‘Teen Mom Family Reunion’ Season 1 Episode 4 Recap: Racing Through a Obstacle Course & the Return of Farrah

The thought of having to see Farrah’s face-of-the-week during this episode…

Well, we’re back for another episode of Teen Mom Family Reunion

The Ashley will give the dozen or so of you still watching this litter box of a show a second to calm down. 

Anyway, we’re back at the resort to watch these spoiled, rich perma-teens drink, fight and cry, all while everyone is wearing Fashion Nova frocks that are just randomly missing huge portions of them. 

Everyone is really starting to get along now… so, naturally, the producers have decided to “mix things up” and bring in someone who can cause more conflict. Sadly, though, they didn’t call in Briana‘s mom Roxanne and her trusty pair of Hush Puppies. (Give Roxy some proper footwear and someone who dissed her daughter and things will get interesting real damn fast!)

Instead, they called in Farrah, who hasn’t been back on one of these ‘Teen Mom’ shows since her butt was booted for doing butt p0rn and whatnot. Farrah is still doing butt p0rn and whatnot, but now the show is more desperate so I guess that means it’s OK to bring her back? I have no clue. I just hope she keeps her Backdoor in her Fashion Novas for the sake of humanity!

Before they wheel out Farrah (and whatever version of her mug she’s currently sporting), though, we will have to sit through a couple of cast injuries, a trip to the hospital and another surprise guest. (Jesus God Leah, please let it be Debz OG. The only thing that could save this horrific show now is Debz strutting in wearing a pair of Farrah’s skintight snakeskin pleather pants, narrating this show via rap.)

MAKE THIS HAPPEN, MTV! WE DESERVE THIS!

“You rang?”

This episode picks up with Briana and Devoin– aka “D”– still hashing things out with the help of Coach B. Devoin insists he doesn’t care about “Camera A or B” and that he knows it’s TV but he wants to be real.

Why does this scene sound like someone reading an eye chart? So D tells Coach B that he doesn’t care about camera A or B or that he’s on TV?

Make it stop!

Devoin tells Bri that he wants Nova to know the truth about him, instead of the narrative she’s been sticking to for the show. (As fans know, Bri and the rest of the DeJesus Coven have been calling Devoin a deadbeat dad, etc. for years— all the way back to when Roxy tried to throw a flowerpot at his head during Teen Mom 3. Ahhh…memories…)

Briana says she doesn’t want to “repeat an old pattern,” which is basically they fight, both run to social media to bash each other and someone ends up in court. 

“Wait…so I SHOULDN’T hop on Insta Live after a fight? But how will everyone know I’m mad at Briana?!” 

Briana says Devoin had been unstable until only recently. Now, he’s somewhat stable and living with his girlfriend. Briana says she has no problem with Devoin’s boo, but questions where Nova’s “safe space” is when she’s at their house because Nova doesn’t have a room, or even her own bed, when she’s there. 

Devoin tells Coach B he’s at this reunion because he didn’t want to turn down a free vacation for Nova.

Um…yes, I can see how you having two weeks of San Diego fun in the sun will benefit the girl.

He says he’s also here so Briana can really get to know him and understand that he only wants the best for their daughter. 

“I’m not just someone you chuck garden vases at!” 

Coach B reminds Briana and Devoin that they don’t have to be together, but they did bang without protection, so now they have a child together. Briana reminds us that Devoin neglected Nova when she was younger, and while it’s great that he’s around now, that still makes her (and her Coven) wary that he’s a good dad. 

“I know you can’t always tell because there’s a shoe flying at your face, but she means well.”

Devoin becomes emotional while talking about not having a bond with Nova. He promises Briana he will continue stepping up and doing more. Briana promises to stop “overtalking” Devoin. (I guess they’ll take turns screaming at each other from now on?)

The next day, after Brittany encourages the gang to plow through chafing dishes of chicken and waffles, we get to listen to Amber complain about her sunburned feet.

They still make Amber plod her charred hooves out to the van, because everyone is going somewhere to do an outdoor activity involving giant inflatables. And no, we’re not talking about any of the moms’ surgically enhanced body parts. 

” … but enough about Briana’s booty.”

The girls have donned their finest booty shorts, swapmeet leggings and crop tops, since they’re about to be “athletic.”

This is their “athletic” wear, by the way…

Gary looks concerned.

When you just snarfed down a bucket of chicken ‘n’ waffles and you realize you’re about to belly flop onto an inflatable slide…

As soon as one of the moms comments that the obstacle course looks like something from The Challenge, we immediately know where this is going… enter Cheyenne’s (first) baby daddy Cory, current ‘Challenge’ um…star… and the unofficial mascot of bad MTV reality shows.  

