Derick Dillard Says He & Wife Jill Aren’t Actually Against Birth Control; Reveals That They Avoid Being Alone with People of Opposite Sex

“Listen up, fellas!”

Former Counting On star Derick Dillard is following his wife Jill Dillard’s lead by serving up some unsolicited advice on “hot love” because, according to him, it’s what the people want. 

(Feel free to insert gagging noises here!) 

In his post (and the comments that resulted from it), Derick revealed some surprising things about his relationship with Jill—  including that they refuse to be in the same room alone with a person of the opposite sex. He also wrote that they use an Internet restriction device to help keep themselves away from those devilish, tempting websites and…that they are not against birth control, as most Duggar family members have stated they are! 

“A daughter of mine using birth control?! Where are my smelling salts? I feel faint!”

Derick’s post, entitled “Hot Love: How to Love Your Wife Like You Mean It,” was shared to the Dillard Family blog and is a followup to Jill’s “More Than Sex: How to Love Your Husband,” that we were all gifted with earlier this summer.

“Alrighty, so recently Jill wrote a post on [our blog] about how wives can love their husbands, and it was apparently a really big hit,” Derick wrote. “She also told me that she received a lot of feedback that the ladies would like me to write a post to husbands about how we can better love our wives.” 

In other words, we have Jill to thank for this. 

“You’re welcome!”

Here are some of the most-interesting revelations were learned from Derick’s post…

Derick & Jill refuse to be alone in a room with a member of the opposite sex.

Derick stated in his blog that he and Jill do whatever they can to avoid being caught in a room alone with a person of the opposite gender. (There will be no shady, on-the-side side hugs for the Dillards, y’all!) 

Derick admitted that this can be a bit tricky to accomplish at times, given that they live in a world of sinners.

“Sometimes this is hard and requires more intentionality,” he wrote. “For example, if I have a private meeting with a female, I may choose to leave the door open, or if Jill needs a repairman to come work on something at the house when I’m gone then she might invite a friend over while he’s there.

“We realize though that safeguards alone aren’t enough…it is more about the heart and commitment to purity, but they may be helpful in reducing the prevalence of some situations, or even just the appearance of evil,” he added.

Derick did not state if this same rule goes for family members of the opposite sex. 

Derick & Jill have lots of sex…

In true Fundie-fashion, Derick’s list doesn’t leave out the obligatory part about jumping each other’s bones and remaining “joyfully available.”

“Have lots of good sex! You both need this time together regularly (5-6 times (or more) a week is a good start),” he writes.

While Jill keeps her shaggin’ schedule aimed at a more modest “3 to 4 times a week,” Derick and Jill are on the same page when it comes to keeping themselves “joyfully available” to get down whenever, wherever.

Over the last few months, we’ve learned more about Derick and Jill’s sex life than we ever wanted to know. In July, Jill shared that she and Derick like to use a clean, Christian version of the sex manual the Kama Sutra to keep things hot in their bedroom.

She insisted, though, that she and Derick “don’t practice anything unbiblical.” However, for the Dillards, it doesn’t always have to be basic baby-making sex.

“When you may not be able to actually have intercourse for a period of time or for health issues, find other ways to have fun and be intimate,” he wrote in his blog. “Let your spouse know that you’re always available.”

Our faces when Derick and Jill talk about their sex life…

Derick and Jill save up their sexy-time for each other.

In her post, Jill told her followers that you should “guard against fulfilling sexual desires alone.” (Translation: don’t masturbate!)

Derick confirmed that he also refrained from wacking the funky monkey solo.

Derick and Jill agree on their financial decisions.

Derick encourages married couples to be on the same page when it comes to finances, which would actually be a good piece of advice if it weren’t coming from the guy who has begged fans for cash on more than one occasion. 

“The couple that grifts together, stays together!”

As The Ashley previously told you, the Dillards were accused in 2015 of misusing mission trip money that was donated by their fans. In 2017, Derick created a fundraising page on Pure Charity, once again claiming to be accepting cash for mission trips. (The page was ultimately shut down due to claims that it was in violation of the site’s Terms of Use for Registered User Conduct.)

