Trigger Warning: This article discusses mentions of suicide and suicidal thoughts.
Vanderpump Rules star Tom Sandoval opened up this week about his “headspace” amid the fallout from Scandoval, claiming there were times he “felt very, very close” to taking his own life.
Sandoval-– who was outed in March for having a months-long affair with co-star Rachel Leviss behind the back of his longtime girlfriend, Ariana Madix–- made this claim in the first episode of his new podcast, Everybody Loves Tom.
While discussing the affair with guests Kyle Chan and Jason Bader, Sandoval recalled a time when he and Ariana saw Chester Bennington at The Grove just a few days before the Linkin Park singer died by suicide in July 2017. Sandoval told his guests that he “never understood” the singer’s thought process until he was facing the backlash from Scandoval.
“There were some times where I felt very, very close [to suicide],” he said, before going on to explain his “headspace” at that time and the “domino effect” of thoughts he experienced.
“Your world just starts collapsing itself and you cannot see outside of your feelings,” he continued. “Your peripheral goes away, your sense of thinking about the future, about like, ‘Oh come on,’ like, your ability to snap out of it goes away.”
Sandoval said life after news of his affair broke was “like living like a fugitive” for him.
“Not being able to go anywhere, being followed, being harassed just relentlessly,” he said, adding that it all contributed to a massive decline in his mental health.
“At one point I didn’t shower and didn’t change my clothes for almost a week,” Tom said. “Dude, I was so gross.”
Sandoval also recalled a particularly difficult day in which things got “really dark” for him as Ariana filmed a commercial for Duracell batteries in their shared home. (As you may recall, the commercial took quite a few jabs at Sandoval.)
“That was rough,” he said of the commercial shoot.
Sandoval also noted that he was at Rachel’s “beck and call, in a sense” around this time, as the now-former ‘VPR’ star was away at The Meadows treatment facility in Phoenix, Arizona.
“ … She couldn’t have her phone in there, no access to anything, and so I had to wait for her call, which can only happen maybe twice [or] once a day … ,” he said, claiming that up until Rachel checked into the facility, the two were “obviously talking to each other all the time.”
(As you know, Rachel no longer speaks to Sandoval and recently blocked him on social media after he wished her happy birthday in an Instagram comment; Sandoval confirmed the two have not spoken since June.)
Sandoval said he was “so, so glad” he had friends there for him in his time of need. The Schwartz and Sandy’s part-owner also credits his healthier lifestyle-– which began in early April when he stopped drinking alcohol and chain-smoking–- and touring with his cover band, Tom Sandoval & The Most Extras, for saving his life.
“I haven’t drank since– I believe it was April 4th or 5th,” Sandoval said, adding that the day Rachel went into the mental health facility was the day he stopped drinking. “I didn’t really tell a lot of people during the process. I think that kind of helps. I also quit smoking cigarettes. I was kind of at the point where I was just chain-smoking cigarettes all day, everyday.
“ … Honestly, I think that, you know, quitting the drinking and going on tour like, it might have actually saved my life,” he added. “I can’t imagine being cooped up— because I couldn’t go anywhere at the time— being cooped up in a place…not being able to do anything, just wallowing in misery.”
You can watch the full first episode of the Everybody Loves Tom podcast below!
RELATED STORY: ‘Vanderpump Rules’ Star Tom Sandoval Launches ‘Everybody Loves Tom’ Podcast, Months After Scandoval Affair
(Photos: YouTube; Instagram; Bravo)
You are still a lover! Any man who cheats with a friend of his woman is a snake and the same for the other woman. Obviously, Rachel never learned anything about the girl code! Both of them should be off the show, they contribute nothing!
“Boohoo. I made these choices and now I’m being held accountable and no one is on my side! So I’m going to play victim as usual so people feel sorry for ME”
Shut the fuck UP stankvol. No one feels sorry for your pathetic behavior. If you truly feel/felt suicidal, go to your doctor and get help. Not the fucking media. 🙄🙄
“Waaah, waaah, through my own choices and actions, I blew up my life, the life of another person who also did shitty things under my influence, and that of the person with whom I had a commitment not to do this but I couldn’t even muster up the energy or decency to be honest until I got caught. And even then, (tee hee).
“And, then, the person whom I hurt most in this got all the sympathy and attention; she even had the nerve to capitalize off my shittiness by filming a commercial in our shared home, and I’d only thought to use the place to cheat with her friend on her. Not. Fair.
“And, then,
my actionsstuff happened that made me unable to leave and go anywhere, so I had to leave and go everywhere, on tour with my fakeass band.“But, most importantly, more about me. I had the sads over the consequences. Rilly bad sads. The most wronged party got all of the public sympathy, commercials, and a featured spot on *Dancing with the Stars*, the person whose mental health I exploited got a long stay at a treatment spa and nearly as much hate but now she blocked me even though I was there for her through her suffering, and all I got was online haters, an audience for the band I have to pay to perform with me, a returning spot on our TV show, and a role on a different reality competition that’s as physically demanding as DWTS but with nowhere near the cachet, audience, or pay. But my mental health was so bad that I deserved
a long stay at a residential treatment spa, tooa lot more sympathy. Also, here’s my new podcast. Xoxo, Sandy”See here’s the thing…..Once you’re a big fat liar, no one believes you on the big stuff.
Too bad you didn’t use your first podcast to really dig deep and talk about how shitty you were to your girlfriend, both before Scandoval, and AFTER.
I dont believe you, and I think you only created this podcast to try to make yourself look like a victim.
He’s a narcissistic a**. I sincerely hope he’s not suicidal, I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. He created his own narrative though, and now he has to live with it.
Feels like a play for sympathy.
A thousand percent
Sick way to try to drum up sympathy! Sick bastard! No one cares. You created this problem and now you’ve been dumped a second time. Loser. I don’t even think Kristin would take you back!