When you can’t win a ‘Challenge’ so you start making up titles for yourself.

That’s right, a mere mention of ‘The Challenge,’ and Cory will appear out of thin air, ready to collect another MTV check and another entry on his IMDb page.

Much to Cory’s delight, the moms and dads (and Spandex-wearing sister and random plus one) greet him on the field while pretending to be excited about whatever the hell is about to go down. 

Nope. Too easy.

Cory picks Cheyenne to be the captain of one team, while he– of course– designates himself to be the captain of the other team. Teams are then picked dodgeball-style, with Amber announcing to the group that she’s sitting out for this activity due to her barbecued paws.

“If someone could scoot a couch over so I can sit and watch, that’d be great.”

I, for one, am really disappointed that we won’t get to watch Amber flop onto an inflatable slide, screaming “I’M DONE!” 

Sigh.

At the end, the DeJesus sisters are the only two remaining and Devoin is left to make the final selection. Despite Brittany’s warning, Devoin picks Briana. 

We like to think this is how Dr. Miami kicks off consultations with new clients.

After Amber announces that she’s “sitting now” (again…too easy…) the obstacle course race thing begins. Zach absolutely smokes Briana, who ends up falling out of the inflatable slide as her boobs fall out of her Fashion Nova Athletic Wear sports bra. It’s a whole mess– one that can only be outdone by Gary, who loses a shoe 30 seconds into his run. 

“Though women have been known to enjoy climbing my rope, if ya know what I’m saying. It’s Dad Bod season, baby!” 

Cory reminds everyone that losing on ‘The Challenge’ is his “day job.”

Everyone continues bouncing around more than Bri’s Dr. Miami-supplied ample bosom in that flimsy bra. Briana goes for round two on the obstacle course. She’s struggling to heave all that spandex and silicone over the wall, telling us it’s rough(er than having sex in the bathroom at an Orlando club.)

Briana’s finally able to complete the obstacle course. However, she gasses out while running to the finish line, ultimately collapsing to the ground and telling everyone (multiple times) that she can’t breathe. 

“If anything, I’m kind of annoyed because this is taking the focus off of me.”

Producers, paramedics and Chau (gotta get that airtime!) run over to Briana, who is lying on the ground. 

She’s screaming over and over that she can’t breathe. Cheyenne wonders if Briana is just being “dramatic,” given that all the girl had to do was run like 15 feet after sliding down a big slide. 

“I have these at my kids’ parties!” Cheyenne says. 

“Are you kidding? I’d make Bentley do this course with one leg tied behind his butt, blindfolded and on an 800-calorie diet! Suck it up!”

They call the medics who check her vitals, give her some water and load her into a car, with Brittany riding in the backseat. During the car ride Brittany notices Briana’s head falling to the side as if she’s losing consciousness, at which point someone calls 911.

Moments later, an ambulance arrives and Briana is loaded into the back of it on a stretcher. (Safety first! MTV will be damned if they’ll get sued over this diaper-pail-of-a-show!)

Later on, Briana FaceTimes Brittany from inside the hospital, IV in arm and hooked to some machines. Briana says her heart rate is being monitored, so she will be with the medics “for a while.” (Or at least until this outdoor fitness nonsense is over.) 

“And THIS is why I sit, sunburned feet or not!”

Back at the field, Cory tells the cast members who didn’t pass out from exhaustion that he appreciates them for “having high energy.”

” ..for only poking fun a little bit at the ridiculous outfit I’m wearing. Then again, judging by what y’all have on right now, I don’t think you have any room to talk.”

When the cast gets back to the hotel, everyone is sore and tired from “Cory Day.” 

Ok, hold up. These people are in their twenties and early thirties and they went down a slide. They are acting like they just went through boot camp! JESUS GOD LEAH.

Cheyenne and Maci get together to talk about how great this “reunion” experience is and how they think it should happen once a year. 

“We do not.” – Last Week’s ‘Teen Mom Family Reunion’ ratings. 

Maci and Cheyenne talk about how the reunion has confirmed that they still have identities outside of being mothers. They are relieved that they can still be stars of bad reality TV shows without their kids.

Maci also talks about how she was pelvic thrust into motherhood after getting pregnant the night she lost her virginity. 

“Sure, Maci…”

Meanwhile, Brittany is still lurking in the parking lot of the hospital because she knows she’ll have to face Roxy— and her shoe!— if anything happens to Briana.

She checks in with Jade to tell her Briana is getting an EKG and won’t be returning just yet. While faking expressing his concern along with some of the other cast, Cory says he feels bad. 

“If this were ‘The Challenge,’ I’d finally have a chance to win.”

