‘Teen Mom 2’ Season 7 Episode 8 Recap: Everyone Wants Custody (and Camera Time)

"I demand full custody of Karl...er, I mean Kaiser!"
“I demand full custody of Karl…er, I mean Kaiser!”

It’s Mother’s Day, and what better way to celebrate than to check in with some of our favorite not-so-teen moms, the gang from Teen Mom 2!? There really is no better example of parenting than watching Leah let her youngins run loose while she slumbers, or seeing Jenelle use her baby as a pawn in her custody/legal battle.

Unfortunately, this episode was a complete snoozefest, but The Ashley will do her best to make it sound halfway amusing. Don’t expect any ‘dramastic’ miracles or anything, though.

"I hope ya find a great wedding venue, dontcha know!"
“I hope ya find a great wedding venue, dontcha know!”

We kick off in South Dakota, where Chelsea is preparing to go look at venues to hold her upcoming wedding to Cole. Aubree will not be going along, so Chelsea’s mom, South Dee-ko-tah Mary will be watching her while Chelsea’s away.

In Delaware, Kail is adjusting to being sans-Javi, who left for deployment the week before. Thanks to The Internets and whatnot, Javi is still able to beam himself into the living room every night to talk to Kail and the kids.

Sterling makes her first appearance this season (that’s not via-cracked iPhone), to talk to Kail about how much she’s missing Javi…which isn’t much. Isaac, however, is missing Javi big time, and is having a hard time adjusting to him being gone.

"Anything that gets Kail off my sweatpants-covered ass for awhile is OK by me!"
“Anything that gets Kail off my sweatpants-covered ass for awhile is OK by me!”

Meanwhile, Jo has actually put on real pants to take Vee and their baby ViVi out to dinner. Jo says that he can’t believe it’s been four months since Vivi “popped out.”

Ew…must we picture the baby literally popping out of Vee’s nether regions? That’s a frightening visual that won’t be leaving my head anytime soon. Thanks, Jo.

Jo tells Vee that, while Javi being deployed is making Isaac sad, it has given Kail something else to worry about besides what kind of dirty pants Jo wears on Sundays.

"Javi ain't even gonna be gone for that long. Why she's even trippin'?"
“Javi ain’t even gonna been gone for that long. Why she’s trippin’?”

Vee discusses how hard it is for Isaac to be at Kail’s now that Javi is gone.

“When he’s ‘wit’ us, he’s not thinking about it but when he’s over ‘der he’s probably reminded Javi’s not ‘der,” she says.

Vee obviously went to the same school as Nessa, that host of the After Shows that MTV keeps trying to make “happen.”

Over in Carolina, Jenelle is feeling all proud of herself because she allowed her former soulmate, The Nathan, to see his son for a whole hour recently. (No doubt she headed down to the Party City to see if they had some sort of “World’s Best Co-Parent” ribbon that she could buy herself and wear in Instagram photos that day.)

Imagine having THIS staring at you while you eat pizza with your kid...
Imagine having THIS staring at you while you eat pizza with your kid…

Unfortunately for The Nathan, his time at Chuck E. Cheese’s with his son was somewhat ruined because Jenelle’s current soulmate, Lurch, was sent along to make sure Nathan didn’t try to smuggle Kaiser out of the place in a pizza box, or something. Imagine trying to enjoy the singing rat show with your kid while Lurch just stared at you with a glazed-over look on his face, pizza sauce dripping from the corner of his lip.

"So long, troglodytes! I'm outta here! Chelsea, I'm coming to live with you!"
“So long, troglodytes! I’m outta here! Chelsea, I’m coming to live with you!”

Jenelle is really feeling like Parent of the Year the next day because Barb allowed her a few hours with her son, Jace. Poor Kaiser is sitting in some sort of car thing, which Jace pushes down a dangerous-looking slide. It’s literally a co-pay waiting to happen.

Kaiser looks disappointed to find out that the car is not actually equipped to allow him to motor away from these crapnozzles and find a more stable living environment. Jace gives the kid a knowing look, almost as if to say, “I tried to escape too, don’t even bother.”

"I mean, I don't care about Nathan at all but...did he look good? How did he smell? Did he mention me?"
“I mean, I don’t care about Nathan at all but…did he look good? How did he smell? Did he mention me?”

Meanwhile, Jenelle is pumping Lurch for info on Nathan (whom she is obviously so totally over, dude). Lurch reports that Nathan played with Kaiser and that he talked about himself a lot.

Lurch tells Jenelle that she shouldn’t have to go through the “anxiety” of seeing Nathan, after what he’s put her through.

