Trigger warning: This story contains information about abortion, miscarriage, domestic violence and overdose.
Amber Portwood has just released a new book about her life— and it’s full of jaw-dropping revelations!
In the new book— entitled So, You’re Crazy Too?— the Teen Mom OG star reveals that she had a secret abortion around the time she she was arrested for assaulting her ex Gary Shirley in 2010. However, Amber’s secret pregnancy and abortion— which she hid from the MTV cameras–was even more shocking because the baby was not Gary’s. Also interesting? It wasn’t Amber’s only secret pregnancy!
As old-school ‘Teen Mom’ fans will remember, Amber was filmed at least two times physically assaulting Gary— the father of her then-one-year-old daughter Leah. In one incident, Amber choked and punched Gary.
In another incident, she pushed him down a flight of stairs, resulting in her being arrested in November 2010. According to Amber’s book, Amber got pregnant by a random heroin addict and had the abortion somewhere in between these two incidents.
“When my ex [Gary] and I had broken up for a while because the fighting was so bad, I was hanging out with a heroin addict and I accidentally got pregnant,” Amber writes.
Amber writes that she knew she wasn’t able to take care of another child. Still, she says, she was reluctant to consider abortion.
“Not being able to handle something and having to terminate a life were worlds apart for me,” Amber writes. “I finally had an abortion, however it was devastating to me. Again, I do not know why I made the decisions I made during this time in my life.”
Amber was dealing with an opioid addiction during the time she was filming the first seasons of ‘Teen Mom,’ and states that her drug use played a part in the decision to have an abortion.
“I was on drugs and I didn’t know what I was doing half the time,” she writes. “I had nightmares about abandoning my unborn child. I cried uncontrollably for weeks afterward. I didn’t sleep and I lost a lot of weight.”
Amber goes on to say that she heard that the heroin addict who knocked her up had passed away recently.
“This news made me cry even though I had not seen or talked to him in years,” she writes. “I knew he was an addict and not long for this earth, but we conceived a child together so I always felt a connection with him.”
This was not the last of Amber’s unexpected pregnancies, however. She writes that she got pregnant by a guy she dated right after she was released from prison in December 2013. That pregnancy ended in miscarriage.
“When I miscarried after falling pregnant by a boy I dated for a few months right after prison, it shook me, even though I had no business having a baby with anyone else at that time in my life,” she wrote, adding that on the day of the miscarriage she remembers “trying to fish the thing out of my toilet for a long time.”
“I wanted to bury it and mourn its loss but I couldn’t get to it,” she wrote. “It’s was one of those moments in my life that I replay in my head over and over: me sobbing and trying to fish something out of a toilet for some inexplicable reason. I swear death just follows me around.”
Amber would go on to get pregnant at least two more times: once with ex-fiancé Matt Baier— a pregnancy that resulted in a miscarriage— and once with Andrew Glennon. Amber gave birth to their son, James, in May 2018.
You can order Amber’s book, So You’re Crazy Too? using the Amazon Affiliates link below!