Leah, meanwhile, is “standing in her power” and telling herself how great she looks in the mirror. (Um…I think she’s been hanging around Cory too long…)

Later on, Coach B meets with the three “OG” moms. They talk about how weird it is to be around a cast that fights all the time. Maci comments that the ‘Teen Mom OG’ cast hasn’t had any drama.. “at least since Farrah left.”

Foreshadowing….

“No drama, huh? I’ll just be over here, ignored if anyone cares…oh wait, you don’t…”

Coach B says she is going to do some coaching on “you and self.” (No, really.)

Coach B whips out a podium and says they are focusing on childhood trauma in this activity. Her strategy for doing this? Making the moms stand in front of mammoth-sized posters of their giant teenage heads. 

AS YOU DO.

When you combat childhood trauma by bringing in props to create adult trauma…

“Why is my head so big?” Maci says.

Um…because MTV has been paying you ridiculous amounts of money since you let Ryan Edwards insert his spawn into your underage hoo-ha…

Maci stands inches away from the massive photo of her knocked-up-teenage self, explaining how she felt in that moment.

(Also, can I just say that whoever chose the photos used here obviously isn’t a fan of Maci? They used the worst photo of Maci, while Chey and Amber got glamour shots! WTF?)

Coach B then instructs her to “free baby Maci” and they hug it out.

Cheyenne is up next, and Coach B whips out a photo that in all honesty, could’ve been taken within the last year. 

“Mostly the comments from people asking why I was brought onto a show about teenage mothers despite being a college graduate when I gave birth.”

Cheyenne talks about how, even though she wasn’t a teen mom when she gave birth, she felt as though she was…again, despite being in her mid-twenties at the time. 

Last up is Amber, who looks as though she doesn’t recognize the person in the photo, mostly likely because she refuses to open her eyes. 

Wake up, rill woman… you’re on!

After Amber manages to peel herself off of the banana-colored couch and crack open those peepers, she confesses to the group that when she looks at the photo of her teenage self, the first thing she notices is her fake smile.

She goes on to tell the group that when the photo of her was taken, she was in a lot of pain and wasn’t ready to be a mom.

OK wait, though. Sadly, The Ashley knows way too much about ‘Teen Mom’ and recognizes that this photo of Amber was taken while Ambie was dating Matt Baier…so she had been a mom to Leah for years by then. Why not use a pic of Amber when she had her Roseanne Barr bangs? That was the real teen Amber. 

Amber apologizes to her “alleged” teenage self for not receiving the love she needed, as Coach B assures her it wasn’t her fault. After bringing all three of the moms to tears, Coach B wraps up the activity and heads back to her room to scheme up some more wacky team building exercises. 

Later that night, a car pulls up to the resort as menacing music plays in the background, which can only mean one thing: something bad is coming, and that something bad is named Farrah. 

Even Debz OG’s pleather pants would have been better to wear than…whatever this is…

Before busting into the reunion unannounced, Farrah– and Farrah’s ranch-hand/elementary-school librarian getup– stops by her room to unpack and (presumably) feed on the soul of a random stranger before the festivities kick off. 

She tells us all about her life now, as they show photos of Farrah and her now-12-year-old daughter Sophia. (I feel bad for whatever production assistant was given the task of finding photos of Farrah that are PG enough to show on TV.)

We get to see some old clips of Farrah fighting with Maci, and Farrah fighting with Amber. They show a clip of Amber charging Farrah on-stage at a reunion, screaming that she’ll stand up for her man because she’s a felon and a “rill woman” and whatnot.

Damn I miss the olden days of this crap show.

Meanwhile, Briana is released from the hospital, and makes her grand exit in a stolen hospital blanket and no shoes. She tells us that she was dehydrated and overworked.

While that is going down, the rest of the gang is at the resort playing a few drinking games and listening to Gary talk about his nipples.

OK…Farrah’s plastic face may not be the scariest thing on this episode after all..

Briana and Brittany finally arrive from the hospital and Briana says she is no longer allowed to take part in physical activities during the reunion. 

Brittany and Briana chat for a bit before heading to their room to get some rest. Unfortunately, this prevents them from seeing the human trainwreck that is Farrah make the world’s most uncomfortable entrance…

Farrah is walking out to where the group is.

We all know she’s narrating this whole thing in her head like she’s on an episode of ‘E! True Hollywood Story’:

“Farrah walked out like the model that she is, clearly knowing that she’s worlds above the group she was about to see. She sashayed in, feeling the familiar heat from the set lights, which, although bright, were pale in comparison to Farrah’s stardom.” 

Farrah hears the cheers coming from the yard, as the other cast members do shots in honor of Briana not dying on the obstacle course. 