Um…she’s the knucklehead who chose to get knocked up by some dude she had only known a few months, despite the fact that together they had a combined IQ of 12.

Lurch volunteers to be the go-between between Jenelle and Nathan, because he feels it’s his job to be the “muscle” who watches over Jenelle’s feelings.

"Oh dingdang it! I done forgot to take my big ol' box of Sour Patches outta the car! Now the dern chair ain't gonna fit, y'all!"
“Oh dingdang it! I done forgot to take my big ol’ box of Sour Patches outta the car! Now the dern chair ain’t gonna fit, y’all!”

Finally, we see what (or who) Leah’s been doing since we last saw her. Apparently, Ali’s wheelchair, which has been missing in action for months, has finally been fixed. (I guess ol’ Mama Dawn finally had a chance to “set down” with her screwdriver and fix the goshdern thing!)

Leah loads it up into her car.  (Somewhere in a nearby field is all of the crap that Leah had to throw out of her car to make room for the chair.)

"All y'all kids try not to run over no cats in that chair this time, ya hear!?"
“All y’all kids try not to run over no cats in that chair this time, ya hear!?”

Leah and her sister Victoria talk about how hard life for Ali has been without the wheelchair, so it’s no surprise that everyone in the house– Ali, the rest of the youngins, the feral cats, etc.– are thrilled to see the wheelchair arrive. Ali tries out the chair and is excited to be able to have more mobility.

This place scares me.
This place scares me.

In South Dakota, Chelsea, Cole, Other Chelsey and Logyn the wedding planner head out on the road. They finally arrive at a reception hall, which kind of looks like Leah’s house during Christmas time. There are weird angel statues thrown on the porch, and lots of cheap Christmas lights wrapped around everything. All they need is Mama Dawn sitting on a chair out front, pluckin’ a banjo and it’d be the perfect site of the Messer Family Christmas!

The owner takes them out back to a clearing in the trees, which is one of the places that Chelsea and Cole could get hitched. It’s nice enough (although it still looks like someone’s back yard), so they go check out the reception area. Chelsea and Cole take a spin around the dance floor, while the producers surely sneak off to see if there are any places around the room where they can sneak hidden cameras in to secretly film the wedding for ‘Teen Mom 2.’

"I'd be willing to hide a camera on my no-no's to film her wedding for the right price!"
“I’d be willing to hide a camera on my no-nos to film her wedding for the right price!”

Think of the ratings they’re going to miss because their “bitch of a star” Chelsea won’t let them film her big day! Their heads must be exploding! The Ashley, who is a self-proclaimed TeenMomologist, predicts that the Chelsea/Cole wedding special would have been the highest-rated episode of the show ever! I’m sure Leah will allow MTV to film her next two weddings, but it’s just not the same!

"Yeah, that's, like, totally normal, Jenelle. Really...you're just the pillar of maturity."
“Yeah, that’s, like, totally normal, Jenelle. Really…you’re just the pillar of maturity.”

In North Carolina, Barb has fetched Jace so Jenelle can go over and chat with her (way too normal-looking) friend Jamie. Jenelle brags that she sprung Lurch on Nathan at the last minute before his visit with Kaiser, and Jenelle’s friend has to try to pretend that what Jenelle has said doesn’t make her sound batsh*t crazy.

Jenelle is still hoping that Nathan’s girlfriend drops the assault charges against her. She says that if Nathan’s new squeeze doesn’t drop the charges, she plans to make the custody battle as hard as possible on Nathan. That’s healthy.

Meanwhile, Nathan is going to see a lawyer to talk about getting custody of Kaiser (the child, not the German emperor).  Nate squeezes into the doorway (while also squeezing into a much-too-tight sleeved shirt).

That face you make when your client wants custody of a kid but doesn't even know how old his son is...
That face you make when your client wants custody of his son but doesn’t even know how old the kid is…

The lawyer, Megan, asks Nate how old Kaiser is, and Nathan has trouble remembering, so he gives her a ballpark figure. He’s pretty sure that Kaiser is somewhere between eight months and 18 years. (Surely Nathan has Kaiser’s 18th birthday already marked off and circled on his calendar. That’s the day that he will no longer have to deal with Jenelle and what will certainly be her 109th fiance ever again.)

"I'm looking to make a dramastic change in the custody of Kevin...er, Kaiser."
“I’m looking to make a dramastic change in the custody of Kevin…er, Kaiser.”

