler’s sister, Amber. Catelynn is discussing Tyler’s bachelor party, and keeps saying that Tyler’s going to a “gentleman’s club.” I think it makes her feel better to picture Tyler and Butch and the gang all dressed in suits, drinking expensive cognac and talking about stock options. In reality, of course, we know that Ty’s going to be slugging back cheap tequila while a stripper named “Cherry” booty-claps in his face.

But whatever gets you through the night, Cate…

Tyler’s sister, however, decides to burst Cate’s “gentleman’s club” bubble by telling her that the club that the guys are going to is a real skank pit. Apparently, all the strippers gather ’round the bachelor and dance for him, and some of them will put their stripper paws all over him. How does Amber know this, you ask? Because she used to work in that strip club.

Of course she did!

In Indiana, Amber and Matt arrive at Casa de Gary to pick up Leah. They go to a park and Leah is struggling to run around the jungle gym because she’s wearing some sort of little girl heels. Later, their playtime is interrupted by a nosy little girl who asks Leah for her name. The girl instantly recognizes them as the gang from ‘Teen Mom.’

That little girl's trying to decide if she should create an IMDB page for herself after this appearance...
That little girl’s trying to decide if she should create an IMDB page for herself after this appearance…

This little girl looked to be about 10. Why the hell does she know what ‘Teen Mom’ is?

‘Merica!

Amber and Matt leave Leah alone so she can play and “be normal” with the other kids. Um…to achieve that, you’ll probably want to eliminate the huge camera crew following her around the jungle gym. Just sayin’….

Meanwhile, it’s finally time for Catelynn and Tyler’s bachelor/bachelorette party. Their friends have pulled out all the stops– they’ve gotten name brand liquor and have busted out the selfie sticks because things are about to get craaaaazy!

"This will be great...really. I'm so excited about all your lap dances."
“This will be great…really. I’m so excited about all your lap dances.”

April and Butch see each other at the party and manage not to hit each other/tackle each other in a fit of unbridled passion.

Cate and Ty have a “private” conversation in which Catelynn demands that Tyler doesn’t cheat on her. The guys all head out in a giant tour bus and Cate just sadly waves goodbye. She’s trying her best to be a good sport about everything, but we all know she’s miserable.

Anyway, Tyler is in disbelief that Butch is able to be on a party bus full of booze and not get completely trashed. Butch is sitting there in his suit and hat, looking like a guy that would be hanging out at the kind of “gentleman’s club” that Catelynn was talking about. He’s chugging water and just chilling. It’s pretty impressive, actually…

The bus arrives at the strip club and luckily, Tyler’s sister isn’t working that night. Tyler (and a few of his toothless friends) are grunting and giggling while watching women spin around the poles. Butch, however, isn’t even playing. He’s ready to get his groove on in the VIP room. (Hey– the man’s been in prison for four years, and before that he was boning a drunken April. He is in desperate need of sexy time.)

"Nothing's getting put in here tonight! Sorry buddy!"
“Nothing’s getting put in here tonight! Sorry buddy!”

Unfortunately, though, no one explained to Butch that the “ladies” are only dancers and do not have sex with clients. (At least, not on camera while MTV is filming for a reality show…) Butch is having a classy conversation with one of the young ladies. He tells her that he is fresh out of the pen and then asks if she will pleasure him orally.

No seriously. That happened. I can’t even make this stuff up!

"This is great...really...just awesome..."
“This is great…really…just awesome…”

Catelynn, too, is having a wild night out with her girlfriends…and her mother…and her mother-in-law…and her camera crew. Now, normally, you wouldn’t want your mother to go to your bachelorette party. However, we all know that April could out-party all of these biotches with one hand cuffed behind her back.

Cate’s having a great time in ‘da club’…but she soon tells her friends that she’s eager to meet up with Tyler and sit on his lap…

Unfortunately, Tyler’s lap is already, um, occupied by one of Detroit’s finest strippers.

