Howdy trash TV lovers! It’s time to take a peek back into the lives of those wacky gals from Teen Mom OG! With mama/daughter drama brewing, uteri swelling with Oopsie Babies and deadbeat family members, you’d think we’d get a more interesting episode than this but…hey, The Ashley did the best she could with what she was given.
Let’s get started!
We kick things off in Tennessee, where Maci is reflecting on The Great Gas Station Shootout that
her car she was involved in. (To show this, they have Maci gaze out the window in deep thought while solemn music plays.)
Maci talks to Taylor about her feelings post-shooting. She says she sometimes gets to a place where she feels she’s worked through the trauma, but then all of a sudden, she finds herself “in a ditch of crap you don’t wanna be in.”
Maci says she’s triggered by certain sounds now, like a balloon popping. She also reveals that she’s been having a lot of dreams about guns, so she decides to go to counseling.
Later, as the kids are wraaastlin‘, Maci again reflects on “the gas station situation.” She says that hearing the noises of her kids trying to beat each other to bloody pulps have jump-started her sweat glands and now perspiration is pouring out of every orifice of her body. (I hope those TTM shirts are built to stand up to torsos full of sweat!)
Seeing his wife turn into a scared, sweaty heap has worried Taylor, so he calls up Maci’s pal Katie to see if she’ll take Maci out for a night of slugging down beer. After Katie makes sure Taylor can offer up free babysitting services for her kid (which is likely going to be some poor production assistant wrangling the Oopsie Babies & Co.), she agrees to have a night out on MTV’s dime.
Next we head to Michigan, where Catelynn and Tyler are hosting Ty’s mom Kim for dinner at the Octagon ‘o’ Triggers. Since Catelynn doesn’t have a new career this week, and no one is peeing into Tupperware, they have nothing going on in their lives. Luckily, they have a whole dumpster of trainwreck relatives to discuss if they need to. For this episode, they are talking about Tyler’s sister Amber, who has apparently fallen off the wagon.
Apparently, Amber (Tyler’s sister) has something in common with the other Amber on this show: both have daughters who aren’t speaking to them. For Amber (the one without the machete), her daughter isn’t speaking to her because she’s started drinking beer again, despite having a long period of sobriety.
(During that period of sobriety, Amber was living in Texas while her kids were in Michigan, so Amber’s daughter isn’t so keen that her mom was away for three years, just to be slugging back Bud Lights again like she’s Maci.)
Kim says that, because Amber’s not sober anymore, she should at least come back to Michigan where her kids are and be a trainwreck there.
Amber’s situation reminds Kim of the pickle she got into after giving Butchy the ol’ pickle tickle years ago: he was making kids he couldn’t be there for because he was too busy drinkin’, smokin’ and snortin’.
Tyler said that as a kid, he did feel like Butch chose to spend his time with his drugs and drinks, rather than with him.
“Why do you want to go get high?” Tyler said he would ask Butch.
(At the mention of ‘get high,’ Cate gets this really shifty look in her eye, almost like she’s trying to remember if she left her bong off-camera so she could go hit it without being seen on-camera. Don’t worry, though: it’s a therapy bong!)
Next, we head on over to Indiana. Amber tells us that her daughter Leah is mad because their plans “fell through” a few weeks ago.
Um…no, Ambie. They did not “fall through.” YOU cancelled the plans. Falling off your couch does not count as “plans falling through.”
Because of that, Amber is in the doghouse with Leah. Still, she has hopes that Leah will want to see her because it’s Leah’s birthday. Because Leah shot out of Amber’s hoo-ha 12 years ago, Amber is hoping that Leah will feel obligated to let her be there when she blows out the candles.
Over at Gary‘s farm, Leah tells Gary and Kristina that she wants a birthday party with her family. This proves to be a predicament for Gary, because he doesn’t know what to do about Amber.
Just at the mention of her mom, Leah scrunches up her face like she was just told she has to eat Gary’s sweat sock.