Nathan tells the lawyer that he doesn’t have Jenelle’s phone number, so he has no idea how to get in touch with her if he wants to check to make sure his son is still alive. He then regales the lawyer with the tale of how Lurch was hovering over him while he tried to play skeeball with his son over at the Chuck E. Cheese’s.

“What a mess,” the lawyer says.

Well that basically describes this whole show, doesn’t it?

The lawyer encourages Nathan to go for full custody of Kaiser, stating that no judge would give Jenelle and her soulmate-of-the-month the ability to take Nathan’s child away from him for no reason.

Come on, bro, you're making it too easy on The Ashley with that hat...
Come on, bro, you’re making it too easy on The Ashley with that hat…

In West Virginia, Corey heads over to see his lawyer, trusty Rusty Webb. Corey’s beard is basically so big that it needs its own torn piece of paper thingy to introduce it. For this scene, Corey is sporting a hat that says “Yeti.” I mean, that joke basically writes itself, no?

Rusty tells Corey that Leah is hoping that the courts will flip the custody situation back to the way it was, and Corey says that he’s tired of dealing with Leah’s drama and the tension the court hearings have created. Corey knows that if he doesn’t give Leah what she wants, she will make his life miserable.

"Corey Tyler, you better watch out! I'm a'comin' to git those youngins!"
“Corey Tyler, you better watch out! I’m a’comin’ to git those youngins!”

Leah, meanwhile, is doing everything she can to prove how stable and improved she is. She is even brushing her hair, y’all, so we know she means business!

While Leah attempts to untangle the snarls of hair on the back of her heard, Mama Dawn rings her up. Leah asks her mother to go to the court hearing with her, but Dawn says that she can’t attend. While she won’t be there to face off with that dern Corey Tyler in person, she’ll be with Leah in spirit, screaming “MONKEY!” randomly to show support of her daughter.

Um...who are the creeps in the background?
Um…who are the creeps in the background?

Leah grabs up some coffee and some body spray (because, ya never know when you’ll meet a man and you’ll need to smell good, y’all!) and heads over to the courthouse.

Corey Tyler and Rusty Webb arrive, and Leah’s sister (who done got herself some fresh purple tips on her hair for the occasion) comes to support Leah in her quest to be able to serve her youngins Lunchables.

MTV cameras aren’t allowed in the courtroom (dang-gammit!) but Leah comes out smiling with her lawyer. We learn that Leah was given an additional day each week with the girls, in exchange for giving Corey an extra weekend with them.

"She says she's got a whole fridge full of Lunchables, but I'll believe it when I see it!"
“She says she’s got a whole fridge full of Lunchables, but I’ll believe it when I see it!”

Corey calls up his dad to let him know that he feels good about the new shared parenting plan. He admits that Leah has stepped her Lunchable game lately, but says that if she doesn’t keep it up, he’s planning to take her danggone butt back to court.

Later, Leah drops her litter off with Corey on the side of the road. They discuss how ridiculous all of the “courting” they’ve been doing is. They agree that they disagree, and Corey tells Leah that he wasn’t trying to keep the girls away from her. They agree to work together as a team. Luckily, they don’t cap off their good day in court with a quick bang in the back of Corey’s truck, for old times sake.

Me...while watching this episode...
Me…while watching this episode…

In South Dakota, Chelsea is piled under a heap of blankets and scarves as she tells Other Chelsey about her upcoming hearing with Adam. She, too, is battling for custody of her kid.

(Does anyone else feel like we’ve heard this same record over and over again? I liked it better when people were beating the BeJesus out of their friends with drumsticks and/or cheating on their husbands. This show was so much more entertaining then.)

Good news, guys: We finally found Waldo!
Good news, guys: We finally found Waldo!

Chelsea is upset that she has to think of Adam’s creepy mug during a time when she should be totally happy, planning her wedding to Cole.

Speaking of Adam and his creepy mug….Adam and his random friend are having pizza with Paislee. (Wait– where’s Justin, Adam’s trusty Skeletor-like friend? It’s been a few episodes since we’ve seen him. Did he go on vacay with the Crypt Keeper or…?)

"I'm just really focusing on my modeling career right now..."
“I’m just really focusing on my modeling career right now…”

Random Friend asks Adam the producer-required questions about Chelsea, and Adam states that Chelsea is trying to hound him now that he “has money.” Now that Adam is helping people sweat to the oldies at the gym, he’s apparently rolling in the cash.

“The judge is going to laugh at Chelsea!” Adam proclaims.

Later, Chelsea goes to the child support hearing. When she comes home, she tells her mom what happened.

“Whatdya have ta do? I don’t even know!” Mary asks.