Derick & Jill have spent every night of their marriage together.

Derick revealed that, since their wedding day in June 2014, he and Jill have not spent a night away from each other. (That explains how they have so much time to hump like rabbits!)

“It may not always be this way, but so far, Jill and I have managed to spend every single night together since we’ve been married,” Derick says. 

(In case you suck at math, that equates to 1,887 nights in a row.)

Honestly, coming from Derick, this sounds more like a threat.

Derick and Jill don’t trust themselves (or each other!) to use the Internet unfiltered.

“I guess I won’t be coming over to your house to ask to use your Internet!”

Jill’s family has warned us about the dangers of the Internet, and her brother Josh has learned firsthand just how unholy the World Wide Web can be. Derick says that he and Jill take precautions against getting caught up in that Satan-filled Web by placing guards on their Internet-surfing capabilities.

“It is really important to both of us that we have some kind of internet filtering service on our phones and laptops, so we decided to pay for a monthly Covenant Eyes filtering subscription and also limit some accessibility on our devices to help us be accountable to each other,” Derick wrote. “We also share our social media passwords with each other.”

Derick and Jill (GASP!) are down to use birth control.

“Sometimes the smell of my cooking makes Derick run out of the house. That kind of counts as birth control, no?”

After sharing the link to Derick’s “hot love” tips on Instagram, Jill’s post was hit with some comments questioning how the couple hasn’t had more children, given their frequent banging sessions and supposed lack of birth control. (The Duggars have famously stated that they refrain from using birth control because they want to have as “many babies as God will give” them.)

Surprisingly, Derick shut down one of those “misconceptions” in a comment on Jill’s Instagram page.

“We never said we don’t believe in birth control… misconception (no pun intended) #547324,” he replied. “My parents waited 11 years to start having kids, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Each Christian family should follow God’s leading for their own family, regarding when and how many kids to have.” 

While Derick didn’t confirm that he and Jill are currently using birth control to prevent pregnancy, that does explain how Jill has managed to keep herself un-sperminated for several years, unlike many of the other married women in the Duggar family, most of whom are pregnant currently

To check out Derick’s full blog post, click here! 

RELATED STORY: Jill Dillard Clarifies Post About Her Sex Life: States She & Husband Derick Don’t Get Freaky With Regular Kama Sutra: “[We Don’t] Practice Anything Unbiblical!”

(Photos: TLC; Instagram)

71 Responses

  1. [* Shield plugin marked this comment as “Trash”. Reason: Failed Bot Test (checkbox) *]
    Why are ya’ll so negative about things like not being alone with a member of the opposite sex or internet filters? My stepdad was a pastor and had the same rule about being alone with members of the opposite sex. I know several important men and women who practice this as well. As a Christian, it is important to be vigilant to protect your and others reputations and something as simple as 2 married people of the opposite sex being seen alone in a car or at a restaurant with someone other than their spouse can start untrue rumors. I have experienced it myself simply from having a close friendship with an employer of the opposite sex who was 20 years older than me. People will spread rumors so it’s smart to protect yourself. Heck, just look at our President and his reputation. I’m not saying he is a good, Christian man, far from it. However, If he had practiced this in the past, maybe he would have a better reputation. Just saying.

  2. These ppl are so sexually repressed, once they’ve been allowed to discover it they act like that’s all a marriage is about, just sex. Which is sad. They are so busy trying not to feel guilty, justifying to the world why, how, & when they do the nasty b/c they think we are all as obsessed with judging them for doing it as they are for judging themselves. Ive always found it fascinating that religious conservatives can be the most sexually nosy people, wanting to share tmi, constantly worried about perception and other peoples sex lives. Dont advise how to handle a man, girl, when your marriage is the blind leading the blind. That would be the damn day my husband puts parental monitoring on our devices for ME or instates a rule that I cant be alone with a male. GTFO with that, doesnt he have better things to do, like earn a living, instead of making his wife out to be a job that needs supervision? Yikes

  3. The only comment I know of about birth control from the family is that Michelle and Jim Bob believed her taking birth control is what caused her to lose a baby after Josh so they chose not to take it and that’s were they got that mentality. I don’t believe any of the kids have mentioned they do not believe in it.

