‘Teen Mom: The Next Chapter’ Season 1B Episode 23 Recap: Bad Relatives & A Battle at Chilly Jilly’s

Me, knowing I have to recap an episode of this crap each week…

Howdy, fellow trash TV lovers! It’s time to check in again with MTV’s favorite not-so-underage breeders, the gals of Teen Mom: The Next Chapter! It’s basically business as usual in DumpsterFireVille, with Jade trying to wrangle her wayward parents, Catelynn dealing with her trashbox family (and those pesky bangs!) and Maci learning that Ryan continues to find new ways to destroy himself and those around him.

We start this clownfest off with a dirty-looking Catelynn asking for all the “tea” from the get-together in Florida. (I’m not trying being mean here; Cate actually looks like she just went for a roll in the mud with her therapy pig. There should be some sort of clause in their contract that requires them to hose off before getting on-camera.)

What all of us are thinking when we see Catelynn in this scene…

“The gals” all hop on a video call in their fake group chat to discuss what happened in Florida. Basically, Chey and Bri tell Catelynn and Maci that they all acted like seventh graders and played Truth or Dare and Bri was forced to give Devoyyyyyn a peck on the lips. Oh, and a lap dance.

OK…so slutty seventh graders but still…seventh graders.

We are forced to, once again, see Briana’s Dr. Miami-carved-up caboose grind all over Devoin’s no-no stick. 

Super. 

Kudos to whoever thought to throw one sad dollar bill onto this buffoonery…

It’s not all laughs and lap dances, though. Jade hops on the call and informs “the gals” (sans Ashley and Amber–who has been completely missing in action for the whole season thus far) that she has a lot of issues happening with her parents. 

“They’ve been, like, homeless. They haven’t been doing good, they’re at like rock bottom,” Jade says. 

It’s honestly hard to imagine that Christy could be lower than she was at this moment…

Jade confirms that Christy & Co. aren’t “no juiceheads” (in the words of the great Butch Baltierra). Instead, they’re using drugs, again, and Jade has been forced to cut them off, again.

Jade says that her parents’ druggin’ and do-baddin’ is making her depressed and ruining the fun of planning her wedding. 

Over in Vegas, Bar informs Ashley that Zach is taking a whole trip to Vegas to discuss what was posted online. (Again, #ThingsYouCanDoWhenYouDontHaveJobs)

Apparently, they can’t just call each other to settle the drama, they have to meet face-to-face.

Jobs, I’ll tells ya! They all need JOBS. Then they wouldn’t have time for this crap. Or, at the very least, constructive hobbies. Why not take up crocheting or something? 

Bar tells Ashley that he and Zach are going to try to come up with a way to “stop this s**t online.”

“You call it ‘s**t online,’ I call it trying to secure another season of this show!”

Um…Zach doesn’t need to use up his JetBlue points to fly to Vegas. I can solve this problem right now: you just STOP.

STOP running to social media every time someone does something you don’t like.

STOP talking crap on your co-stars and just ignore them.

STOP wasting your time worrying about this crap.

STOP looking like foolish middle school clowns who need something else to do.

But because this is Bad Girls Club ‘Teen Mom’, obviously no one can do that. Ashley is not happy that Bar wants to chat with Zach about what Cheyenne did, which, according to her, was banding “with a bunch of lying ass bitches.” 

Ashley is still sore that Cheyenne un-invited her to The Wedding of The Century because Ashley launched a saliva bomb at Briana during Family Reunion. She advises Bar to “be careful” when he meets with Zach.

“In other words, they promised to buy us each an meal, drink AND a dessert if we continue to put this crap on-camera.”

Meanwhile, Cheyenne tells her friends that Ashley is causing drama with the cast, but she’s happy Zach is going to meet up with Bar to discuss it.

Cheyenne says doesn’t want to address it herself because she’s “not a fighter anymore.”

“In other words: I know Ashley would tear me limb from limb, and this body cost too much money to ruin!”

Over in Indiana, Jade tells “the gals” that her mom and dad’s recent druggin’ is stressing her out. Her daughter, Kl-o-ee is, as per usual, buried in her tablet, as Sean calls Jade’s trusty pal, Chau, who has apparently moved to Vegas since the last time we saw her.

Sean asks Chau to come back to Indy to visit Jade in hopes that it will cheer her up.

Because this is ‘Teen Mom’— where the airline miles are apparently endless and no one has anything to do except hop on planes and jet off across the country at a moment’s notice— Chau arrives in Indiana within a few days. She is sitting in a car waiting to surprise Jade, who has no clue her friend has been flown in. Jade (and Cllloweeee) are thrilled to see Chau.

MTV, who, for some reason keeps trying to make “Chau” happen…

Jade runs home, packs a bag and her and Chau head to a hotel for the night, where they vow to “tear this place up.” Once they get there and open some wine, Jade tells Chau that her parents “haven’t had no where to live” and are basically just bouncing around town, with Christy just livin’ and, you know, shavin’ her cootie in a variety of rot-gut motels. Jade said she’s done trying to help her parents by giving them money and places to stay/shave.

