Trigger Warning: This story contains mentions of sexual assault.
Kalani Faagata opened up this week about her troubled marriage to Asuelu Pulaa and shared her take on things that may have contributed to the issues in their relationship-– other than Asuelu’s cheating, that is.
Kalani took to Instagram this week for a Q&A, during which she opened up about the ways in which she feels religion played a part in her decision to remain a virgin until she was almost 29 years old, and how some of the church’s teachings seemingly “f**ked [her] up” sexually. (Kalani was raised in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, aka the Mormon Church but she is no longer part of the religion.)
As 90 Day: The Last Resort viewers know, Asuelu’s multiple instances of cheating have been a main storyline for the couple this season, along with Kalani’s interest in Hall Pass Guy, (aka Dallas Nuez), whom she became interested in after Asuelu offered her a “hall pass” to kiss another man.
(Kalani and Dallas’s encounter ultimately escalated and the two had sex. Kalani admitted on the show she has feelings for Dallas, and despite blocking him from contacting her during most of the retreat, the two ended up spending the night together when he flew in to see her.)
In her Q&A, Kalani was asked how growing up Mormon ended up affecting her sex life, even after marriage.
“One of the books in our home was on ‘healthy’ sex in marriage and I really think it f**ked me up lol,” Kalani said, noting the book wasn’t written by the heads of her church, but was purchased from the church bookstore. “[It] talked about how to be a good wife you ‘sacrifice’ giving it up even if you don’t feel like it. Talked about how biblically, husbands are entitled to your body, no consent needed. That men ‘need’ sex, and women can take it or leave it.”
Kalani’s comments come just weeks after she seemingly accused Asuelu of impregnating her with their second son via sexual assault.
“I had a second baby because I was held down,” Kalani told fans on Instagram earlier this month. “[Asuelu] apologized for that, and the other times I was [sexually assaulted]– it’s recorded.”
Kalani told fans this week that she “never felt like sex was for me.”
“I figured sometimes it was better to just turn my head, cry and pinch my arm to try to leave my body,” she continued. “Then you add the church’s teachings of the importance of saving yourself and all the ‘no one wants a licked cupcake’ or ‘no one wants a chewed stick of gum’ rhetoric.
“Yeah, me and my therapist had an interesting time breaking that down,” she added.
Kalani was also asked if it was ever OK for married men to go to a strip club, as Asuelu, Ed Brown and Jovi Dufren were seen doing on the most recent episode of ‘The Last Resort.’
According to Kalani, “it’s disrespectful and cheating in my eyes.”
“Not interested in any boy obsessed with seeing boobs and getting boners with his friends,” she added. “Be a man or be a teenager, you can’t be both.”
She also pointed out that the “90 Day”
men boys knew they were being filmed while at the boobie bar and still chose to act the way that they did.
“If what was shown on TV was men knowing they’re being recorded, I couldn’t imagine what they do without the cameras!” Kalani wrote.
“If my significant other wouldn’t want me rubbing my bare titters and cooter cat on someone else, then they shouldn’t be paying to have someone do that to them,” she added.
In response to a follower who insisted to Kalani that “two rights don’t make a wrong” regarding Kalani’s decision to pursue Dallas, the mom of two claims she wasn’t trying to “make s**t right” when she cashed in her hall pass. She was simply giving her two-timing husband a taste of his own medicine.
“My New Year’s resolution was to treat people how they treat me,” she explained. “I’m not a ‘take the high road’ kinda b*tch anymore, if you paved this mofo, I’mma drag you back down it with me. [I] spent too many years being a codependent, people-pleasing doormat. That version of me is dead.
“And technically, I have like 11 wrongs to go,” she added, referring to the many times Asuelu was unfaithful throughout their relationship.
New episodes of “90 Day: The Last Resort” air Mondays on TLC. Click here to catch up on what’s been going on, via The Ashley’s recaps!
(Photos: TLC; Instagram)