  4. What gives jill n husband knowledge about sex. She has never been with another man. Has no sexual experience probably lays like a dead fish in bed.

  5. Actually, they were married in November of 2016, and found out eleven months later that Jinger was pregnant. They still waited longer than the other couples, though. I’ve read that they want to wait until Felicity is about two, before they try to have another one.

    1. Correction: They did get married in November of 2016. But Jinger didn’t have Felicity until July 18, 2018.

  6. “How to love your wife like you mean it.” I mean, I would hope that married couples actually do love each other and mean it, but these two (along with all of the other Duggar couples) only knew each other for months before getting married and immediately procreating, so of course they are going to have to work extra hard to feel that they are actually in love.

    1. Jinger and Jeremy didn’t procreate right away (if my memory serves me correctly, they were married for 2-3 YEARS before they had baby Felicity).

    2. Agreed Willow. They make it sound so hard to be in a loving, healthy relationship, lol. Plus, if I’m looking for marriage advice, I’m not gonna listen to what a couple of twenty-something year old reality TV “stars” have to say. So cringey and insincere.

    3. I agree, but not only that – they weren’t allowed to be alone with each other in those few months of engagement. Supposedly to prevent them from having sex, but obviously they’re not going to have in depth conversations with each other either when they’ve got “chaperones” (a lot of times their own younger siblings). Also, as anyone who has dated can tell you, the first few months you’re on your best behavior – no farts, no PMSing, generally you don’t notice how dumb the other person can be on certain subjects because hormones and rainbows are flying out of their butts. At least when you’re young and dumb dating. I feel bad for most of the Duggar women, besides Jinger, because their husbands are no prize and besides Austin, Derick seems the worst.

      1. You had to mention farts. LOL! I married into a family of three boys, and they’re all horrible about it.

  7. This article was so gag worthy. Why have they decided that they can give marriage advice? And the way the do it is like that’s the ONLY successful way to have a perfect marriage. That guy just creeps me out

  8. What I find so fascinating about these two (and Ive only read about them on here…never watched the show) is: I think they honestly believe they’re being “risque” or forward-thinking (fundie-style of course). They’re so isolated from the way the rest of society thinks, that when they reveal these things they think they’re being really hip and modern. Most super christians Ive ever known are like this. (Like, check out this totally hip Christian rock band…look how rebellious I am.) Lol, but the rest of us are scratching our heads and getting a little freaked out that not only do people really live this way, but they have FANS who look to them for guidance? I mean, to each their own. But if it has to be this hard, it seems doomed to fail.

    1. I concur EB, if they believed in divorce I’d imagine Derick would definitely be on the chopping block. Especially considering how he’s cost Jill a spot on the show with his “beliefs” and attacking others. Josh’s wife should be firat, but she’s too brainwashed.

      1. Agreed Pain in the Ash. I don’t fault them for being religious, but I don’t like this “stand by your man…no matter how much he humiliates and disrespects you” crap. I mean, if the women behaved half as badly as their husbands, none of them would even question the husbands getting a divorce. I dunno, just seems like they’re trying too hard to force something hopeless. What’s wrong with finding a relationship with the almighty internally? Why the need for the silly theatrics?

        1. I agree @EB, there’s a point when couples are disrespected and/or humiliated where someone needs to say, “enough is enough”!

          1. @Hannah- yep. I don’t know much about the Duggars, but the extreme obedience to your man thing is a bit creepy.

  9. When you have been brought up repressing all sexual thought as “bad”, and suddenly have a license to have sex all the time. No, this does NOT make you an expert. None of these “ideas” are anything new.
    And if you need a neutral party to monitor your web browsing, maybe you just need to grow up.

