This week’s episode of The Hills: New Beginnings featured two sad attempts at entertainment industry comebacks, some random bubble-blowing and more product placement than we care to acknowledge.
Without further ado, here are the top five wildest moments from this week’s episode of ’The Hills: New Beginnings’:
1. Brody and his hose save the day!
(We’re not talking about that hose, you sickos!)
On last week’s episode, we watched as Brody Jenner stayed back to protect he and Kaitlynn’s home during the Woolsey fire. This week, viewers saw Brody and Kaitlynn visit their home together in the aftermath.
“I was lucky enough that my house was saved, thank God,” Brody says. “But I did probably have at least two dozen friends [who] lost everything.”
While the couple’s house was spared, their shed, located just 50 feet away, was completely destroyed.
“It’s kind of mind-blowing that it wasn’t worse,” Kaitlynn says. “I think that it’s probably likely [Brody] saved our house by hosing the house down all day.”
2. Mischa brings an entourage to her movie audition.
Mischa Barton is forging a comeback in the acting world and for some reason, she’s decided to bring viewers along for the journey. Look, I’m not hating on Mischa’s talent as an actress. I am, however, throwing her some side-eye for bringing the camera crew from ‘The Hills’ with her to an audition.
I’m no expert, but I think it’s fair to assume if you’re trying to be taken seriously as an actress, you probably shouldn’t go around waving your reality TV flag—at least not in the faces of any casting directors.
On the bright side, at least Mischa was smart enough to bring Audrina Patridge along as her plus one. If anything screams “serious actress,” it’s associating yourself with the girl who came in seventh-place on Dancing with the Stars in 2010.
3. This entire scene—all of it.
The bubble blowing, the baby assistant, the lazy Sonic product placement… Hate them or love them, you have to admit the Pratt family always keeps it interesting.
4. Heidi’s “pop princess” aspirations.
During the bubble-blowing extravaganza, Heidi Montag casually mentions her past attempt to become a famous singer and the millions of dollars it cost her. (Apparently, we’re only taking financial losses here and not loss of dignity.)
“Not many people know it, but I’ve always wanted to be a pop princess,” she says. “I spent $2 million on my pop career and I actually had a very successful online album. I’m really big in the underground gay community.”
Heidi says she “stepped away” from her music career initially because she ran out of money and then because she had a baby. Now that Baby Gunner is getting older, Heidi says she ready to make her comeback so naturally, she turns Justin Bobby Brescia for advice.
He comes running over to Heidi’s house, guitar in hand, as fast as his beach-going combat boots can get him there!
Justin is forced to listen to Heidi’s poetry. (Um…?) Heidi then tells him she’s looking to lean toward a “heartfelt Christian vibe” this time around… so there’s that.
5. Gunner’s wild and crazy bedtime routine.
While having dinner at Frankie Delgado’s house with the rest of the group, Heidi announces that she and Spencer have to leave early so that she can put Gunner to bed.
“He will not sleep without me,” she explains to her friends. “I have to nurse him for one minute or two, because I’m weaning, and then I have to rock him… “
Heidi then proceeds to demonstrate the violent “rocking” Gunner is subjected to at bedtime and let’s just say, that kid is going to need a whole lot of healing crystals in his future.