Gary, bless his Dad Bod heart, is trying his best to get Leah to include her mother, but Leah Boo Boo has seen and heard all she needs to about Mommy Dearest, apparently, and she is not having it any longer.
“We don’t really have that bond like that,” Leah says.
But she is not done, NO SIR!
“Twelve years and she hasn’t really done anything!” Leah says of Amber. “That’s kind of been Kristina’s spot.”
This was the scene we all knew was coming when, years ago, we watched Amber put Leah down in a crib (with no sheet, but plenty of Taco Bell cups) as a baby; or when Amber let some creepo from Walmart change her; or when Amber booted Gary down the stairs, or when Amber went to gel, or when Amber… I mean, we could go on and on…
We always said “someday Leah will know” and, by God, that day is today, y’all!
Kristina, bless her heart, tries to insist that she is just a “bonus mom” and that Ambie is Leah’s true mother.
“All she did was give birth to me!” Leah protests.
Gary tries to insist that Amber did take care of Leah— you know, when she wasn’t being a “rill woman to her man,” chasing people with weapons, licking Fentanyl patches or going to prison. Leah’s not buying it.
Still, she seems to want to make Gary happy so she says Amber can come to the family party. (When she says that, she literally cringes and looks like she’s just been sentenced to 10 years of watching this horrific show.)
We next head to Los Angeles. Cheyenne sits down with her friend Shanan and sister R. You All Ever Gonna Get My Name Right? to talk about starting a podcast.
This franchise needs another podcast like Amber needs another baby.
The three of them decide that with COVID, they have “a lot of time to think” and “a lot to say,” so after settling on a name – Think Loud Crew – everything is a go.
Well, almost everything…
Later on, Cheyenne explains that repeated injustices against people of color and the Black Lives Matter movement inspired her to want to start a podcast. She also reveals that when she attempts to show her support on social media, her posts are “met with a lot of hate and judgment,” which she says only makes her want to do more with her platform.
Before starting the podcast, Cheyenne tells her sister she’s reached out to an organization called the Color of Change to talk about ways they can get more involved and use their (aka Cheyenne’s) platform for a good cause. Cheyenne’s sister, mom and baby daddy Cory decide they want to participate in the conversation with the organization, as well.
Cheyenne and her sis then mull over whether to high-five over getting the ball rolling on their podcast.
Down in Florida, Mackenzie is still riding high off of the minimum effort Josh put into her birthday, so her sister and friends decide to come down for a visit and knock some sense into her. Before their arrival, Mackenzie sits down with Josh for yet another “what are we?” conversation.
Josh tells Mackenzie he wishes they could “have a restart” and Mackenzie agrees, but notes that it’s unrealistic.
marriage talk is going nowhere, Mackenzie randomly reminds Josh that her best friend Cayla doesn’t support their relationship. Josh acknowledges Mackenzie’s statement with a grunt and then says he’s heading up to Oklahoma soon to do a drywall job, but plans to come back to Florida afterwards… .
Mackenzie’s Oklahoma squad finally arrives in Florida, screaming and raising all kinds of hell, just as this rental home has grown accustomed to at this point.
wild animals children run loose, Mackenzie greets Cayla, Whitney and her other friend Thaylia before heading out to the park for a picnic.
During the picnic, Mackenzie’s crew starts asking about Josh’s drywall disappearing act and Mackenzie admits that Josh had the “screw you, I hate Florida” mindset before coming to Florida, but now he likes it and wants to stay. Still, she tells her friends and sister that she has no idea when he’s coming back. As Mackenzie updates the group on what’s going on, they all awkwardly exchange glances and (probably) wonder how much sun exposure this girl has gotten since her arrival.
Back at her rental home, Mackenzie hands all of the kids some sticky ass popsicles to run around with indoors while she and Cayla step outside to chat. That should work out nicely…
Mackenzie tells Cayla she was frustrated to not have her support after getting back together with Josh, even though she knows Cayla witnessed the
dumpster fire “rollercoaster” the two went through not long before that.