Catelynn’s nervous to go to the “gentleman’s club” because she doesn’t want to see a girl dancing on Tyler, so Tyler’s mom offers to go in there with Cate to pick up Tyler.

Seriously...why is Tyler getting a lap dance from Justin Bieber?
Seriously…why is Tyler getting a lap dance from Justin Bieber?

Nothing says a good time like having your crying fiance and your mother show up to fetch you out of the champagne room. Good Lord, ladies. Let the man have his party!

The girls arrive to the strip club, and Cate tells the security guard that she’s “just here to get my man!” She finds Tyler and he gives her a hug. He’s surely coated with Victoria’s Secret glitter body spray that’s been left on him by one of the young “ladies” he was hanging out with. Catelynn looks less than thrilled as Ty mauls her and takes her down to the couches. Ew.

Then, it gets even weirder. The stripper who was just grinding on Tyler tells Cate and Ty how “perfect” they are and how they’re so much better than Farrah.

Seriously…WTF am I watching?

Also, does anyone else think it’s creepy that Butch and Tyler went to the strip club that their family member, Amber, used to work at?! Or is it just me?

"I can't believe I'm still working this crappy job. I should have went to college."
“I can’t believe I’m still working this crappy job. I should have went to college.”

We check back in with Farrah, who is going to the White Party in the Hamptons, despite the fact that she knows she’s not wanted there. She tells Debra that she’s going anyway and is determined to be “the star of the party.”

“I’m going to show them that they need to grow up,” Farrah says. “They shouldn’t run White Parties if they don’t know how to be upscale and classy.”

I’m sorry…what?!

Farrah then tells Producer Heather and Debra that they are not to bring up her “sex tape” again, and that the only reason people dislike her is because she is on ‘Teen Mom.’ She says that she’s not allowed to go to the White Party because she does things like give her daughter $600 for losing a tooth.

Um…then how about not giving your daughter $600? Or, if you feel like you have to do that, don’t put it on social media?!

Does anyone else find it hilarious that Debra was on the toilet for this conversation?
Does anyone else find it hilarious that Debra was on the toilet for this conversation?

Debra starts screaming that Farrah has “changed the world” as Farrah storms out of the room. Producer Heather runs to apologize to Farrah. Sophia, meanwhile, is busy beating her grandmother with a beach ball.

Seriously, why aren’t the walls of that room padded? These people are beyond crazy.

Farrah tells us that she “deserves to be at the Hamptons party” because she “lives that life” and “keeps it classy.and top-notch.” She also insists that she’s a “great, fun, happy person.”

That joke just kind of writes itself, doesn’t it?

Farrah arrives in the Hamptons, along with her manager Johnny and her mom. They go into the party and four minutes later are escorted out. It’s cringeworthy. (Click here to read The Ashley‘s story from the event.)

"Whatever, peasants!"
“Whatever, peasants!”

Farrah is clearly embarrassed, so she starts spouting angry phrases about how she’s so much better than everyone. Debra is embarrassed too. She is all dressed up with nowhere to go.

“God will handle them!” Debra yells.

Um…I think God will take a raincheck on this one, guys. Let’s hope He/She has more important things to do than punish people for not letting a teen mom into their party.

“I’m happy that I’m so damn fabulous that no one knows what to do!” Farrah exclaims.

Yes they do….they know they don’t want you at their party.

Meanwhile, in Las Vegas, Maci, Taylor and their friends are cheering because they have no kids to watch. Naturally, all the friends want to talk about is Maci and Taylor getting married. Maci starts bringing up how people think Taylor is a crapnugget because he won’t propose to her. It’s incredibly awkward as Maci goes on and on about how her friends and family are starting to dislike Taylor because he won’t marry Maci.