  10. I think the not being alone with someone unrelated of the opposite sex is a cultural/generational thing. My parents and inlaws are the same way. I think Javi mentioned this once too. I don’t find it weird. I don’t like being alone with repair men personally and try to schedule them when my husband or someone else can be there. Only because I am a woman and don’t necessarily like to be alone with strange men. ?‍♀️ The sex 5-6 times a week is whatever as long as they both want to do it that frequently and enjoy it. I think they are using birth control and as someone who had one rough delivery I can certainly understand Jill not wanting to repeat that any time soon. The internet thing is weird, just don’t go to those sites. Unless you have a p0rn problem it seems unnecessary. I mean we didn’t really need to know that much about your personal sexual life but okay.

    1. You are correct!! It is a cultural/generational thing. I don’t mean this as an insult to your parents or in laws, but the older generation IS more responsible!!! Most of the younger generation still has ALOT of growing up to do. Let’s not forget that these two are still in their 20’s. And even though they are parents, they are still VERY immature. Which only makes me worry about Israel and Samuel even more because history often repeats itself, so what’s to say that they won’t have as hard of a time growing up/maturing as their parents? And as far as the Javi thing, he obviously didn’t “practice what he preaches”.

    2. I don’t like being alone in the house with repairmen because they are strangers – that’s different than never being alone with someone of the opposite sex. The only example he can give for his wife is a repairman because she would never have any other opportunity to be alone with someone of the opposite sex – she doesn’t work outside the home and apparently all she really does 5-6 times a week is lay on her back staring at the ceiling.

      While I don’t like being home alone with a repairman, I’ll have a 1:1 meeting with a guy at work at any time. I’m aware that not all men are hot to trot and I’m certainly not hot to trot for all men.

      1. Yes. It seems odd to me that a person automatically says can’t b in a room e/ amember if the opposite sex. So y is that? Either they can’t control their “lust” haha or the other person can’t. Uh I thought nk most people can. So what does that say about them??

        1. To me, it says that Derick may have a guilty conscience/insecurity. As far as Jill is concerned, I think she’s just “following the rules”. ???? SMFH!!!

      2. I don’t like being alone with a repairman either. my first apartment was for disabled and elderly, and all of our maintenance man with the exception of one only spoke Vietnamese. It kind of made me uncomfortable. I’m sorry, I just think that if you’re going to have a job like that, you need to speak at least some decent English.

  11. Except for the thing about birth control (I am one of those people who believes something went TERRIBLY WRONG at Sammy’s birth and that’s why she was asked to not have kids right now, maybe not even anymore), this makes no sense. Like why can’t you trust yourself around another woman, you are a grown man?! These kind of speaking makes it sound like every man a woman meets, wants to jump her bones! The same goes the other way around, regardless of what your parents told you, Jill, you won’t just want to go in bed with a random repairman, that’s not what women actually want.

    And again the filtering thing: If you can’t feel like you can trust yourself to not search porn (again, not every man does it), than that’s your problem, not the internet’s!

    I’m not going to comment on how many times they sleep together because it’s just ew to me but yeah, that’s a lot!

  12. 5-6 or more times a week??? That would make it feel like a chore….and if you have to pay a subscription to block certain internet sites so you won’t be tempted, maybe it’s time to reevaluate if you are mature enough to be married.

  13. These Duggar girls, are they even allowed to have their own opinions? All I see are captions that read “Jill and Dereck think” or Jess’s and Ben are!” They all have joint accounts for social media too. How sad, no minds of their own.

  14. So Derricks version of loving your wife includes copy and paste of Jill’s article on having sex several times a week only he edited it to 5-6 times. Not reading his entire post he is throwing out a few facts about their marriage whereas Jill went on and on about all of the ridiculous things she does to keep her man happy. ? How about taking time to listen to your wife when she needs to talk, doing some housework or relieving her of her chef duties and making an edible meal for the family. The greatest gift you could give Derrick would be to take care of the kids yourself and let her take a few days to get the fuck away from you!