Gary and his hard nipples couldn’t be happier.

Farrah comes around the corner, and Gary tells us he sees “a familiar face.” 

Um…Farrah’s had like 15 different faces since the last time you saw her, Gar.

Not everyone is happy to see Farrah, though.

Ashley’s actual reaction to seeing Farrah…

“I feel a demonic presence!” Ashley tells the camera. “It’s creeping up on me!” 

Wait until she throws a bag of frozen peas at you and tells you to shut the hell up!

“Been there…”

Meanwhile, Cory looks shocked. (He’s probably never seen anyone who has been on even half as many crappy MTV reality shows as he has until this point.)

We are hit with a “To be continued…” screen, ending this week’s dumpster fire of an episode. 

That’s all for this week’s episode! 

The read The Ashley’s other ‘Teen Mom Family Reunion’ recaps, click here! 

(Photos: MTV) 

 

22 Comments

  1. I didn’t even read the re-cap to be honest, I can’t stand these trashy people and their 4th spin off of not actually having a real job I just had to point out the pure GLEE on Gary’s face 🤣🤣🤣🤣


  2. Does anybody notice the difference in facial expression between Gary and Amber when seeing Farrah?

    Amber’s got the “Oh god not her” look while Gary has that sheepish “kid in a candy store” grin.


  3. Guys, I went to check out Amber’s actual look on her original 16&P episode and I watched it! I haven’t watched the original 16&P and/or TM episodes since they aired… holy Scooby Snacks!

    First off, Amber’s mom is there and she’s driving a nice Pontiac, wtf? Ambie calls her dad and he’s all pissy with Garbear over the brand new PS3 he bought for $500 after he just spent $15 on a crib 😅 I remember hating him watching this when I was younger, he was also way older than I recalled.

    It’s unbelievably surreal watching this and realizing how everything worked out. And I miss the sincerity and genuineness of 16&P back then. May want to break my heart later by watching Cate & Ty’s.


    1. I always come here when I need a good laugh (SNL, you’ve got competition). This review was TOO funny! Thank you!


  4. Why yall hatin on Cory? He may not be THE BEST baby daddy there is, but he’s definitely makes the Top 5 list in my book:

    1) Gary
    2) Corey Simms
    3) Cory Wharton
    4) Jeremy
    5) Sean


        1. IDK she’s said before that if he’s not living with her then he doesn’t really help with Khloe. That may have changed, though, since he’s gone thru rehab.


        2. He HAS lived their off and on (when he isn’t in rehab), that’s what I meant by physically present.

          My Top 5 is based solely on the dads who are PHYSICALLY present (even if they don’t give any other type of support).


          1. Personally, I think it takes more than physically being there to be a good dad. I mean, we have Jo, Javi, Taylor, Tyler, Bar, Cole, and Devoin who are all physically present in their children’s lives.

            I feel like there are better options than Sean, but I can’t tell you you’re opinion is wrong, because it is your opinion.


          2. All good examples Mimi, but I’ve seen less and less of Jo and Javi as years go by so it leads me to wonder if they’re as involved as we’ve all given them credit for, Bar isn’t present much around Holly as a FATHER should be, nor is Devoin (although I do see effort on his part).

            Cole and Taylor are present for their children as well as the children that aren’t theirs (but not the BIOLOGICAL fathers Adam or Ryan)

            And I think Tyler is AMAZING father which is why I don’t understand why he’s always getting shit on?

            I’m purely talking physically present, if I had extended my list to more than just Top 5, they all certainly make the list.


      1. He’s physically there more than say…Ryan.

        Financially…I doubt it…idk. That’s why I said “maybe”.


  5. Briana you are nothing but a immature little girl that constantly wants to be the center of attention!!!! If you say you can’t breath then why are you screaming and shouting?!?! Grow up Briana and stop blaming everyone for your drama whenever it takes two to tango also stop hiding from battles that you start and depending on family members fight your battles that you start!!!


  6. Know what we need? A PARENT of Teen Mom FAMILY REUNION series!

    C’mon, picture either a tropical getaway or a snowed-in chalet with:

    Barb (Janelle’s mother)
    Debz (Farrahs’s mother)
    Roxanne. (Briana)
    Larry Edwards (Maci adjacent)
    Christy (Jade)
    Stephanie (Rachel Beaver)
    April (Catelyn)
    Butch (Cate & Tyler)

    I’m sure I forgot a few, so feel free to add to the list!


    1. OMG….Barb & April together?!! They’d either be the best if friends sharing a bottle of wine, it the worst of enemies fighting for the last Marlborough.
      I’d so watch that.

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