Farrah Abraham’s Hilarious Dating Profile Reveals She’s Looking For a Man Who Is Financially Secure, “Mentally Healthy” & “Non-Addicted”

“Ok guys, here’s your chance to date the Top Female Celebrity in our Nation!”

Farrah Abraham is looking for love– and seemingly her complete opposite. 

The former Teen Mom star took to social media recently to give fans a look at the  mile-long list of things she’s looking for in a life partner, The Sun reports, while also revealing the bio she’s presenting to unsuspecting victims these allegedly interested single men online. 

“To know me is to discover that I’m romantic, warm-hearted, fun-loving, authentic, supportive, spiritual, emotionally available, optimistic, family-oriented and a lifelong learner,” Farrah claims. 

“If Farrah’s ‘fun-loving’ and ‘warm-hearted,’ than I’m the rap equivalent of Elvis Presley!” 

She goes on to mention her daughter, whom she is “so proud of,” adding that she’s open to either having more children, or simply enjoying the families she and her future partner already have. Farrah also claims she’s “passionate about sharing quiet moments together” (as long as she can document them for social media, we presume). 

“ … doing the right thing, new experiences and adventures, learning and exploring life to its fullest, traveling near and far (does Bora Bora excite you?), cultural experiences, the feel of the sun on my skin, dark chocolate, my pets (I have a mini horse, peacocks, dogs and a cat!),” Farrah mentioned in her bio.  

“Um, don’t bring me into this mess. Also, neigh…”

“ … comedy, red carpets, holding hands and walking on the beach, romantic candlelight dinners,” Farrah lists as her ‘likes,’ before telling her potentially beaus that they better enjoy doing laundry, given that she likes “cool, clean sheets”…oh, and “the belief of the kind of love that lasts forever.”

As for what she’s specifically looking for in a suitor, Farrah said she’s “charmed by an intelligent man with a beautiful mind.” 

“You will be my hero if you are loving, compassionate, emotionally available, mentally healthy, a good communicator, supportive, authentic, spiritual, sensual, trustworthy, family-oriented, passionate, non-addicted, possess self-awareness and live with integrity,” she continued. 

“More than anything, you’ll be my hero if you pony up for an engagement ring and get me on another reality show.”

Farrah, who stated back in June that all of her future suitors will have to get “a psyche eval & brain scan,” didn’t mention any requirements of this sort in her dating profile, though she does want her future partner to be accomplished in his career and financially secure…just like her, apparently.

“ … so we can afford to play at the same level, including being able to travel and live a comfortable lifestyle,” she explained. “Bonus points if you have a wonderful smile, a great sense of humor, and a generosity of spirit … . 

“ … You are a man who has space for me in his heart and in his arms,” she added. “I will admire that you go after your goals and find space to balance relationship, play, family and personal time. You know how to give and receive love, and you value monogamy.”

Farrah also tells her possible boos that, if they want to be her lover, they better keep themselves in tip-top shape physically.

“You are motivated to stay healthy, handsome, and fit so we can spend many happy, quality years together,” Farrah states.

“Just you, me, and whatever new faces/body parts I obtain along the way.”

The real kicker in Farrah’s word salad dating profile is the fact that she promises potential mates a “respectful, drama-free, peaceful” relationship that is also “silly” and “loving.” 

“Will you join me?” Farrah asked.   

RELATED STORY: Farrah Abraham’s Mother Debra Danielsen & Former Best Friend Discuss Farrah’s Claims of Abuse, Her Sex Work & Her Father Michael

(Photos: MTV; Vh1; Instagram: YouTube)

22 Responses

  1. Is Farrah going to give up work then if she “values monogamy?” Her literal job is sleeping around. She’ll need a really rich man to support her then if she doesn’t have her own income anymore. Maybe she should slide into Elon Musk’s DMs.

  2. I hope that if she does find some unsuspecting victim who is willing to settle down with her and her many, many issues, that he does not have children. Imagine having Farrah for a stepmother. Yikes.

  3. I feel sorry for her poor daughter. Sophia is evidently struggling with depression, & I think getting piercings are her way of self-harm in a way. Meanwhile Farrah is simply blasting everything Sophia does (even talking with her counselor) on Instagram. It’s a terribly sad situation for Sophia. She’s not had one speck of a healthy childhood. Farrah seems to have zero respect or concern for her daughter’s well-being.

  4. This is more of a “I need a man who can financially support me because my own financial assets are dwindling faster than I thought they would.” plea, than it is one to find an actual life partner. She won’t be able to maintain the lifestyle she has, let alone the one she thinks she deserves, for much longer. She blows through money too quickly as it is right now to maintain it. Aside from her narcissistic tendencies and need for attention, she HAS to keep “selling herself to the media” in order to get financial gains. Her ability to do so by whoring herself out to men who have disposable income and don’t want anything more than a hookup has all but ceased after some of her procedures and public outbursts have left her marred for life. Even most (though not all) sugar daddies have some standards.

    She’s not the same Farrah she once was. Her looks, at one time, would be enough to sell her to pretty much any man and she had no problem finding them. Now, though, there are no lines down the block and around the corner to spend time with her, even for a little nookie. She’s desperate. It’s too bad she’s completely oblivious to the fact that she has nothing to offer anyone else. She has no real plan to improve her mental health which is quickly declining. That’s what prevents her from going anywhere in life.

  5. Delusional much? She kills me. What’s funny is, I don’t usually read info about Farrah simply because that’s wasted time I’ll never get back and she’s just not important whatsoever, but whenever I do decide to see what ole crazy is up to these days it’s pretty much same sh*t different day. She’s a nutcase and will always be a nutcase.

  6. This is champagne comedy!!!!
    She’s beyond delusional, we already knew that, will she expect matching his ‘n’ hers OF?

    She’s silly? She wants drama free?
    We need to start a tab for how long till she accuses a new bf of some sort of battery, per law!

  7. There are so few people that I have even heard of these days about whose lives the Ashley can regale me with these days. Catelynn and Tyler are just creepy, and dumb. Remember when they were going to college so become social services workers? And Macy who looks like she is headed down the warpath with the body paint. Not to mention she’s Bor-ing.
    But Amber and Farrah continue to entertain. Are we planning a college graduation party for the whole gang years? How many more children with incredibly unattractive men does Amber intend to lose custody of?
    And does anyone else think Farrah is just freakishly ugly? I mean really ugly? You look at teenage Farrah and she’s an attractive young woman. But my GAWD!

  8. You will be my hero if you are loving, compassionate, emotionally available, mentally healthy, a good communicator, supportive, authentic, spiritual, sensual, trustworthy, family-oriented, passionate, non-addicted, possess self-awareness and live with integrity….

    Well, I guess Farrah isn’t her own hero by that definition.

  9. Farrah, who stated back in June that all of her future suitors will have to get “a psyche eval & brain scan,”

    Suitors: Sure, you go first…..

  10. “Posses self-awareness” lolololol
    Although I do want to give Farrah a round of applause because she, in fact, did one very smart thing in her life: have just one daughter.
    Other trainwrecks from this show had 3/4 kids with several daddies but she stopped at one and that’s impressive

  11. “Kill it with fire” is the first thought I always have when I see her. (Not to give the guy she picks any suggestions for his first date.)

  12. She can land a pay pig type of sugar daddy who is way older, but is not interested in having a family with her.

    Guys within a certain age range are not interested, both in her looks, her past and her well documented behavior problems.

    Or she will get some young guy looking for internet clout, which he’ll soon realize, she has none.

  13. Man Who Is Financially Secure, “Mentally Healthy” & “Non-Addicted” He won’t be after dating her…

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