How Taylor copes with the constant badgering to propose to Maci...
How Taylor copes with the constant badgering to propose to Maci…

Taylor looks like he’d rather be anywhere else but here, and his friends start apologizing for falling for the producer’s trap and bringing up the marriage topic. Maci starts screaming, “We can just end it! Let’s just end it!”

Well, if that doesn’t make Taylor want to propose, I don’t know what will!

The next day, Maci and Taylor go to a festival, chug beer and watch some bands play.

"Can I go to the White Party?"
“So…can I go to the White Party?”

Next week, Amber deals with her family members who don’t like Matt, and Maci deals with Ryan being a general turd.

To read The Ashley’s previous ‘Teen Mom OG’ episode recap, click here!

(Photos: MTV)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

71 Comments

  1. Of COURSE Butch wasn’t drinking during the bachelor party! He made it very clear that he “ain’t no juicehead” during that one intake interview. He also made sure the guy understood that he used cocaine, not crack, but cocaine; although that wasn’t quite as funny, somehow.


    1. Crack is for boorish drug users that have no respect for drugs. Sophisticated drug users snort cocaine and keep it classy. Farrah admitting her cocaine snorting in her book is just further proof of the class act that she is! Although I do hope she has stopped. She doesn’t have much of a nasal septum left after her nose job


  2. Why wasn’t an after shot of Butch fresh out of Sonya’s provided?! Seriously, Ashley, I expect better! 🙂


  3. Holy shit Butch DOES look like Dorothy, and The Swan was the BEST!

    The Ashley please never stop with these recaps! i cant endure the show but live for these articles!!


    1. Right? Upon reading that, I turned to my left to look at the Golden Girls poster that’s on my office wall (no, seriously). The resemblance is uncanny. I always knew I loved Butch. Now I totally know why. If Butch threw a party and invited everyone he knew, he would see the biggest gift would be from me… and the card attached would say, ‘ Thank you for being a friend.’


  4. To make this show more interesting I think it needs a drinking game lol
    1. Every time Sophia makes a terrifying face
    2. Every time they show Amber under a blanket in the middle of the day
    3. Every time Farrah’s mother refers to someone as baby, two drinks for baby goo
    4. Ryan spits
    5. Cousin Krystal shows up for a free mtv meal
    6. Butch and April are awkwardly in the same room


    1. Perhaps the list should be a little shorter. Your liver would explode long before you are able to even finish one episode.


  5. By the way these kids are growing and maturing, you can see how they’re being raised. Theres a HUGE difference between Sophia, Benny, and Leah. These kids are their parents…and imma leave it at that


    1. It’s so clear how everyone is being raised! Bentley is very smart but still clearly a happy CHILD. Leah seems a little wise beyond her years like she’s seen a lot and had to grow up a little faster. Sophia definitely has a very immature personality and is totally out of control! She’s always hitting and yelling at everyone. It’s really sad! I had always thought she would be better off with Debra just because Farrah is a total wacko but Deb seems to be holding on a little too tight to the Farrah gravy train to raise a child


      1. Last nights episode was VERY telling. Sophia had the dialect of a 3 year old. I was horrified and it was super cringe worthy to watch. The whole “daddy Derek” thing, and “I want a daddy!” and “I want to die!”…like oh my God. Absolutely NO discipline, and no maturity. I do understand that she’s a little girl but for a 6/7 year old she seems to have the intelligence of a 2/3 year old. Sophia never has play dates with other kids like Benny or Leah, and I don’t believe there is much interaction between her and kids her age, hence her behavior. You can’t blame anyone but her mother for that. It’s disgusting, and this little girl doesn’t stand a chance at having a normal healthy up bringing. SUPER SAD!! Bentley is super mature, he could probably hold a conversation with anyone, and Leah is pretty smart as well, you can tell by the way she manipulates her parents lol. But that Sophia…lets pray for her.


        1. She probably wants a daddy in hopes he’ll take her away from the loony bin she’s living in! Also did you realize that even though the title here says everyone parties but Farrah she had less clothing on than everyone else…including the strippers… In front of her daughter!


