Note from The Ashley: Yes, we are a bit behind on the ‘Sister Wives’ recaps, but we are working to catch up! Here’s last week’s recap. Sunday’s episode recap will be posted soon!
Drive your fleet of moving trucks to a piece of vacant land, throw it in park and pray that you don’t discover that your collection of “live, laugh, love” signs have been stolen when you return…
It’s time for another episode of Sister Wives!
This week’s episode kicks off in North Carolina, where Maddie has yet to give birth to her second bathtub baby. After realizing things are going to be moving quite slowly, she checks in with her midwife and gets the OK to drive two hours back to her and Caleb’s house, where she’ll likely settle in just as it’s time to turn around, drive back to the birthing center and shoot the Grandspawn ‘o’ Kody from her loins.
All risks aside, Maddie says she just wants to sleep in her own bed and not have to deal with her dad barging in every hour to torment her son and swipe all the complimentary bottles of conditioner from her hotel shower.
Unfortunately for Maddie though, before hopping a plane back to Arizona, Kody plans to hang around for another night to play with Axel, hang out with Caleb and more importantly, avoid Sobbin’ Robyn and a Not-Very-Merry Meri.
Back at Maddie and Caleb’s house, the group has a riveting discussion on weather, which leads Janelle to tell Kody and Christine that she doesn’t see Maddie’s family making their way back out west to live; however, she does believe Maddie will try to convince her siblings to move to the East Coast. Based on the nonsense the Browns have pulled this season, Maddie could sit her siblings down for a ‘Sister Wives’ Season 14 marathon and we’re sure that would do the trick.
Someone who doesn’t need convincing is Ysabel, who is already looking into
escaping leaving Flagstaff to come live with Maddie and Caleb. Everyone in the house appears to be up to speed on Ysabel’s plan except for Kody—- a strategic move on Christine’s part.
Christine says she honestly thought Kody “was more aware of Ysabel’s plans”— despite no one ever mentioning anything to him—and she thinks the move would be a good thing.
“I have always been on Team ‘Get Them Out of the House,’” Christine says.
Caleb tells Ysabel that she’s more than welcome to move to North Carolina to be his and Maddie’s built-in babysitter, but Kody isn’t as supportive of the idea… mainly because it wasn’t his own. He says he doesn’t want to keep Ysabel “in prison”—I mean, it’s not like she’s one of his wives or something!—but he’d rather her go to school in Flagstaff.
Kody then compares his family to cattle, which is somehow one of the least offensive things he’s done this season.
Before finally heading back to Arizona, Kody says he needs to find out what’s going on with Ysabel’s possible move to North Carolina. Most of all, he wants to know if Maddie will continue “attracting” more of her siblings to flee their parents’ rental homes, thus ruining his dreams of one day living compound-style on Coyote Pass.
Also currently crushing Kody’s dreams are his wives, whom he fears will want to spend holidays with their adult children outside of the dream living situation he’s created for them in Flagstaff.
Honestly…I would assume that any time a Sister Wife got to leave Flagstaff (and Kody) temporarily they would consider it a vacation…even if it’s just to get, like, a colonoscopy or something.
According to Kody, this would be the ultimate betrayal and it would basically tear the family apart.
Kody then says some awkward goodbyes to his family and heads back to Flagstaff to venture out to Coyote Pass with Robyn and Dayton, that latter of whom, based on his obligatory participation in these recent moving truck scenes, looks like he’d rather be anywhere— even birthing a baby in a bathtub in North Carolina— than Coyote Pass.
Robyn and Kody have yet to close on their house and we learn that they are being held up because they have to provide additional documents regarding their financials… as in all of their financials. Yet another fun perk of being in a plural marriage!
While they wait, Kody says they’re paying daily for the four rental trucks that are still holding all of their crap on Coyote Pass and paying to rent the home that they’re trying to buy… one which they aren’t even allowed to move into yet.
Robyn says mortgages can be tricky when it comes to plural marriage and to that we say, “add it to the list!”
Because they’re technically living out of moving trucks at the moment, Robyn and Kody decide to do some digging in the trucks to find some toys for the kids to play with, and, if they’re lucky, the commonsense and good judgement that has clearly been misplaced along the way.
On a completely unrelated note, Kody tells us that since moving from Las Vegas, he’s had a hard time sleeping and because of
all the guilt he’s carrying this, he has “about 15 different pillows” that he keeps in rotation.
After all of that polygamist pillow talk, Kody and Robyn talk about the fact that they’re nearly homeless at the moment and we learn that Kody has convinced Robyn that it’s completely her fault, despite Kody being the one to push the family out of their happy homes in Las Vegas and into random rental after random rental in Flagstaff.
Kody tells Robyn that even though they should’ve put an offer in on a house earlier, he doesn’t blame her, even though she is the one who had her heart set on finding that miracle, sent-from-God rental home.
Kody tells Robyn they have the rental trucks for another five days, after which, he may get a storage unit to house his pillow collection until their home (or literally any home) becomes available. Like most things, this news upsets Robyn.
Robyn further proves her frustration by telling Kody she’s still keeping an eye out for available rentals, though Kody has another suggestion.
Later on, Kody and
his cast mate wife Meri head to Las Vegas to see the hardest working woman in the entire state of Nevada: their therapist, Dr. Nancy. (For those of you who are geographically challenged and don’t realize how ridiculous this is: Flagstaff is nearly a four-hour drive to Las Vegas. W…T…F…)
Meri (stating the obvious) says things between her and Kody have been rocky for quite a while and on occasion—aka when they run out of things to film on the show—they visit Dr. Nancy to address it.
