Take off your harness and rainbow wig – two things we never thought we’d say when talking about the Duggar crew – and get ready to welcome another blessing into the world – something we can’t go two episode without saying when talking about the Duggar crew. It’s time for another episode of Counting On!
After dazzling us last episode with their mild to moderate athleticism, we kick off this episode with some more Duggars on the move, this time in the form of Jeremy and Jinger’s daughter Felicity who is trying out a scooter for the first time.
Once Felicity is fully outfitted in her safety gear, she takes to the sidewalk, only to decide that much like this show, the whole ‘scooting’ thing is seriously overrated so she pops both of her toddler feet up onto the board and lets her dad
pull a Jana do all of the work.
After realizing his daughter is basically destined for X-Games greatness, Jeremy feels inspired and tells Jinger he thinks it’s time for him to dust off the skateboard his Christian buddy Jay gifted him for Christmas and hit the skate park.
Naturally, Jinger does her best to pretend she’s on board with this idea, despite her fear of Jeremy ending up in a body cast.
Oh, and because this is ‘Counting On’/The Jim Bob & Michelle Show, we’re forced to watch a clip of that cringe-fest of a couple twirling around a roller skating rink like it’s the fundie Ice Capades. I mean…WTF, TLC?! Why are these little piles of Jim-Bob-and-Michelle vomit clips being inserted into every episode now?
I’m here to watch Jessa & Co. shoot out offspring on their couches, not to watch Jim Bob try to keep it in his Dockers on the regular.
Back in Arkansas, Joe and Kendra are a couple of weeks away from Blessing No. 2 barreling its way through Kendra’s pelvis. With tons of cleaning and prepping to be done, they enlist the help of some Duggar siblings to do some heavy lifting and organizing around the house. #FreeLabor #ButNotTheKindOfLaborThatBringsABlessing
For the younger siblings who have come over to help, Kendra has a special assignment in mind…
Without argument, the little Duggars get to work vacuuming, scrubbing toilets and laundering everything.
We must stop here and really applaud the siblings for helping out. I don’t know too many kids that age that would be willing to come to their brother’s house and spend the day scrubbing, so kudos to them.
Naturally, we then have to hear from JB and Michelle again. Their mugs pop up on the screen and they’re asked how they keep up with cleaning their house.
Hahaha, good one, guys! There’s about as good of a chance finding a sponge in Michelle’s hand as there is finding a birth control sponge in her lady parts. In other words… IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN.
You want to know how the Duggars keep their house clean? I can sum it up in one word for you: JANA!
Once the kids have cleaned the entire house, Kendra grills Josie about whether or not she actually cleaned the baseboards and then complains about the kids eating all of her and Joe’s biscuits. UMMMM. Kendra, you just had a team of mini indentured servants clean your whole log cabin for ya for free. Maybe chill about the biscuits.
In an act of desperation, the kids decide to get a little revenge and use their dirty fingers to spread jelly onto their biscuits and proceed to eat said biscuits on the couch.
Let this be a lesson to you, Kendra: you get what you pay for.
Over at Jessa and Ben’s house, it’s time for Henry’s followup with the speech therapist. Because Henry is only a month away from turning three, the speech therapist tests Henry at the three-year-old level and Jessa and Ben are relieved to find out Henry is doing well and has made big improvements since their last meeting. Unfortunately (for Ben, mostly), no stickers are given out to the patient (or the Daddy) once the appointment is over.
Since it’s been a whole five minutes since we’ve had to look at his mug, they again wheel out Jimmy B to tell us about the speech issues he had as a child, which he says eventually went away. Jim Bob jokes that if anything, he probably talks too much now.
Finally, we agree on something.
Back in California, it’s time for cool-guy Jeremy’s skateboarding lesson with pro Brian Sumner. After arriving at the skateboard park with Jinger and Felicity, Jeremy takes off behind Brian and within seconds, almost falls to the pavement.
After realizing just how much of a beginner Jeremy is, Brian calls in some backup in the form of his 9-year-old son Jude.
Brian’s plan to embarrass Jeremy into becoming a semi-decent skateboarder surprisingly pays off and before long, Jeremy is flying through the skate park without hurting himself or fellow park patrons. Brian is so impressed by Jeremy’s ability to not break any bones that he says Jeremy could almost pass for a local and even jokes about him graffitiing “Krist” on one of the walls.