Cayla explains that she supports Mackenzie, but is nervous that she and Josh jumped back into things before working on themselves as individuals. She also says she’s worried that the two of them will end up repeating past mistakes because they’ve failed to address their issues and make a plan to move forward.
Cayla acknowledges that she’s pretty much the only person that tells Mackenzie like it is, to which Mackenzie replies, “If I was my friend, I wouldn’t want me to be with Josh.”
Over in Los Angeles, Cheyenne goes to lunch with her sister, dad and stepmom to talk about the podcast. Cheyenne says talking to her dad, Kyle, before she records the first episode is important because she loves the way he raised her and R to embrace their race. Kyle says he’d love to do a podcast, too, but it would be up to Cheyenne, because he doesn’t know how to do it.
Cheyenne goes on to explain how important it is to have conversations about race to help others understand and mentions that when Ryder has playdates with kids who are white, she “peeks around” to see if they have any dolls that are brown. She also notes the conversation people of color have to have with their kids compared to conversations white people have to have with their kids, calling it “two different worlds.”
Kyle tells Cheyenne he raised her and her sister the way he did because he knew more times than not, they were “gonna be the minority in a situation.” Cheyenne says R in particular will have to have certain conversations with Boz, as a young Black man. Kyle encourages Cheyenne to not get mad, and instead, use that energy to educate others.
Later on, Cheyenne, R, Cory, and Cheyenne’s mom Margaret hop on a Zoom call with Arisha, the Color of Change representative. During the call, Arisha answers questions the group has about how to be a better ally, how to create exposure to states that are predominantly white – something Cory mentions that he experienced growing up in Michigan – and more.
Before the end of the episode, we see Cheyenne and R not only effortlessly pull off that high-five they talked about earlier, but more importantly, record their first podcast episode.
Back in Indiana, the drama over Leah’s birthday party has exploded. Leah calls up Producer Townsend to insist that she enjoys doing things with Leah “off-camera” (but not “off-couch,” obviously) and that the whole birthday party situation is “a bit odd for me.”
Amber— forever making it all about her— says that she’s worried she’ll feel “uneasy” being around Leah, Gary and the hibachi chef that’s apparently coming to prepare a feast for the gang.
WTF, Amber? You got an invite by the skin of your teeth. Show up, bring a gift, eat your teriyaki chicken and shut your damn mouth.
Amber seems to forget that she’s talking about her 12-year-old daughter, and not some Instagram troll. She says she wants Leah to “stop making excuses for seeing me.”
At Gary’s farm, Gary “breaks” the news to Leah that Amber is once again gonna be a no-show to the big hibachi dinner party.
Gary says that Amber wants to have a private dinner with Leah another night. Leah is very clear that she doesn’t want to have a one-on-one meal with Mommy Dearest.
That night, Grandma Tonya shows up (you know she ain’t gonna miss out on fresh-cooked teriyaki chicken with all the fixins!)
Leah opens her presents and, at the end, Kristina says she has a special gift for Leah.
“I did not give life to you, but life gave me you,” Kristina tells Leah as she presents her with a special necklace. “I never knew I could love someone else’s daughter like I can love you.”
Leah begins to cry, and Tonya looks down (surely thinking that she wishes her own daughter was less of a selfish creepnozzle and more like this saint of a woman right here.)
Later, Amber is sitting on her couch (natch) alone feeling good about her decision to not attend Leah’s birthday party. She calls up her brother, Shawn Bubby and THANK THE BABY JESUS GOD LEAH she is not wearing her slutty paratrooper outfit for this call. (I hope someone told her it was offensive/disturbing/possibly illegal to wear that outfit while talking to your brother.)
Anyway, Amber tells Shawn Bubby that she and Leah weren’t getting along because Leah’s mad about some stuff “she doesn’t understand whatsoever.”
Amber says that Leah told her that, because she’s turning 12, she’s independent, which she says is ridiculous.
Um…Ambie? I think she just wants to be independent of you.