Christy has admitted to Jade that she’s too deep into the druggin’ and needs to go to rehab. Jade is trying to get her into rehab but is still waiting to hear if one is available. 

Jade said she doesn’t feel right about having her wedding and being happy when she knows her parents are on drugs and homeless (and most likely sleeping on the air mattress they brought Jade home from the butt doctor on.)

When you flew all the way across the country and all your friend wants to do is drink cheap wine and cry…

The next day, Christy once again ruins Chau’s plans for a good time. Right before Chau and Jade are supposed to head to the spa, Christy gets on her burner phone and calls up Jade. Christy doesn’t want to chit-chat when she finds out Jade’s filming, though, so she  vows to bother Jade later. 

Not long after, the rehab facility calls Jade and tells her that state-funded insurance doesn’t cut it and that Christy & Co. are gonna have to shell out a boatload of cash if they want to shack up in the rehab’s Home for Pill-Popping Parents. Jade is distraught, knowing her mom and dad can’t afford it.

“I know you’re upset and all but…we can still get mani/pedis, right?”

Jade contemplates using all her wedding money and the money she’s saved for a new home to for her parents’ 20000th trip to rehab. She says she can’t do it, and then proceeds to tear down the car cameras and mics, Mackenzie Edwards-style, for some privacy.

Over in Michigan, Catelynn tells “the gals” about her own family problems. Cate is having problems with her little brother Nick — whom she basically raised since good ol’ April was too busy boozing and smashing pissers with mulleted drug addicts to make sure Nick stayed alive.

Catelynn claims Nick stole from her last year and then went on social media to bash her and Tyler. (You can read about that here.) Tyler tells Cate that Nick was their last sibling who hadn’t screwed them over, and that makes it even harder. Catelynn chows down on some food and tells Ty she’d like to talk to Nick and smooth things over.

Soon, though, she’s crying into her seven-point quesadilla.

“Throw Nick on the heap of awful family members, right on top of Butch and his candelabra!”

Later, Tyler helps the oldest Not-Carly with her eyeliner as Catelynn types out a long message to her brother. She can’t even read it without bursting into tears, showing how upset she is that her relationship with Nick has turned so sour. 

Nick actually responds to her message, saying he wants to fix things between them too, since it’s been a year since he was blamed for “s**t I didn’t even do.” 

Cate is put off by Nick’s condescending response, telling Tyler that, after they placed Carly for adoption, she basically just used Nick as the original Not-Carly.

OK but why is Tyler wearing Nova’s gymnastics outfit from the last episode?

Finally, we head to Tennessee to check in with Maci. She’s praising Ryan for being so open and honest with her, now that he and Macky E. are on the skids. Maci meets up with her pal Keelie for lunch and immediately orders a beer (per usual) and starts blabbing about her own life as Keelie is forced to listen. (It’s either listen or Keelie’s going to have to pay for her own Southwest Salad!) 

Maci tells Keelie that “maybe” some of the things Mackenzie said Ryan did are true, “but maybe they aren’t.”

UM.

“You can’t trust that Mackenzie! But Ryan– the drug-addicted, house-trashing, deadbeat dad? Now that’s someone I’m gonna believe!”

I can NOT, y’all.

Maci says that Ryan has “slipped up” and “relapsed for a day or two.” 

UMMMMMM!

I may not be a therapy horse or a Dr. Drew Addiction Specialist or whatever, but I do know that you don’t just go back to “casually” using heroin on the willy-nilly! This is ridiculous. Why are we acting like Ryan relapsing on HEROIN is like he smoked a cigarette after saying he was gonna quit?! 

Shockingly, Maci is not talking about the house Ryan trashed here…

Next we get the ominous music so we know Ryan done “slipped up” again.

The Ashley gets a surprise when she sees her own story headline (with the website’s logo cut off because, MTV never credits me). They reveal more about the house Mackenzie claimed Ryan trashed— the one they and their kids lived in. 

But, you know, “maybe he did maybe he didn’t,” right, Maci? (You can read about that here!

Hi, it’s me.

They also show the police body cam footage from Mack and the cops exploring her trashed home. 

Maci and Taylor discuss Ryan’s “redecorating” of his home, with Maci calling the video “concerning.” Taylor says it’s gut-wrenching to see a home where the kids lived completely destroyed. 

“I’m worried about Ryan,” Maci says.

UM!??! Are you concerned he got splinters in his hand when he was ripping the cupboard off the wall? What the actual hell?

Maci says she’ll have to talk to Bentley before he sees videos of Ryan’s house “re-do” on The Interwebs. Shockingly, they don’t show the actual convo Maci has with Bentley about his dad’s extreme home makeover. (They do take it right up until the point Maci asks Bentley to talk, though. Poor kid doesn’t even care anymore. He just wants to preen his mullet and play X-Box.) 

“But, you know, other than that, he’s doing good!”

Later, we get to see footage of Ryan being arrested. They have the timeline so screwed up here, because this footage is from Ryan’s arrest in February. All of what we have seen in this episode actually happened after Ryan’s arrest, so they already knew about it and were for some reason pretending it didn’t happen. 