          1. Oh yea. Sophia is for sure looking for someone to save her. She’s so desperate that she asked why Simon can’t be her daddy, and Simon doesn’t even like her! Sophia is just in a super bad situation that she didn’t even sign up for, she was born into it. Her mother is prancing around in her underwear taking seductive pictures, she brought Sophia to a topless beach, AND shes always forcing Sophia to pretend that they’re this happy family and Farrah is mom of the year. If Farrah were smart, she would get Sophia into some sort of therapy now before its too late, but we all know Farrah is not smart.


          2. As a mother of two sons close to Sophia’s age, I am more and more disturbed by her behavior. Sophia was still in the womb when her father died! Him dying should NOT be apart of her daily life or thoughts. Farrah seems to enjoy dragging the little girl out to a cemetery, trying to make her express emotions (she probably doesn’t have or understand yet0, and grieve for a person she never knew. I think it is creepy and deranged how she talks to Sophia about her father while crying and carrying on. Once Sophia is older and can grasp the magnitude of what a loss she has had in her life, that would be the time to take her to the cemetery and grieve/cry with her. NOT trying to force her to grieve and cry before she is ready. I think the whole situation makes Sophia uncomfortable and she doesn’t know how to act. A lot of the behaviors I have seen Sophia displaying remind me of a insecure child, that never knows where they stand from one day to the next. Farrah is sharp, cold, and callous. As fast as she turns on her parents, what makes us think she doesn’t do this to Sophia behind closed doors? I think Sophia acts so young and immature because she doesn’t know how else to act and figures that if she seems “young and innocent” Farrah will lay off of her. Farrah has always LOVED baby talking to her, so that is probably Sophia’s safe place.


    2. My brain just didn’t, like, hasn’t been processing that she is not a different age. It just automatically assumes she is 2 or 3 because she can’t speak in sentences and she’s out of control. Then I realize she was on the same Teen Mom that the other girls were… mind blown every time I realize that. I was freaked out when she started screaming “I WANT TO DIE! DADDY DADDY DADDY!” Farrah is not showing her how to live a healthy lifestyle. They’re all in need of intensive therapy at this point!


      1. Exactly. As soon as I read this recap and saw that the Ashley said that Bentley and Sophia were the same age, I was like she’s right! They are! Sophia still speaks like a toddler, doesn’t use full sentences, she hits, she’s very disobedient, and she doesn’t have respect for authority (I wonder where she got that from). Unless Farrah starts doing something to correct her bad behavior, Sophia is going to be the delusional outcast in school that thinks everyone is jealous of her when in actuality shes just crazy. But it’s obvious that Farrah believes there is nothing wrong with the way Sophia is growing and developing because she still uses a baby voice to talk to her and still speaks to Sophia like she’s 2. Plus her and Debbie still refer to her as a baby (goo). It’s really very sad.


  6. Maci and Taylor can’t go one scene without putting booze down their gullets. Suprise suprise start of this episode tonight they are boozing it up again.


  7. Caitlyn is SUPER insecure. She’s worried about Tyler hooking up with some strippers. Her being that jealous over THAT is kinda telling of what kind of guy he could be. And Farrah…Farrah, Farrah, Farrah….all imma say is she “keeps is classy” LOL! did anyone notice how she dropped Kim K’s name? I’ve known from the very beginning this idiot truly thought that making a porno was gonna catapult her into A-list reality tv celebrity-dumb like the Kardashians and Paris Hilton. Farrah is such a jackass…pun intended.


