Rachel Leviss is ready to talk about her life during and after her affair with her Vanderpump Rules co-star Tom Sandoval, and claims she will be revealing “the good, the bad, the ugly, all of it” in her new podcast, Rachel Goes Rogue.
While the first full-episode of Rachel’s podcast will not be available until January, the former SUR waitress released an extended trailer this week, giving potential listeners an idea of what’s to come. In the trailer, Rachel stated that one of her biggest regrets is agreeing to sign on to film for ‘VPR’ Season 10.
“I already made a mistake by returning to Season 10,” Rachel— who will not appear on Season 11– stated. “Looking back at that season, I was at my lowest of lows.”
As fans of the show may know, Season 10 began filming shortly after Rachel ended her engagement to ‘Vanderpump Rules’ cast member James Kennedy. Rachel admits she should’ve “taken the time to heal and find a therapist” after the breakup, claiming the “no contact policy” she had with James was nearly impossible, as they had to work and film together.
“ … and he’s flaunting his new girlfriend [Ally Lewber] that he met three weeks after I ended the engagement, that hurt,” Rachel continued, claiming that her ex’s ability to move on so quickly made her question if he ever really loved her.
Rachel mentions that she was also “drinking a ton” during Season 10.
“This is not an excuse,” she said. “I’m just point-blank, like, I was not in a good mental space. And in knowing that, I’m learning from my mistakes.”
Rachel added that looking back and seeing how much pain she was in during her on-camera interactions with James played a part in her decision to not return to the show for Season 11.
“ … I could only imagine the pain that I would cause by filming in the same environment with [Sandoval’s ex] Ariana [Madix], because being involved with somebody’s boyfriend while they’re still in a relationship is a huge betrayal and so painful, as it is,” she said.
“But to continue working with these people and interacting with them, maybe not even speaking, but like, hearing about what they’re doing, and seeing your person that you loved so much and thought that they loved you just as much as you loved them be conversing with this other person, it would just be so catastrophic.
“I didn’t want to do that to Ariana,” she continued. “I didn’t want to put her in that position.”
Rachel admits that Season 10 “is a really difficult season to watch back,” though she’s now able to recognize the pain she was in at that time.
“ … I’m just cringing at all of the things and all of the moments that they caught on camera. It’s really embarrassing,” she said. “But I see a girl that is going through pain and doesn’t have the right tools to tackle it. She’s coping in the way that she feels like her needs are being met by someone who’s giving her adoration and attention.
“And I really did not prioritize my friendships when I got involved with Tom and I regret that a lot,” she added.
Rachel said that, aside from the Instagram comment she received from Sandoval on her birthday, she hasn’t heard from anyone on the cast and doesn’t “really necessarily want to hear from any of them.”
Looking back on the relationship between her and Sandoval has made the “red flags clear as day,” she said, despite what they had once seeming “so special” and “so real.” Rachel said realizing this helped her completely cut Sandoval out of her life.
“ …Once I was broken out of denial and realized how manipulative he is, I couldn’t put myself in a situation where, at my most vulnerable state, it would probably just get me back in those old patterns that I’m trying to break free from,” she said.
After retreating to a “trauma therapy center” in Arizona for a few months amid the Scandoval fallout, Rachel said she is happy to be back in Los Angeles.
“This is the place that I grew up so it feels like home,” she said. “It’s warm, I’m seeing some of my friends that I haven’t seen in a very long time.”
On Rachel’s new podcast, she will also discuss the work she did with different therapist during her time at the therapy center, along with behavioral patterns that were addressed.
The first full-episode of Rachel Goes Rogue drops January 8. Click here to watch the full trailer.
(Photos: Bravo; Instagram)