  15. It looks like they are not against birth control so I assume they are using it. I hear you about 5-6 times a week……I guess when you don’t have jobs, TV or unfiltered internet you have a lot of time on your hands. Lol.

  16. 5-6 times a week? Me and my partner didn’t even have sex that much when we tried to conceive my son! (We got pregnant the first month ? )
    Something ain’t ain’t adding up in that story, because there’s a 20% chance of becoming pregnant every month, for those having sex in the fertile window. According to their claims, statistically they’d be pregnant within 5 months, no? So they’re using natural family planning (taking temperature every day right when waking up and charting it, to pinpoint and track ovulation) and there’s nothing wrong with that. Sad that these sicko fundies think there is.
    This whole post smells of an ad for Covenant Eyes or whatever the fuck it is.

        1. Okay. I still maintain that they tried within the first month of meeting. This bitch has been mean to me before so I wouldn’t put it past her!!

        2. And before someone goes all “That was mean” on me, when someone bodyshames a person (in this case Bri and Kail), and I reply “That wasn’t nice” and @HAVESEVERALSEATS replies “that wasn’t mean, it was hilarious”. That was mean!!! The only thing that is different is the fact that the shoe is on the other foot!

  17. Ugh. These 2 homely fuckers must be sippin’ the pickle juice and huffin’ the Aqua Net to think the world is just waiting on their sex secrets for a successful marriage. ?

  18. I actually think it’s a good idea that they take these precautions. I moved to Vegas a year ago and y’all don’t even know how many married men will try to take me to their room even though they just told me about their wife and kids. I would never sleep with a married man but I know there’s women that do. My trust for the opposite sex has definitely dwindled.

  19. Who would even have time to masturbate when you’re doing it almost every single day? Damn. They must have nothing better to do – oh right, they don’t.

  20. Okay, I’m dying at the name “Covenant Eyes” ? I grew up in a very religious/conservative family and this sounds like something my mom absolutely would have subscribed to


    1. What I don’t get is that there has to be a way to manage your own account and decide which websites will be blocked. Like parental controls make sense because the parent has the password and can decide which sites to block. But you can’t really block sites from yourself if you’re the one setting up the account. Couldn’t one of them just log in to their covenant eyes ? account and change the settings whenever they wanted to get around the block?

      Covenant eyes reeks of a money making scheme that some cheating husband has come up with to make his less technologically savvy wife feel better about all the time he spends online late at night with the door closed. I’m sure in these households the man would be in charge of the account and have the password and insist that they need covenant eyes to protect their innocent wife from receiving unsolicited emails from horny, devil-worshipping men everywhere. And the wife might believe it because she’s raised in a cult where facts and information about how the world actually works are twisted beyond all recognition.

  21. These 2 bozos have watched too many of them there role-playing fornicating movies. The ‘big booty Judy at a business meeting’ and ‘horny handyman’ flicks. News flash: the handyman will not be a strapping brute of a man wearing tight fittin’ jeans and an ab hugging white T-shirt. No; he’ll be in ill fitting dungarees with a chew of tobacco in his jaw. Meanwhile, big booty Judy shows up to the meeting looking more like Aunt B. than the vixen Derek has conjured up in his mind. There are some people that are just trying to earn an honest living, not everyone is constantly walking around thinking devious sexual thoughts. Seems they think about it quite often though.

    1. This cracks me up! Im glad I’m not waiting for that sexy handyman to show up to fix my “plumbing” to the sound of a 70’s inspired porn track. I’d be sorely disappointed!

  22. [* Shield plugin marked this comment as “trash”. Reason: Failed GASP Bot Filter Test (comment token failure) *]
    These 2 bozos have watched too many of them there role-playing fornicating movies. The ‘big booty Judy at a business meeting’ and ‘horny handyman’ flicks. News flash: the handyman will not be a strapping brute of a man wearing tight fittin’ jeans and an ab hugging white T-shirt. No; he’ll be in ill fitting dungarees with a chew of tobacco in his jaw. Meanwhile, big booty Judy shows up to the meeting looking more like Aunt B. than the vixen Derek has conjured up in his mind. There are some people that are just trying to earn an honest living, not everyone is constantly walking around thinking devious sexual thoughts. Seems they think about it quite often though.