JESUS GOD LEAH!

Later, Producer Kerthy meets up with Larry to find out what happened with Ryan. Larry tells Kerthy that he’s scared he will lose his only son. 

Meanwhile, the day has come for Zach to get on a whole ass plane and fly to Vegas just to talk to Bar. What a life!

They start playing this high-tension music as Bar and Zach make their ways to the meeting spot. They’re really building this up like they’re going to meet up in some abandoned spot in the Nevada desert, with Bar wearing his signature “Shoot Loops” T-shirt, and fight to the death over whose wife called whose wife a trashy ass ho or something.

All the build-up is even more ridiculous when we see where Bar and Zach are meeting: a place called “Chilly Jilly’s Bakery & Cafe.” 

I’m sure some of our nation’s most-brutal battles started at the Chilly Jilly’s…

I can’t, you guys…

Zach pulls his hood up to prepare for battle (as he walks through Chilly Jilly’s bright pink door). He sees Bar sitting at a booth. The battle music continues to play.

“Any chance you wanna fight AFTER we sample some of Jilly’s delicious malts and milkshakes?”

They greet each other with small talk about wearing shorts (as you do), and then get right down to business. Zach tells Bar that he knows he called the girls on the show “hos.” Bar admits he probably did make the ho comment. Just when we think Bar is going to come over the Pepto-pink table and strangle Zach (Jerry! Jerry!), he is basically just like, “Yeah, these women are dumb. It has nothing to do with us.”

COME ON. YOU FLEW ALL THE WAY TO VEGAS. SOMEONE NEEDS TO END UP IN A HEADLOCK.

They both talk about how pointless and dumb all the drama between the women is. Zach says that he wants to stop any drama between him and Bar before it gets too big. Bar agrees, and the guys basically share an order of Jilly’s french fries and have a sock-hop-date. 

“Wanna come over and listen to my new Elvis record?”

Ugh. I sure miss the days where people were just hitting their friends in the head with drumsticks on this show. Where’s Trashbag Tori when ya need her!?

The guys decide that the drama between Chey and Ashley can be fixed, but Bar says that Ashley will never be cool with her ‘Family Reunion’ sparring partner, Briana. 

After his date at the soda shop with Zach, Bar goes home to tell Ashley how things went. Ashley is uninterested.

Me, any time they regurgitate the Ashley/Cheyenne/fake body/Instagram bickering drama…

Meanwhile, Cheyenne is sitting in her MTV Mansion when her dad Kyle arrives. He basically tells Cheyenne to just end this nonsense because no one cares about it. 

THANK YOU.

That’s all for this episode! To read The Ashley’s recap of the previous episode of ‘Teen Mom: The Next Chapter,’ click here!

(Photos: MTV) 

20 Responses


  1. Why is maci defending Ryan??? I just don’t get it! Why does it seem like she thinks mckenzie deserved what happened to her. I know they didn’t have the best relationship, but does maci not realise the reason Mac didn’t like maci was because of all the stuff Ryan had told her about maci, along with the fact it’s clear there’s still feeling’s there.
    Ryan has majorly fucked up, which has huge ramifications for Bentley and his siblings. Surely she should be focusing on helping out Bentleys mental health and emotional well being, not Ryan’s. It wouldn’t surprise me if Ryan and maci got back together in 20 years


  2. If we bring back Jenelle to fight, then we have to bring back Farrah and Kail too lolololol

    Make it a battle of shitty moms and throw in Mama June and Jenn Harley too!


  3. Why am I obsessed with the amount of takeout Tyler and Cate always have around?????

    Also, they had two enormous French Vanilla Coffee Mate creamers sitting out on the counter that needed to be refrigerated.

    I need a life.


    1. I h8 cuz Cait refuses to get serious about her weight. I’m not shaming her, I’m working on my weight also. I don’t expect her to be a size 3 like she was before her kids. BUT she is alwayz stuffing her face every episode. She clearly is an emotional eater. She clearly is still battling hard with her mental health. It seems like has given up on herself. I know at this point, her body hurts from that weight on her joints. And I know her digestive tract is a mess. HELP YOURSELF CHICK!!!


  4. It’s obvious Maci is still thirsty as hell for that muppet Ryan. Also, why dose Cate always look like a 40 year old Karen who just stepped out of her local Curves??


    1. Please read my comment. We are long the same lines of thought. Why does Cait look so “not good”? Like not taking herself like she should. I mean Tyler is a dick when it comes to her weight. And I get it, Tyler doesn’t care cuz his arrow is pointing in a totally different direction. But take pride in yourself.


  5. Anyway, I just want to say I love The Ashley, as The Ashley is literally the only source of truth in this whole mess, and the only reason I know a bit of what’s happening with the NO-LONGER-teen -mom world… On that note, MTV doesn’t credit her for the exact reason! I’m here for The Ashley, not for “TEEN MOM”!


  6. Is it sad that I kind of want it to go to Teen Mom – Bad Girls Club edition? Just duke it out. Bring back the drama we loved to watch 10 years ago. Just punch a bitch in the face. Let’s gooo

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