"I'm just as tired of talking about Adam as you guys are of hearing me talking about him!"
“I’ve had it up to here with Adam and his creepy mug!”

Chelsea explains that a neutral person looked at both her and Adam’s MTV paycheck stubs and then decided how much money Adam would have to pay to help support Aubree. The person recommends Adam pay about $800 more a month than he’s currently paying.

Adam better start hawking those Jazzercise lessons!

Apparently, Adam couldn’t be bothered to show up, which didn’t surprise Chelsea.

"I still get my appearance fee if I appear on the show via Facetime, right? Right?"
“I still get my appearance fee if I appear on the show via Facetime, right? Right?”

In Delaware, it’s time for Javi to take a break from saving the world to beam himself into Kail’s living room and talk to the kids. Javi comes bearing great news this time; he tells Kail that he will be dodging ISIS terrorists when he goes out later that evening. (Perhaps he can borrow Jenelle’s drumsticks to protect himself?)

Kail tells Javi that he’s not to talk to strangers while he’s out there. (Apparently terrorists try to strike up a conversation with someone before they capture them?)

I wouldn't mind seeing an alligator on 'Teen Mom 2.' That's what this show is lacking...a good reptile. It's been missing since Kieffer left the show...
I wouldn’t mind seeing an alligator on ‘Teen Mom 2.’ That’s what this show is lacking…a good reptile. It’s been missing since Kieffer left the show…

Later that night, Kail reads the boys a weird story about how other kids’ fathers have to go overseas and avoid ISIS when they go to Middle Eastern nightclubs…or something. The book makes Isaac feel sad, which is heartbreaking. Isaac is also worried that Javi will be eaten by alligators, but Kail reassures him that Javi will not become gator chow any time soon.

"You talked to Nathan? Did he, like, mention me, dude? Did he notice my new hair extensions?"
“You talked to Nathan? Did he, like, mention me, dude? Did he notice my new hair extensions?”

In Carolina, Jenelle puts Kaiser in his crib cage so she can go call her lawyer. The lawyer tells Jenelle to focus on keeping Kaiser alive and unharmed for the time being, and not to worry about The Nathan. Lurch grunts in agreement, and tells Jenelle that Nathan recently asked to see Kaiser. She hovers over Lurch as he texts everything she tells him to text to Nathan.

"Me text Nathan. Me angry. Me go to Nathan's house."
“Me text Nathan. Me angry. Me go to Nathan’s house.”

Nathan texts Lurch and says that he has necessities for Kaiser, but he’s terrified to let Jenelle and her henchman know where the hell he lives.

CAN YOU BLAME HIM!? I could totally see Jenelle recruiting Lurch and Trashbag Tori to go stand in Nathan’s driveway and hurl a complete set of china at Nathan and Jessica.

“What if he lives in a whorehouse or somethin’?” Lurch says. “We can’t let Kaiser go over there without knowing.”

"Ya think I don't know where this is going? Soon I'll have another graaaaaandkid to take care of!"
“Ya think I don’t know where this is going? Soon I’ll have another graaaaaandkid to take care of!”

Um…we?! Lurch, you are merely a placeholder. If Jenelle found out that The Nathan wanted her back, she’d drop your oafy ass quicker than you could say “dramastically!” David is basically the equivalent of a soulmate cardboard cut-out.

Jenelle and Lurch feel proud of themselves for “standing up” to The Nathan.

Yup...this happened...
Yup…this happened…

The episode ends with everyone thinking over their court cases/lawyer visits. Oh, and Nathan gets yet another ridiculous and embarrassing haircut.

This episode sucked. MTV, do better.

To read The Ashley’s recap of the previous episode of ‘Teen Mom 2,’ click here!

(Photos: MTV)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

56 Comments

  1. Geosh dang-it, I really love these recaps.

    I was just binge-watching this season and something caught my eye: is Under Armour a secret sponsor for TM2? They all, children included, seem to be wearing it.

    Does anyone know?


  2. Gosh dang-it, I really love these recaps.

    I was just binge-watching this season and something caught my eye: is Under Armour a secret sponsor for TM2? They all, children included, seem to be wearing it.

    Does anyone know?


  3. So I realize this is going to be buried, but are Kail and Javi done? There was no mothers day mention by him to her over the weekend, and she went skydiving today saying “Some people change their hair color when they’re going through a big change in their life…. Some people go skydiving”.

    Can we at least talk about how it’s probably a thing?


    1. I wish we knew, too. I’d just like to know how the kids are doing, if they have split up. They seem like nice kids, and Isaac seems very sensitive.

