‘Counting On’ Season 3 Episode 1 Recap: Wedding Dress Shopping & Weird Designers

“It’s time for– what else?–another wedding!”

Fundies rejoice! It’s time for yet another season of 19 Kids and Counting…er…we mean Counting On!

As per usual, this season is going to be about marrying off the Duggar daughters and watching the already-married ones pop out more babies. Of course, a few of the girls will be focusing on their college classes and getting their careers started.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me! GIRLS in college?!”

Hahaha, just kidding! We just wanted to make sure you were still reading this! That could never happen!

This episode focuses on Jinger and her wedding planning. Even though we actually watched the Jinger/Jeremy wedding episode last year (when the network rushed to get it on the air to compete with those Kardashian girls’ show), we are now backtracking and seeing how the wedding was planned.

The episode kicks off with a few of the Duggar gals preparing to head off with Michelle to go fetch a wedding dress for Jinger. Even Jana gets to go along on the rare trip out of the confines of the Duggar compound. (They must have called in Sierra and Anna to watch the litter of little Duggar kids that Jana is normally responsible for.)

“Did somebody say FREE DRESS!?”

The gals will be heading to Washington DC because…well…that’s where they’re able to get a free dress. Jinger is having a dress designed for her by the same person who designed Jill‘s wedding dress. We find out that Jinger and Jeremy will have 10 bridesmaids and 10 groomsmen, so every sister over the age of 10 will need some sort of modest frock to wear on the wedding day!

“Just for the record, Jinger, Ben is never allowed to babysit our children.”

They finally arrive at the wedding dress shop. Derick and Ben (and Jeremy‘s father, for some reason), come along on the trip to watch the babies. Of course they’re both acting like they’re doing everyone a great big ol’ favor by watching their own kids.

Ben is acting like he’s never watched his son before. (Well, to be fair, maybe he hasn’t. Would you trust that guy with your baby? He can barely tie his own shoes without assistance.)

At the wedding dress shop, they meet up with a woman named Miss Renee who speaks in a creepy whisper. Miss Renee tells them she has picked out some ideas for Jinger’s dress and that they can even design something especially for her.

“I’ve got a Duggar in my dress, you guys! I’ve made it!”

“Every dress that I make, I name after the bride,” Miss Renee whispers in a way that makes you wonder if she keeps a lock of hair from each bride as well. “So your dress will be the Jinger.”

Jinger tells Miss Renee she is dead set on having a long train and long sleeves.

While the girls are at the shop, Ben, Jeremy’s dad and Derick take the kids out to get ice cream. Jeremy’s dad gives the guys some fatherly advice about how to handle having more children. He basically just tells them in long form to “deal with it.”

Ben seems happy with that answer, and continues licking his cookies ‘n’ cream cone and searching for shiny objects to stare at.

Back at the shop, Jana is suspiciously silent during the dress shopping. She’s either really over all this wedding crap…or just really sad because she knows that Jinger’s wedding will lead to everyone asking her that inevitable question, “When is it your turn?”

“Enjoy the attention while you can, Jing. Once I pop out this baby, it’s all coming back to me!”

Meanwhile Jessa is doing her best to act excited for her sister, but it’s quite obvious that she’s unhappy that the wedding will 1) cause all of the attention to shift away from her pregnancy and 2) cause Jinger to move away from Arkansas and start a life in Texas with her new husband.

“Jeremy is stealing Jinger away!” Jessa “jokes.”

Joy’s like, “You’re gonna be shoving me down the aisle in one of these by the end of the year, aren’t you Ma?”

Jinger finally decides on a gorgeous, long-sleeved gown with a 12-foot train. She’s grinning with delight (and so is Michelle because she knows she’s getting this dress for free for putting the shop on TV!)

Everyone “oohs” and “aahs” at Jinger’s dress, and Miss Renee whispers how beautiful Jinger looks in the dress.

“You better start strengthening those forearms, Jana! This thing’s heavy as hell!”

Jinger tells us that, although Jessa is the maid of honor, she’s pregnant, so Jana is going to be the one forced to schlep this 12-foot train down the aisle. Let’s just hope that having two or three siblings on her hip won’t prevent Jana from completing her bridesmaid duties!

Next week we get to see another Duggar enter a courtship. You’re up, Joy Anna! Let’s get that wedding and baby-making ball rolling!

To read our recaps of previous episodes of ‘Counting On,’ click here!

(Photos: TLC)

5 Responses

  1. Can we please have an episode of Celebrity Wife Swap with a Kim Kardashian and Jesse Dugger? Please? After all they’re both married to rappers…lol..but seriously can we make that happen.

  2. Maybe I just need a life, but I wish the lace on her train was more modern like the lace on her sleeves. Otherwise, extremely gorgeous!

  3. I’m just so torn between being happy for Joy-Anna and being scared that she could be pregnant before 20. And Austin’s family is really something else so I assume he is a typical fundie who kisses up to Jim Bob. Ugh.

  4. That designer must have taken voice lessons from Michelle, she had that creepy baby Duggar voice. I will say though that Jinger’s dress was drop dead gorgeous and blew her sisters’ dresses out of the water.

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