While winding down their skate sesh, Brian talks about his career in the skate world, his personal life and how he became a Christian. Jeremy says Brian’s transformation is similar to his own after he stopped playing professional soccer. Jeremy then regales us with the tale of his bad boy past.
“I had a similar darkness in my life where I was consumed with playing soccer but I was also living a life that wasn’t honoring Christ,” Jeremy says. “I ended up getting arrested, I was drinking, I was partying in college, just being a foolish young guy and it was really that night when I got arrested out late at night, 3 o’clock in the morning, I realized I can’t live like this and call myself a Christian … .”
Despite Jim Bob and Michelle’s need to insert themselves into literally every scene this episode, we get a reprieve during this scene. Thankfully we are spared from hearing Jim Bob talk about his “party boy past”…aka the time he took more than his fair share of the family Ovaltine out of the fridge and drank it all.
Back in Arkansas, Joe and Kendra pack up Garrett’s belongings and prepare to drop him off at the Caldwell’s house because Kendra has started having contractions. As per usual, Kendra has a permanent grin on her face while explaining what’s going on and the pain she’s in.
She confirms to the producers that “we’re” definitely in labor.
We? Um…I don’t see a baby grinding its head into Joe’s pelvis but whatever you say, Kendra!
Soon, Kendra and Joe are en route to the hospital at 1 a.m. – the only situation in which Duggars are ever out and about at this hour. Kendra says her contractions have picked up and her sister Lauren, who is joining the couple at the hospital, starts to get excited, probably because she’s not the one getting ready to expel an entire human from her body.
Kendra giggly tells us all about “transition” labor, which she says– through chuckles— is “when you’re in the most pain and about to deliver the baby!”
Sounds like a hoot!
Meanwhile, Joe mansplains that Kendra is in labor, but not literally giving birth in the front seat.
Once Kendra is admitted to the hospital, she learns she’s not as far along as she thought, so her doctor instructs her to walk some laps around the hospital halls. (Surprisingly, we don’t have to hear Jim Bob tell us about the time he had to walk laps around a hospital.)
During the walk, Kendra starts to feel a lot more pain so she returns to her hospital room to lay down. About 30 minutes later, her water breaks. Kendra says she didn’t think her water could break while laying down (umm… ), so the whole experience leaves her “really confused.”
Kendra’s mom Christina arrives at the hospital right as Kendra begins to feel nauseated. (Perhaps Kendra caught a glimpse of her mom’s T-shirt which reads, “If you died tonight would you go to Heaven?” Um…maybe don’t wear a shirt that talks about dying the night your daughter’s in labor, Christy. Good Lord.)
Kendra’s pain soon increases significantly, though you can hardly tell by the whisper-screaming she’s doing. (She must have attended the Michelle Duggar School ‘o’ Labor.)
Seriously, I’ve yelled louder than this after banging my elbow on a table. This chick has a human body tearing through her lady garden and she’s barely making a sound.
Eventually though, Kendra does allow herself to let out a few yelps, especially once she feels the need to push this spawn out. As Kendra’s labor progresses, we learn a few different things: her doctor is tardy for the birthing party and not even in the building, and her sister and mom have nicknamed her “Trenge” for reasons unknown.
This poor girl is told not to push, despite her body telling her it needs to, because the doctor hasn’t arrived yet.
REALLY? You have Michelle Freakin’ Duggar there (as well as Ma Caldwell, who has birthed out eight babies herself). They could deliver this kid in their sleep. Screw the doctor! Shoot that baby out, Kendra! (I’m sure Michelle could have called Jana to come clean up the birthing mess, geez…)
Joe says that while Kendra is in labor, she appears as though she possessed and it scares the absolute hell out of Joe.
Before Joe has time to grab his travel bottle of holy water to fling onto his wife, Kendra shoots Blessing No. 2 out of her fundie factory.
The next day, a parade of family members drop by the hospital to meet Addison Renee. After glancing at his notes, Jim Bob announces Addison as the 14th Duggar grandchild. Addison responds by sneezing on him.
That’s all for this week!
On the next episode of ‘Counting On,’ it’s Lauren‘s turn in the birthing stirrups! She and Josiah head to the hospital for the birth of their baby, while Jeremy and Jinger reveal some exciting news to the family via video chat while rubbing it in everyone’s face (yet again) that they don’t have to participate in Duggar Family Fun Nights anymore.
To read The Ashley’s previous ‘Counting On’ recap, click here!