  23. I googled that Covenant Eyes and the whole site is screaming at you to “defeat p0 rn” and “quit p0 rn”. Unless Derrick was an accomplice with Josh’s internet activities, good for them for using the service of off label use in just grabbing screenshots of everything they do? I guess?

    People that are constantly together and having sex 5-6 times a week shouldn’t be worrying about straying on the internet, know what I’m saying. His story isn’t passing the smell test.

  24. As much as I love reading gossip..Im starting to turn a new leaf. I wonder how sad your life is that you have so much time to post about these people. You’re dogging on them because they are putting themselves in a good position? Because their beliefs are different then yours? Are you scrambling to find stuff to post about? You’re literally ruining people’s lives to write articles. You’re always the first person to put a reality star on blast. Nevermind the fact that after you post these articles they get completely harassed. You put their children’s in danger. You’re ruining future career aspects for them. Any chance they have to get ahead you crush it. So I hope you feel good about yourself at the end of the day.

    1. @Kayla– normally I wouldn’t respond to a comment like yours; however, I did want to address the fact that this article is based on a blog post the Dillards posted on their very public blog (knowing full well they would get a lot of commentary on it), and then blasted it all over their Instagrams to get even MORE people to read it. If their children are getting harassed, that’s their fault for publicly discussing their sex life and marriage when no one asked them to. Feel free to blame me and other media outlets for everything bad that happens to them, but it’s not really fair. They are doing everything they can to stay IN THE PUBLIC EYE. I literally just gave them what they so desperately want: more people talking about them. And, yes, I’m doing just fine over here! Good luck in your gossip reading sabbatical. -The Ashley

  25. 5-6 times a week!! ?? Is anyone else, exhausted after a week at work, and inevitably falls asleep on the sofa? Granted, I’m cuddled up to my husband on the sofa, so that counts, right? ??

    1. When I read that, I was reminded of a show I once watched were the wife was reading an article that stated that in order to keep romance alive, married couples had sex 5-6 times a week. And the husband says, “WITH EACH OTHER??” ????

  26. The Josh Duggar inset has me in stitches!! ?? Also, I don’t necessarily think avoiding being alone with the opposite sex is indicative of a trust issue. On the contrary, it just eliminates additional temptation. Although, could you imagine if Jill did have a conversation alone with another man? She’d likely realize the short stick she is stuck with ??‍♀️

    1. This is true. But if you trust each other (and yourselves) then there shouldn’t be any need to eliminate temptation of ANY KIND.

      1. I could not imagine living a life or being in s marriage in which I trusted myself and everyone around me so little. If you have to protect so hard against infidelity that you’re not even allowed to receive the furnace repair man alone, then how deep is your faith and your commitment to each other? I’m always confused by these people who claim to have the deepest faith in the “truest religion” and yet need a bunch of additional eyes on them at all time to make sure they’re following the rules of their religion.

      1. I’ll also add that I try not to be alone with unrelated males for that reason and just out of respect for my marriage. I’ve only ever been with my husband and it has nothing to do with “temptation”, just personal preference. I just step out on the porch if an unrelated man comes over that needs to speak with me about something. It’s not really a big deal.

      2. This is true also. But I think maybe Derick is having a bit of a guilty conscience/insecurity!!!! But whether they are either trying to eliminate additional temptations or trying to keep false accusations and rumors from starting, that this is too much. I mean, when you make these “rules” up, don’t most people see that as a red flag and assume that someone is doing something wrong?

  27. What ever happened to accountability and trust?? I mean, I could see why Jill might want Derick to avoid being a room alone with women, but why would Derick worry about Jill??

    1. Because pretty much any other male on the planet is more appealing than Derrick. Both inside and outside.

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