    1. I don’t think Catelynn’s insecurity is necessarily a reflection of Tyler. Sometimes people just really struggle with their self-esteem. I have some major self-esteem issues. I’m ashamed to admit that I would be thinking the same things if my boyfriend of several years was at a strip club getting lap dances. I don’t get jealous, it’s more I start thinking to myself, “She is so much prettier than me. Why would he want to be with me? I’m so ugly. There are so many other girls that are actually pretty.” I know my boyfriend loves me, wants to be with me, and would never cheat on me, but that doesn’t stop those thoughts. It’s just completely irrational and I know that. I know that my insecurities are my issues, not my boyfriend’s. Despite that, he has always tried his best to help me and support me. He has stayed by my side while I get counseling, even though my insecurities can be very hard for him to deal with


  8. I secretly hate that I watch this manufactured drama.

    I’m glad friends (what I’m hoping are legit friends) of Cait and Tyler showed up for their parties. It looked like they both had fun and I think it was cute how Tyler hugged Cait as soon as he saw her. I can understand how it would be awkward to see your significant other getting a lap dance – while it can be weird, I thought that Tyler’s mom stepping up shows that she loves Cait.

    WTF is wrong with Farrah?! There was nothing redeeming about her in this episode. She was rude, selfish, delusional and in the end had people apologizing to her! She went on a rant on twitter after the show about how she is showing Sophia that she was standing up to bullies.. people are not bullies for saying they do not want you to attend their party when you were not invited in the first place. If they wanted you there, they would have invited you. It’s not like she knew the hosts of the event!! She made it publicly about her – and the whole shit about Kim Kadarsdian (sp?!) having a sex tape.. well hers was a sex tape, not a professionally filmed porn with a porn star!

    Maci has always been marriage obsessed – its been documented since 16 and pregnant. I don’t know what she thinks marriage is going to bring her.. it doesn’t make everything perfect.. Lets look at Leah!!

    I think Gary is an ass. I don’t know what he does for a living but he is no saint.


    1. Amen! Farrah has tried to sell this as a sex tape…It is a professionally filmed porn with a well known porn star. I think the fact that they released two of them proves that this is not a sex tape!!! WTF is wrong with her?!? She is not classy or fun! She is seriously delusional.


      1. That’s a good point! I know both tapes were recorded in one go, but were they both from the footage that was supposedly “leaked”? If not then how did half the footage happen to get held back when it was “leaked” against Farrah’s wishes?


        1. @ Ruth C, what are you talking about??? It was not leaked, it was a professionally made porn tape with James Deen. Google James Deen talking about the tape with Farrah on Youtube, that’s all you have to see to know about the porn film.


          1. She put leaked in quotes, I don’t think she actually thinks it was leaked. I don’t think ANYBODY actually thinks it was leaked.


          2. Ruby is right, I don’t believe it was leaked. As far as I know Farrah has stuck to that story though, she claims she only sold it because it was already publically available against her wishes so she thought she might as well profit… I never believed her, but TVAddict’s comment made me realise that if only half the footage was available before Farrah officially sold it then that is more evidence that she lied.


      2. Remember when Farrah tried to get James Deen to go along with the whole thing, and wanted him to pretend to be her boyfriend, and he was like NO. lol. Girl is so diluted. Farrah gets soooooo defensive when people bring up her sex tape. She swore up and down that it “leaked”. Like cmon. It was shot professionally and you signed a contract. Vivid always offers deals to C-listers to make porn’s all the time, Farrah is just the dummy that fell for it thinking that it was going to make her super famous like Kim K, but it backfired on her and now she’s getting kicked out of all white Hampton’s parties, but she “keeps it classy” LOL!


  9. “Why is it that Sophia is still ripping up tissue paper and speaking like a three-year-old, while Bentley acts like a full-grown adult with a 401k and a sensible insurance plan?!”

    The simple answer to that is that Sophia has a mother that is too busy selling her lady parts and getting lip injections to teach her daughter anything and has a grandma that still communicates through baby talk. Baby Goo!!!