      Someone on another thread asked a similar question to yours, just as politely as you did, and got downvoted like 1,000 times. I don’t know why their relationship status is some mystery we can’t dare to discuss???


      1. That’s the main question that I want to know…are Javi and Kail still together. I hope that they are because of the kids, and I hope whatever is going on they can work it out…Javi especially. He just seems like a stress case and loose cannon lately. Even his mothers day post to his mother, at the end he said “thank you for everything you do for me and the boys” it’s almost a little passive aggressive. He completely left out Kail and didn’t post anything about her for mothers day…from the outside looking in, things don’t look too great for Javi and Kail…I wonder if that Jordan rumor the Ashley posted about earlier has something to do with it? Javi already comes off as insecure, and now she has an ex popping back up outta no where looking for attention….I can’t imagine what Javi could be thinking now that hes deployed.


    2. If they are-can you imagine what that will do to Isaac? I guess it’s a good thing he’s had this deployment to help him get used to Javi not being around.


  4. Also, Other Chelsea creeps me out a little. She seems obsessed with Chelsea. Copies her hair and nose ring and glasses and is ALWAYS with her?? Isn’t her real name Belinda??


  5. This recap just made my day! Hilarious! The Nathan’s haircut picture “yep this happened ” lmao the best!


    1. I know, right? I was literally lol through the entire thing. Nathan’s picture with the tiny ponytail right at the end was the icing on the cake.


  6. Karma is biting Nathan in the ass right now. I can remember how he used to come to Janelle’s dumb ass defense all the time, no matter how wrong she was. He was always there for the drama. Nathan seems to get off to all the court and custody crap. Now look at him. Fighting this idiot just to see his son. Yes, Janelle is dead wrong for using Kaiser as a pawn (IMO neither one of them really wants to be a saddled with the poor kid) but Nathan should have known better to get this drama queen pregnant. Anyone with half a brain could see this wasn’t going to end well. Oh, wait….

    Leah is such a selfish, overgrown child. She is literally a mess, 24/7. She should have left well enough alone and let Corey keep primary custody. Leah always acts like she has something to prove instead of focusing on truly getting herself together.

    I honestly think Kailyn is only sad that Javi is gone because that means she doesn’t have anyone to yell at or blame things on. No, Javi isn’t perfect but I don’t think he deserves Kailyn’s attitude.

    If MTV would decide to let Chelsea and Cole ride off into the sunset and we never hear from them again unless it’s a “Where Are They Now” special, I don’t think anyone would care. I am glad Chelsea has found her self-perceived “happy” but her stale and painfully manufactured story line is annoying. It’s like MTV is scraping the bottom of the barrel for material for her segments. Surely Chelsea and Cole’s life can’t be this damn boring. If it is, and Cole still stays, he is duller than he looks. Seriously, does he work or have friends or do anything that is not involving a corn maze or a field or whatever other shit Chelsea makes him do? I can understand wanting to keep some things private but I wonder if Randy, urrr, I mean Chelsea has a clause in her contract that MTV can’t film her being, hell normal, out of fear that will the public a true idea of who she is. I am sure they go out with friends, drink, hang out,do something other than sitting on the sofa talking about Adam and custody.


    1. I think what you said about Jenelle’s situation is 100% accurate. Karma has hit Nathan like a ton of bricks, and it’s hit him so hard and fast that he can’t even spit out a coherent sentence. That’s what he gets for going into that relationship without pure intentions. No human being would willingly get into a relationship with Jenelle if they didn’t have ulterior motives…like being on TV, and once this buffoon got on TV he decided to bring a baby into that jacked up situation to guarantee a slot on the show for at least a few seasons…even though it’s been well documented that Jenelle is a dead beat mother. This clown probably thought he was going to get the same amount of money as the other dads. He was always the main one yapping about Jenelle filing for full custody of Jace, and put Babs through all that crap…I bet you now he’s changing his tune about Jenelle having full custody of her son(s). I can’t stand Nathan.


    2. Hey there’s nothing wrong with being boring….as long as your intended spouse is boring too. And we’ve seen Chelsea go to a bar like, what, twice? I think they’ll be fine living happily with their pig in Boringbury together.

      I’m pretty boring. My husband is boring too. Thus our marriage works.


      1. I totally meant to upvote your comment, I am so sorry! I couldn’t agree more. I’m happy that at least one of the moms is living a nice boring life. If Jenelle could just try boring for six months it would be great. However there’s no way she could last without her revolving door of soulmates, arrests, drugs, custody issues, and hair extensions.