As per usual, Amber is making this all about herself and how upset she is.
Finally, Shawn Bubby has had ENOUGH. He’s about to sit Amber down on that couch (oh wait…she already did that) and give her a piece of his mind!
Shawn Bubby brings up the fact that this poor kid has had to deal with the pain of having a mom who’s been absent for 12 years, getting into trouble, putting all her attention into random men, and, you know, buying slutty paratrooper costumes to wear on TV.
Naturally, Amber blows up at this. She insists that she was never absent. In fact, she says she “took care of her my damn self…before I went to prison.”
Oops sorry… “f**king prison” I mean…
But Shawn Bubby is not done! He brings up the entire Andrew fiasco and the fact that Amber hardly had time to hang out with Leah, what with all the falling instantly in love with a rando guy, getting knocked up, throwing up in plastic bags on the bed, having a baby, machete-chasing, getting arrested and whatnot. It was quite the whirlwind.
Amber is really rolling now. She’s singing that familiar jingle– “I Was a Good Mom!”— with all her might.
“I was there a couple times a week! Or every other week!” she insists.
Shawn Bubby suggests that perhaps Leah doesn’t feel like she’s getting enough attention from Amber.
Umm… I think attention from Amber is the last thing that kid wants at this point. Maybe a few years ago, when Amber was spending her time screaming on Instagram Live, banging rando men she met online and giving lie-detector tests to people, Leah might have wanted her mom’s attention. But now she’s pretty much over it.
Shawn Bubby says Leah told Gary that she wanted to see her mom without an entire crew of MTV cameramen present. Amber says– well, actually she screams— that she wanted that too, but Leah said no.
Now, Amber is in full rage mode. She tells Shawn Bubby that Gary and Kristina have been feeding Leah lies about her.
Finally, Shawn Bubby hits Amber with a bullet of a statement.
“It takes a lot of work to make up for 12 years,” he tells her.
Work? Well….I think that pretty much ends things. Amber would be better off calling up Dimitri, flying him over, getting knocked up by him and starting over with a new Leah. Because this ain’t happening…
Meanwhile, in Michigan, Later, Tyler wonders how Amber can be a deadbeat to her kids, after she grew up with a deadbeat dad.
Nova is nearby and hears the conversation. She asks Tyler why he didn’t have a dad.
Tyler sums it up by saying that his dad broke the law a lot.
“Oh, well that’s stupid!” Nova says.
Butch’s parole officers have been telling him that for years, kid. But hell, maybe he’ll listen to your logic because you’re not wrong!
Tyler says later that he wants to get rid of the anger and bitterness he feels toward Butch for being such a trashbag all of his life. Becoming a father himself has made him realize that Butch was an even bigger trashbag than he originally thought he was.
Tyler decides to go to counseling to make sure he doesn’t end up being a Hefty Bag-of-a-Dad like his old man.
I think that’s nice…
Back in Tennessee, Taylor is letting the Oopsie Babies get out of their usual practices for The Sports and is taking them to a restaurant so that they can meet up with Maci’s gal pals for her surprise night out. Maci is unsure she wants to go because she’s afraid one of the Oopsie Babies will use the restaurant fork to poke their sibling’s eye out or something.
She finally agrees to go and, as they arrive at the restaurant, Maci spots her gal pals standing there waiting
to get their drinks paid for by MTV for Maci.
Maci is thrilled to escape the Suburban ‘o’ Oopsies, and tells Taylor she owes him, a debt she will pay when she gets home.
She means The Sex, in case you didn’t catch that. Taylor better hose down his junk, because Maci’s going to come home drunk and ready to hump!
Maci then launches into a convo about The Great Gas Station Shootout. She tells her friends that she believes there’s a reason that she was in that gas station that day (other than to pick up a couple of cases of Bud Light and a bag of Fritos).
She does say, though, that she doesn’t know if she’ll ever be able to go into a gas station again.
That’s all for this episode of ‘Teen Mom OG!’ To read The Ashley’s recap of the previous episode, click here!