        1. I think she is calling the 6 year old “Baby Goo”
          That’s her “pet” name for the kid.
          Why not the 6 year old talks & asks like a baby


    1. Not to be gross but isn’t baby goo the batter that helps make babies? Like the stuff a man would contribute to the making of a baby? I’m just saying.


      1. Lol Yes, now that I think of it. That’s sounds logical. Gross but logical. Debra should reconsider that pet name.


  10. Clearly Farrah is doing all this stuff to get a rise out of us and get her name out there–she doesn’t care what her name is associated with (except for Teen Mom apparently but I think that’s just a dig at the producers to punish them for trying to kick her out)-if it gets her name out there-she will do it.


    1. Ugh…I was trying to write : Farrah is trying hard to get her own reality show! Sad she doesn’t have friends and treats Sophia like her friend. Poor girl is homeschooled? CPS!!!!come on!!


  11. Farrah is absolutely crazy, her mother is crazy, and they are turning Sophia crazy too. And Maci is coming off sooo desperate. He’s not gonna wanna propose if you keep pressuring him! OMG


  12. I might have to put self out of misery with TM OG. Too boring and sad. I am sad that I perk up for Farrah but it is mostly anger and fear for Sophia. And I am fascinated by how far off the rails Farrah is, almost consistently!


  13. I sometimes think that Farrah is reading from a script, she must be. It can’t be real what she says, her family is so weird. Everyone of these women are losers, they are such disappointments, and Amber seems like she’s doing drugs again, and Maci needs some 12 step meetings to attend.


    1. I have to disagree because I don’t see how Maci is a disappointment. As noted, she has (and is) raising bright and happy children. I think Tyler *should* marry her – and am happy to hear that he has, now. Just my opinion. Also, I think Cait is doing remarkably well, considering the childhood she must have had (Tyler, too).


  14. If your going to give an insane amount of money to your daughter for her tooth that’s your business but I feel bad that she admitted that in front of Sophia. she just spoiled the tooth-fairy for her.


  15. The most delusional, pathetic statement I’ve ever heard: “Your work on the show has changed the world, Farrah.” Wow. Could any human really believe that or is Debra so desperate to hang on to Farrah that she will literally say anything?


    1. This statement seals the deal that Debra (like Dawn, Leah’s mom) is an enabler. Debra needs her ” baby girl” to stay happy and rich in order to pay for her plastic surgery treatments.

      I can’t imagine what it would be like to have a mother who worships you (for your fame, money, happiness) so much that they will turn a blind eye towards your self destruction. That’s the epitome of crappy parenting.


    2. It HAS changed the world. Might not be a positive change, but it’s a change. I never thought I’d live to see the day that the meanings of “classy” and “top-notch” were changed to encompass someone like Farrah.


  16. I watch to quell the boredom during the Teen Mom 2 off season. Poor Maci. She has been itching for a proposal so long, she comes off as desperate. She is a great girl, and Taylor should be begging to marry her. I’m hoping she dumps him and goes for someone who really appreciates her.

    After this snoozefest, I am desperate for updates on the TM2 trainwrecks. Who knocked up Leah this week and when is she going back to “therapy.”


  17. classy people know where they aren’t wanted and don’t crash parties farrah. as if your awesome personality would’ve won them over lmao, all you would’ve done is insult anyone who dared approach. sophia’s just pitiful smh.


  18. Sophia really gives me the creeps,i can’t help it,and i now it is a child, but the way she looks…brrrr.I am watching the show but you are right there is not so much new,and it is a little bit boring.Especially when i see Amber and Matt i felt almost a sleep.


  19. When Matt says he has had that tattoo “forever”, he means “Since she was on 16 and Pregnant and I was a random stalker”.


  20. Who else isn’t watching? 15 minutes into the first episode I turned it off, I was bored out of my mind. These girls are so unappealing.


    1. I’m itching for one of them to throw a punch or get arrested. I watch for Butch. And,I missed the part where he asked the stripper for oral. Now I have to rewatch the snoozefest.

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