    1. LOL i see what you did there…CHINelle haha…yea i have no idea whats up with her skin but its breaking out really bad…maybe she could hook up with pro-active? We all know how much she loves advertising for money on her IG.


      1. She is using again. Still smoking up with Tori and have heard from mutual friends she is doing more than that…. You can tell that she is stoned in the episodes.


  7. Jenelle really needs to quit hooking up with lowlifes, she needs to focus on her kids and quit worrying about having a guy in her life! I can’t believe how quick she moves guys in her house, she already missed out on Jace’s early years, now all she’s doing is using Kaiser as bait. She never ever should have gotten pregnant! Leah needs to do something with her life, quit spending it on the couch – clean your house already! She doesn’t want to do anything positive with her life, go get a job, go back to school, do SOMETHING besides laying on that couch. Chelsea and Maci are the best mothers ever, they both have so much going for them, I wish them all the best ? too bad Jenelle and Leah couldn’t learn something from them. Last, I really hope Kailyn and Javi work everything out, they are a great couple and they are great parents ?


    1. She doesn’t see any value in herself unless she has a boyfriend. If someone calls her a loser, she can always point to her “soul mate” and say “well I have a man so I must be doing something right!” Except they’re the bottom of the barrel scum that no one would ever want.


  8. When Nathan had visitation with Kaiser why didn’t he just take him? David is not a parent and it’s my understanding that since no custody order is in place that he has just as much right to Kaiser as Janelle does…no?

    I mean…there is nothing David could have done and I’m sure that if David tried to take him from Nathan it would actually be David who was kidnapping him?


    1. I didn’t even think of that….but it is Nathan we’re dealing with. He’s not the brightest. Plus with a wrap sheet as long and as violent as David’s, he was probably afraid that David was gonna fill him with upper cut…whatever that means….and we all know Nathan doesn’t need to sustain anymore head trauma.


    2. i don’t know the laws in north carolina, but that’s exactly what i said when they were all in sc! i’m from sc and my sister-in-law let her baby visit her father one weekend, and they had no custody order in place. so he calls and says he’s keeping her, take him to court. she called the cops, and sure enough, since no order was in place, she had no rights to go get her baby. she was struggling already and said as much as it hurt, he had extended family, namely a grandmother who stayed home with the baby while he worked, so she let her live there, and gets visitation. nathan didn’t know it probably (although i doubt he would’ve taken kai anyway, he doesn’t REALLY want full custody, imo), but he could’ve taken kai when he moved out and made jenelle file instead. the fact that he waited this long to try tells me he didn’t want kai full time. he’d rather bitch and moan and call jenelle and post on twitter about missing his son. for like 6 months he didn’t file!


      1. He could have filed months ago. Family court takes monthssss to get shit done, its ridiculous. Plus, I think he was gathering all he could on Jenelle, which is the smart thing to do.


  9. i can’t believe after ALL that smack adam talked, he didn’t even fucking show up! i mean, i can, i just can’t believe he thinks he can somehow make that ok. he just fucked himself and i love it, if he’d left it alone, he’d be basically off the hook for child support and wouldn’t look even dumber by showing even more how little he truly cares. leah knew 50/50 was the best thing at the time, she said herself and jeremy agreed she was struggling and it’d help alot. it was her skank mother who talked her out of it. leah’s still not mature enough to not be talked out of what she knows is best. as much as i hate jenelle, i also think nathan is about as interested in having custody of kai as adam is aubree. she’s been saying take pics of high chair etc, and u can see him overnight. he just flat refuses to give her that, to swallow his pride for his son. and why did he spend months begging jenelle and posting on twitter how she won’t answer & shit instead of going straight to a lawyer? he could’ve gotten an emergency visitation order quick enough, judges don’t play that. he just didn’t bother, he’d rather be a victim. one of the only times he had kai after they split it was for a day and he freaked cuz she wouldn’t get kai for nate’s precious gym time. can’t skip the gym one day and have a whole 24 hrs with your son. he’s a piece of shit too. and so is javi for that isis shit. that hot chick looked pretty non threatening to me. and this is random, but i gotta say, if isaac was crying over missing his mommy talking about vee, kail would freak OUT. vee’s been in isaac’s life longer than javi, it’d be just as fair. if jo’s ok with it (he says he is, but i’d bet money it stabs his heart a little every time) ok i guess, but if he ever wants to call vee mom, she best remember lol. preview of nxt week with jenelle locked in her room, the only other time that happened was when she was on heroin with keefah. is there ANYONE who doesn’t think they were doing Some type of drug in there?