Kody says “it’s time” to figure out what’s going on in their relationship. Not to mention, it gets him out of sorting through moving trucks for baby dolls and LEGOs with a crying Robyn for the afternoon, so there’s that.
Upon their arrival to Dr. Nancy’s office, Kody and Meri are reminded of the hefty patient file they’ve racked up over the years and probably all of the bills to Dr. Nancy’s office that they racked up along with it.
Despite being co-contributors to this hot mess of a marriage, Kody and Meri seem oddly surprised to see their issues scribbled onto paper and stacked up in a pile thicker than a phone book.
Dr. Nancy kicks off the appointment by asking Kody and Meri for a rundown of what’s happened in the year-and-a-half since she last saw them. Yes, Kody and Meri’s folder is that thick and it doesn’t even touch on the Las Vegas to Flagstaff debacle. Buckle up, Nance!
Meri says even though she and Kody have grabbed dinner a couple of times, they aren’t really “working the muscle” that is their relationship.
(Why does my mind automatically go to Meri and Kody sex when I hear the phrase “working the muscle?” Be right back— have to go flush my brain out with bleach…)
Anyway, Kody agrees with Meri that there marriage is a bigger mess than the moving trucks on Coyote Pass.
“Well I don’t disagree with that, but I think that’s just a cliche,” he says. “We’re family but we’re not acting married.”
Meri tells Dr. Nancy that Kody said he doesn’t want to work things out with her until things are in good standing with everyone else—meaning Meri’s relationships with the older children in the family as well as the other wives. Meri admits that she’s close with some of the adult children in the family but not so close with others.
Kody notes that Meri has great relationships when it comes to business, but not so much when it comes to the family.
Dr. Nancy tells the couple she’s concerned that they’ve made little to no progress over 18 months, something Kody attributes to there still being some hurt feelings remaining from Meri’s catfishing scandal as well as things that were happening before.
DEAR.GOD.NOT THE CATFISH SCANDAL AGAIN! Lord, save me from this nightmare!
“The catfishing was really just a wake-up call for Meri and I,” Kody says. “Our problem ran much deeper than that and it’s probably why we led up to why the catfishing even happened.”
Kody says he regrets what he and Meri had and is instead looking to the future of what they will have, which he doesn’t believe Meri is doing. Meri says she knows what they had is gone but admits that it’s a difficult thing to mourn while still being in a relationship with him. She says she doesn’t know how to wrap her head around this (honestly, same) and she reveals that people often ask her why she doesn’t just leave.
Kody then puts on his Dr. Nancy hat to tell Meri that she has some healing of her own to do before they can fix their relationship and he accuses her of frequently playing the victim.
Oh, and he shows signs of complete delusion.
But don’t be mistaken! Kody does cop to some of his own faults, including his “rescue complex,” his desire to always makes things better and his need to “fill up a love tank.”
After that last comment, we’d really like Kody to make good use of his “rescue complex” by rescuing us from this nonsense he’s spitting. Unfortunately, we soon learn that’s not the direction this therapy session is moving towards.
“Something has triggered me and I am angry,” Kody says. “In this relationship, it’s gotten to the point where I am just done with hearing how I am wrong. I am not stepping into this to sit there and be ridiculed again.”
Kody then one-ups himself by telling Meri and Dr. Nancy that he feels like he was “deceived into a relationship that was very different” than what he expected. He says he and Meri had a “very fast courtship” with a lot of expectations and not a lot of communicating.
“ …and I didn’t know who I was marrying and as things unfolded, I started to become very troubled, even bitter, by the situation I was in,” he continues.
Um, you chose to marry her Kody. It’s still your fault.
Kody goes on to say he was basically ready to be done with his marriage to Meri, but he couldn’t walk away because he made a commitment. (And then he made another commitment, and another commitment and another commitment.)
Just when we think Kody is finished roasting Meri in Dr. Nancy’s office, he accuses her of mistreating other people and even Dr. Nancy seems to agree, suggesting that Meri can be a defensive person. While it appears that Dr. Nancy has gone full Kody-Mode, she tells Kody he’s not off the hook just yet… but first she needs a break to “collect her thoughts” and also rethink her career choice.
After a quick break, Dr. Nancy resumes the session by instructing Kody and Meri on an exercise that addresses what matters most to them in a relationship. When it comes time to share, Meri says she values kindness, being genuine and having interaction. Kody says he also values kindness, as well as trust, compassion and integrity.
They are then asked to write the factors that prevent them from achieving these things, followed by behaviors and ideals that contribute to different feelings and emotions. (Think MadLibs meets therapy meets a painful dental procedure.)
After throwing some shade at Kody for always needing to get his way and at Meri for being a control freak, Dr. Nancy tells the dysfunctional duo that their assignment is to work on control together. Their first test? Control the urge to go off on each other during that long drive back to Flagstaff.
That’s all for this week!
On the next episode of ‘Sister Wives’, Maddie assumes her position in the bathtub to pop out baby number two and Kody and Robyn remind us all that polygamy and purchasing a house go together like Kody and a hairbrush. (Not at all.)
To read The Ashley’s previous ‘Sister Wives’ recaps, click here!