  10. We saw Sterling when Kail went on a mini vacation to visit her, when she opened up about her miscarriage.
    I remember it because the rumors were swirling that Kail actually had an abortion because she was pregnant with Sterling’s husband’s baby, so I thought it was weird that (if it’s true) Sterling would be comforting Kail about the “miscarriage” on camera lol


  11. Why does it have to be a snoozefest bc people are acting civil? There’s other shows fkr fighting, mainly found in VH1. True, that there was more drama as they were younger…Chelsea doesn’t seem genuinely attracted to Cole IMO. They seem more friends then lovers so I think that will *come out* down the line…Jenelle just is learning the criminal rap sheet is real. She’s sitting her tail down bc of that, but we all know on a personal level there will be drama. That boyfriend of hers is a control freak. He feeds her ego and makes her hate her mother/ex…anyone who isn’t him. So that will show up & hopefully not in a too sad way!! Ms. Leah…she’s behaving for the time being but come on, that won’t last. Really wish that T.R. Dues was included in the episodes. That would have been interesting to see how they acted around her girls. But this show is like Teen Mom OG in the sense that some of the girls u are invested in and truly enjoy watching…other ones do add a dull factor. Chelsea & Farrah can both go really. Both of them have obvious prescripted scenes & fake drama.


  12. This episode was boring as hell, but your recaps are life – my fave ” all they need is Mama Dawn sitting on a chair out front, pluckin’ a banjo..” Dead. Literally lol’d – thank you for the continued laughs!!


  13. This episode was a total snooze fest, however, I did have one favorite part. Chelsea-Grace for THE WIN, bringing in the muscle to help push Mary’s car out of the snow in Chelsea’s driveway.


    1. Right? I can’t believe the funniest part of the episode was not included in the recap!


  14. Javi strikes again! I guess he felt that Kail wasn’t missing him enough or giving him enough attention (again), so he decided to say that he had to watch out for ISIS, the most intense terrorist group out there right now. It’s like here he goes again, trying to get a reaction out of her. As if him being deployed isn’t stressful and terrifying enough, he just had to throw that bomb in there (no pun intended). This control that he tries to have over Kail cannot be healthy for their relationship…I’m not saying that she’s an angel in any of this, because for every action there’s a reaction and there’s gotta be a reason why he’s acting out like this….but from what’s being aired Javi seems crazy.

    And I also find it funny that had Leah just agreed with Corey on 50/50 in the first place, they would’ve saved a lot of time, energy, and money. Leah kept saying that 50/50 wasn’t in the best interest of the girlses, but now it’s becoming more evident she was just using that excuse to have control over Corey…NOW all of a sudden because the court see’s it fit for 50/50, Leah is all for it and believe’s it’s in the girlses best interest. I seriously can’t with her. She never holds herself accountable for her actions.

    And I’ve gotta agree with the Ashley about the Nathan not giving out his address….God forbid Uncle Dave wack Nathan in the head and Nathan loses the few brain cells he has left.


    1. I do agree that Javi is very controlling but I do wonder if that is because he is that way or something happened for him to be this way. My ex was in the Navy and he was a lot like that too. I could be the stress of just being in the armed forces causing him to lash out. My ex was just like that too and he had no reason with me to worry. He would be fine one minute and then flip out the next over nothing. Can he even tell her where is he is an what he is doing? My ex when he would go on deployment he wasn’t allowed to tell me much of anything. Every case is different.


      1. That’s what I’m thinking…maybe he’s acting out because he didn’t want to be deployed?…maybe she did something to him off camera to make him insecure? I feel like they might be editing him to look nutz, because he never acted this way before, or maybe this is how he actually is and doesn’t care about the camera’s being around anymore…either way it’s like how much of this acting out should Kail have to take? Girl was dealing with a miscarriage (that he blamed her for), on top of having to parent 2 young (but very well behaved and sweet) children on her own, to her husband being deployed to a very dangerous location, and on top of that Javi throwing tantrums. You can only treat a person the way Javi has been treating Kail for so long….eventually the person breaks. Javi just needs to take it down a few notches before he does something detrimental to their relationship.


      2. There were rumors that Kail had cheated on javi around the time this was filming…thus resulting in the controlling behavior we see him displaying. Not sure if there is truth to it or not…


        1. Yeah that’s always been my thinking of it-he caught her cheating/texting dudes in between seasons, it turned him into a completely different person.


    2. IS will use the Javi footage to mislead their new recruits, they’ll tell them they have nothing to fear when it comes to the enemy.

      I have heard other army men label the bases in this area as ‘army paid vacation’.
      Yet Kailvy manages to make a huuuuge deal out of it.
      Slightly disrespectful to army members and families who have been trough real dangerous and courageous times.


      1. It’s extremely annoying to hear Javi talk about all the “danger” he’s in. He’s not in a combat role, and it’s not even a combat war anymore,everyone is drawing out. And he’s going shopping at Armani and riding dune buggies, so please Javi tell me how it’s a real deployment. My husband was on a real deployment, twice, with real bullets and no fun shipping trips and he didn’t complain to me the few times he was able to call home.
        It really makes me angry when people try to compare a non combat deployment to combat deployments like it’s at all the same


        1. Omfg! Thank you! I am a military spouse as well and I hate it how when it comes to deployments how some fellow spouses (who are even on the same deployment and desk job as my husband) freak out at what danger they are in. I am thankful that all the deployments my husband has went on were all in an air conditioned office in the country of Qatar, thus him not being in any critical danger. I really dislike spouses who make a big, dramatic deal over an overall safe deployment when there are soldiers who are sent on missions in dangerous locations. Yes it does suck to be away from your family anywhere for an extended period time, but I am thankful that my husband has a pretty safe job when it came to his deployments and I didn’t have to live in fear or worry with the country his deployments have been located in.


  15. David is basically the equivalent of a soulmate cardboard cut-out……..this line is priceless The Ashley!!!
    Aghhh uve just made my Monday morning at work, more bearable!!


  16. Dying laughing at Nathan’s “ridiculous and embarrassing haircut”…..he looks like an idiot for sure.
    Uncle Dave is going to find out pretty fast just how much all that is “his”. It’s a thinly veiled delusion Dave, it’s only yours as long as Jenelle says so.


  17. It’s funny how just a year ago Leah was adamant that doing split custody wouldn’t be “the best thing” for the girls but as soon as Corey was granted custody, she thinks it is.


    1. I always say that! All of this could’ve been avoided had she just agreed to Corey’s arrangement in the first place. Corey has never been a deadbeat dad, so there was absolutely no reason why he shouldn’t have had 50/50 custody of the girlses when he first asked. Leah just wanted that control over him.


  18. I just recently discovered this website and I’m so glad I did. The recaps are 20 times better than the actual shows?


  19. I know The Nathan is a giant douche, but I actually feel bad for him during this season. I truly think he loves kaiser and wants to see him, and I could not imagine being kept away from my children. It shows how selfish Jenelle is. Granted, he doesn’t know how old kaiser is, but I think he really is that dumb.

    Oh leah, letting this girlses play on the wheelchair as soon as you get it. Glad to see you stepping up as a mom lol


    1. I kinda feel like Nathan and Jenelle use Kaiser as a weapon against each other. Earlier in the season, Nathan took Kaiser out of the state with his loony girlfriend plus had her give Kaiser a hair cut….this is all SOOOO childish, but Nathan knew that would hurt Jenelle and piss her off….and now Jenelle is totally using Kaiser against Nathan to hurt him, like you can see Kaiser when I say you can see Kaiser. Shame on both of them for using a BABY to get back at each other. I’ll forever feel like Nathan only started talking to Jenelle to get on TV (just like I feel like Uncle Dave is doing the same exact thing. Both of them are opportunists), and then decided to impregnate her to insure that he would continue to have a spot on the show….but this has completely backfired on him because now he’s stuck with the baby mama from hell….I don’t think being on TV, or any amount of money is worth having Jenelle as a baby mama.


      1. Oh I agree, he only was with jenelle because of mtv. He is certainly paying THAT price. Regardless, kaiser is still his child and I truly believe he loves him.


    2. Agreed – shows how deplorable Jenelle succeeds in being, to make us feel any sympathy for the douchebag that is The Nathan.

      He totally brought this drama on himself by being with her & I hated that he was nasty to Babs when he was in Jenelle’s camp. Even so, no junkie baby abandoner and her creepy interim sidekick should have the right to stop him seeing his son, just because she’s bitter that he doesn’t want to be with her, and using blackmail to get charges dropped for something she actually did.
      Just for that; Nathan should fill Jenelle & Lurch’s street (or skreet I believe it was) with upper cut!! ?


      1. Lol. Jenelle agreed she held kaiser from him bc of the charges against her. That really struck a nerve. She is so selfish. I bet her kids are grow up and want nothing to do with her.


        1. If her kids grow up to be halfway emotionally healthy, they will almost certainly choose to cut her out. It’s probably going to be a good thing for them if they can.

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